Right There
by OCDJen
Summary: After a drunk night with his Gay best friend, Jasper is left to wonder if there was more to him then he knew. Will he embrace his sudden new side and take a risk? Or will he forever be in denial? RATED M, E&J, Lemons. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW.
1. Chapter 1

_**AN/ Okay this is my new story, that will be getting updated everyday now that Lay Your Hands has finished. Yes I really am a machine getting this out already, see how I think about you all? **_

**_Now this is a little different form Healing Heat and Lay Your Hands. Its even different from It's Fate, but I'm hoping it will be just as good!_**

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_**JPOV**_

Flashes of the night before ran through my head, the party, the booze, the girls. A small smile crept across my lips as I started to come round to my senses. I could feel the cool sheets all over my body, and I knew I had gotten lucky. A few things told me this, the fact that I was naked was one give away and the fact that I could smell sex in the air, on my bedspread as I lay on my front.

Who was the lucky girl?

Not to be big headed, but fuck I was hot. I knew just how good I looked, with my 6"4 frame, lean and muscular frame, golden skin, my blonde chin length curls and my sparkling blue eyes. I was at the forefront of most girls' dreams at night. I was willing to bet that half the girls in the office would regularly get out there Rampant Rabbit to get off while thinking of me in between their legs, my tongue ball working on their bean bringing them to a lush state of ecstasy.

I turned, not opening my eyes and sudden pain shot up my backside. Fuck that hurt, why the fuck did my ass hurt? Just what happened last night?

My eyes opened and looked to the other side of the bed, expecting to see the lucky woman next to me but the bed was empty. Fuck, that's never happened before. I closed my eyes as images of last night flashed through my hand.

_Flashback _

_I had spent the day going through my latest case. My weekend normally consisted of me trailing my eyes through countless pieces of paper ready for my appointment on Monday morning where I would be handing over some papers along with my bill to some poor sob. Working in accounts was easy really, the worst time was when everyone's tax bill was due and everyone needed their accounts looked at. It wasn't hard to balance books, not really, how difficult can it be to keep track of your outgoing and your ingoing? _

_I heard the front door slam shut and Edward appear, looking stressed. We had lived together since college, there were four of us in the house to begin with. Emmett lived with us until he meet Bella at college and moved in with her shortly after we left and Seth moved out about a year ago leaving just Edward and me._

"_Fuck, it's never going to be ready with these idiots!" He screamed as he sat down. He closed his eyes for a minute taking a few deep breaths._

"_Okay..... what's happened now?" I asked him putting the pile of paper on the coffee table. He groaned and racked his fingers through his hair._

"_The water still isn't working! We open in six hours and it's not working. I can't open the club if the water doesn't work, I'll get shut down before it even opens." He grumbled flicking through his phone. "Jazz, I can't afford for this to fail. I've poured too much money into it." He placed his phone to his ear. "Jake, about bloody time......." He trailed off as he left the room._

_The club, E2 was Edward's new project. No, wait, it was Edward's _only_ project. Edward came from a rich family and he didn't need to work. His parents paid for everything for him, poured money into his bank account, therefore Edward had never had the drive to get a job. His parents had told him to start earning or they were cutting him off, that simple. I did smirk and secretly laugh that little rich boy Edward had to start working. Don't take it the wrong way, Edward was my best friend, we had been friends since we were in high school, but I just found it funny that he was threatened by his nice hard working parents. The idea of a club had come about as a joke. Edward always moaned about the clubs we went to. He never pushed to go to a gay club and it was often taken in turns when we went out. He moaned one night about the latest top club that had opened up claiming it to look more like Primark with neon lights that Emmett had told him to open his own club if he hated all the clubs we went to._

_So three months later he had found a spot, had the contractors in and tore the place apart. He gutted the whole place and remodelled the whole lot. He had promoted the club for tonight's grand opening, he had even promoted it on the local radio station. It was set to be a storm, the place should be packed to the rafters if all goes well, which it will do. He was just panicking right now, last minute nerves and all._

"_Sorted?" I asked as he sat down with a smile on his face, he nodded his head and let out a long sigh._

"_You are coming tonight, aren't you?" I cringed slightly and screwed my face. "Jazz, you're my best friend, you have to come." He pleaded. I shook my head at him. I wasn't in the mood to go out clubbing, even if it was Edward's club._

"_Oh please tell me this isn't about that bitch that dumped your ass?" He asked. I shot him a look. My break up with Alice had been hard, we were planning to get married next summer before she broke it off with me two months ago._

"_Jazz come on, you might get lucky tonight." He wiggled his eyebrows at me. "I have some pretty nice talent in the club." I chuckled._

"_What sort of talent? My kind or yours?" He laughed throwing his head back._

"_Yours, of course. The club is straight, well it's meant to be." He smiled at me. "Please Jazzy, please pretty please." He begged in a childlike tone._

"_Fine, I'll come." I accepted the fact that Edward wouldn't leave me alone until I agreed to come._

_A couple of hours later I was in E2 waiting for it to open. The club was kitted out ready to go as I sat in the VIP area. A bucket of champagne sat on the round table in front of me and our friends. Edward stood in his black suit with white on everywhere else playing with his cuffs. I wasn't gay, never had any kind of interest in men but I knew a good looking guy when I saw one and Edward was just that. He had a swimmers build body, broad shoulders, smouldering green eyes and bronze messy hair. I had seen many girls go weak at the knees over him._

"_Its show time, Eddie boy." Paul called dressed all in black, he was working as one of the bouncers in the club. I watched as Edward took a deep breath, the music filled into the club and within minutes the club was filling up._

_Popping the bottle of champagne, we cheered and drank to a toast. The worst fear hadn't come true, which we all knew it wouldn't. The queue to get in the club was already halfway down the road._

"_Congratulations Edward, the club is filling up." He smiled proudly, drank his champagne and disappeared. _

_The night wore on and the champagne kept on following. I found myself enjoying the night even letting my sister pull me on to the dance floor for a while, before some guy caught her attention and she left me standing there. I was soon about to disappear back to the VIP area when I felt someone grab my hand. The bolts of electricity shot up my hand and I yanked my hand away, turning to see Edward Standing there, a smirk on his face._

"_Fuck Jazz, you been rubbing some wool or something?" He asked. He had felt the shock too, what the fuck was that? Passing it off as nothing I looked around the packed club._

"_It's taking off, you should be proud." I told him. He smiled and leant towards me talking into my ear over the music._

"_Very, I need a drink though." He headed towards the edge of the dance floor and through the VIP area. The noise wasn't as loud in there giving you a chance to talk and get heard._

"_That's better, I can hear you now. So Jazz, you on the dance floor, huh?" I slapped his arms playfully as we climbed the stairs to the area._

"_Rose dragged me on there. I was forced." It wasn't like I hated dancing or I couldn't dance, I just hadn't since everything went wrong with Alice._

"_For someone who didn't want to come tonight you seem to be enjoying it" He smiled, his green eyes smouldering, slightly glazed over with the amount of alcohol he had drunk._

"_I know. I'm glad I came, Ed." He smiled as we entered the VIP area. He grabbed another bottle of champagne and walked towards our table._

"_I can't believe how fucked I feel, all the stress of the last few months has gone." He poured out the champagne, and clicked my glass. "To me." He smiled downing his glass._

"_Shots?" Emmett called breaking apart from his world class act of sucking Bella's face's off. Bella blushed bright red and I smirked at her wiping my mouth, taking the piss._

"_What are we having?" Edward asked leaning his elbows on the table._

"_Oh Tequila, it's makes me happy." Emmett sang in his drunken voice. "Eddie get the Tequila out." He demanded slamming his fist on the table. _

_My head was already spinning slightly from the champagne, the Tequila would send me over the edge, and in fact I may pass out if I drink it. Am I going to be a coward and back out of taking the shots and risk the guys forever taking the piss out of me because Bella is being man enough to down them? No, so I picked up my shot glass and downed the fucker._

"_1..... 2.....3 , Slam." Emmett chanted as the glasses were refilled._

"_I..... I think I'm gonna be sick." I mumbled resting my head on the table._

"_Aw, is little Jazzy a lightweight who can't take his drink?" Emmett boomed at me laughing at the end. Bastard. I sucked in a deep breath, because that was really going to help me stop being sick._

"_I'm fine..... Just felt a bit funny." As if to prove some point I poured out some more shots and downed mine._

_Come the end of the night I was completely shit-faced. I couldn't see the straight, and the club had emptied leaving a very pleased looking Edward in its wake. I was happy that it had gone well for him. He had worked hard putting a lot of time and effort into the design of the place, not to mention a lot of money. He had asked me to do his books for him and as a friend I had agreed to keep them in check for him. After all it wasn't as though he ever asked for anything else of me, and he had bailed me out a time or two in the past when I was a little short of cash._

_He never gave it a thought to lending his friend's cash, even if it may come across as flashing money he was very down to earth with it. He knew his parents had worked hard and came from nothing. He knew he was lucky to have cash always available to him whenever he needed it. I think that was half the reason why he bailed me out so much. I didn't come from a rich family. My family were working class, we weren't broke, but we weren't loaded either, we were comfortable you could say._

_Tonight had been on Edward, every bottle of champagne his friends drank, or beer they had or shot they downed had come from his own pocket. He never asked for anything in return other than helping out with the club every now and then. Emmett agreed to work the doors for him if he needed it and I said I would do the books. For that we got as much booze as we could drink in the club, free entry and no standing in line._

"_Jazz." I lifted my drunken head from the table to see Edward standing there waiting to go. He told me to go saying he had a few things to do first before he could leave, but I wanted to stay and see the night out with him._

"_We going?" I slurred out, trying to stand and stumbling slightly. I noticed Edward wasn't as drunk as me and could actually stand._

"_Taxi is outside." I stumbled and tripped all the way out the club laughing at myself. Edward had managed to get all the way out before tripping up at the last stop into the taxi. _

_Coming back into the house I fell into Edward as we walked through the door. My whole body felt alive as this sudden electrical current ran through me. I started to laugh as Edward got off me helping me up and back to my feet._

"You're fucking gorgeous." I slurred out making Edward laugh as he walked away from me. I grabbed his hand pulling him back to me. Before I could think about what I was doing I crashed my lips to his. I moaned into the kiss as my hands went into his silky hair pulling him closer to me. Edward pushed me back, rejection washed over me as I looked into his smouldering green eyes that were filled with lust.

"_Jazz, don't do this." He pleaded against me. My body had full control pinning him against the wall and I kissed him hard. My tongue pushed against his lips, forcing its way into his mouth, dying to taste him. He tasted minty laced with alcohol. I moaned feeling hornier by the minute._

"_Please." He asked again pulling his head away with me. "You'll only regret this in the morning." He whispered, I shook my head at him._

"_I won't, I want this." And I did. For some reason I had this unbelievably hard desire to sleep with Edward. I was straining against my trousers as my raging hard on begged to be released from it confinements. I kissed his neck, sucking against his pulsing vein there as my hands gripped on to his hips. Pushing my hard on against his, he groaned, the sound coming deep from within his chest, rattling its way up and out of his body._

"_Jazz... You sure?" He asked breathlessly. To answer his question my lips locked against his, battling against his tongue in some brutal primal attack._

_He pulled back and grabbed my arm pulling me upstairs to his bedroom. My mind was hyperactive, my body shook with sheer need, and every single part of me was alive and craving its next fix. My fix was Edward. I was seeing Edward in some whole new light, one that I hadn't seen before. My lips hit his as we entered his bedroom, passion and lust flying between us. My hands pushed off his jacket letting it hit the floor before my hands attacked the buttons on his shirt opening them with stumbling fingers._

"_Jazz, slow down. There is no race." He pulled my hands away from the crazed drunk attack on his shirt and placed them either side of me. He smirked and kicked his shoes off before kissing slowly down my neck. His tongue swept across my Adam's apple before he sucked it. I moaned loudly feeling myself coming undone as his lips kissed, licked and sucked down my neck, gently biting the curve at the base of my neck._

_His fingers moved slowly undoing each button on my shirt until he pushed it off my shoulders. Every single touch set my skin on fire as he slowly pushed me on the bed. I kicked my shoes off as I laid back. His lips met mine for just one small gentle kiss before moving down my chest. _

_His tongue flicked against my nipple ring causing me to me moan loudly pushing my head back into the pillows as he kissed around it before taking it into his mouth and pulling gently on it. "That....... Feels....... So.... Good." My words came out in breathless whispers. No woman had ever pulled on it before. I feared I was going to come there and then and I ground my hips against him to cause some friction._

"_Edward..... please just fuck me." I begged, loving the feeling he was crashing through me but the impatience within me was overbearing. His head came up and looked at me, his eyes dark and full of lust._

"_You sure you want this?" He asked, his voice thick and husky and full of need and lust. I nodded my head as my hands pulled at his shirt._

"_I want you..... please." I begged again, as he got off me and pulled his shirt over his head. My hands undid my trousers, and I couldn't remove them fast enough. I pushed them down as my cock sprang free. Edward's eyes looked me up and down licking his lips. He stood in front of me naked. I got harder by the sheer sight of him, and I was convinced I would explode at any second._

"_Where..... what are you doing?" I asked watching as he went into his bedside drawer. He smirked pulling a bottle out and a condom._

"_Lube, Jazz." He murmured crawling to me and placing his lips back on mine. The kiss sent my head into a spin as his hand trailed down my body ghosting over my throbbing cock. "Turn over Jazz and get on all fours."_

_My heart was beating wildly in my chest, but I don't think I have ever been as relaxed in all my life as I complied, getting onto all fours in front of him. He pushed my cheeks apart, I suddenly felt the flat of his tongue lick up my ass. I moaned at the new feeling as I heard the click off the lid._

"_I won't hurt you, just relax." He kissed the base of my back as I felt his finger push inside me. I cried out as his finger slowly pushed in and out of me. His lips kissed and nipped my ass cheeks as he entered another finger. It hurt slightly as his fingers slowly worked me, stretching me apart for him. It wasn't long until I got used to the feel and started to enjoy it, rocking my hips back against him as he entered a third finger into me._

"_Please." I moaned out, my cock was twitching and throbbing with every thrust of his fingers. I was drunk and high off the feelings that were flooding through me, all these new emotions, new feelings that I had never felt before. I wondered why I had never tried this before. _

_I felt Edward's fingers leave me and I whimpered at the loss. I heard the foil packet of the condom tear open, I looked behind me to see him rolling it down his thick long cock. I moaned at the slight of it as he covered it with lube before adding some more to my ass. I turned my head back and closed my eyes waiting and bracing myself for this. I felt his head rub against my hole making him moan softly._

"_Relax, Baby." He murmured to me as he slowly pushed his head into me. My muscles tightened at the sudden intrusion, the pain ripped through me, I bit my lip to stop the cry of pain escaping me. He stilled his movements giving me time to relax and adjust to him. My muscles started to relax as he slowly pushed a little further into me, thrusting slightly with his movements, going deeper and deeper in. It hurt and burned slightly, his movements were so slow and gentle with me, trying not to hurt me._

_I relaxed a little more starting to enjoy the new feeling on him being in me. I moaned as he thrusted all the way into me. The pain was replaced with pleasure as I felt him hit places deep within me that I never knew I had. My hips rocked back against his._

"_So....tight...baby." Edward moaned out burying himself deep within me. Somewhere, deep within my alcohol fuelled brain the realisation of what was happening dawned on me, I was being fucked by my best friend and loving every second of it._

"_Faster.... Harder." I begged, needing more, needing something more to fill the craving that I was having. My skin was alive, with electric currents running through my body, every inch of me, every nerve ending, and every fibre of me was burning up with the sheer heat and the intensity of it all. Whatever was happening when his skin touched mine drove me insane. I craved that feeling again and again._

"_Fuck.... so..... fuck." I cried out as his thrust became harder and faster hitting these new wonderful places deep within me. I cried out again and again, hearing his moans and groans of pleasure as he slammed into me. I could feel the build coming, the release just over the edge that I was hanging on._

_His hand left my hip sensing my release and gripped my back. His thumb ran over the tip of my leaking cock, I thought I was going to cum there and fucking then. His hand stroked my cock, matching his thrusts and pounded into me._

"_Cum for me, baby." He whispered breathlessly. It was enough to send me flying over the edge. My body stilled and my muscles twitched as I came hard all over the bedspread and his hand. The sheer power of it rocked through as he hit the same spot in me time and time again, dragging my orgasm out._

_"Fuck." He cried out as he stilled pumping his seed into the condom. He trembled slightly as we moved slowly riding out the last remains of our orgasm. Our breathing was hard as he pulled out of me and removed the condom. I collapsed on his bed, my body trembling from the aftermath of it all. I had never cum like that before. The last thing I remembered was his soft lips kissing my cheek as I drifted off to sleep._

My eyes snapped open. I had slept with Edward last fucking night. What the fuck? I wasn't gay, I wasn't even bi, so how the fuck did I end up on all fours being fucked by him? I wanted to cry, how had all of this happened? One minute we were stumbling in through the door, the next I was attacking him and then he's fucking me. From what I can remember I seemed to have enjoyed it as well.

No, No, No. I didn't do sucking dicks or being fucked in the ass, I did licking pussy and fucked girls, not that shit that Edward does. But somehow in the course of the night I had got shit faced and come on to my best friend fucking him in his bed and waking up in my own. I felt sick. He must have regretted it to move me during the night, wouldn't he?

Fuck, had I actually been that drunk that came on to Edward? That I talked him into sleeping with me, that I actually might have enjoyed it? So what did this all mean for me now? I had always thought, believed that I was straight. I had never seen a man that I found attractive in that way. Yeah, I could say when I thought a guy was good looking, but I had never gotten hard over a man, never knocked one out to thoughts of another man, so was I gay, bi or what? Was it just one of those things that you do when you're drunk and put it down to an experience? I thought Edward was good looking. I had seen girls drool over him a time or two. He had his out of sorts, messy bronze hair that just seemed to stick out all over the place, but look really good on him. I knew he was fit, apart from seeing him semi naked this morning. I had seen him half naked countless times during swimming heats when we had all stood on the side and watched him compete, but was I sexually attracted to him? I would have said no before, but now I wasn't sure if that was still the case.

I was beyond confused now. None of this had ever happened before, I had never had a single twitch or thought about sleeping with a man, but yet last night I did. Did I regret sleeping with my best friend last night? I didn't know the answer to that. I couldn't think straight while I tired to figure out what I was now, how everything had been so clean cut before was now completely fucked up.

It had always been straight lines. I liked women and I fucked women, fuck I almost married one, but after one drunken night I was left to question everything that has ever happened for me, left to question if there was a part of me that I never knew existed until last night. Surely this was just some drunk thing where I was horny and experimented with Edward, that there was nothing, of any sorts in it at all, and I should just write this off and file it under 'Drunk and Stupid.' But if that was true then why was there a little part of me that kept saying, you have never felt that before in your life.

And it was true, fucking Edward had lead to one of the most powerful orgasms of my life. I had never cum like that before, never felt my body tremble afterwards. Yeah, I had had some mind blowing O's before, but nothing like that. I needed to go and talk to Edward, find out what he thinks about all of this. Maybe he can shed some light on this for me. But what if he is in love me and wants more? I can't do that, I can't give him that. Can I?

Groaning getting out of my bed, I pulled some clothes on and opened the bedroom door. The landing was empty, Edward's door was open and I could see into his room. I found myself staring at the bed that we fucked on while I heard myself asking him to fuck me harder and faster. I shuddered unsure if the shudder was because it freaked me out or because I liked it. I headed down the stairs. As I passed the living room I saw Edward's feet resting on the coffee table. He would have heard me coming down the stairs. Would he think I was being funny if I didn't speak to him? But if I did would he think of something more? Did I want something more?

"Morning, Jazz." I heard him call as I stood outside the door. I took a deep breath and walked in. I looked at the floor first before lifting my eyes to look at him, a concerned look across his face.

"Last night...... we..... um....... I........ fuck." I stuttered the words out like a complete and fucking retard.

"You regret it, don't you? Jazz, it's okay. I thought as much, that's why I moved you." I nodded slightly his tone full of nothing but compassion and understanding.

"I was drunk." I sat down rubbing my temples. He chuckled at me as I sat there uncomfortable after what happened last night.

"Jazz....." He sighed out shifting on the sofa and sitting forward. "I don't want things to change between us." Trouble was they already had. I didn't know if that was for the best or the worst. I didn't want to lose Edward as a friend and after all I had come on to him but.....

"Are you.... have you ever wanted to.... you know?" I asked feeling even more uncomfortable than ever. Why was I feeling like this? And he wasn't? I had come on to him, talked and forced him into it, not the other way around.

"Wanted to fuck you?" He asked. I nodded my head. "No. Jazz, you're a good looking guy, but you're my best friend. Me wanting you like that would complicate things between us, so I've never given it much thought." He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He looked at me with confused eyes. "So does last night mark the end of our friendship or can you forget about it?" He asked.

I had never had a problem with Edward being gay, I still didn't. He never came onto any of our friends. He never eyed you up if you happened to be half naked around him, never made you feel uncomfortable. He was just Edward. But now with what happened last night I was uncomfortable, not with him, but with myself, and worst still Edward was uncomfortable.

"It's.... we're cool." I smiled slightly feeling the air around shift slightly as Edward relaxed a little. "I'm just confused, that's all." I mumbled getting to my feet and heading toward the kitchen. "Want a coffee?" I asked as I reached the doorway.

"No, thanks. I'm going to go for a run in a minute clear my head before I have to head back to the club. Thanks for coming last night." He smiled at me. I felt my skin creep a few degrees warmer. _What the fuck? I'm blushing now?_

"I'm glad I came, it was a good night." I turned away and headed into the kitchen rubbing my forehead.

I had had a good night, a blast that even ended with me having one of the best orgasms of my life caused by my best friend. My fucking gay best friend, who I have known since I was a kid.

It was just a drunken fuck, a night fuelled by alcohol that made me come on to him. It meant nothing, it certainly doesn't make me gay, or me wanting to a repeat performance. If that was the case, then why did my dick just twitch?

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_**So what did you all think? I know the first chapter kind of throws everything out there. Hopefully if your not sure you'll like it better after the second chapter.**_

**_Please hit the review button and tell me what you think._**

**_Jen x_**


	2. Chapter 2

_**AN/ Aww guys thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews for my new new. Thank you for all the alerts and all the favourites you guys have put it on. I take it you all like it then? And wasn't the sex hot? I think out did myself with that one, hahaha, not that I don't have anything to live up to now, hehe.**_

**_I am getting round to replying to everyone who has reviewed, but I have a blacklog of reviews, for this, It's Fate and the last chapter to Lay Your Hands, I will get to all, but I was rushed yesterday writing this chapter, starting the next chapter for It's Fate and putting up the Christmas tree._**

**_I want to shout out to mhl1115 for recommending Healing Heart on Twislash Unveiled. Thank you so much Hun for it, I t made my day to see my little story getting recommanded on there, I am completely proud and buzzing._**

**_A massive thank you to my beta Ealasaid77, with out her I wouldn't be able to update everyday and give my lovely readers their daily fix of Edward and Jasper._**

**_Now I know a lot of you are wanting Edwards side of this and as most of you know I tend to switch between the guys on the chapters, but this one is all Jasper again. I have Edward queing up to be heard. (God that makes me sound mental) haha. Edwards POV will be chapter 3, promise._**

**_Okay I have gone on for long enough and if any of you have read the auther note then well done for going through my ramblings._**

**_Here's chapter 2!_**

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_**JPOV**_

Monday came round all too quickly for my liking, no sooner had it been Friday afternoon then it was Monday morning and I was heading back in to work. The paperwork was sitting in my briefcase by the door waiting for me to pick it up and leave. I could see it, sitting there waiting as I sat at the table in the kitchen drinking my coffee waiting to leave. Trouble was I didn't want to. I couldn't concentrate on numbers and figures with everything that had happened this weekend still fresh in my mind.

Edward had made himself almost disappear after Sunday morning. I don't know if I liked it or not. It was a little awkward between us now, nothing was smooth and clean cut. I knew Edward well enough to know he was embarrassed by what happened. I knew him well enough to know that he would be thinking back to the night trying to pinpoint the time when he should have stopped and pushed me away. He wasn't at fault in this, I had come on to him. He had pushed me away twice telling me to stop, but I continued. He was drunk and so was I, both us had very little control over what happened. How I could possibly blame him for his actions when I had beg and pleaded for him to do it? Fuck, he was horny and I was offering it on a plate. He had nothing to feel embarrassed for, if anyone should be embarrassed it should be me. I crossed that line, not him, but me. And I had left myself wondering just what the fuck I wanted now.

It became apparent that I wasn't going to see Edward this morning. Of course I wasn't, I had heard him come in at gone four this morning from the club. I had listened intently to his movements, wondering if he would tap on my door and see if I was awake. Of course he didn't and half an hour after I heard the front door close I heard him walk up the stairs and close his bedroom door. I wanted to talk to him, to make sure that things between us were still good, that he was still there for me if I needed him, but deep down I knew things had changed between us. I knew that this friendship I had once had with him was gone. It would never be the same between us, I had killed the friendship we once had. If I hadn't come on to him then we would never have gone to bed together and I wouldn't be left sitting here wondering what I wanted now and wondering if our friendship was over.

I sighed heading towards the door. I couldn't wait any longer to see if he was going to get up. I had to go to work, I had to face the world outside and see what lay there.

Looking at the men I passed I tried to work out if I fancied any of them, if they turned me on in any way, shape or form, but none of them did. I saw a few that were good looking, that would have Edward working his eyes up and down them the same way I would if it was a woman. Not one of them did anything for me. Maybe I was just fucking too drunk to care when I fucked Edward. Images of that night, of us together filled through my head and I felt myself start to get hard. _What the fuck? Surely the thought of Edward wasn't enough to turn me on? _thought to myself as I pulled into the car park at work. That wasn't possible. It wasn't possible to suddenly get turned on by the thought of your best friend being naked in front of you when you have known them all your life and never had a single thought like that before.

So if it was just Edward that did it to me, then what did that make me? Straight, but my best gay male friend can turn me on leaving me harder than I have ever been in my whole life, just by thinking of him? I don't think there is that sort of category out there. I still felt attracted to women, and the thought of having the ball on my tongue bar pressed against some woman's clit was making me throb with need. So that solved one little thing. I still like women, but when I started to think about the ball on my tongue running up Edwards long thick shaft I almost came unglued.

_What the fuck? Are you seriously thinking about having your tongue run up his fucking shaft? Boy you have issues, serious issues to sort out._ I groaned and slammed my forehead against the steering wheel, cursing loudly when it hurt. I left my car rubbing my forehead and made my way into the office. I smiled and nodded at the passing people I worked with and headed towards my own private office. I closed the door behind me and pressed the back of my head to it sighing. What the fuck was I going to do now? I had fucked everything. I had left myself fucked and confused by what I wanted in my life.

The door handle turned and pushed into my back as I moved away from the door, noticing Maria walking in fresh with some files in her hand as I made my way towards my desk. She popped them down and smiled looking at me. "Hard weekend?" She asked closing the door to my office and sitting down in front of my desk. Maria had become my sort of shoulder to moan on when at work. I nodded my head and pulled my hair out of my face.

"Maria, can I ask you something? I trust you enough to know it won't leave this room, I need some advice." I asked her. She smiled and tilted her head to the side looking at me.

"Go on then, I'll see if I can help you out there." I closed my eyes for a moment and thought about this. Maria was a good friend who had helped me a lot with my breakup with Alice giving me insight into a woman's head, but was she really the best person to talk with about what happened between Edward and I?

I could hardly talk to Emmett or Seth. Rose was out of the question. I don't think Edward would want our friends to know what went on between us on Saturday night. I certainly didn't want them to know that I pushed and talked Edward into fucking me and taking my man cherry. I cringed inwardly, man fucking cherry.

"Okay.... You know Edward was opening his new club on Saturday?" She nodded. "It was a blast, but I got totally fucked and fucked someone I shouldn't have. Now I'm really confused and I have no idea of what I want, or what it all means or anything." I sucked in a large gulp of air. Maria giggled at me and shook her head.

"So you got drunk and fucked some girl that was an ugly and you now regret it. So what? It happens. What is there to be confused about? Beer goggles are great and all but they're a bitch when they come off. There is nothing to be worried about or unsure about. Millions of people around this planet have done it." She smiled. She didn't get it, at all.

Yeah, I had pulled a few ugly looking girls in my time when being drunk and horny. Emmett and I had once played Pimp the Pink Piggy. This consisted of getting shit-faced and finding the ugliest girl in pink and have your way with her. The game lasted for one night until we changed the rules, both realising that fucking them wasn't a good idea

"It was Edward." I watched the smile fall from her face as the realisation of what I had been saying fitted together. Her mouth formed an 'O' shape as she looked at me. I frowned screwing my face up in the process.

"That.... That complicates things. I can see why you're feeling like this. So how did that happen? Last time I checked you were straight." I ran my hand over my face.

"I came on to him. Fuck Maria, I have never in my life cum as hard as I did with him. My fucking body felt alive. My skin was on fire, but now? Now I have no idea what I want or anything. I mean, I'm straight, but when I think of Edward....." I trailed off. God, I sounded so fucking sad.

"Jasper, you came on to him?" I nodded. "And when you think of Edward now, does it turn you on?" I nodded again. "Maybe you need to seriously sit down and think about this. If you have felt all of this after being with your best friend, then maybe there was something there all along and you have only just noticed it." My mouth hit the floor. She couldn't possibly be saying that I was gay now, or that I had always wanted my best friend because that would just be wrong.

"I'm not gay." I retorted folding my arms over my chest. This was a bad idea. I shouldn't have told her, I should have kept it to myself.

"I never said you were, do you find other men attractive?" She asked me. I shook my head at her, even more confused than I was before I sat down and started to talk with her about it.

"So it's just Edward that you're attracted to." She stated as if it was common knowledge that I was attracted to my best friend. I wasn't attracted to him.

"No... Look, I was fucking drunk and now I'm confused about my friendship with him. The night was good. The sex I would sooner not think about." _You're so in denial about it. _I am not. I just know that I don't want to be fucked by my best friend again.

"Okay Jasper, chill out. You were drunk and it meant nothing, if that's what you want to believe then fine go right ahead." The disbelief in her voice and on her face made me think that I was sending out contradicting signals.

"I'm not gay!" I snapped a little too loudly for my liking.

"Look, you sat there and told me that you had never cum so hard in your life, which tells me that you enjoyed the sex with Edward more than you're willing to admit. I understand that you're confused by all of this, but maybe you should sit your ass down and think everything through. Maybe you're not gay, maybe you just like fucking your best friend. Either way Jasper the best person for you to sit and talk with is Edward." She stood from the chair and left my office.

My head pressed against the desk. I knew I needed to sit myself down and talk to Edward, but I didn't know if I could bring myself to talk to him. There was such a huge part of me that screamed you're not gay and you don't want your best friend, but the this other part of me told me that I in fact did indeed want my best friend. That I had never felt that electrical current run through my veins before, that spark of passion and electricity that ran through my body, through every muscle, through ever pour until it was running off my skin like a river.

Edward had touched places deep inside of me that I never knew were there. The things he made me feel blew my mind. I had never ever been so fucking turned on and so hard before in all my life. My body still wanted his touch, it wanted another fix, but he was my best friend and he was gay and I wasn't.

I didn't get the whole fucking up the ass thing at all. I had fucked women up the ass and even then I felt a little sick, you shit out of that hole. That's not fucking right to stick something up there where your shit comes from; yet having Edward fuck me was the best sex of my life, his rough hands running over my skin, his strong muscular body feeling amazing under my touch. The way his lips seemed to find spots in places that drove me crazy with need. I was used to the soft gentle curves of a woman, not hard strong lines of muscle from a man.

As my head swam with thoughts of what was going on I dragged myself through the day, forcing myself to do my work when all my mind could do was have some internal battle between wanting what I shouldn't want, and not wanting him. By the time my day ended I was drained, mentally drained from all the mindless arguments I had been having with myself.

The house had lights on as I pulled up outside. Edward's car was still there, which didn't really mean anything as he could get a taxi to the club, but he wouldn't leave the lights on so he must still be in. I could talk to him now, make sure everything between him and I was cool. Maybe I might even find out how he is feeling with it all, maybe he is as confused as I am. Okay he isn't likely to be confused about his sexual preferences, he knew which team he played for, and so was he confused about us now?

I pushed the door open and closed it almost silently behind me. I could hear two voices coming from the living room, and I knew one of them belonged to Edward, but the other one? No idea. I moved towards the door to the living room which was open listening in to their talk.

"He'll come round, Edward. Don't worry about it." The man's voice said to Edward. "I know it's hard right now, but you and him have been friends for years, it will sort its self out." Anger filled through my veins, he was talking to some guy about what happened between us? What the fuck was that all about? He had no fucking right to talk to some guy about what happened between us, it should stay between the two of us.

I walked through the living room door, the atmosphere turned sharply as tension filled the air. Edward smiled weakly at me as this guy with black spikey hair looked me up and down.

"Hey, Jazz." Edward said his tone lighter than normal. The fucker knows I heard the end part of his little talk with his cum.

"Err, I'll see you later, Edward." The guy grabbed his coat and walked past me. I turned my body watching him leave. As the door closed I turned to face Edward who was just getting up off the sofa.

"WHO WAS THAT?" I growled out at him. Edward chuckled, fucking me off even more. "Who was it?" I asked again as my form shook with anger. I was trying to keep my anger locked up inside of me.

"Relax will you, you're acting like some jealous boyfriend, growling at me." He reasoned. Jealous boyfriend? He fucking wishes.

"Who was it Edward and just what the fuck were you talking to him about?" I snarled at him. Edward's face was full of shock and disbelief that I was acting like this.

"That, Jazz, was Peter, a friend of mine, and what I was talking about to him was what happened between the two of us." He answered honestly. His honesty was doing nothing but making my blood boil even more.

"A friend of yours? And you were talking about what happened between us? How fucking dare you! What are you trying to do? Recruit me to the gay squad?" I snapped at him. Anger filled his face as he stood up and looked at me.

"Gay squad? What the fuck are you on about? Jasper, I was talking to him about us because I needed someone to talk to. You're telling me you haven't told anyone? And don't fucking lie to me." He snapped back. I didn't answer. Yeah, I had spoken to Maria at work, but he wasn't about to come walking in while I was talking about it.

"That's not the point." I snapped back unable to think of anything to say. Edward laughed at me mockingly.

"Not the point? So that means you did then. Right, so you can and I can't?" He seethed at me, his face turning redder by the second as his anger filled through his veins.

"No, because unlike you, I wasn't talking about trying to figure a way to be with you!" Shock smacked him hard across the face.

"Trying to get with you? Jasper, I care more about our fucking friendship than that. I was talking to him to see how I can save our fucking friendship after what happened, but thanks a lot, nice to know what you think of me." He stormed past me, slamming the front door behind him.

In a rage I kicked the coffee table, sending its contents flying. I hadn't wanted to fight with Edward, and maybe I overreacted a little. _A little? UNDERSTATMENT of the year, Jazz! _Okay, so maybe I overreacted a lot and I should have approached this differently, but how was I supposed to know he was talking to his friend about saving our friendship? _Maybe if you had asked instead of jumping down his throat you would have found out._ Okay, so that was a big point to take into this, but as much as my mind argued my actions with me over this, I still couldn't get my head straight.

I was confused as to what all of this meant. I didn't want to lose my friendship with Edward, I loved him.... as a friend. We had been best friends for years. I always went to him with a problem and he always came to me. I didn't want to lose that. I didn't want to lose the Sunday morning breakfast and chat, catching up on our week. I didn't want to lose the watch the latest DVD and then pulling it to pieces at the end. I wanted to keep all the good things I had with Edward, all the good times I share with him. Us keeping our friendship alive after our night together was heading in the wrong direction, and yet again I had done that.

When Seth moved out last year I had gone to Edward worried that he would be next to move out. I had no plans in leaving the house. I liked where I lived and I didn't want to have to find somewhere else to live if Edward moved out. Thankfully my fears were empty as Edward had no plans to leave the house, and wondered if we should have someone else move in or just keep it as him and I. I had jumped right away demanding that it stay just him and I. Did I do that without knowing that somewhere deep inside of me I wanted my best friend?

With every thought the picture cleared slightly, but brought a new set of questions to the table confusing me even more, making my head ache more and more. I needed to go and say sorry, go and try and patch up this mess with him. How my life had suddenly been thrown into a spin through one drunken night.

I showered and changed, throwing on a pair of jeans and a hooded jumper. My hair was still damp as I pulled my trainers on and headed out the front door towards my car. Maybe the club was a good place to talk. It was neutral ground after all, and neither one of us should feel that uncomfortable, should we?

For a Monday night the club already had a line, queuing to get in. Thankfully I didn't need to queue to get into the club. I didn't fancy standing in line in the rain. I got out of my car and walked up to Paul who was working the door again. He smiled opening the railing for me, hearing the clubbers groan as I jumped the queue. I had to smile, it was nice knowing the boss of a club.

"Where's Edward?" I asked Paul as he closed the railing behind me, he looked me up and down and smirked.

"You know there is a dress code?" He joked with me. I chuckled slightly. "He's in his office I think. He's not been on the floor as far as I know. Hey, do you know what's wrong with him? He came in, in a right mood." I shrugged, of course I knew what was wrong with him. I had put him in that mood.

I walked past Paul into the bouncing club. I pushed the door open on the side and walked up the stairs towards his office. My heart was beating hard in my chest as I reached the top of the stairs and knocked on his door. I heard him shout for me to come in. I slowly opened the door, and saw him sitting there behind a desk looking over his books. He looked up through his eyelashes. He cocked an eyebrow at me as I walked towards his desk.

"Come to have another go?" He asked me, his tone cutting through me like a hot knife through butter.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you before, I overreacted.... a lot." I sighed and sat down resting my elbows on the desk and my hands under my chin. "Edward, I don't want to lose you as a friend. I'm just completely confused, with everything. It's like a giant head fuck that won't go away." Edward looked at me and opened the desk, pulling out a bottle whiskey and two glasses. He poured out two shots and passed me one, I looked at it and back at Edward.

"You're my best friend, Jasper. You have been since we were kids, I don't want to lose you because of what happened the other night. I'm sorry I fucked you, Jasper. I should have stopped you from doing this." He sighed taking a drink of his whiskey. Did he regret fucking me then?

"We were both drunk, we're both to blame." I smirked slightly and watched as Edward frowned a little.

"Yes, but you're not gay, Jasper. I am. I'm not the one sitting here confused over what happened, you are." He looked at the glass spinning slightly in his hands making the golden coloured whiskey swirl.

"And I forced you into it. I begged you to fuck me, not the other way around. Yeah, I'm confused, more why I begged you to fuck me than the act itself. Do you regret it?" I asked him. I watched as he pulled his brow together thinking.

"Honestly?" He asked before sipping his drink, I nodded. "I don't regret fucking you because I had the best orgasm of my life, but I regret it was with you." His thumb ran across his bottom lip looking at me. "Do you regret it?" He asked. I knocked my drink back and sat back on the chair.

"I don't know. I came fucking harder than I ever have, but I don't like the aftermath of it all. Can we forget about it, all of it and just go back to how we were?" I asked. Edward smiled at me, a friendly smile covered his perfect face.

"It's forgotten about already." He placed the glass on the desk as I reached for the bottle. I offered the bottle to him, but he shook his head. "Working." I laughed thinking back to Saturday when he was drunk at work.

"And Saturday was?" I asked bringing the glass up to my lips, smirking at him as the whisky touched my lips.

"Opening night, so that was different." He smirked looking over the CCTV footage of the club.

"So you're not going to toast our new found friendship and all that crap?" I chuckled, grabbing the bottle and refilling his glass as well as my own. "And besides it's in there now, you wouldn't want to waste good whisky, would you? I'm sure it's a crime." He chuckled and picked up his glass.

"A crime? Well, if that's the case then I guess I better drink it then, but no more and I don't think you should drink anymore either as you drove here." I watched as he took a drink, the weight lifting off me knowing that everything was all good between us again.

I stayed at the club for a while, chatting and laughing with Edward like old times. It was almost as though Saturday night was all but forgotten now. The tension all gone, no more feeling uncomfortable with what had happened. I arrived home a little later than I had planned to do, but feeling so much more refreshed then I had done since the act itself. I didn't think I was gay, or that I wanted my best friend in that way. I think I was more worried about the fact that our friendship could have ended because of it.

If that was the case and I didn't want Edward that way, then why did I find myself awake listening for him to come home?

* * *

**_Okay so is Jasper in deniel then? Does he want Edward deep down or doesn't he?_**

**_I have a question, Can anyone tell me why we call it a Lemon? Why not humps instead? Just wondering thats all so if you have he answer to it then please let me know. And yes I am slightly crazy this morning :)_**

**_Please hit the review button my lovelys and send me some love, Jen x_**


	3. Chapter 3

_**AN/ Aw thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, I really am going to reply, I'm getting there slowly. I love how you all see that Jasper is in so much deniel, hahaha poor boy.**_

**_Oh and thank you to everyone who answered my question about why we call it a lemon, coming from Cream Lemon. I still like humps better, I tried the word lemon on the hubs, yeah it didn't work lol. God and now I'm rambing again!_**

**_Ok so here is Chapter 3 and as promised it's all Edward._**

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_**EPOV**_

Minutes turned into hours, hours turned into days, days turned into weeks. Two weeks, three days and I had no idea how many hours or minutes it's been since Jasper and I slept together. Everything had changed between us, our friendship was just about together, only just. It wasn't as though Jasper wasn't making the effort because he was. I, on the other hand, wasn't.

Sleeping with my best friend was the worst thing I had ever done. How could everything go back to the way it was before our night together? It couldn't. It never did when friends fucked, it was either something more or something less and considering Jasper was straight other than me fucking him, the chance of it being something more was unlikely. I had seen friends fuck their friends enough times to know it's the kiss of death to any friendship, so why did I do it? I don't know other than I was drunk and horny and Jasper was... well handing it to me on a plate.

Jasper was a good looking guy, he was hot, I wasn't blind. I might never have made it known I was checking him out, doesn't mean I never had. Yeah, I fancied Jasper, I didn't love him, or I wasn't in love with him. If Jasper was gay I wouldn't mind getting with him, but he's not, so what's the point in wanting something you can't have? There isn't one.

I wish I had pushed him away and kept him away. I knew that Jasper was more drunk then I was, I knew he would regret it in the morning. I knew that if I went through with it, it would forever change things between us, but I couldn't stop myself. I couldn't fight the pull I felt when he touched me, when his lips met mine, the shocks that ran through me. I wanted him. I don't regret really fucking him as it was the best sex of my life, I just wish it wasn't him that it happened with. The current that ran through me as we fucked, I hadn't felt that before. I knew I would never feel that again, so I backed away, giving him the space he needs to sort his head out. I can't even bring myself to think of what it must be like for him to wake up the next morning after sleeping with a man knowing you're not gay or even bi, it confused him and until he worked through it our friendship will continue to be strained.

The club was a great way of not seeing him, it gave us the space we both needed, with me not getting home until late and Jasper at work by the time I got up we hardly saw each other. When we did see each other the atmosphere wasn't tense like it had been. We could laugh and talk about things, but we both knew that it had changed. It wasn't as free as it once was, it was almost as if we were protecting ourselves, making sure it wouldn't happen again. I often wondered why Jasper had suddenly come on to me like that. We had been friends since we were kids and we had both been heavily drunk before, worse than we were that night and he had never done anything like that, so what changed? Was it just his drunken mind that suddenly decided he wanted to get laid and just went for the first person his eyes came across male or female? Or had Jasper been hiding something from me? I doubted it was the second one, Jasper knew his way around the ladies all top well, maybe a little too well.

Before Alice there was always a stream of women leaving the house on either a Saturday or a Sunday morning, sometimes both if he had been really lucky. Jasper knew how to talk his way into a woman's panties, he knew what buttons to push to make them drop them and open up for him. He also knew he was good lucking and used it to his advantage, so if Jasper was suddenly hiding something like that, he was either very good at it or he wasn't willing to admit it.

I could sit and pick apart his reasons all day, it wouldn't change anything, it happened and we both had to get over it. I would like a repeat performance, I would love to find out what he can do with that ball on his tongue. I almost wished I had found out during our night, but I didn't. I cared more about our friendship than I did getting him in bed again. I had never pined or wanted over Jasper before and I wouldn't now. I could accept when something was out of reach and move past it, so that is just what I was going to do.

"What the hell are you doing?" Jasper's voice behind made me jump knocking me out of my thoughts. I removed the thin framed glasses off my face and rubbed my eyes, before looking at him.

"Trying to work all this out." I pointed at the pile of papers and books that sat on the table in the kitchen, while I tried to keep on top of what was coming into the club. Jasper laughed and sat down.

"I can see that, but I thought I was going to do this for you? Accounts are after all my department." He pulled the pile towards him and looked over it before his bright blue eyes fell back onto me. "Are you doing this because of what happened?" He asked. Yeah, I was busted. I nodded my head and crossed my arms over my chest.

"I didn't think you......" He cut me off by placing his hand over my mouth, the shock ripped through me again.

"You're making a bloody mess of it. I told you I would do it, and we agreed that it was forgotten about." His hand stayed over my mouth while he spoke. I wanted to tease him, but thought better of it. Our old games wouldn't sit well anymore. So instead of poking my tongue through like I would have done before I pushed his hand away instead.

"Sorry. Fuck Jazz, how does any of this make any sense to you? It's all numbers and crap to me." Jasper smiled and raised an eyebrow at me.

"That's because I have the brains to figure it out and you don't." I stuck my tongue out at him making him laugh. "It's easy when you know the how, there is a system to it."

"A system? Yeah, I have one of those. It's called fuck it up and give it to you to sort out." He shook his head and went back to my books as I tilted back on the chair. The house was weird now that everyone had moved out leaving just Jasper and I. It felt way too grown-up for my liking. Okay at twenty-six I should be acting more or at least feeling more grown-up, but I didn't want to.

"Have you ever had a man fuck you?" He suddenly asked. I almost fell off the fucking chair. What sort of a question is that?

"What?" I asked. I must have misheard him. Why on earth would he be asking me that? Was he trying to figure things out and thinking his best way of achieving that would be to ask me about my activities?

"Have you ever had a man fuck you or have you always been the one fucking?" He dropped the pen onto the paper and looked at me.

"Jazz, come on, you don't want to know about my sex life." His face looked serious as he inhaled deeply and looked at me.

"I do, so are you always what is it you call it, tops? Or do you bottom as well?" My mouth fell open. I had never had this sort of chat with any of my friends, fuck this sort of chat only ever came about in a relationship, not from your straight best friend.

"Why do you want to know, Jasper? What's it to you how my sex life works?" He stood up and went to the cupboard opening it up and pulling out a glass, he filled it with water and knocked it back.

"Just curious." He replied. I sighed and ran my hands through my hair.

"No, I top and nothing else." He smirked at me, which turned into a chuckle and then a laugh. I raised an eyebrow at him watching as he laughed his fucking head off.

"So you still have your man cherry then?" He managed to get out. I was failing to find just what was so god damn funny for him.

"In a sense, yes. What is so funny, Jasper?" He flicked the kettle on still chuckling with his back to me.

"Well, I think I should have that considering you took mine." That remark floored me, he tensed sharply as the atmosphere between us changed.

"I.... I didn't mean to come out with that." He said turning to me embarrassed. My mind was still trying to work out just what Jasper had said and what the fuck he meant by it.

"Um... Don't worry about it. Look, I'll leave you to the books, I need to pop out." I scrambled to my feet grabbing my car keys. "I'll see you later." I muttered heading towards the front door.

"Edward, I was..... I'm sorry." He called as I closed the door behind me and headed towards my car.

For someone who was supposed to be straight you don't just come out with lines like that, do you? What the fuck was that all about? It makes me wonder if there was more to his coming onto me the other week than he let on. He had repeated time and time again that he had no interest in men, that he craved a woman's body, so if this was all so true, then why is he coming out talking about taking my man cherry? For one, I don't bottom, it will never fucking happen, no matter how gorgeous they may be. I won't bottom for anyone, that includes Jasper with his crazed idea.

Jasper's rejection stung a little the morning after, his sudden regret after being so sure, hurt a fraction. I knew he would reject me in the morning, it was why moved him. Rejection wasn't something I took well, and I knew if he woke up naked next to me he would freak out and the rejection would be a lot worse. So I did the only thing I could do to save some of the rejection, I moved him. I watched him sleep softy as he curled into my side. The electrical current ran between us, I did savour the feeling of skin against mine, his body touching mine, savoured and cherished the current that I felt as I knew I wouldn't feel it again.

He was gorgeous, so beautiful and sexy. I knew him inside and out just as well as he knew me. I think that's why it hurt so much to see our friendship suffer the way it was. Jasper knew better than anyone else, he knew every mood, every frown and every reason for it. He knew when I wanted to talk and when I wanted to be left alone. I hoped and wanted for nothing else than for our friendship to get back on track, for us to be able to joke freely and not suddenly become uncomfortable like it just did. Maybe in time things will go back to how it once was.

******

Over the next week things settled down between Jasper and I, we managed to laugh it off after his remark. While he claimed he wasn't thinking when he said it, I believed differently. I truly believed that even when you did something without thinking, you wanted to do it. To me there was no such thing as it was a mistake, everything you did you did for a reason, whether you choose to accept it or not.

"There's this new bit of ass that has just started working in the office, eighteen, fresh out of school and fucking begging for it." Jasper declared as he came through the door one evening after work.

"And you know this how?" I asked, wondering when 'Jazz, sex god to all women' would appear.

"You should see the tits she has on her, and the short fucking dresses she wears. I swear she wore no panties today. She crossed her legs right in front of me and I'm almost sure that I caught sight of her clean shaven pussy. I tell you right fucking now, she wants some Jazz lovin'." I laughed. How anyone could possibly think there this much god's gift I don't know.

"Jazz lovin'?" I chuckled out. "What's next? She wants to take a ride on your disco stick?" I laughed as I ran some product through my hair.

"Don't be calling the disco stick, every woman in that building wants to come try the Jazz ride." He smirked and looked at me. "You going out?" He asked in some sort of disbelief

"I have a date tonight." I smirked. "So you can dream of that pretty little eighteen year old with her, what you think, shaven pussy self-loving yourself." I pulled my watch on and watched as Jasper looked uncomfortable for a second before clearing his throat.

"W... who with?" He stuttered out avoiding looking me in the eye. Could Jasper be jealous that I have a date? Surely not.

"His name is Mike and I met him in the club last night." Jasper slumped on the sofa and undid his tie frowning.

"So you gonna fuck him?" He asked clearly sulking. My eyes went wide with shock. Jasper had never bothered to ask this before. In fact his whole attitude had changed now that I was going on a date.

"Don't know, maybe." I looked at Jasper who was frowning muttering to himself. "Okay Jazz, what's wrong?" I sat on the edge of the coffee table staring at him.

"Nothing, go have fun, go fuck the guys brains out for all I care." He snapped at me. "Just go, have fun and enjoy your night of fucking." He seethed at me.

His sudden change threw me off balance. Jasper was jealous of me going out on a date? What the fuck was all that about? He can come home telling me how he is going to get some silly little girl in his bed, but I can't say that I was going out on a date?

"Jasper?" He kept his arms across his chest sulking as he looked at me. "Are you jealous?" I asked. Jasper looked taken aback for a second before shaking his head laughing, a forced laugh might I add.

"Jealous? Fuck no, I'm playing around. Have a good night and you can tell me all about it later." He smiled forcefully at me. I shook my head and stood up. I wasn't in the mood to play games with him. He could either tell me he was jealous or not, if he wants to make out he was playing, fine.

"I'll see you later." I called heading out of the door.

I had arranged to meet Mike in a local bar. If I was completely honest I didn't really have much interest in the guy, he was alright looking I guess, near the same height as me, brownish hair. I guess to someone else they would think he was gorgeous, to me he was just okay. My reason for being on a date with a guy I was not really interested in was simple. Jasper was my reason. I wasn't doing this to make him jealous or attempt to, though after his little display at home I kind of wish I had done this to get a reaction out of him. Maybe it would have saved me the next two hours of what was sure to be boredom for me.

Jasper had managed to overtake my mind, thoughts that I shouldn't have had been popping up time and time again. Thought's that I had never had before of him were taking up most of my fantasy's in the morning while showering. I couldn't have those sort of thoughts for someone who wasn't even on the same side as me. I couldn't have these thoughts over my best friend, and even though I tried to push them out of my mind, they kept coming back over and over again, until I couldn't do anything else but accept them. How had one drunken night of fucking destroy everything?

I wanted him to want me. I wanted him to suddenly have this change of heart if you will and decide that he wanted our friendship to be more. I wanted to feel that buzz again, I wanted to have the best sex of my life with him again. I wanted what I couldn't have and it was killing me.

Never before had I ever wanted Jasper this way, I had never had fantasy's of him, never wanked off while thinking of Jasper, but now that was all I seemed to do. I was falling for my best fucking friend who up until three weeks ago I had never wanted and now he was all I wanted. Hoping against all hope that maybe I just needed to go out on a date and it would rid Jasper from my memory banks, I agreed to go on this date. Now I wish I hadn't. Now while I sat waiting for him, I realised that this oh so great plan of mine was in fact, oh so shit.

"You made it. God, I thought I was never going to get here, so shall we have a few drinks here then we could go for dinner then maybe my place?" Mike's voice blasted into my ear. I cringed, all of this in the less than thirty seconds of him being here and already he has the night planned out, nice.

"How about we have a few drinks and then see?" I smiled gently at him as he ordered a drink at the bar.

Listening as Mike went to tell me about the kids he taught I realised that we had nothing in common. The more he went on the more I wanted to go, I took the night off to come here and sit and listen to this? I should have just gone to the club. Better yet I should have just stayed home in some silly torture of having Jasper there filling my mind more with delicious fantasy's of him. Locking my jaw I continued to listen to Mike go on and on, so far he told all about his job, his mother's home baked cakes and now he was currently telling me about some online war game he plays for a laugh. Really Edward, you sure picked a great fucking date here.

"So then Eddie, you own the new club that's just opened. I gotta say it's pretty impressive. You picked a good spot to open, trade must be amazingly good. Do you live on your own?" I blinked a few times trying to wake myself up from the hell I was currently in.

"Umm yeah, trade is good, it's been open for about a month now, so its still a baby really. I'll know if it was a good place after twelve months, once I've had a year's trading behind me, but so far it looks good." I downed the rest of my drink and ordered another one.

"I live with a guy called Jasper, we share a house together." I paid the tab as the bar tender handed me yet another beer.

"Jasper? Is he like your ex or something? I mean if there is an ex still on the scene then maybe we could invite in?" His eyes darkened with lust as he ran his tongue over his lips. I don't think I have ever felt so sick in all my life.

"No, he's just a friend. We've lived there since college, there were four of us to begin with. Um, look Mike, this isn't going to work out, you're a nice guy and everything....." He cut me off suddenly

"But there is someone else, am I right?" I shook my head and laughed slightly.

"No, there's no one else. It just doesn't feel right, sorry for wasting your time. Mike, I'm sure your Mr. Right is out there, I'm just not it." Half smiling I finished my drink off, Mike continued to stare at me.

"It's okay, I figured you were out of my league, but thanks for tonight away." He left the bar leaving me to sit by myself and dwell on everything.

I needed to look at the facts and weigh everything all up. I liked Jasper a lot more so after our night together, but Jasper was straight. Jasper had made his remark last week throwing me off balance completely by coming out with something that made me think he wanted something more, then tonight's sudden blow up with me going out on a date and him getting all jealous at me for it. I knew Jasper was confused since our night together, but could he be possibly feeling more towards me than he is telling me?

Then there was that electric current I felt, surely he felt that too, or was that only me? If he felt it too, is this the reason for his remarks and jealous acts? How would Jasper feel about having a relationship with a man if it ever came to that, which I highly doubt? Could he handle being seen with me like that? Then of course, there was the thought Jasper could just be wanting to experiment until he found some new chick. If things were to ever happen between him and I again I would get attached to him and if this was some little experiment until he found someone else then I would be left heartbroken and without a best friend. It would ruin our friendship, ruin everything we had. I didn't want to and I wouldn't risk losing my best friend over some feeling that I was suddenly getting. Surely I can just dispel these thoughts and feelings, they had come on easy enough, so surely switching them off was just as easy, wasn't it?

Heading back home I pulled up outside the house, noticing the faint lights that were coming from the living room. We needed to seriously talk, not just brush over it as we had done. I needed to know what was going on inside his head, what he had made of it all. Maybe then things might start to fall back into place. If he had felt something too would this be the reason behind everything? Would he be willing to talk about it and hopefully get to the bottom of it once and for all? I knew I couldn't carry on living like this, pretending that everything is all right when it's not, just waiting for one of us to say something and make the other feel uncomfortable.

The hallway lights were off as I got in through the front door, the faint sound of the TV coming from the living room. I decided now was a better time than any to talk about this. With that in mind I pushed the living room door open to see Jasper lying on the sofa crying, concern and confusion came through me as I looked at him.

"Jazz?" His head snapped up wiping his face, it was bright red. How long had he been crying for? Jasper hardly ever cried, I think I saw him cry once for about half an hour when him and Alice broke up.

"Hey, have a good night with.....whatever his name was?" He pulled himself up and went into a sitting position on the sofa.

"No, it was a nightmare. Jazz, why are you crying? Has something happened?" I asked sitting back on the edge of the coffee table in front of him, he nodded his head. "You can tell me Jazz, you know that right?" He nodded his head as his lip trembled.

"Give me the answers to all of this please. I'm so fucking confused, Edward. Fuck, this isn't right." He grumbled out. "I was fucking jealous, jealous of you going out on a date, and not because you were having a date and not me, but because you were going out with someone else and that someone else wasn't me. Tell me what that fucking means, and while you're at it tell me what it means when I think of you I get fucking hard, tell me what the shock waves were when I was with you. Tell me why I have gone from straight and knowing what I want to....." He trailed off sucking in a deep breath.

My head swam listening to him. I didn't know what to say to him. I didn't have the answers to any of these questions. I had ideas to what it might all mean, but I didn't know if those answers were the right ones or not. He had just floored me telling me all of this, I was having a hard enough time trying to work out what he had just said to me than what the answers to his questions were.

"I don't know, what do you want?" I asked him, watching as he wiped his face again with his hand.

* * *

**_And I stopped right there, hahaha, don't hate me please. Jasper wanted the talk in his point of view, who am I to argue?_**

**_So Jasper being Jealous? And Jasper little remark to Edward, who thinks Jasper wants Edward bad? I do._**

**_Anyway my lovelys I know I still haven't replied to the last lot of reviews but could you please hit the review button for me and send me some love? Pretty please?_**

**_Jen x_**


	4. Chapter 4

_**AN/ Hello my lovely readers, are you alreaydy to find out how there talk went? Hehe. I'm so mean leaving you all guessing for 24 hours, but I can get away with it with my daily updates can't I?**_

**_Thank you to everyone that reviewed the last chapter, I am getting round to replying, but I am seriously running out of hours in the day, anyone else have that trouble? I actually lost an hour at work yesterday, I completley blocked it out, okay I'm rambling again hahaha._**

**_Here's Chapter 4!_**

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_**JPOV**_

"Tell me again why you're huddled up on the sofa with a blanket wrapped around with a tub of ice cream crying?" Maria said standing with her hands on her hips. I almost expected her to start tapping her feet and pointing at me like a child.

Maria was my saving grace after my, oh so fucking wonderful display of jealously when I got in from work. It ate at me like I never thought it could. He was now out there fucking some random guy having a blast and I want him. _Congratulations, you have finally admitted it. Give yourself a big pat on the back; it's only taken you how long? _Fuck off.

The thought made me feel sick. I wanted my male best fucking friend and it scared the fucking shit out of me. How could I seriously want him? I wasn't gay. I didn't find any guy attractive except Edward. I was so fucking confused with what all this meant. I didn't even know if he wanted me, if he had even the remotest of feelings towards me or whether I was just some notch on his bedpost.

I looked back up at Maria standing there looking down at me. My face screwed up slightly as I cried again. I never fucking cried, never! I shed a few tears over Alice when we broke up, but I did not under any way, shape, or form sit and sob like a baby. I was turning into a fucking girl!

"Because he is out on a date and I'm....I'm…" I trailed. I could admit these things in my head, that was fine, but opening my mouth and letting the words come out, wasn't so easy.

"You're?" She motioned with her hands for me to continue. "Come on, Jasper, spit it out." She waited for me to say it. If I said it then surely that makes it real. I was not sure I wanted it to be real yet.

"He doesn't care. I was a notch on his bedpost, nothing else." I mumbled before spooning another mouth full of chocolate chip mint in my mouth.

"And you know this how?" She was still standing and raised an eyebrow at me. "You haven't even asked him. You don't know what he is thinking or feeling. For all you know he might want you and you're pussy footing around like this isn't going to sort it out." She sat down next to me and took the tub of ice cream off me plus the spoon which was midway to my mouth.

"How can I? I'm not gay." She giggled and looked at me placing her hand on my knee.

"You don't have to be gay to be with a man. Being gay is finding just men attractive. Being bi is finding both men and women attractive. When you find that person with that spark it doesn't matter what you are, you're going to want that person. That Jasper is you. You felt that spark with Edward. You know that the connection between you two with that spark is good and powerful, bringing you together. It just so happens that Edward is a man and not a woman. If he was a woman we wouldn't be sitting here now." I rested my head on the back of the sofa as my head started spinning.

"So what does that make me then?" I asked. She patted my knee and sighed, bringing her hand in mine.

"That doesn't matter. You're so wound up over what you are and what you were and now how you fit in the world, but it doesn't matter. You found your one, the person who was made and built just for you, what that makes you is lucky." Her soft tone made me think that maybe I had just been worrying over something that really doesn't matter.

"Jasper, admit that you're jealous, it's the first step." She rubbed my knee and looked at me.

"I'm jealous." I whispered out, making her smile. "But I like women. Come on, Maria, you know my rep in the office. This morning I was checking out the new temp, thinking of ways to get her in bed. Fuck, I even joked with Edward when I came in about it, until..." I stopped again, this was way too much now, and I had already admitted I was jealous. I wasn't going to do it again and again.

"And when you found out he was going on a date you became jealous and realised that you wanted to be the one out on the date with him, right?" She asked I nodded my head.

"So now what then? I still don't know if I really know what I want. I'm still confused." She sighed and looked at me, pulling her hair over the side.

"If Edward felt it then maybe his going out tonight was to try and forget about it. Remember as far as he knows you regret the whole night with him, just talk to him. It seems like you and him haven't actually talked at all, more brushed around the subject." She wandered off taking the tub of ice cream with her.

I grumbled more to myself than to anyone else. I wanted my fucking ice cream. I wanted to sit and sulk, and fill my face with crap while feeling sorry for myself because I was jealous. If women can sit and sulk and do this sort of shit then why the fuck can't I?

"Right Jasper, my bet is he will be back before the clock hits midnight." She flung her bag over her shoulder and looked at me.

"More like midday tomorrow after fucking all night." She shook her head at me. "What?" I asked.

"Think positive, not negative, a fiver says he'll be back before midnight. I expect to see you tomorrow, bye, darling." She patted my head like you would a dog when you're telling it to be good and left.

I lay back down and looked at the clock, it was already nine. He wouldn't be back because he was busy getting laid, fucking some guy named Mike. What sort of name is that? _Yeah, because Jasper is so much better._ Shag off.

Did he care about me in that way? I trusted him when he said that he had never thought of me in that way. After living with him for these years it would be hard to kind of keep that little bit of information to yourself. The fucking tent in the trousers would give it away. And I've walked around this house in towels dripping wet after a shower, just my boxers, that sort of thing and he never, not once showed any sign what so ever of being turned on.

But now he had been avoiding me. He was always at the club and tonight was the first night he had had off in what, a month? Surely if he wasn't avoiding me, then he would have had a night off other than tonight to go out and get laid? I know I had had a few moments when eyebrows would have been raised if he had seen it. Maybe he did want me. After my wonderful little remark of taking his man cherry he left the house faster than he would have done if it was on fire. Even now I couldn't believe that I had come out with that. Did I really want to fuck Edward? Surely if we got together then that would be fair, wouldn't it? _You're actually thinking about having a relationship with him? _No... I mean yes..... I don't know.

Did all gay men have this sort of confusion? No wait, in fact did anyone ever go through this sort of confusion or was it just fucking me?

Still lying on the sofa as my eyes continued their stupid little attack of tears I heard the front door shut. Edward was home, he was back before I even thought he would be. Fuck, I now owed Maria a fucking fiver.

"Jazz?" He called as he came into the living room. My head snapped to him wiping my face. Fuck, he would see I had been crying.

"Hey, have a good night with.....whatever his name was?" I asked pulling myself up to a sitting position.

"No, it was a nightmare. Jazz, why are you crying? Has something happened?" He asked sitting on the coffee table in front of me. Inwardly I smiled and then slapped myself for it. I couldn't be thinking this sort of shit. I nodded my head at him. "You can tell me, Jazz. You know that, right?" I nodded as I felt my bottom lip tremble. Oh, fuck it. Maybe if I just throw it all out there my confusion will stop.

"Give me the answers to all of this please. I'm so fucking confused, Edward. Fuck, this isn't right." I grumbled out. "I was fucking jealous, jealous of you going out on a date, and not because you were having a date and not me, but because you were going out with someone else and that someone else wasn't me. Tell me what that fucking means, and while you're at it tell me what it means when I think of you I get fucking hard, tell me what that shock waves were when I was with you. Tell me why I have gone from straight and knowing what I want to....." I trailed and sucked in a deep breath looking at him.

Shock ran across his face. I stared at him waiting for him to give me something, some sort of answer, anything. Just something that would make me feel better, less confused than what I did now.

"I don't know, what do you want?" He whispered out. I wiped my hand over my face and looked at him.

"You... I think. Shit Edward, tell me you felt that funny buzz fuzzy feeling when we were together. Tell me you..... you want me." I whispered out. He blinked a few times and frowned slightly.

"Yeah, I felt it." He said looking at the floor and not at me. "Jazz, you're confused right now." He stated. True, I was. I was very confused by everything, but he didn't answer my question.

"Rejecting me?" I asked just staring at him. He shook his head at me.

"I'm not. You want the truth from me?" He asked. Nodding I shifted slightly on the sofa. "I've thought about you all the time since our night together, but Jasper I'm not about to walk into something and be some fucking toy for you to play with." He clasped his hands together resting his elbows on his knees.

"All I know right now is that I feel this feeling and it pulls me towards you. I don't know what that means. I don't understand what I'm going through or what I am or anything. I think about you, about our night and it turns me on, Edward. The thought of another man makes me feel sick, but the thought of you doesn't." He rubbed his chin and looked at me, he smiled slightly.

"This is truly fucked up, isn't it?" He asked making me laugh.

"It is, very fucked up. Edward..... can we..... I don't know, explore this?" He looked at me and thought for a second.

"Explore? As in me be your experiment? Jazz, if that's what you want then that won't happen. I get that you're confused and this is all new to you being with a man, and if you want to see where this leads then fine, but I won't be an experiment for you." That was great, all fine and fucking dandy, but now what?

"I don't want you to be an experiment, as you said though this all new to me. I'm still unsure of what everything all means, but I think I want to see where this leads." I answered what I thought was honesty.

"You think?" He asked. Okay, maybe that wasn't the right word to use. _You don't fucking say. _

"I want to see where this leads.... that is unless you don't." He smiled and carefully placed his hand over mine. I gasped as the current hit me again.

"I want to. Jasper, can you do this? I'm not about to drag you off to bed or anything and I don't want anything to happen while we're drunk. We'll take our time, but can you do this, as in all of it?" He pulled his hand away and moved to sit next to me.

Could I do this? I knew he meant the whole side of a relationship, being out together in public, with our friends and our families, could I really do all of that? As far as everyone knows I was god's gift to women. Shit, if I had to fill the house with the amount of women I've been through the walls would fucking break. I wouldn't know unless I tried. Fuck, I still didn't really know if I could be with Edward.

"Um.... yeah." I answered unsure if my being truthful was the right way to go. Sometimes a little bending of the truth was so much better.

"Will... will you kiss me?" I suddenly felt so fucking nervous. He smiled and leant slowly in towards me. I backed off bottling it.

"Jazz?" He asked. I sucked in a breath feeling every muscle in me tremble with fucking nerves.

"I.... I don't know how to kiss a man." I whispered making him laugh at me. I frowned. Well, other than kissing Edward a few weeks back when I was drunk I have never kissed a man, only a woman.

"Jazz, it's just the same. There isn't any different style, and besides you seemed to handle it well the other week." I nodded at him. I could do this. I wanted this, didn't I? I had asked him for this, all he was doing was giving me what I asked for. Sucking in another deep breath I smiled and quickly moved forward brushing my lips against his for just a fraction of a second before pulling back. He cocked an eyebrow at me.

"That was pathetic, Jazz." He chuckled out. Okay, I had to admit it was pretty pathetic. "Come here." His hand cupped the side of my face as he leant forward, his lips met mine gently. I was shocked by how soft his lips were.

Our lips moved together, they felt on fire against his, moving wonderfully, perfectly in synchronisation. I moaned as his tongue ran along the bottom of my lips. Opening my mouth I felt his tongue explore my mouth as my hands went into his hair. I had this strange feeling of feeling complete. It scared the shit out of me. Before I was ready he pulled away and smiled at me, leaving my head spinning and light-headed.

"That.... um.... shit." I got out breathlessly. He chuckled and looked at me. "It really was no different, not really." He chuckled again.

"Wait till you kiss me when I haven't shaved." That thought had never run though my head. I would know what all the women I've kissed were moaning at. "Night Jasper, I'll see you in the morning." He smiled and got up leaving me sitting there with my thoughts.

Had I really just come out with all of that? Admitting I was jealous, asking for us to explore all of this; that I had actually asked him to kiss me? What the hell was I really thinking? I don't think I was thinking when I came out with all of that shit. I think I just followed my heart and what it was telling me to do. My heart wanted me to follow the electrical current, my heart wanted me to feel complete by being with Edward, but all of this scared me.

*************

The morning rolled round and with it brought doubt. I had never pictured myself wanting a man, or being with a man, living with a man in a relationship. I had always pictured marriage and children and a beautiful wife. I wanted children. I couldn't have any of that with Edward, could I? I wanted to explore this feeling I got with Edward, but I didn't want to pass up my dreams of one day being a father, a real father to my own flesh and blood, not through adoption. I wanted a little me, I wouldn't get those things.

Also the whole being in a same sex relationship scared me. I had seen abuse thrown at Edward if he brought his boyfriend out with us when we all went out, the strange looks he got if he was holding his boyfriend's hand or the remarks he would get if he kissed him. I had seen Edward come home bloody after getting into a fight because he was gay. Edward had taken self defence class not long after he decided he was coming out in order to be able to protect himself if he ever got into any trouble.

Could I handle that sort of shit? Fuck no. I liked being able to be open with the person I was with and not have to deal with strange looks or anything. Edward passed them off as nothing and just ignored them. He said it was something you just got used too, but I didn't think I could do that. I didn't think I would be able to be outside and handle hearing the remarks and seeing the strange looks, but Edward had said we wouldn't rush anything so I take it that also classed for going out and about in public, right?

Pulling my suit jacket on I walked down the stairs smelling the smell of fresh coffee fill the house, Edward was up then. Fiddling with my tie I walked in. He sat at the table reading the morning paper, his thin framed glasses resting on his nose. He looked up at me over the rim of his glasses and smiled.

"Morning, Jazz." His soft silky voice hit my ears. I smiled at him and went to go and pour myself a coffee from the filter. Pouring the coffee out I felt Edward snake his arm around my waist making me gasp and jump knocking the coffee over the sides.

"Fuck, Edward." I gasped out feeling his lips softly kiss my neck; trails of fire hit my skin making me feel weak.

"Good morning." He whispered against my skin. I could feel the smile on his lips touching me, before breaking apart and sitting himself back down.

"I wasn't expecting that." I choked out turning around and resting my back on the side of the counter top.

"You were expecting what? I said slowly, not nonexistent." He muttered turning his head back to his paper.

"No, no, I didn't mean it like that. I was just shocked. You took me by surprise, that's all." Trying to fix the problem I walked over to him and crushed my lips hard against his. I shocked myself by pushing his lips apart with my tongue. Edward moaned into the kiss pulling me closer to him. I broke the kiss and smiled against his lips.

"Now that is how you say good morning." I smirked and sat down; a warm flushed smile was on his face as he looked at me.

"So you're still sure you want this then?" He asked turning the page of the paper over and not looking at me.

Part of me was happy he was second guessing things between us, but part of me was hurt that he hadn't believed me when I said I wanted us to explore this between us. Then again I hadn't really been that clear and had used a lot of 'I think' in it all, and there was so much of me that was still so unsure, but I needed to find out. I couldn't handle the confusion and the not knowing any more.

Edward stood up folding the paper in half and left it on the table. I noticed he was in shorts and a hooded jumper. He caught me looking at him, and smirked making me flush slightly.

"I'm off for a run. I'll see you tonight." He flashed a smile and wandered away, the front door slammed behind him moments later.

With everything that had happened I didn't really and truly know what he wanted. He had guarded that from me last night. Was he keeping it back because he didn't want to rush me or confuse me any more than I already was? I wanted to know what he wanted, what he wanted from this. I wanted to know how this whole male relationship worked. I didn't have a clue. Maybe that made me sound thick, but gay relationships weren't really my strong point, and I had never really paid much attention to any relationship he had ever had.

If this actually went somewhere, how the fuck would I tell my parents? They liked Edward, never had a problem with him being gay, but how would they really feel about their own son being in a relationship with a man? I had been there when Edward had told his parents. His mother cried and asked if he was sure, his father didn't speak during the whole time, listening to everything Edward and his mother had said. When Edward finally broke down feeling that his family was rejecting him, his father had very calmly walked over to his son, placed a hand on his shoulder and said, 'if that makes you happy, then I'm happy.' Would my own father be like that? I doubted it. Edward's mother came round after the news set in that her only child was never going to bring a woman home, accepted her son with open arms. He had been lucky. I had seen some of his friends come here after coming out to there families and it going all wrong. Would mine be like that? Would they disown me because I was in a relationship with a man?

Texting Maria I told her she had won her bet and I would pay her tomorrow, and would she mind covering my back today as I had done it so many times for her on a Monday after one of her weekend benders. Maria had no choice to but to cover, she knew if she didn't her three day weekends would soon disappear.

"Jasper? I thought you had gone to work." Edward called all sweaty from his run. I watched as he pulled off the hooded jumper he had on to reveal a T-shirt that was clinging to him like another layer of skin.

"Yeah, I was. I called in a favour. I need to ask you a few things." He nodded and walked into the kitchen opening the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water.

One of Edward's little habits was bottled water, the water filter would do at a push, but never from the tap, and if it was from the tap, it was the bathroom tap as he said it tasted better. What the fuck, isn't water, water? No matter if it has come from the tap downstairs or the one upstairs? It boggled the mind.

"What sort of things?" He asked a little out of breath and necking the water bottle like it was going out of fashion.

"Okay, I have a few questions, so I'll do the hardest one first. What do you want? Truthfully, I want to know what it is you're after here, what you want from me." I played with the edge of the paper as I waited. I wanted to look at his face, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

"You. I want you, and all that comes with it." I opened and closed my mouth like a goldfish in a bowl. "Jazz, don't look so freaked out. You wanted to know what I wanted and I answered your question." Shaking my head to try and remove the shock from me I looked at him. He smiled playfully at me and touched my hand. I pulled it back and watched as his face fell slightly.

"Sorry, I....what do you do in a relationship with a man?" Edward laughed at me, his eyes almost running with tears. I blinked; surely it wasn't that much of a stupid question was it?

"Jasper, tell me the things you do in a relationship with a woman?" He chuckled out. I frowned, was he not getting this was hard for me? That this man on man thing was all new to me?

"Dinner, movies, cuddles, touches, kisses, holding hands, fucking, that sort of thing." He cocked an eyebrow at me and smirked.

"Jazz, think about your own question and then think about the answer you have just given me, I know you're not this stupid. Everything is the same; it's just a man on the other side and not a woman." He ran his fingers over his lips and looked at me. "Jasper, I know this is all new and confusing for you, but if you want us to explore this then don't back away from me if I try and touch you. I'm not about to push anything on you or rush you into anything, but I would like to be able to touch you if I want to, have a cuddle now and then, maybe take you out?"

"I'm scared of all of this, Edward, so fucking scared of what this all means. I do want to find out, but I would be lying if I said I didn't have any doubts about this, about us." This I really didn't want to share with him, but I had figured that he was the best person to help me through all this. His hand reached again slowly and carefully touched the top of my hand, tracing patterns on my skin and setting it on fire.

"You're not the only one with doubts, Jasper. I don't want to lose my best friend over this and I know if it goes wrong, I will. But this feeling I get touching your skin… I wonder if this is really going to go somewhere and I want to find out. I'm willing to take that gamble, risk the years I have know you for, for something great. What doubts do you have about this? Or us?" He asked me as I lifted my fingers up touching the palm of his hand.

"Being out in public, our friends, what people might think. How we will act on a date, that sort of thing." He smiled at me.

"Okay Jazz, truthfully the idea of keeping everything all secret and locked up is not for me. I don't mind keeping things under wraps for a while and not being public about us, but I only see that short term. For the time being when we're out and about I won't do anything, same as when we go on a date, it's your call. Everything will be up to you, but as I said it's short term. As for our friends, they will be fine. They never freaked out over me and I doubt they will about you and as for what other people think, fuck them." He laced his fingers through mine; it didn't feel weird like I thought it might, it felt right, like it should always be like that.

"How about on Saturday night we go out on a date? We'll go to the movies or to dinner, or if you like we could just go to the pub." He sat back on the chair stretching his arm so our fingers didn't break.

"A date? How.... everyone....... I don't know." He chuckled at me.

"Jasper, we have gone out before and it has never bothered you. No one will think anything, it will just be the same as it has always been, it's just we will know the difference. So can I take you out?" He asked, the smouldering green of his eyes looking at me. I nodded my head making him smile. I could do that. After all we had been out countless times and he said he wouldn't do anything and it was all up to me when we were out. Maybe a date might be a step in the right direction.

"What about the future? Like my parents knowing? And I don't want to give up my dreams Edward and for you I will have too." I mumbled out.

"Jazz, your parents don't need to know anything and if we do get to that point I will be there with you. What dreams will you have to give up? You don't have to give anything up, whatever dreams you're chasing I will stand by you." I snorted and looked at him.

"Really? I want a family, Edward. At some point in my life I will want that and the last time I went to school two men never equalled a baby. I want to get married and have that wonderful family life. I can't have that with a man." He frowned slightly, pulling his hand away.

"You mean you want a wife and a mother to your children?" I nodded my head. Well that's what I did want, one day.

"Sorry." I heard him sigh. As I looked at him I saw his emotions running through his face as he rubbed his forehead.

"Don't be, but it's not as crystal as you think, its not all or nothing. You can have a husband instead of a wife, and you can still have children, you use a donor and a surrogate, or you adopt." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"To tell you the truth, I don't think this will work, fuzzy feeling or no fuzzy feeling." He turned his head away from me. I sat there shocked, so now he was pulling out on this? What the fuck?

"Why?" I whispered out, shocked that out of the two of us he would pull away from this when I thought it would be me.

"Because you say one thing and then change your tune the next. You do one thing then pull away from me when I try and touch your hand. I'm understanding, but you're playing with me. It's like you're trying to figure everything out in one go before you set off. It's never going to work like that. If you want me, if you want to give this a go, then stop with the trying to work everything out. I'll answer your questions the best I can, but don't give off mixed signals to me, don't play with me like this. It's not fair." He left the room, giving me time to think about things.

If this was a woman, I wouldn't be acting like this. I would already be there, wanting cuddles and kisses and not giving a flying fuck about what anybody thought of it, but because it was Edward, a man, I couldn't move and do those things. I wanted to touch him, kiss him, and have cuddles, but it all scared me. My body told me what it wanted. It battled against me when I switched my mind two minutes later when I suddenly doubted everything. My body screamed at me to fucking move my ass off the chair and go and find him.

He needed the reassurance just as much as I did, it was completely new to me, but to him this was a new relationship. I tried to think how I would feel if I was getting these mixed signals in a new relationship that was less then a day old. I wouldn't like it and I would feel like I was being played with, with their one minute I'll kiss you, the next I'll snatch my hand away if you try and touch me. Edward was just doing what anyone would do, he was protecting himself.

I had wanted to explore this, I asked him for this last night. I needed to suck it up and follow through with what I asked for. I needed to face the fear and relax myself around him in our home. I wasn't being rushed for the outside world. He had made it clear what he was willing to do, the least I could do was try and relax when we were in our home, and not think about things, or the confusion I may have.

With this in mind I headed up the stairs towards his room. Tapping on the door I opened it without hearing him shout me in. He turned his head to me for just a second before turning it back and looking at the ceiling. His right knee was bent resting his foot on the bed with his hands behind his head. I crept across the floor slowly, making my way to where he lay on his king-sized bed. As I reached him I touched his knee before crawling next to him resting my head on his shoulder and placing my arm over his chest.

He sucked in a shaky breath before bringing his arms around me, giving me a gentle squeeze. The sparks flew off us, as the current ran fast through my body. I let out a contended sigh, and felt happier right now than I had since this mess started. I twisted my body allowing me to be able to lift my head and look at him. He smiled pushing the hair off my face and then gave me a kiss.

"I won't rush you, but I want more of this." His hands rested on my lower back. None if it felt weird. I was relaxed, so fucking relaxed in his arms. It scared me and shocked me at just how relaxed his arms could make me feel. I just needed to remember there was no rush.

"I know you won't and you can have more of this." I leant in and captured his soft lips with mine again. I could feel the slight stubble rubbing against my skin. I liked it more than I ever thought I would.

"So where are you taking me on Saturday?" He smiled a true smile that lit his whole face up making his eyes dance.

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**_I'm not meaning for Jasper to come across as playing with Edward, I am trying to get across his confusion, he has never had a single thought about a man, always with the ladies, so this is new and freaking him slightly. I hope his confusion and battles in himself come off well, I'm sure you'll tell me anyway, right?_**

**_Anyway my lovely readers, I am now running late and I still need to get ready for work :( _**

**_Hit the review button and send me some love, Jen x_**


	5. Chapter 5

_**AN/ Thank you to everyone the has reviewed the last chapter, I will get round to replying to everyone, hopefully over the weekend I should find sometime to sit my ass down and go through them all.**_

**_I'm happy that Jasper's confusion is coming through well, blowing hot and cold with Edward, The confusion will start to settle down soon enough and move forward with little steps._**

**_I know a few of you have asked this in the reviews, everyone wondering when It's Fate is going to be updated. Saturday or Sunday is update day, its still staying once aweek as I just don't have the time to update it more often, lol._**

**_Anyway here is chapter 5!_**

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_**JPOV**_

Saturday morning arrived, the day of our 'date' was here. After my extra day off I had gone back into work and tried not to think about what I was doing with Edward. It wasn't easy to switch off my mind and just go with the flow, even though I had promised myself that I would just see where everything went I still thought way too much about it. The new temp at work didn't help matters when I saw her yesterday morning. She was in the tightest little V neck Tee I had ever seen, pushing her tits up and showing off her curves, adding the black tight pencil shirk she was wearing and most of the men, including myself were battling with a constant hard on all day. This added to my thoughts. I figured out that I still liked women, that I still liked to look at them and fuck, yes, that nice little eighteen year old could easily find herself bent over my fucking desk while I rammed into her. This only made my confusion worse when I thought that if she offered would I actually say no? I know now Edward was on the scene but could I really turn down that ass? I doubted it. I didn't cheat, if I was with someone then I was one hundred percent their's and no one else's, but could I really say that Edward and I were together? I guess we sort of were, but there was part of me that wasn't accepting that this was any sort of relationship because Edward was a man.

I came clean the moment I saw him when I arrived home. I expected him to be hurt maybe, or have a go, instead he laughed and said there was never any harm in looking at the menu as long as you don't go tasting. I admitted that I didn't know if I would be able to turn it down if offered it. Edward disagreed with me, which of course I knew he would. He said that even though I thought I was god's gift to women he knew I was no cheater and come face to face with little miss tight ass I would reject it because that loyal part of me would kick in. I hoped he was right, and when his lips met mine before he left so much of me believed him, believed that part of me that wasn't like that. With his lips on mine I felt whole, complete, I felt like I had come home.

But being left with my thoughts made me doubt and second guess everything, even what I wanted, which I had doubted if I still really knew that this was what I wanted.

Pulling the covers back I decided that now was a good time to actually get myself up and out of bed. I knew I wouldn't see Edward for a few hours yet. I didn't know when he gets in, if he stayed at the club until closing or not, but the chance's of seeing him up now was small. Heading down the stairs I made my way into the living room, flicking the TV on before wandering into the kitchen to start the coffee machine. Watching while the machine did its thing I thought about tonight. Sure I wanted to go out, we had been out before, but tonight would be a little different. How would I feel when we were out? Would I want to hold his hand? Kiss him? Would Edward want to do these things?

If he did how would I handle it? Would it freak me out? Would any of this actually freak me out, just being out in public with him, like I had done so many times before? But now, everything was different, we were sort of more than friends, was Edward now my boyfriend? A chill ran down my spine at that thought. I had never thought about calling Edward a boyfriend, he was a friend and a boy, but a boyfriend as in being together? I don't think I could ever call him that, so what would I call him?

"Penny for them." Edward's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. I looked at him and blinked a few times bringing myself back into this world. He gave me a gentle kiss before opening the fridge door and sticking his head in it.

"What are we?" I asked pulling my bottom lip. He pulled the milk out of the fridge and placed it next to the mugs, he smiled softly and shrugged.

"What do you want us to be?" I frowned at the answer. "Jazz, I'm not the one here that has switched sides. I'm comfortable being with a man, you aren't...yet." He added in a whisper as if he was hoping that one day I would be comfortable enough to be out publicly with him like that.

" I don't know. I don't think I could call you my boyfriend." I felt so uncomfortable standing there, looking at Edward sigh.

"Well don't then, but I would like to think I'm a little more then your friend, Jazz." The filter was finsihed doing its magic. I poured out the wonderful black colour liquid. "You're overthinking things again, just relax. Everything will fall into place, it always does." He flashed me a smile.

"You know tonight, could we stay in instead?" I asked, he looked at me over the edge of his mug as he took a drink.

"Why? I thought you wanted me to take you out?" He placed his coffee cup on the side and ran a hand through his hair. "Please, I want to go. It's only the movies, we've been countless times before."

"I was thinking if we stay in we can cuddle and watch a film together." Edward shook his head at me. I pouted and sulked trying to push him into my way of thinking.

This would be the first time we had gone out together in public since we started.... well, whatever this was. Even though he had said it would be no different from when we have gone out before I still couldn't help feeling nervous over it and worrying about whether or not we would look different. Would people would be able to tell? Didn't gays have like this sense of knowing if someone is gay or not? Or was that just something that people made up? Yeah, I had seen a few guys who you could tell were gay really camp, but looking at Edward if I didn't know he was gay I would never have guessed. Women certainly didn't figure it out.

Edward moved towards me, his hands rested on my hips, his smouldering green eyes burning into me, making me feel lost and weak. His lips kissed my lips just once in a gentle kiss before kissing along my jaw toward my ear. I moaned tilting my head feeling his stubble rubbing gently across my skin. "How about we catch an early showing and then come home and watch a film and cuddle, sounds fair to me, what about you?" He whispered in my ear making me shiver.

"How early?" My voice sqeaked out higher than normal. His eyes met mine and I couldn't help but lean in and capture his soft lips. Weaving my fingers through his soft locks I pulled him closer to me, my head tilted as my mouth opened deepening the kiss. Edward moaned gently as his growing erection pushed against mine. I was shocked to find I was incrediblely turned on and fucking hard as a rock. I moaned as I broke from the kiss and started kissing down his neck, his hips rocked slowly into mine causing wonderful friction. I reached the bottom of his neck and sucked slightly, Edward hissed in pleasure. It was one of the most sexist sounds I'd ever heard. I couldn't stop myself from smiling knowing I was causing these sounds to come from him. Pulling away from his neck I looked at a very flushed looking Edward, a sexy sheepish smile on his red plump lips, his eyes darkened with lust. I grinned almost childishly at him, feeling stupid of being so proud of making another man make those noises. He brushed his lips against mine once before resting his forehead against mine, his breath rough and ragged as he sucked in a few shakey breaths.

"Fuck, Jazz." He whispered, his breath fanned my face, my body was already running high with an electric current that was speeding through my veins.

"Do I turn you on?" A chuckle escaped my lips, had I really just said that? He pushed himself against me. Feeling his rock hard cock made my breath hitch and catch in my throat.

"What do you think? The question is do I turn you on?" He cocked an eyebrow at me, his smouldering green eyes full of lust burned into mine.

"Fuck, yes." I growled out and thrust my hips forward into him making him moan with pleasure. Jesus fucking Christ, just what the hell was I doing? _Considering you have already let him fuck you, I think this is perfectly normal. _

"So shall we meet in the middle and go to an early showing?" He asked backing away from me, causing me to whimper. He smirked at me and picked up his mug of coffee.

Early showing then home and cuddle and watch a movie. The chances were good that if we went early enough there wouldn't be a lot of people around. I needed little tiny steps at a time if we were going to do this. I had realised that I needed to relax more at home with Edward. He wouldn't push me into anything I wasn't ready to do. He wanted cuddles and kisses from me without me freaking out, and in the safety of our home I could forget everything that was going around my head, all the confusion, all the crap. Everything went away and I just focused on us at the time being.

"Sure, I'll jump in the shower now and we can head off." I turned emptying the rest of the coffee down the sink. Before I had even finished emptying it Edward planted a kiss on my cheek and headed towards the door.

"You'll have to wait as I'm in the shower first." He flashed a smile and shot up the stairs, I chuckled.

My focus seemed to stay on the window in the kitchen. A few months ago I was planning on getting married to Alice. I couldn't have been happier being with her planning our future together, and then she just left, claiming she needed to go off and find herself, whatever that meant. It still hurt to think of her, thinking of what she said, what we had, the pain I felt to lose her and now I was being turned on by my best friend. How the fuck did this turn out like this?

I walked up the stairs, my plan was to head to my room and find something to wear, but as I moved past the bathroom door Edward walked out, dripping wet, a towel wrapped around his waist, my eyes fell to the floor. I had seen Edward come out of the shower a time or two, fuck I had seen Emmett and Seth like this, we all had, it was part of living together, but now? After that night I didn't know if I should look at him or not.

"Showers free, babe." He said while I focused on his feet. Did he really just call me babe? It was a term I had used on girlfriends in the past; it wasn't something that I thought I would ever hear from a man directing it to me. "Jazz?" He asked my eyes still looking at his feet.

"Yeah thanks, I'll have one in a minute." I went to walk past him, but he grabbed my arm pulling me back towards him.

"Look at me, what's wrong?" He asked the concern thick in his voice; his fingers went under my chin pushing it up. I kept my eyes everywhere but on him.

"I… I don't know where to look." I mumbled out. He chuckled at me turning my head more towards him, almost forcing my eyes to look at him.

"You have seen me naked; surely this can't be any more uncomfortable." My eyes drifted down his wet body. Fuck, I could feel myself getting hard by the sight of him like this. He smirked at me.

"Sorry…. I…. um….. well…." I was mumbling like an idiot. Edward shook his head at me, a smug smile on his face.

"Don't be." He walked past me and into his room, closing the door behind him.

All I had to do was shower, get dressed and we would be out of here, out into the world, on our date. Closing the door to the bathroom I stripped off and jumped in the shower. The hot water hit my body relaxing all the knotted muscles I had, shaving off the stubble and washing my hair I climbed out and brushed my teeth.

If this was to really work between us how would we go about living together? Surely normally you met someone, dated for a while then maybe move in together, but we were already doing that, so would one of us move rooms? Or would we stay as we were? If we moved into one room, who would move? Or would we move into a whole new room all together? Fuck, I was thinking too far ahead. I still wasn't sure what I was doing and here I was thinking about us sharing a room together? What the fuck was all that about?

Deciding I was spending far too much time on my own I changed, pulling on a pair of light stone wash jeans and a white shirt. I wondered if I was maybe going a little over the top with the whole getting dressed thing. What was Edward wearing? For all I knew he could be wearing track bottoms and a hooded jumper then I would look like a twat for wearing a shirt. Though this was a date, wasn't it? Weren't you supposed to look good for your dates?

Taking two steps at a time I ran down the stairs and into the living room, my eyes falling on Edward. I had to admit he looked good. The dark grey V neck jumper hugged his muscles nicely. My eyes looked at his ass, which was hugged by his black jeans, thoughts of me grabbing it ran through my mind before I quickly pushed them away.

"You look nice." I blurted out making him chuckle as he turned round, his eyes giving me the once over.

"Thank you, you look gorgeous." He gave me a kiss on the lips and smiled. "Ready to go?" He asked pulling his jacket on.

"Um… yeah. Edward, you know this date, you're not going to….. you know?" He rolled his eyes at me.

"No, I won't touch you or anything. I will be good." He mocked grabbing his car keys. "I'm driving, come on."

Sitting in the car with Edward I felt like a little school girl all full of nerves. Fuck, I had been in the car with him countless times before so why now was I suddenly feeling like at any given second I was going to have a panic attack?

We didn't say anything to each other as we headed to pictures. The closer we got the more nervous I became. As Edward pulled into the parking lot I noticed all the people walking in. I groaned more inwardly than outwardly, why was it so fucking busy? Why did everyone want to come here at the same time as me? I thought now would be better than later. I was fucking wrong. At least later, I would have been under the cover of darkness.

"Are we getting out?" Edward asked looking at me; his eyes hopeful that I wasn't about to freak out at him and run a mile. This had never bothered me before. We had done this loads of times before, we queued for hours together to go and see Lord Of The Rings when it came out. Fuck, we even went to see Ice Age together and I was fine, but now?

"I want to go home, I can't, all these people….. I can't." I screamed at the top of my lungs at him, he blinked and shook his head before looking at me.

"And why not?" He asked raising an eyebrow at me questioning me with everything, wondering just what I was doing.

"Because I'm not ready to be out in public, this isn't fair on me, you're making me and I'm not ready." I whined out like a baby. Where the fuck was I going with the whining? I never fucking whined.

"I'm not making you do anything and I'm not asking you to be out, as you so wonderfully put it. We have done this countless times. What's so different between then and now? I'm not about to jump on you, Jazz, if that's what you're thinking." He snapped huffing and folding his arms across his chest.

"Because we're on a date right now and before we weren't." I matched his tone; I wasn't going to back down from this.

"And we're the only ones that know, for fuck's sake, Jasper. To everyone in there they will think it is just two friends who have gone to catch a movie together." Edward was getting pissed off at me; I could see the anger rising in his face.

"But we're not. I'm going home. You may be fine with this, but I'm certainly not. This is a confusing time for me and this sort of shit isn't helping." Was I being just a little harsh? Fuck it if I was, I didn't fucking care.

"So now I can't take you out? Just what can I do? Please fucking tell me because I have zero fucking idea what I'm supposed to do." Hitting the steering wheel with the palm of his hand he looked at me. "Jasper please, we have done this so many times before. I want to take you out, Jasper. I'm not ashamed of who I am. I know you're confused with everything and you're still figuring this out, but please get out of the car and come with me. You said you would, you said I could take you out. I've told you I won't do anything, not until you're ready. Please Jazz." He pleaded with me; I didn't move or say anything. He sighed in defeat at me.

"Fine, I'll drop you off at home." He started the car; he looked crushed as he wiped his face before pulling the gear into reverse.

"Wait, I'm being stupid. Let's go and watch the movie." He shook his head at me and sighed.

"It's okay. I know you don't want to. I'll just drop you off home and get out of the way for a while. I'm sorry I wanted to take you out and try and do something normal with you." I had hurt his feelings by being an ass and making a bigger fuss over this than was necessary.

"No, I want to go, I just freaked a little. Please, I don't want you to get out of my way, and I want to spend today with you. I'm sorry. Can we go see the movie now before it starts?" He cut the engine off and opened the door to get out.

"You sure?" He asked me, I nodded and got out of the car.

We walked into the cinema together and for a few seconds I thought people were looking, that they knew we were on a date. Sucking in a few deep breaths I willed myself to calm down, willed myself to relax as Edward bought the tickets and walked back over to me. He flashed a smile and started to head off towards the scene two. _For the love of god and all things fucking holy will you get your god damn act together and follow him before he thinks you have bailed! Jesus, why the fuck did I get put with you? _What the hell, are you asking for a new body now? _The fucking god who you're wanting so fucking badly has just gone that way and you're not moving! _Stop telling me what to do. I'll move when I'm ready!

Now I was arguing with myself, can we say insane? I walked on after Edward who was now standing waiting for me, he looked slightly amused as I approached, and I wondered if he knew I was arguing with myself?

The movie room was almost empty as we sat down watching the crap they liked to play before the movie actually starts. Do we really need to have the no phone sign every thirty seconds? Like hell was I going to turn it off, fuck that. For a laugh, I put it on vibrate instead, the phone stays on, three hundred sixty-five days a year, seven days a week. It's never off, and this would be no different. As the light went out I relaxed clocking that there were only us and three other couples in there.

Darkness covered the cinema, only the big screen lighting up the room as it played the movie. My eyes kept moving back to Edward who hadn't moved or looked at me once. I was slightly disappointed that he hadn't looked at me, but then he did say he wouldn't do anything so I guess I couldn't really complain, could I? Halfway through the film I got bored. The movie wasn't great, meant to be some awesome scary film, Emmett was scarier hung-over and looking for food after a night out, this was shit! Paranormal Activity, my ass, no wonder it was fucking dead in here. We should have picked something else.

Without really thinking about what I was doing my hand landed on Edward's thigh. I heard his breathing hitch slightly, but his eyes never moved towards me. My mind filled with thoughts of this morning in the kitchen as I moved my hand slowly up his thigh. I looked around to make sure that no one was watching. Thankfully no one had sat behind us so the coast was clear. My hand trailed further up ghosting my fingers over his bulge in his jeans. His eyes closed as I lightly stroked him through his jeans, his breathing was ragged and shaky making me smile. Becoming more daring I gently squeezed his cock, making him hiss.

"Jazz, stop please." He whispered grabbing my hand, I smirked.

"You mean you don't want me to touch you?" I whispered back, just where the fuck was this cockiness coming from?

He let go of my hand as I smiled in victory, before kissing his neck. I wanted to go home and explore a little more, the early thoughts and fears long gone. The dark room made it easy for me to touch him without us being seen but I wanted more right now.

"Can we go home?" I purred into his ear. Edward was up in a flash and making his way out of the cinema. I smirked leaving the cinema, feeling very fucking full of myself. I found Edward already in the car by the time I got myself together.

"Fuck Jazz, do you want me to go back on my word?" He asked slamming the car into reverse and pulling out.

"Just drive back home." I flashed a smile, that hadn't actually been that bad. In fact I enjoyed toying with Edward in the cinema turning him on like that.

I knew I wasn't ready to actually sleep with him, even though we had already done that, but fuck I needed some release from all this and I was feeling brave. Would this braveness last once we made it home? It should considering I felt more confidant at home where no one could see us, where we were safe to do what we wanted.

As Edward pulled to a stop outside the house we shared I darted out of the car and towards the front door. I was surprised by how fast Edward was, ending up right behind me as I put the key in the door. The moment we came through the door Edward's lips met mine hard, forcing his tongue into my mouth. My lips were on fire as he pushed me towards the living room. I pushed back and pulled away from him.

"I'm not ready to fuck, but can we go upstairs to your room and……. Um do..." I didn't get a chance to finish which I was glad about as I felt a little stupid. His lips crashed against mine again before grabbing my hand and pulling me up the stairs towards his bedroom. My heart was beating like mad in my chest as everything crashed through me, I was turned on and my skin was on fire from his touch.

As he closed the bedroom door I sudden became nervous. I gulped as he came towards me with lust-filled eyes. He smiled at me and licked his lips before kissing me again; I tensed up making him pull back.

"Jazz, what's wrong?" He whispered in my ear. I shook slightly as my nerves just went to pot. I wanted to do something, but I wasn't really sure how. Other than being drunk when Edward and I had been together I had never done this before.

"I….fuck." Frustrated I pulled at my hair. He cocked an eyebrow and took hold of my hands stopping me from pulling at my hair. He let go of one of my hands and ghosted his free hand over my straining erection.

"Relax Jazz; let me give you the release you need." He kissed my neck lightly and then smiled at me.

"I don't know what to do." I said feeling stupid for admitting this. I was experienced. Fuck, I knew just what to do with a woman, but that was the problem. I knew what to do when it came to women, but to a man? I had zero idea.

"Do what feels right." His fingers unbuttoned my shirt before pushing it off my shoulders. "Do you know how sexy you are?" He purred in my ear as his fingers pulled gently on my nipple ring making me moan.

I tugged his jumper up, our lips breaking apart so it went over his head. He pushed my shoulders back making me fall backwards on the bed. I kept myself up by propping myself up on elbows, my head rolled back as he kissed and sucked along my neck moving down my chest before reaching my nipple ring. I gasped loudly as he took it in between his teeth and tugged at it. My hands found themselves in his hair pushing his head downwards to where I so desperately needed him to be, where I craved to find out just what he could do with that mouth of his.

Letting go of my nipple ring he looked at me and crushed his lips hard against mine hard. His tongue explored my mouth, every inch of it, sucking my tongue into his mouth. I broke apart from the kiss and kissed along his jaw.

"I think we need to slow down." He said suddenly. I looked at him shocked; he cupped my cheek with his hand, rubbing his thumb up and down.

"You're horny, Jasper, but it wasn't that long ago you were freaking out in the car park about going into the cinema. I don't want regrets, I don't want you to do something then push away from me. So I think we should stop." Calming myself down me looked at him.

"You're protecting yourself, aren't you?" I asked. I could understand him doing this; I had switched around so many times during our couple of days together.

"Yes, but I also want you to be sure. Jasper, I want you, I really want you. I just don't want regrets to be through our relationship." He gave me a kiss and lay down next to me. I rolled on top of my stomach and looked at him.

"I want you, it's just so scary." His arm went around me pulling me to him. I curled into him inhaling deeply as I kissed his chest. "How long will I be like this for? The being unsure of everything?"

"I don't know, Jazz. I guess over time you will figure it all out and become comfortable." He kissed the top of my head. "I have been there. When I figured out that I was gay the hardest thing for me was actually accepting it. I didn't want to be the odd one; I didn't want to be the one that would sooner go hunt the net for gay for porn so I could wank off to two men while my friends hunted for net for tits. I could have stayed in denial and pretended. Many people do it, go off, get married, have a couple of kids, but never truly feel happy, or I could accept it and be happy."

"You're struggling to accept this, to accept this feeling with another man. I have the easier side as I have already gotten used to it and accepted it. Once you accept it, accept what your body wants, the fears, the doubts, the confusion will disappear. Talk to me, Jazz. I won't ever be mad at you, I may laugh if you come out with something stupid, but I won't be mad with your questions or doubts. We will do this together, but you need to accept it. Maybe you should meet Peter." I lifted my head up and looked at him; he smiled and touched my face.

"Why Peter?" I asked, wondering why Peter would be the best person to talk to. I didn't even know Peter.

"He has been in a similar situation to what you're in. Peter was in a relationship when he met Garrett. He got that warm fuzzy feeling and went through all the emotions that you're going through. His mind told him to stay safe with Charlotte, but his body wanted Garrett. He had experimented with men before but nothing too serious. Anyway, cutting it short, he is now happy with Garrett. If you want we'll invite them over and you can have a chat with him, he's easy going, a little off and out there sometimes, but I think you and him will get along just fine." I was touched; he wanted me to speak to someone who has been through this.

"You'll do that for me?" He nodded his head and laced his fingers with mine.

"Yes, because I want this to be right, no mistakes or regrets." God, I could fall in love with him. _Fall? I think you're already falling, Jazz._

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So is Jasper falling in love with Edward then? Me thinks he is, hehe but then again I know whats going to happen.

**Do you think it was right for Edward to stop them? I almost wrote some hotness but suddenly went against it, thinking about what I had wrote and wondering if that would make sense, I'm happy I stopped, but don't worry my lovelys I will have some hot chapters coming up pretty soon.**

**Anyway please hit the review button and send me some love. Jen x**


	6. Chapter 6

_**AN/ Thank you so much for all the reviews for the last chapter, I think I have replied to everyone for chapter 5, if i missed you then I'm sorry. I'm glad you all liked that Edward stopped them from going any further, I know I wanted to see some "humps" there, hehe.**_

**_I hope you guys like this chapter._**

**_Here's chapter 6!_**

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_**EPOV**_

Sunday morning brought a whole load of crap its way, or more my way. My life had never been this complex. I hated how this was, and hated how Jasper would just switch with me. The whole date had been a complete fucking disaster. Never before has he had a problem being out seen with me, but Sunday it's some great big problem that he can't seem to sort out. It's not as though I have a fucking neon sign over my head shouting that I was gay. Even if I did, so fucking what?

I have never wanted to floor anyone as much as I wanted to floor Jasper yesterday. His whole behaviour was so childish, throwing a fit in the car because suddenly he realised he might be seen with a gay man. What the hell was all that about? I get that he is confused, get that this is all new and scary. Fuck, I even get and understand that this isn't something he has done before and he feels a little uncomfortable, but the switching has to stop. I can't live my life like this. He freaks out over the fact that I might do something and then he's the one pulling moves on me. I didn't really mind, but I was slightly fucked off that he freaked in the car and then did that. If this was ever going to work he can't keep doing this.

I had to put a stop to it yesterday. All I could see was him freaking out over it later. I wasn't ready to handle that sort of rejection from him. He needs to be ready before we can actually move forward in that area. It took a lot of control to stop it from getting there, and yesterday I almost didn't stop it. As much as I wanted him, it has to be right. I didn't know if it was ever going to get there, if it ever will be right, if he'll ever be able to accept what was happening between us. If he stays in denial forever this won't work. I came out a long time ago. I was not one for hiding away from the world and if that's what Jasper wants then this will end badly. I only hope that he starts to accept this after meeting Peter and Garrett, when he speaks to someone who has sort of been through what he is going through.

Peter and Garrett were coming round later today. Jasper would get the chance to talk to him and hopefully understand more of what is happening. Peter and Garrett have been together for years, this would give me a chance to speak to Garrett about everything and find out more about how he felt when he went through this.

"Do they know?" Jasper asked as he walked into my room and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Good morning to you, too." Smirking I turned on to my side and propped my head up with my hand, resting my elbow on the pillow

"Sorry." He leant forward and captured his lips with mine; the fresh taste of mint hit my taste buds as our tongues danced together. Why couldn't he be like this more often, instead of the over-thinker that he was? "Morning." He whispered against my lips, I smiled before pulling back.

"They know, Jazz, you won't need to explain anything if you don't want to." Answering his question, Jasper just nodded and pulled his knees up.

"I want this, you know? I know I'm not really filling you with confidence over it, and my little freak outs, it's all new and strange to me." His fingers reached out and touched my bare chest sending my heart racing and my skin on fire. "I want to try, and I mean really try. Right now I'm doubting a lot of things; everything I have ever known has been turned upside down and put on its ass. I want to be happy and I want to be with you. I want to be able to hold your hand in public or kiss you and not give a fuck what people think." He smiled warmly at me and lay on top of me, his head resting on my chest. My arms went around him touching his back.

"Don't blow hot and cold with me, okay? There's only so much I can take and little stunts like the one you pulled in the car park yesterday will piss me off and next time I might not hold back. I'm not madly in love with you, I never have been. Yeah, I'm falling for you, but that doesn't mean I'm willing to take all I can get from you. I'm not that desperate for your attention." Jasper closed his eyes at me tilting his head downwards. "I'm not saying this to be nasty, Jazz. I just don't want to get hurt through all of this. I'm willing to help you here, you're not on your own, but you really need to start helping yourself. It's been close to a week since you said you wanted this, I'm not expecting miracles overnight, but I would like some change to happen." I lifted his head up to look at me, holding his face in my hands.

"If you want me, you want us, then you're going to have to start showing me. If you don't then it ends now, Jasper." He sighed and touched my hand with his.

"I do, I want us, I want this, please give me time." I smiled and rubbed my thumb on his cheek.

"You have time, Jazz, just start showing me. It's all I ask." I leant forward giving him a kiss on the lips.

"Does it still bother you when you hear people making comments or throwing looks your way?" He asked as he pulled away from the kiss.

"Sometimes it does, it pisses me off more than anything nowadays. What gives them the right to judge me? If it was a woman I was holding hands with then I wouldn't get the comments or the looks. What's the difference? Just because I would sooner suck cock than lick pussy, why should I be treated any differently? Thankfully it's not so taboo anymore and most people don't give a shit, but you get the old cunt that thinks it's some disease. I reckon though that these people who have problems with it are because secretly they're gay and they wish they had the balls to come out of the closet." Jasper chuckled and bit his bottom lip slightly.

"You know when the time comes; will you be there with me?" He asked looking slightly embarrassed. I chuckled and brushed his golden curls out of his face.

"Be where, babe?" Was he asking what I thought he was? Surely he wasn't actually thinking about admitting about us at some point?

"When I tell my parents? Will you be there, please?" He looked at me with questioning eyes. "I'm not just saying this, not yet, but when I'm ready, when my head is fully back together, will you be there?" The embarrassing look returned to his gorgeous face.

"Are you being serious? Or are you just telling me things I want to hear?" Shock hit his face; his eyes carried hurt in them.

I wasn't asking to be nasty or unkind, but I needed to know the truth. I was already falling for him and fast, if this was just talk it would crush me. If it never came to light and he was just saying this to make me feel better it would destroy me. Seeing the hurt in his deep blue eyes, the truth was there, no doubt was hiding around his eyes.

"I'm being serious. I want to try, to give us a real shot. I'm not saying I'm willing to be able to go out in public right away, but I don't want us to hide forever." Trying hard not to get my hopes up, I smiled at him. I believed him, but at the same time I wasn't truly sold on what he said.

"I'll be there, whenever you're ready." Jasper moved pulling himself up to a sitting position. I missed his touched straight away.

"Do you feel like I'm messing you around?" I frowned slightly bringing my hands behind my head.

There was so much truth coming out this morning, I worried that if I answered this truthfully it might send him back and everything will change again. This was the trouble with Jasper being my best friend; I was running the risk of losing him altogether. Sighing I sat up resting my wrists on my knees.

"I feel sometimes like this is just experiment for you." Not wanting to look at him right now I closed my eyes and rested my head back against the headboard.

Soft peppered kisses touched every part of my face, lighting fires all over my skin. I shivered and opened my eyes. Jasper's face was inches from mine, his eyes looking back at me so caring, so full of emotion. His fingers ghosted over my face, as he studied it. His fingers touched over my lips and across my jaw, I sucked in a shaky breath and smiled at him.

"You're not an experiment; I wouldn't do that to you." His lips met mine giving me a soft gentle kiss. I'm looking forward to meeting Peter. Hw do you know them?" I chuckled and ran my fingers through my hair.

"Remember that guy that smashed the back end of my car a few years back?" Jasper nodded. "That was Peter. After that, we just kind of bumped into each other all the time, and slowly we became friends. Well I'm going to take a shower before they get here." I gave him a kiss, and headed into the shower.

As the hot water hit my body I thought about what Jasper had been saying this morning. I wanted so badly to believe that he would get to the point of telling his parents about us, that we would be able to be together out and about, but the niggling little thought in the back of my head told me it was just talk. I had seen this happen before, seen one of my friends walk a similar road to this and it just ended in disaster. It was all good and well behind closed door, but in public you would think they didn't know each other. No amount of begging changed it. Love got in the way and he became blinded by it, wanting every second the guy threw at him, took whatever he could. I don't want that. That's not who I am.

I had to believe him, believe what he said. I knew Jasper, knew him well enough to know when he was lying. He didn't seem like he was lying, then again I had never been in this close of a situation with him before, so maybe he was. I just didn't want to get hurt through this, it could be great or it could be a nightmare, it could be the worst thing I have ever done in my life. I was hoping that it wouldn't be. I was hoping that by giving it some time, him speaking to Peter that everything will be worth the risk I was taking, worth the risk we were both taking.

Coming out of the shower I headed into my bedroom expecting to find Jasper long gone. As I pushed my door open I saw Jasper laying on his front his face pushed into my pillow. I smirked wondering just what the hell he was doing.

"Smell nice?" Jasper's head snapped up and looked at me as his face burned bright red making me laugh. "Just what are you doing?" I asked him watching as Jasper fumbled sitting up, trying to hide the redness of his face.

"I was... um... just...." He trailed off suddenly finding his knee interesting.

"You were caught, Jazz, smelling my pillow. I thought only girls did that." Jasper looked mortified as his mouth hung open.

"I'm not a girl. I don't have any traits of being a girl." He defended himself. I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Really? So why are you sniffing my pillow then?" I could see the clocks ticking over inside his mind as he tried to think of an excuse.

Moving to him I buried my face in the nape of his neck and breathed in deeply, taking his spicily scent deep into my lungs before breathing out slowly.

"Pillows are good, but they smell of wash powder, whereas the skin itself doesn't." I murmured in his ear making him shudder. "Unless you want a free show get out my room." He blushed slightly and headed out closing the door behind him.

There was such a large part of me that even though I wanted Jasper, regretted getting involved. I had been following what my heart was telling me and not what my head was. People always tell you to follow your heart, but your heart can lead you to heartache. In an ideal world Jasper would have accepted it all, moved forward and none of this crap would be happening. There wouldn't be any hiding, any need to hold back, but this isn't an idea world. And while we watch crappy love films where the person in question overcomes all there problems in minutes, real life just doesn't work like that, at all.

You have to do what's right for yourself even if that means hurting someone else in the process. I have always done what was right for me, and I've hurt people in the process of it all, but I came out happier for it. Jasper could do the same thing to me, he could choose to do what he believes is right for him. How do I know that I was right for him? I don't. I'm just taking a random guess that maybe, just maybe if lady luck wants to come sit on my shoulder, that Jasper will decide that I was right for him. I don't expect this to be easy for him. I know it's not, and this is where my problem lies. Jasper is a ladies man; he has never had a single problem going through countless amounts of women. In college he started a collection of panties, every woman he slept with, he made sure their panties stayed put, as a token almost. He bragged and counted and got all happy and overexcited when he reached the end of his college course and he had gotten close to a hundred, they didn't count if it was the same girl more than once. How does a man that has so openly worshiped the female form, even read fucking books on giving the best pussy licks, could suddenly decide that actually a woman's body isn't what he wanted after all?

I knew I was good looking, but to Jasper, to a man who has always seen the female sex as something of beauty, as something to be worshipped, I didn't stand a chance. His talk of the new little temp that was just begging for it was in his eye line all the time. How do you compete with that?

Women had never appealed to me. I could appreciate a good looking woman, but it never did anything for me. To be honest I find pregnant women highly beautiful, there is just something about it, something about them carrying and nurturing a child within them, but did I want a woman? No. I craved hard lines and smooth skin over hard muscle. Rough hands running over my body, strong jaw lines and hard cocks, not soft ample skin that covers soft delicate curves, and dripping pussy, the contrast between the two is a turn off. I had tried to put myself in Jasper's shoes, tried to think what it would be like for me, if all I had ever known was men to suddenly find myself attracted and wanting a female, never mind sleeping with one. The thought made me feel sick, and to be honest I would not have a clue what to do with a woman if my life depended on it. I was about as clued up as a fourteen year old geeky virgin running high with hormones when it came to females. I guess these thoughts made me be a little more understanding towards Jasper and his problems right now. I had wondered if he had ever thought that maybe somewhere along the line I had held some torch for him, secretly wanting him and loving him afar and this was like my dream come true. I knew I had never had a single thought about him in that way before now, but did he?

Heading down the stairs after getting changed I flicked through the mail that had arrived. My eyes narrowed catching the sight of a handwritten envelope that was addressed to Jasper. I knew the handwriting, knew who it belonged to, Alice. If she was worming her way back into his life this was over. I knew that Jasper still loved Alice; he had had all these plans with her. It cut him into pieces when they split or should I say when Alice decided she needed to go and find herself, leaving Jasper high and fucking dry. The bitch even had the cheek to say it wasn't him, it was her. What fucking bullshit was all that about?

The thought ran through me to rip it up and throw it away. Jasper wouldn't know that the letter had arrived and if he ever so much as questioned it, there was always it must have got lost in the mail to cover my tracks. But I couldn't do that, that wasn't me, and I would feel guilty, so even though I held the fucking letter from the little bitch who had his heart, I fought back my jealousy and placed it on the table in the kitchen and waited for him to come and read it. Would I ask what was in the letter? Yes, I fucking would.

The coffee machine held zero appeal to me. It took too long for it to start, so I made do with the kettle. Pulling the milk out of the fridge I turned to see Jasper walking into the kitchen, his hair still wet, making his golden curls longer. It was surprising just how long his hair was when it was wet. He flashed me a smile rubbing the back of his neck. As he saw the letter on the table the colour drained from his face as he picked it up. I watched as he frowned staring at the letter, part of me wanted to snatch it out of his hands as the jealousy raged in me. I didn't compete well, competitions for someone's affection never really worked well for me. I didn't believe in competing for someone's love or affection. If they weren't willing to give it freely without it being held as some sort of prize then it wasn't worth having.

Placing the cup to my mouth and pulling my head slightly down I narrowed my eyes as I watched him undo the letter from his love. Bitch!

He knew I knew it was there, he knew I placed it there, he knew I knew it was from her, but yet he hadn't looked at me since he saw it there waiting for him. I was a jealous person, I didn't like anyone moving in on what I classed as mine and I classed Jasper as mine now, early fucking days or not. We had gotten together and that made him now mine, despite the fact that she still held his heart. I gritted my teeth, tightening my jaw that much it hurt as he read through the letter, his eyes glossed over more than once. He took in a shaky breath as he folded the letter up and placed it back inside the envelop.

"Jazz?" I forced my voice to sound somewhat pleasant even though inside I was raging over that fucking letter turning up right fucking now and fucking everything up. He turned his head towards me and gave me a weak smile.

"It was Alice, but you already knew that." Yeah, I bloody did, start fucking talking Jasper before I lose it.

"And?" Anymore than one word answers and I was likely to explode at him.

"She... um....she wonders how I am, and asked if I've met anyone else. She asked me to call her sometime to talk. She says she needs to tell me something that she can't discuss with over a letter." She's fucking with you, seeing how much of a hold she has; if it was anything important the bitch would be here.

"Are you?" Well done, you managed all of two words and didn't blow your lid.

"No." He shook his head and held his hand out to me. Inwardly I smiled, one to me, bitch. "I still care about her, but I want you. It's too late for this now. It's been over two months since she left." I smiled weakly at him, my fears still not fully gone. His fingers laced through mine, the warm buzz flowed through us as we touched. He stood up and came to me, his body flushed against mine.

"I know I haven't really done much to make you believe me, but I want you. I know that, I'm still accepting it." His lips met mine with no hesitation moving wonderfully together. Jasper moaned into the kiss as my fingers found themselves in his wet hair pulling him closer to me and deepening the kiss. How had he been my friend for all these years and only now had I noticed just how fucking gorgeous he actually is? Jasper pulled back breaking the kiss resting his forehead against mine smiling.

"Where's the sudden change come from?" I whispered out as his breath fanned my face over and over again, the warmth covering me like a blanket. Could I actually stay like this and never move?

"I did a lot of thinking last night, about us, about what I wanted. As scary as it is, I'm going to do this, if you can put up with me long enough." I smirked at him.

"I think I should be able to put up with you. You want to come to the club with me tonight for a while? Try the whole being out together but not publically again?" He bit his lip and thought for a minute. "You could try your hand at bar work while you're there; everyone will just think you're helping me out."

"Would that be an excuse for you to just check my ass out?" I chuckled as he pulled a sexy smirk at me.

"Fuck yes, so are you going to come? I don't really want to end our time together, but I have to go in tonight." I could see the thoughts run through his mind as he thought about everything, the emotions on his face gave nothing away.

"All right, I'll come, but I need an early night. I have work tomorrow." He smiled and kissed me once more as the doorbell went. "Is that them?" He asked pulling back from me. I missed his warmth right away. I wanted to pull him back and forget all about the fucking doorbell ringing, but I knew Jasper needed to talk to someone who has been through this.

"That will be them." I smiled as nerves washed over Jasper's face. "Don't look so worried, they're nice people, Jazz." He half smiled as I went to answer the door.

Opening the door I could hear them bickering, I smirked seeing Peter frown slightly as Garrett smiled.

"Are you two bickering again?" I asked as I let them in. Peter rolled his eyes at me and shot a look at Garrett.

"Us? No. Garrett just needs to learn how to drive.... again." I chuckled as Garrett muttered something under his breath about Peter's driving.

Leading them into the kitchen I saw Jasper leaning up against the side, his elbows resting on the countertop behind him, a smirk on his face. Fuck, I wanted him there and fucking then!

"Garrett, Peter, this is Jasper." Jasper smiled and half waved at them, before pushing himself off the side and shaking their hands.

"So this is the one who had sent you into a spin then?" Garrett whispered in my ear. I simply nodded before moving and flicking the kettle back on.

"How long have you been together?" Jasper asked which surprised me slightly. I wasn't expecting Jasper to start asking them any questions yet. I knew Jasper never failed with confidence, but he was out of his comfort zone.

"Almost three years, though sometimes it seems longer." Garrett chuckled out; I watched as Peter eyed Jasper up, working him out. Garrett kept his eyes flickering between me and Jasper.

"So um... Peter, can we talk? Alone?" Jasper asked. Peter looked a little surprised and nodded getting up from the table and following Jasper into the living room. Once the door closed Garrett turned and looked at me.

"Sucks, doesn't it?" He asked as I sat down. I rested my head in my hands scratching my scalp

"Fuck, it's harder than I thought it would be." I mumbled out pulling my hands away and picking up my mug, Garrett smiled.

"You'll do all right, he's fallen, or falling, your eyes give you two away. He shot you a quick look before he left the room; his eyes are on the prize. He's just confused with everything going on. Pete will straighten him out, just you watch. Want my honest opinion?" He asked taking a sip of coffee. I nodded as I sat back.

"You have nothing to worry about, it won't be an easy ride, but it will be worth it in the end. I'm willing to bet money on it." He smirked like the fucking know-it-all that he is. I trusted Garrett's opinion, only time would tell if he is right.

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**_So did we all like being inside Edward's head? Can we say jealous? Much? _**

**_Well my lovelys as you can guess the next chapter will be Jasper talking to Peter, I'm going to enjoy writing that, it will give me something to think about today while I'm cutting hair._**

**_Speaking of cutting hair I have the next chapter for It's Fate ready and waiting to go up, I know some of you are dying for it, so tonight it will be up. Aren't I good to you all, huh? Two updates in one day, now surely that deserves some reviews? Begging much? hahah_**

**_Please hit the review button, reviews are like a jealous and possive Edward, becuase we all know deep down wouldn't mind Edward getting possive with us._**

**_Jen x_**


	7. Chapter 7

_**AN/ Thank you for all the wonderful reviews I have gotten, I will get round to replying to them all, I do read every single one I get, my emails come through to my Blackberry and I love hearing it go off, does that make me sound sad?**_

**_In case you didn't know, I updated It's Fate last night, I know some of you are reading it and where dying to get your hands on the next chapter, if you haven't had a look at it then please do._**

**_Again thank you to my wonderful Beta, who thanks to my begging updated her story last night. Come on Amy I want the next the next chapter up already! Yeah I hate waiting._**

**_Okay here is chapter 7, Jasper sits and talks with Peter, this won't be the last time we see them._**

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_**JPOV**_

The letter niggled in the back of my mind. It burned in the back of my pocket. It called silently to me, screaming at me to do it. All I had to do was open it up and look at the number, pick up my phone and dial the number. It wasn't the hardest task in the world. Millions upon millions of people called people day after day, hour after hour, why should this be any different from any other phone call I have ever made? My first thought had been not to call, it was the answer I had given Edward and when I gave it to him I meant it. Every last word of it, but now, with it in my mind I wasn't too sure. Every single word I had said to Edward this morning I meant. I wanted to try, I wanted us. I wanted him. I knew that, but now this landed on my doorstep and everything changed.

Her letter had made me question again if I was doing the right thing by trying this with Edward. Before she left Alice was the safe bet, I knew how to please her. There were no funny looks or horrid comments when we were out and about. Everything with her was as the world should be, or as the world thinks the world should be.

I had bled over her. I cried over her. I broke my heart over her and now she wants me to call her? Part of me wanted to call and find out what she had to say. The nice side of me wanted to hear her out, give her a chance to say whatever it was she needed to, but the other side of me told me to rip it up and throw it away. There was no point in lying, no point in denying it, I still cared for Alice. I had loved her, we were to get married, you don't just forget all about them and the time you shared together so fast. If the letter had arrived a month ago I would have been on the phone by now calling her, wanting to talk to her, to hear her voice. Now part of me just wishes she hadn't sent the letter, it only added to my confusion.

Edward was now part of my life romantically I guess you could say. I wanted to do what was right by him, not mess him around. I thought so much last night about my actions over the last few days, how I acted in the car park, how I acted under the cover of darkness, I was messing him around. That wasn't what I wanted. Although this may all be so new to me, I did want him. My body reacted to his touch, the way his eyes could smoulder me into burning rubble if I stared into them for too long, how I felt all giddy and joyful when his lips touched mine. The sparks flew off me when we touched leaving a trail of goose bumps and fire burning deep into me. The buzz was like nothing I had ever felt before. I knew only he could make me feel that, he had that power to turn me into goo on the floor.

My mind had over thought everything, over thought the whole aspect of a relationship with a man, what it would actually mean for me to be with Edward. The looks we may get, the remarks we may hear, how everything between us would be different, so different. Was I falling for him? I guess I was. Somehow, someway, I was falling for my best friend, unable to stop it from happening. My mind threw together pictures of us being happy and in love, being able to just be and not having anything bother us, but that was what my own little mind had created, the reality of it was so different. I was scared, scared shitless of what it would be like to be out with him like that, to go out in public holding his hand, how people would look at us and what they would think of us.

I didn't want to hurt Edward by dragging my feet or acting the way I had been doing. I knew I was hurting him, hurting him more then he would let on. I guess this was why I had dragged Peter off the moment they arrived. I needed to know that everything would be fine if I stepped onto this ride. To me this is what it felt like, like one of those really high roller-coasters you go on, that drops you down from a high height, that loops and flips at high speed. You stand watching it, waiting to go on, excited that you're about to go on it, only to shit yourself the moment your ass touches the seat. That was the point; you either bailed or went on the ride of your life. This was the same to me. I wanted him, but I was scared to have him, scared that I may just fall off and be left in the unknown. The unknown of if this didn't work out then what would all this mean for me? Always had a straight relationship, but now finds himself having had a gay relationship wondering just where he now was. It was hardly the top list of great things to say to a new partner, was it?

Peter sat across from me drinking his coffee his eyes staring into me, watching me, watching every little move I made. He had made no attempt to speak to me yet, but then again neither had I. We had both been just waiting and I had been wasting time.

"You know all about what has happened, so I won't bother you with you the details. What am I meant to do? You've been here, how did you go from safe to dangerous?" I asked placing my coffee mug on the table. I hadn't meant to sound so off, so abrupt to him. It just kind of came out like that. Peter smirked slightly and drummed his fingers on the edge of the chair arm.

"For one, I wouldn't call Garrett dangerous. A pain sometimes, but his bark is worse than his bite. Jasper, I can't tell you what to do, you have to make your own choice there. You see the choice I made, but I had to make it, no one else." He shifted slightly leaning forward and looking at me.

"You know Edward is a good guy, and I would hate to see you fuck him around. I'm not saying you're about to, but from what I have seen you're in the balance, flicking between him and someone else? That's my guess, of course you don't have to tell me if I'm right, but since you left the kitchen you're whole being has changed. So I'm asking who were you thinking about when we first sat down?" I blinked and looked at him. Surely he hadn't been doing all this working out while I had been sitting here, had he?

"Alice...... my ex, she just got in touch today with me through a letter." I mumbled out, watching as Peter just nodded slightly.

"Before Garrett there was Charlotte, she and I were always together. It was good, great even. We got on well, we laughed and joked and fell in love, but there was something that was missing, something that I didn't know until I met Garrett. Then I became torn, much like you are now. Jasper, I had been with men before, never really open about it. It wasn't something I wanted to shout about. I had no idea what sort of a life I would lead with a man. Charlotte was safe. Being with her was what is considered to be normal. We are put on this earth to make life, that's it. That's the short of it all. We are not put here to work, or earn money, or even rule, we are put here to do one thing and that is to keep the human race going. Two men or two women stop that, or slow it down depending on your view. For life to continue you need a man and a woman, it doesn't add up without that." He sipped his coffee and smiled looking at me the whole time.

"Being with Garrett is what some people would call the work of the devil, again depending on what your view is on it. Being with Garrett goes against what we are here to do, but being with Garrett has given me the wonderful gift of true love, true undented, perfect, blissful never ending love. Your soul mate knows you better than anyone, they read you better than anyone, and they make you feel things that no one has ever been able to make you feel before. This is what the world forgets. This is why we receive the looks we do, why people are so backwards and won't understand. The world forgets that while we are here to make more humans, we are here to fall in love. It's one of life's wonderful, magical gifts, which changes you as a person, for the better I might add."

"I could have stayed with Charlotte and gotten married and had a few little me's running around and been happy, but missing something. Or I could have gone with Garrett, found the meaning of true love and overcome all the hurdles that life wants to give you together. You have this in front of you, Alice or Edward, whom you know and like, against whom you know and love. The first time we were out together and we made it known I was scared, shitting it, in fact. My palms were sweaty and I thought for sure I was going to have some sort of heart attack or arrest. In the middle of a shopping centre I kissed him. We were fighting over something or other and Garrett was sulking with me. I wanted to take the sulk off, take away the hurt look in his eyes so I kissed him right there and then. I felt sick with nerves, but you know the moment my lips met his everything disappeared. No one else was there, just me and him. The world outside had disappeared from us." He finished his speech and looked at me as I sat there with my mouth open like a gold fish.

"How... how did you overcome it?" I asked as he chuckled at me and sat back.

"I just did. The first time is the hardest, hearing names and remarks being thrown at us used to send me into some sort of breakdown where I would want the world to swallow me whole. Garrett never so much as raised an eyebrow, he stuck by me even if I wanted to go home after ten minutes of being out, and Edward will do the same. The more you do it the easier it gets until you just forget all about it and it just becomes second nature. Now I don't care, but it took time and trying to get there." I thought about his words, his answer. Would Edward actually be happy with short little stunts like that?

"Everyone looking and staring… I don't know if I can do that, if I could find the battle in me to hold his hand. I mean I want too, but I don't know if I can." Bringing my knee up and under my chin I bit my thumbnail.

"Jasper, Edward isn't expecting you to start singing and dancing that you're with him, so you don't need to worry about doing everything so open just yet, but try little things, like placing your hand on his arm when you're talking together in public. No one will think much of it and it will help you." He said finishing off his coffee before looking at his hands for a second then at me.

"Jasper, I know you want answers. I can only tell you what I know and what I did, but if Edward gives that feeling that no one else does then go for it, you will regret if you don't. And as far as the ex goes, forget all about her. Edward will be far more important to you than she ever was." He stood up and headed towards the door. "I think we should go and see what they're up too." I stayed put as he walked off. I heard Peter speak to both Edward and Garrett.

Peter had taken the big risk and gone with Garrett instead of the safe choice being Charlotte. I guess I could do slow little baby steps, nothing too serious to begin with, just little small things and see how I feel. Slowly pushing myself up to doing something more until I was completely comfortable being with Edward out and about. Maybe I should call Alice to have the closure in my life, closure of that other part. Maybe seeing her would sort out what I was meant to do, play it safe or take a risk?

I headed into the kitchen seeing Edward laughing with his friends. I smirked and leant against the doorframe. His eyes met mine and he flashed me a wink. I wanted to go over to him, touch him and kiss him. It wasn't as though Peter and Garrett didn't know that we were sort of seeing each other. They were gay, so it wasn't as though I would get any weird looks if I did, but then again they would be the first people that would see Edward and me together that way. As much as I wanted to I was torn. I felt silly for kissing him in front of people, almost as though I had never kissed anyone before.

His eyes stayed locked on me as I walked to the table and sat down next to him. The hair all over my body suddenly stood up on end as I was hit with electricity that just radiated off him and was directed solely towards me. He smiled softly at me, but made no attempt to touch me or kiss me. He was sticking to his word and letting me make the move. Sucking in a breath I laid my hand on top of his as tiny bolts of electricity shot through my skin. He smiled warmly at me and turned his hand over, his palm facing up so our fingers could lock together. I wondered if he was as proud as I was over my little effect. Our hands were under the table so they couldn't see, but it was a start, wasn't it?

Peter and Garrett soon left claiming they had Christmas shopping to do, leaving Edward and I alone for a couple of hours before he and I went off to the club. I was looking forward to working in there tonight, trying my hand out at bar work. You never know, I could be really good at it and I might change my career, then again maybe not.

As Edward walked back into the kitchen he beamed at me, but his face soon fell as he saw the letter from Alice in my hand.

"Watch." Was all I said as I tore it up and threw it in the bin. If I was going to try I needed to rid all this shit. I walked back over to him and stood just in front of him, mere inches away from his face. I studied his face before leaning in and kissing him. "I want this." I whispered breaking away from the kiss. He smiled at me and laced his fingers through mine.

"I'm proud of you for doing that." He nodded towards the bin. "Also for holding my hand when Peter and Garrett were here."

*********

The club was packed as I sat on the edge of a bar stool drinking my beer and people watching. Edward was working the bar, laughing and joking with the bar staff and the customers. He fit in so easily. The woman he served drooled buckets over him, you could have filled a swimming pool with the amount of drool these women were letting go. Not one single one of them clocked that his eyes flicked back to me all the time. Not one clocked that his eyes were falling all the time on a man, and not one clocked that he was gay.

There were some hot ass chicks in the club that kept checking me out. _Oh yes, baby, you know you want me. _I smirked slightly giving one woman a slow go over with my eyes, teasing slightly and then turning my attention to Edward. He wore all black tonight, his black T-shirt was hugging across his pecs and the sleeves were gripping against his biceps as his muscles flexed. He looked hot, hotter than the woman did. He caught me checking him out and winked at me before walking over.

"Come get behind the bar, Jazz. Let me see you work." He whispered in my ear. I grinned. This bar shit looked easy. I reckoned I could spin bottles in my hand and pull off some fancy trick. Fuck, it looked easy in the films.

"I'm keeping my tips and I want paying for this." Leaning back towards him, it was nice being this close to him and everyone just thinking we were doing this just so we could hear each other over the noise of the music; which we were, but there was something else there as well.

"Let's see what you got first." He flipped the lip on the side of the bar giving me entrance.

Edward told me where everything was and then leant against the back wall at the side watching me as I served the customers. I soon started to relax and enjoy it, getting a little bold and flicking bottles around like I was some bad ass. I chatted to the woman that came all the time aware that Edward was watching every single move I made.

Deciding that I was going to try and be like some guy who could juggle the spirit bottles I picked up two almost full bottles of some crap that you only ever order when you're completely wankered. I clocked Edward narrow his eyes at me and shake his head, but the cockiness in me had taken over. I was getting big headed as I threw a bottle up, the idea being was that it was meant to go over my head and slide down my back so I could catch it, what happened wasn't that.

The bottle went up and instead of going over my head hit the low ceiling and smashed, covering me and the floor in some blue stuff and glass. I felt his heat before I heard him standing behind me breathing down my neck.

"My office, now." His tone was so short and sharp at me, it almost turned me on, and laughing like an idiot I left the bar and made my way through the crowded club towards his office.

By the time I got there I was crying with laughter. My Tom Cruise act had fallen flat on its face. I thought I looked pretty good at it until the bottle smashed. I even got a few girls shouting some other things I can throw. The door opened to the office and Edward stood there smirking at me.

"I don't think bar work is your thing, Jazz. The whole smashing bottles would cost me way too much." He smirked making his way towards me, and flicking the bits of glass that were still in my hair. "You okay?" He held the bottom of my chin giving me the once over with his eyes.

"Yeah, sorry, I guess I owe you a bottle. How do you want me to repay you?" He closed his eyes biting his bottom lip.

"You don't want to know the answer to that right now." He hissed out before capturing my lips with his. I moaned into the kiss as my fingers found there way into his hair pulling him closer to me. He sucked and gently nibbled on my tongue as it darted into his mouth exploring every inch of it. He pulled me even closer to him and I could feel his hard cock pressing against mine. He pulled back needing air. Breathing hard he smiled softly at me and rested his head against mine.

"Does this repayment that you won't tell me have something to do with this desk?" I asked running my fingers along it, my voice almost purring at him. He nodded his head as his eyes filled with lust. I moved closer to him and walked behind him with my cockiness in full force.

"Bent over it, while you fuck me hard with that great big cock of yours." Edward groaned, turning sharply and grabbing me. Before I knew it Edward had me bent over the desk, his hard cock pressed into my ass.

"Don't tempt me, Jazz; honestly, don't fucking tempt me." Teasing him I pushed my ass back against his cock making him hiss. His fingers gripped into my hips tightly. "Go home, Jazz." He let go of me. I turned and sat on the edge of his desk and hooked my thumbs through his jean belt loops and pulled him closer to me.

"I'm going, but." I kissed his lips. "I wouldn't mind me and you getting a little closer." Edward smiled at me and met my lips again.

"Soon, babe, now go home. Don't take this the wrong way, but the covered in alcohol smell does smell awful on you. You don't smell like my Jazz." His face froze as he realised what he had just said.

He called me his, my Jazz. This strange feeling washed over me, not like the feeling I had gotten before. It didn't freak me out or make me feel scared, or even doubt what I was doing, it was almost like I felt loved, but not love that I felt before, but a different sort of love, like this was real and true, pure even. I knew we weren't in love yet, but we were heading that way. His words sent a wonderful feeling of warmth through me making me smile as I looked at him. He looked as if he had just been caught out, like a deer in the headlights.

"Jazz, sorry, I... I ...." I placed my finger on his lips to stop him from rambling. I knew he was now worried that he had freaked me, and after the way I had acted over the last few days I couldn't argue his reasoning, worried that maybe he might have just undone the slow work I had made.

"It's okay, I liked it, babe." His eyes looked uncertain for a moment until I smiled. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow night then?" I asked jumping off the desk and pulling my car keys out my pocket.

"Yeah, I don't know if I'll be here until closing or not, so it's more than likely it will be tomorrow night." I felt a little disheartened that I wouldn't get to see him until tomorrow night. It seemed like a long time to go without seeing him.

Kissing him on his soft lips just once before smiling at him and leaving his office I closed the door then looked over my shoulder catching a slight smirk off his face. I span the keys around my finger wondering about everything that was happening as I made my way to the car. I thought about what Peter had told me, about the fear of being open and out with Edward would never go until I actually started to do it. It wasn't something that would go away unless I worked at it and the only way I could work at it was if I came out in public with him. My mind was still confused about everything, but it was slowly figuring things out. I just had to take that risk, had to find the strength to do that.

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**_Who wanted them to have humps on the desk? Hands up, (Puts hand up)._**

**_Do you see them exploding in a frenzied fit of lus and passion? I do, hehehe, I can't wait till we get there!_**

**_Well my lovely readers please hit the review button for me and send me some love and we may just get some love between the two of them. Jen x_**


	8. Chapter 8

_**AN/ Thank you for all the reviews for the last chapter, glad your liking it and I know I was mean stopping them from having some humps on the desk, I will go back to the desk later on becuase you all have dirty minds like me :)**_

**_I have a nice little something in this chapter to tease you all, hope you like it._**

**_Here's chapter 8!_**

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_**JPOV**_

Have you ever woken up and wanted to change everything in that one day? Rewrite history; change your life and all that crap? That's just how I felt this morning when I woke up in Edward's bed.

I hadn't meant to fall asleep in here, hadn't meant to wake up next to his warm body, but I did. I crawled into his room when I got home wanting to be near him. His scent was laced all over the room. It gave me comfort lying on his bed breathing in the scent that covered his pillows. It relaxed me that much that I fell asleep. I sort of remember him waking me up and asking me why I was here. My mumbled sleepy reply was for him to just get in bed and sleep next to me. He had gotten into bed giving me a soft kiss and rolling over on to his side, where he had stayed all night. I woke up curled into his back, my fingers touching his T-shirt that covered the top half of his body. I wondered why he had chosen to sleep like that. I had never known Edward to sleep like that. All the times I had seen him get up he only ever had boxers on. I guess he didn't want to freak me out when I woke up.

My morning wood was pushed into his ass as I was curled so tightly into him. I thought about moving but went against it. I liked this, liked being curled so tightly next to him, touching him like this. This was what I wanted. This was what my body needed, what my life needed. I wanted everything to change right fucking now. I wanted the confusion that still lingered in my mind to disappear. I wanted the fear of being seen out in public with him to go. I wanted to have everything with this man. I wanted everything to be perfect.

Eve though I knew I wanted this, and being so close to him only gave me the strength I needed to do it, the thought lingered that when I leave for work I will be on my own. The thought lingered that my mind will start to think about everything and over think it, leaving me with a headache. Would Edward start to wonder about us when I was at work? Knowing full well that I over think everything and worry about the lot until it drives me past being insane. My mind still brought up the same thing over and over again. I found no other man attractive, found women fucking hot, but found Edward even hotter. So what made Edward so special that suddenly my body wanted him? I am beginning to think I will never truly figure it out and that it will remain one of life's little mysteries, like where that sock will go after putting a load in the washer? It goes in but you never see it again, it just disappears off the face of the earth, and gets filed under life's little mysteries.

I needed to move and get up, but I didn't want to. Hearing his shallow breathing, all even and perfect, feeling his ass pressed against my rock hard cock was making the thought of getting out even less appealing to me as I rocked my hips slowly creating more friction. I shouldn't have done that. I really shouldn't have done it or continued to do it. My mind filled with lust and need and pushed myself that little bit hard against him, wanting even more friction. I moaned gently unable to stop myself from making a noise. I didn't want to wake him, but I needed something, something more than what I was getting right now. As I sucked in a shaky breath my fingers moved off his hip and across the front of his waistband, touching a soft patch of hair on his stomach Edward moaned softly and squirmed slightly. Kissing his neck my fingers played around the top of his waistband feeling the happy trail of short hair running south where I wanted to put my hand, but didn't have the bottle too. I had never touched another man, I was a little unsure of what to do.

Fuck yeah, I had wanked myself off countless times, during my teenage years I used to try and beat yesterdays score by knocking off more. I knew what I liked, but I didn't know what another man liked, or more to the point I didn't know what Edward liked. It hadn't been a topic we had ever discussed in all the years of knowing each other.

"Stop teasing Jazz and just do it." His sleep-filled voice shocked me back to what I was doing. Had I really been that caught up in my thoughts that I didn't hear his breathing pattern change? He rolled onto his back giving me better access, but my hand had just frozen on the top of his waistband, my fingertips juts slightly under the rim.

"I don't know what to do." I pointed out feeling stupid for not knowing. Fuck, why was this so fucking hard? His head tilted and he kissed my lips, his soft lips on mine reassuring me that everything was fine. He pulled away and looked at me with lust-filled eyes.

"Do what you like, Jazz." He murmured into my ear his breath hitting my neck and making me shiver. "Will this make it easier?" He asked as his hand rested on top of mine. I nodded, but didn't move my hand. "You don't have to." He said in a lust-filled whisper.

"I want to." I whispered out sucking in a shaky breath and pushing my hand under the waistband of his boxers without his. Edward moaned as my hand lay on his rock hard cock.

Surprisingly I found his soft silky skin pulled over his hard as steel member amazingly good in my hand, like it was designed to fit there. Gripping his hard shaft I ran my thumb over the tip pushing the pre-cum around and using it as natural lube. Edward's hips bucked under my hand, thrusting his cock into my palm. His breathing was hard and ragged as I slowly pumped his member.

"Jasper." My name fell breathlessly from his lips as I gave him pleasure. I kissed his neck running my tongue ball over his skin, he shuddered and writhed, panting and moaning as I increased my pace. My own cock was pushing hard against my boxers begging for its own release.

"Stop." Edward cried out in a pleasure filled voice as he gripped my hand and stilled my movements. I wondered if I had done something wrong. From the moans and groans I was getting from him I was sure that I was doing this right, so why the sudden stop?

I looked at him with questioning eyes wanting to know why he had told me to stop; did he not want me to do this? To give him pleasure? I wanted to, wanted to make him feel good and I wanted us to be more physical with each other, was that his problem? Was he worried that all I wanted was just sex? It wasn't the case. Fuck, I could go out and pick up a woman if I just wanted sex, the new temp would be an ideal choice, but I didn't want just sex. Yeah, I wanted it, wanted release, but that wasn't all I wanted.

"Why?" I asked feeling really uneasy now that he had stopped me.

"Because I want to please you at the same time." I smiled feeling relief wash over me. "Remove the boxers Jazz and sit up." Complying with what he asked I pulled them down and off and sat up watching as Edward did the same and leant over to the drawer pulling out a bottle of lube. He poured some into his palm and passed me the bottle.

He warmed his hand up and moved closer to me. My eyes looked down at his long thick member and my mouth filled with water. I swallowed the water back and leant forward to kiss him. Every single tiny inch of me was overexcited, burning with desire and need. I gasped and moaned into the kiss as I felt his hand grip my throbbing cock. Our tongues lashed together as we both stroked each other off, matching the same pace as the other one. Our lips broke apart as we sucked in hard lung-fulls of air. Breathing hard as we both gasped and moaned, feeling the coil spring tighten in my stomach I let out a cry as my body went into an overload of pleasure.

"I.... I.... fuck." I cried out, screaming in pleasure as I shot my load between us as I came hard. Edward continued to pump me, milking me for all I had, riding out the last waves of my orgasm. A soft cry left Edward's lips as his head rolled back coming moments after me, his hot cum covering my hand. I removed my T-shirt and wiped my hand then used it to clean us both up.

I could get used to this sort of wake up in the morning. I watched as Edward lay back down, his eyes closed catching his breath. When did he remove his T-shirt? My eyes cast over his naked form. He was hot, fucking gorgeous, with his strong build, broad shoulders and well defined muscles. He was without a doubt a fucking magnificent creature that had been carved by the fucking gods.

"You're fucking gorgeous." I blurted out making him chuckle. Those were the very same words I had used which started all of this. That drunken night had set the ball rolling, and caused a chain reaction that continued to this point and past it. Where was the end of it all? Would the end make me happy? Would it make me happy that I had this unconditional love that every single person in the whole world looks for? Or would I end up unhappy because I made the wrong choices and lost my best friend? The future didn't look fucking bright. It didn't look great. Everything was in the balance, flicking one way and the next while I decided what I really and truly wanted.

Looking at him tucked back in bed his eyes looked at me so soft and gentle. I saw Edward's true beauty; saw him for what he really was. He had been carved and created by some god, he was too perfect, stunning even. There wasn't much doubt that if Edward had been straight there would have been a line of women waiting for him. There was pretty much a line of men. I had noticed the looks he would get whenever we entered a gay club. Often I would find myself alone while he had taken off somewhere with a guy only to return a few hours later a smug smile on his face. Was Edward a player of the male world? Not as far as I could tell, from what I knew he didn't tend to sleep around. Yeah, he picked guys up, but it didn't happen all the time. It wasn't as though he had a rep like I had. Fuck, with the women I had been through I was surprised that I had never caught anything. Although I always used something, you just never know.

"You're unbelievably sexy, Jazz. You're enough to give me wet dreams any day of the week." He looked at me and smiled breathtakingly at me. My heart thumped a little harder at his words. "What were you thinking about, just then?" He asked turning onto his side and looking at me while I sat completely naked as the day I was born on top of the covers.

"You, the amount of men you have been with." Edward laughed and shook his head at me as if he didn't believe me. "I'm serious; it's what I was thinking. I know it's nowhere near the amount of women I have had." He nodded his head chuckling slightly at me.

"No, it's not. I don't really keep count, but I reckon about fifteen. One night stands aren't really my thing. I hate the after effect. They want to see you again, or you them. It's just not me really." He smiled resting his head on his elbow.

"Why? I know you're good looking, so why hasn't there been more?" The clocked ticked on. I knew I was running out of time before I ended up making myself late.

"Self-respect I guess, and love. It's what I'm looking for, someone to spend my life with and maybe have a family with." His answer caught me off guard. Edward had never showed any signs of wanting children so to hear him say this almost floored me.

"You want children?" I asked and watched as he nodded his head.

"I love kids, Jazz, and I would love to have one of my own one day if am lucky enough. Jasper, just because I'm gay that doesn't mean I don't want children. It's just not as simple as fucking for me to have them, but with any luck I might be blessed enough to fall in love with a man who wants what I want and we're able to have children." Hanging my mouth open like some kind of freak Edward chuckled at me.

"You really want them?" I asked and watched as he rolled his eyes at me and nodded. He had just told me and yet I questioned it. "How would that work?" I asked watching as he sat up in bed.

"An egg donor and a surrogate, personally I think if you're a gay couple doing this then you should do it twice so you both get to be the biological father to a child, others disagree. Some think that only one of you should do it, but I don't think it's fair." He looked at me and raised his eyebrow. "What's with the baby questions, Jazz?" I let out a sigh and sucked in a breath before looking at him and laying on my front. I clocked that his eyes fell on my ass.

"Because I want them." I looked at the bedspread playing with the edge of it. "If me and you worked out and we got to that point, would you want children with me?" Embarrassment flushed my face, had I really just asked him that? His fingers ran through my hair and down my jaw to under my chin lifting it up to look at him.

"Honestly my answer would be yes if we ever got to that point. I would like to think I would have married you before then though." He chuckled and looked at me. "Jazz, this sort of thing is miles away, if we even get there. You know what I want one day and I do you, so we both know we're on the same page, but let's stop this talk, we're not even fucking yet. How about we just take one step at a time, okay?" He was right. I was thinking so far ahead and yet I hadn't managed to actually be seen in public with him yet.

"I need to get up and go to work." I leant forward and captured his lips with mine, the feeling of stubble on my chin felt wonderful. After being so used to the feel of smooth skin when I kissed someone I was sure this feeling would freak me out, but it didn't.

"Have fun." He whispered against my lips before lying back down. I pulled myself up and left his room giving him a little smile as I left.

After showering and changing I left the house, leaving Edward sleeping in bed. I had made a lot of changes this weekend, maybe a lot of choices concerning my choice in life. I got that things would be different between us if we were together, that the relationship I would have with him would be different to any relationship I had ever had. For one, it would be with another man and not a woman, but there was just something in the way he touched me that sent me flying over the edge into a sea of electricity that set my skin alight like nothing I have ever felt before, an amazing feeling that just makes me feel complete.

The question of sex ran through my mind. We had already fucked and Edward had told me he doesn't bottom, so that would mean that I would forever be bottom for him. The thought really didn't bother me that much as I had already done it once and had the best orgasm of my life from it, but it would be something I would like to change. I wouldn't mind fucking him instead. I knew very little about the way gay men went about this sort of thing, did they just pick one and that's it, no moving from that spot, or would they be open to change? To switch? I always kind of thought that if they were in a relationship they would switch round, but listening to him tell me that he won't do that questioned what I thought. It just made sense to me for them to switch, wouldn't that make it more equal in a relationship? This was something that I would have to talk to Edward about, see if he would be up to switching with me.

Entering the office my eyes caught sight of Maria, who was standing rather close to my office door waiting for me. How did I know she was waiting for me? Because the shit-eating grin told me so. I smiled and unlocked my door keeping it open as I walked in knowing Maria would be following in within seconds. As if on cue I heard the door click as it closed.

"Spill Hale, I've done nothing but think about you all weekend wondering how your date went with Edward and if you have made any sort of decision yet?" She sat down on the chair in front of my desk and looked at me.

"Hell, the date was a disaster really, but yesterday I made some decisions, and I'm slowly getting my head around it." I told her honestly as I sat down and booted up the PC. Maria smiled at me.

"You know, Jazz, if you and Edward make a go of this you have my full support, no matter what anyone says. You're real friends will stick by you and support you and it won't matter to them." Opening my emails I looked at her. She was right. No matter what my real friends wouldn't care if I was suddenly dating a guy, they wouldn't care, I would still be me.

That's what I thought when Edward came out. He hadn't suddenly changed. He was still the same person he had always been. He lost a few friends, but no one that really mattered to him. The ones that mattered to him and cared about him stayed put and stuck by him. Would that be the same for me? I hoped so.

"You got plans for Christmas? And more importantly what are you buying Edward?" Maria asked twirling a strand of hair around her fingers.

"My parents, Edward is at his. I guess I'll see Edward at some point as our parents don't live that far away from each other, and should I buy him something for Christmas? Would he buy me something?" This hadn't crossed my mind. We never bothered buying each other anything before, but now we were sort of together would the gift thing happen now?

"Well, would you buy a girlfriend a gift at Christmas?" She asked as though it was a stupid question. I nodded at her. "Well, you should buy your boyfriend a gift." I cringed at the word 'boyfriend'. Maria caught my cringe and narrowed her eyes at me.

"Jazz, tell me that cringe wasn't because I used the word boyfriend?" I nodded, I wasn't comfortable calling him that, or him calling me that. It sounded too gay for me.

"Jasper Hale, Edward is your boyfriend." She almost screamed at me, my faced burned red. Thank heavens the door was shut. "You need to accept it because that is what he is. It's just a word, Jasper. Just think you could actually marry him, would you hate having to use the word husband as well?" Fuck off, Maria. This was hard enough for me without you giving me this sort of lecture!

"Maria, please." I pleaded having fallen on deaf ears. Maria looked far from happy now.

"Jazz, I like to think I'm one of your closest friends, that we're close, so please don't take this the wrong way, but get your head out of your ass. Do not be ashamed that Edward is your boyfriend; do you think he is ashamed? You'll hurt his feelings if you carry this on." She snapped making me snort at her.

"For your information we have already had this chat and he was fine with it, so I'm not hurting his feelings by not acknowledging him as my boyfriend." Put that in your pipe and smoke it Mrs. I know it all! Smugness overcame me with the sheer thought that he and I had already spoken about this.

"And you believe him?" I nodded my head as the smugness started to run out, watching Maria laugh was helping that. "You fool, Jazz, of course it hurt his feelings that you wouldn't be happy calling him that. He only told you he didn't mind to save your feelings and stop you from feeling uncomfortable. How would you feel if a girl you were dating didn't want to call you her boyfriend?" My face fell as I took in her words. I wouldn't like it and I would wonder if they were ashamed of me. God, did I make Edward feel that way?

"I wouldn't like it." I mumbled out watching as she crossed her arms over her chest and looked smug. It was her turn now and she had backed me well and truly into the corner.

"And neither does Edward." She sighed. "You really need to think more about calling him your boyfriend, Jazz. Oh, and are you coming out on Friday night for works Christmas do? You know we only have two weeks off before we break up for a wonderful two and a half weeks off." A smile hit my face, no fucking accounts to deal with, no more stupid customers to ask me even more stupid questions, ah bliss.

"Yeah, I'm there." She clapped her hands and looked at me, a devilish smile on her lips as she bent forward and rested her hand under her chin.

"Do you think you could get us VIP entry into E2 what with you knowing and dating the owner?" She purred at me. I laughed making her giggle at me and sit back.

"Sure, I'll ask Edward. I'm sure he'll be able to sort it out." I grinned at her and watched as she stood and left my office.

Edward would be working on Friday night, would anyone spot us looking at each other? Other than Maria who already knew we were together, would anyone else twig? Would Edward come and speak to me in front of the people I work with? Of course he would, by the time we got there everyone would know that Edward and I were friends. Would they twig he was gay?

Fuck sake, Jazz, get it together. So what if people twigged he was gay, that wouldn't mean they would twig I was seeing him, or would they? All I had to do was act normal, just act as though nothing was going on between the two of us and everything would be fine, at least I could see him. Yeah, just think about that and not about anyone twigging that we're sort of together.

"Mr. Hale?" My head turned to the door to see Lauren standing in the doorway of my office wearing a baby pink short dress that hugged in all the right places. The sight of her low plunged dress, giving off ample amount of cleavage went right to my dick.

"Lauren." My voice strained out as I tried not to think about if she had a matching set underneath. She bent forward slightly over my desk, giving me an even better view of her tits. Fuck! _Think about Edward, think about what you did this morning, and do not think about the tits or the pink dress or the possibility that there is a matching pink set underneath. _Oh crap, now I was about to burst my fucking trousers.

"Here's the paper work you wanted." She purred out licking her bright red lips. _Don't think about them around your cock._

"Thanks." My voice was slightly higher. Crap, she has to stop doing that. "Bye then, Lauren." She licked her lips slowly and smiled leaving my office.

She fucking wants me, _but you now have Edward, _but she wants me, _but you now have Edward, _but Edward doesn't come in matching baby pink bra and panties set. _No, but Edward comes with the best O of your life. _FUCK!

I was only thinking like this because she was a woman and I was still confused and I was still working everything out. I want Edward, I just need to get to grips with things and little miss tits and ass is just getting in the way right now. Once I had it all figured out and I was comfortable she wouldn't bother me, would she? No, of course she wouldn't. In fact, she shouldn't bother me now, but she does. I can't help being attracted to the tits she was showing me or the short hugging dress that clung to her curves, that was just human nature and nothing to add even more confusion to.

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**_Did we all like their one on one time? Surely that earned me some reviews dont you think? _**

**_Please hit the review button my lovely's and send me some love, Jen x_**


	9. Chapter 9

_**AN/ Thank you for the reviews to the last chapter, I am working my way through them and I will reply to everyone.**_

**_Thank you to my lovely beta Amy for doing her thing, girl I would be lost without you!_**

**_I know a few of you are wondering more about Edward, well you'll be pleased to know that in this chapter were back in his head again, it's longer chapter then the rest because he wouldn't shut up. _**

**_Here's chapter 9!_**

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_**EPOV**_

"Well, how many?" I asked as I leant against the doorframe of Jasper's room. The news of his works Christmas do ending up in my club had just come out. I was angry that it had taken him this long to come out and ask me if his friends and him could have access to the VIP louge. What did he think I was going to do? Say no and demand that he doesn't go out? Jealous I might be, but an ass I was not.

"I don't know, ten, maybe fifteen." He pulled his shirt on and looked at me his blue orbs holding all kinds of emotions and secrets that he just wasn't willing to share. "So will it be okay?" I nodded. I didn't mind his buddies and him taking up the VIP longue, it wasn't booked for anything tonight and besides I would be able to see Jasper even if it was from across the room.

In the last week we had slowly moved forward, it seemed more like Jasper was beginning to get more comfortable in the idea of us being together. We had gone out again the other night, only to the pub for a couple of pints. The no touching rule still applied, but we were out and about together. I was pleased when he chose to sit next to me in the booth rather across from me. It was a small little gesture that showed he was trying, slowly taking little steps. This I could handle, as long as the slow steps continued to move forward I would remain happy.

"Thanks, babe. Will you be around?" He asked as he fastened the buttons on his shirt in front of the mirror.

"Yeah, you'll see me at some point." I smiled as my eyes ran down his body. Jasper looked good tonight. I was sure he would be arriving home with a few phone numbers in his pocket. The thought bothered me slightly that there would be women drooling over what was mine.

"Will you come and talk to me?" He turned around and smiled at me before walking to me and placing his lips against mine gently just once, before pulling back.

"Of course, why wouldn't I come and talk to my boy..... to you?" I knew Jasper hated for him to be called my boyfriend. It stung a little that he couldn't accept that, and it still made me feel like this was some experiment for him. I felt like he was ashamed of me, ashamed that he was with another man. I was falling hard for Jasper, the more we touched and snuggled together the more I fell for him.

"It bothers you, doesn't it? The whole boyfriend thing, I mean?" Looking down I nodded. I wasn't going to lie, I didn't believe that relationships should be based on lies. Telling him it didn't bother me was a lie, telling him it didn't bother me would be lying about it hurting. It did hurt, it hurt a lot.

"I get it, Jazz. I know you don't feel comfortable with having me as that, hopefully it won't stay like that." He bit his lips slightly and shrugged, perfect Jazz answer. He didn't know what else to say so he just shrugged.

"You'll see Lauren tonight." He smirked. Oh whoopee fucking doo, I can see the tits and ass that you have been lusting over, how fucking fantastic for me.

Lauren had made it clear to Jasper that she was after him. Jasper had taken some great delight in telling me all about her not so subtle ways. It was almost as if he forgot just what was happening between him and I, it was like we were just back to being friends again. I hadn't even meet the silly little slut and already I didn't fucking like her. He was mine, mine, not hers, or anyone else's, but mine. I knew I would have to watch as she threw herself at him tonight, watch as she put on the great display of getting his attention. The thought angered me deep within, just how the fuck was I going to handle that? I don't like anyone moving in on what is mine and considering I can't actually do anything to let anyone know he is taken, I was fucked. Just keep the anger together and it will be fine.

"Lovely." The sarcasm ran off my tongue making Jasper chuckle at me. Don't fucking laugh Jasper, me being jealous isn't something to laugh at. I wasn't on a scale where I would say what they could and couldn't wear. I wasn't as bad that. I would stop them from going out or having a go if I saw them talking to someone. I knew the difference between talking and flirting.

"Don't be jealous, I'm yours, you know that." Did I? Did I really know he was mine? Sure, he had told me he was mine, but it hadn't been shown or proven. I wanted that.

"Then if you're mine you can tell them about me, about us." I watched as his face screwed up slightly wrinkling his nose.

"I'm not ready for that, you know this, Edward." His defence to me made me want to laugh. Yeah, I knew he wasn't ready, but how far would she have to go until he had to stay he was spoken for?

"I know." I grumbled out. I wasn't happy. He knew I wasn't happy, but what else could I really do other than accept it and hope that in time he will change his mind and become ready to be out in public with me? "Your gift is under the tree." I watched as his face lit up in front of me. He moved closer to me again placing his hands around the small of my back, giving me the perfect chance to breath in his scent.

"What is it?" He asked smiling, running his nose up my neck and across my jaw, placing soft kisses as he went.

"You'll have to wait and see, Christmas isn't far, my Jazz, and you will soon find out just what it is." He pouted trying to get me to spill. I was hoping that my gift to him would give him the chance to see that things weren't really that different.

"You got me a gift? I can't believe you bought me a gift." His face carried shock. Did he think I wouldn't buy him anything for Christmas? We were together now, surely I was allowed to buy him something.

"Of course I did, but you're not to open it until the day." I grinned a little until I saw his face fall. He hadn't got me anything then I take it. "You haven't bought me anything, have you?" He shook his head at me, thought so. I didn't really think he would considering he can't even say he has boyfriend, even to me he can't say it.

"Not yet, but I will. I just need to find the right gift first." I chuckled slightly and looked at him.

"You wouldn't have if I hadn't, would you?" He sighed defeated at me, I knew as much.

"I just didn't think we would. I wasn't sure. I was going to ask you about it, but don't worry, I won't leave you out." He came to me again kissing my lips once more. My lips felt on fire as they moved with his soft beautiful lips. Pulling back from the kiss he smiled as a thoughtful look entered his face.

"I did want to talk to you about something, about us having sex." He started, doesn't he mean lack of it? The most we had done since our night together was hand jobs. It wasn't like I didn't want to because I did, and badly, it was more because I wanted him to have no fucking regrets about it in the morning. "Well when we do, would you also bottom?" I laughed. He wasn't serious, was he?

"No fucking way, its out of the question." My tone was enough to say that this wasn't going to be discussed, but Jasper pressed on regardless.

"Why not? Surely it would make us more equal if we were to switch from time to time?" He reasoned with me. How many ways can you say no?

"Because I don't bottom, end of it. It has nothing to do with us being equals, the answer is no." Jasper frowned at me and tried again.

"But why? Why won't you bottom? You told me you have never bottomed before so it's not like you can honestly say you don't like it, now is it?" True, I couldn't actually say that, but it didn't mean I was willing to try.

"No, it' just something that I have never wanted to do, some bottom, some top, and others switch, I fall into the top section and I won't move. Jazz, I won't bottom for you no matter how many times you try, it will never happen. You're not the first person to try and get me to bottom and my answer has always remained the same." This better get dropped and soon.

"But I want too." Was the word no just not going in? Was he having trouble understanding words now?

"Well you're out of luck, the answer is and forever will be no." He sighed at me and stared and tried to pout, pout all you fucking want Jasper, no man is ever going to fuck me.

"Fine, then I'll leave it for now." You can leave it for now, it won't change a thing if you come back with a different plan of action in a few days time, the answer won't change.

It's not like I have never had this chat before. I had on many occasions had this talk with ex's who thought that it will be good and healthy for us to switch, that it would be better for us and we could share our love in a different way. Bull fucking shit, you want a switch, off you go and find one, because that ship has sailed for me. I don't know why I never bottomed before, I think the whole trust factor plays a huge part in it. You have to trust that person that they're not going to hurt you or cause you any damage, that they will prep well enough and not just ram into you. I had never trusted anyone enough to allow that to happen. I didn't see it as some sort of gift that you were giving to that person. For me it was all about trust and that sort of trust I just didn't have.

"Have a good night. Emmett is working the door so he knows you're coming." He smiled at me softly.

"I'm sure I will. I'll see you at the club then?" I nodded and walked toward him and wrapped my arms around him breathing in his scent.

"You look fucking sexy as hell." I murmured against his neck making him shiver.

"Thank you." He breathed out breathlessly as I kissed up his neck and along his jaw before reaching his awaiting mouth. Our tongues wasted no time to dancing together, softly and passionately. I loved the feel of his tongue ball against my tongue. I had thought about what it might be like in other places. Breaking apart from the kiss I smiled trying not to think of how fucking good he looked and how many women would be all over him tonight.

The club was getting ready to open its doors by the time I arrived there. The queue to get in was over a mile long, okay, maybe not a mile, but a good half a mile. The club was my own little baby. I had poured so much money into it that I couldn't afford for it to go under. I had been lucky enough to employ people that I knew, well most of them anyway, but you could never truly rule out fingers being in tills. After a bust Friday or Saturday night the money the place took in could easily go missing and I would be none the wiser, or so they thought. I did have cameras covering all tills and the bar, I knew what was going in and what was going out, was that a lack of trust thing? Jasper had argued it was. I, on the other hand, had argued that this was just good business sense and all I was doing was protecting my investment, simple really.

"Jazz is coming tonight with his work buddies; they're heading into the VIP lounge." I told Emmett as I walked into my club. Emmett smirked and rubbed his hands together.

"Does this mean I will see that eighteen year old who is begging for it?" The knot in my stomach tightened. Oh good, Jasper has nicely told all our fucking friends about her. It won't be like they will be pushing him into it, now will it?

"Maybe." I tried really hard not to give away my jealously to Emmett. The last thing I wanted was questions coming from him. It wouldn't help Jasper or us for that matter.

"Sweet, I wonder how short her dress will be. Jazz says that sometimes it's that short it hardly covers her ass." Did he now? How fucking wonderful!

"Don't you have Bella?" I reminded him, Emmett smirked at me.

"Yeah, but dude there is no harm in window shopping. I always eat at home, and besides Bell's is going out on some hen night with one of her friends. There's going to be strippers, male fucking strippers, you're telling me she won't be getting an eye full? Of course she bloody well will. She's a woman and it's free candy to look at." It may be free fucking candy to look at it, but it doesn't mean I was going to enjoy watching him look at her.

"True. Catch you later." I walked past Emmett and into the club. I needed to think about where I was going to keep an eye on him.

The office was a good place. I could watch the CCTV, but he knows I was going to be on the floor so he'll be looking to see if he can spot me. The bar, but that could make a few problems. It would mean I would have to restrain myself from slamming the glass in her face if she came to the bar. Standing around would just make me look like some weird freak with a crush. Bar it is then.

Jasper made my jealous side worse. I wasn't always like this, wasn't always so uptight about things like this, but then again this was the first time I had ended up seeing someone who wasn't gay and had problems admitting he was seeing a guy. Before if I clocked anyone laying eyes on the guy I was with I could easily make it known he was taken, but with Jasper I can't. This didn't help me, the fact that I couldn't have the reassurance that he was in fact mine. Jasper wouldn't make it known that he was with me. I doubted he would make it known he was seeing someone because if he did then Jasper would be faced with questions, questions he didn't want to answer. I wasn't a bad person with my jealousy. I could keep it under wraps when I knew without a doubt that the person I was with was mine. Being behind closed doors with Jasper was fair and well, but being out in the public was a different story all together.

I needed more than what we had. Yes, he is getting his head around it, but I needed these steps to increase a little more. Waiting around wasn't one of my strong points. I knew I couldn't rush Jasper, that I had to take my time with him and push him gently not go at him like a bull out of a gate, but this didn't suit me well. The whole situation didn't sit well with me. I wasn't used to hiding away.

There wasn't much guarantee that Jasper and I would come out of this on the other side. Yes, Peter and Garrett had managed to overcome everything and they are now happy together, but I knew that not everyone was the same. I had seen friends have this sort of situation and it didn't turn out well. I knew a friend of mine was seeing a married man with a wife and a family and he told him that he loved him and all this crap and that he would leave his wife for him, did he? Did he? Fuck, he stayed with his wife and stayed in the fucking closet. This was slightly different, but the chances of Jasper ever coming out were low, they always were. The rings went off and placed in their back pocket while they wandered the club floor looking for their latest fuck. They'd pick some guy up take him back to a hotel, fuck him, place the ring back on the finger and go home to their wives.

I couldn't handle this sort of shit being in my life. I couldn't handle the thought that everything was going to end up fucked because of a drunken night. Part of me wishes I knocked Jasper back the night he asked if we could explore this, explore? What sort of a word is that? I know what it means, but you don't start a relationship off with someone saying you want to explore this, do you? Well, I don't anyway. Everything was on such a thin line. It could go one way or the other, everything. Every part of me wanted this to work. I wanted to wake up every morning and feel the wonderful current run through me making the hairs on my body stand up. I wanted to keep the feeling of feeling complete when I held him in my arms. Was I going to get that?

With my back pressed against the black and glass wall behind the bar I watched as drunken Jasper and his friends entered the bar. I noticed a woman right away that was Maria, she smiled and waved. Jasper had told me she knew about us. I had only ever met her once for all of about five minutes. She seemed like a good person for Jasper to talk to. I clocked Lauren next, her strapless red tight short dress was attracting a lot of attention; the dress did only just cover her ass. I was sure Emmett had a good look as she came in, with her tits pushed up under chin. Jasper was smitten by her. Her hand rested on the base of his back as she whispered sweet fucking nothings into his ear. He laughed over something she had said, his eyes staring at her chest the whole time with lust-filled eyes. I was going to be sick. The whole image was disgusting. She was eighteen and fresh out of school, the legal age to drink may be eighteen, but that didn't mean I had to serve her. We did have a twenty-one ID or no sale rule, as most of the pubs and clubs had. If she comes to the bar I will take great pleasure in throwing her slutty ass out of my club.

Jasper looked over towards me and smiled giving me a slight wave. So you remember me then? You're not completely overcome with Lauren then. Bitch!

"Eddie, where's the champagne?" Jasper called to me from across the room making his co-workers all shout and get all happy.

"Where's your credit card?" I watched as his face fell slightly and he made his way over to me, Lauren in tow. You have to be fucking joking me Jasper. It's almost like he wanted me to explode right now.

"Come on Ed, a few bottles of champagne won't go amiss." He slurred at me making Lauren giggle. I wonder how well she'd giggle with my foot in her mouth.

"And you can pay for them. It's not free, Jazz. It never is." Jasper sulked and disappeared leaving Lauren standing there smiling at me. Don't even think about it little girl.

"Can I have an OJ and Vodka?" She asked me sweetly. I smiled nicely and picked up a glass pouring the OJ in and handing it back to her. "There's no vodka in it?" Her little face looked shocked that I hadn't put any in it. Well isn't that a fuck?

"You're not twenty-one, no ID, no sale, the sign is right there." I pointed to the sign behind me. "So run along little girl and drink your OJ." Before I throw it over you and do something I might regret.

She took the drink and walked back to where they were sitting. She whispered something to Jasper who in turn looked at me while she spoke. Aw that's it, tell Jazz all about the mean man behind the bar who wouldn't give you vodka, bitch. Jasper walked over to me again, I sucked in a deep breath as he arrived.

"Vodka and OJ please, Ed." He slurred. I shook my head. "Err, why the fuck not?" He asked. Jasper you really are a complete and utter ass right now.

"You really think I'm going to sell you that drink so you can hand it to that little bitch over there? You clearly don't know me at all, Jazz." I was biting back my anger as I watched his face become full of shock at me.

"Look, what's the problem? They don't know about us and I'm just fitting in. I'm having a good night. Don't fuck it up for me." Oh I will fuck it up if this little fucking act carries on along with you.

"You're flirting with her." My eyes scanned down the bar, something interesting caught my sight. "You know what, Jazz, have the fucking vodka and OJ. Buy the little slut a drink, go flirt to your hearts content to 'fit in' and don't come fucking moaning when you see something you might not like." I slammed the vodka and OJ on the bar and headed down to the other end to serve another customer.

I could feel Jasper's eyes on me the whole fucking time. I was past fucking caring. I was angry. I was jealous and I was going to see just how much he liked it. I smiled seductively at the guy waiting to be served. I had to admit he was fit, tall, muscular, well built, dark black hair. Oh yes Jasper, two can play this game.

"What are you having?" I purred leaning over the bar slightly, all the time aware that Jasper was watching me.

"Bottle of bud and your number?" He leant over towards me. I smirked slightly and ran my tongue over my lips, and I could see Jasper out of the corner of my eye looking pissed off.

"Have it on me." I handed him the bottle of Bud with a wink. "And as for my number, I don't give it out. How about you give me yours?" I wasn't going to use the number. The moment it was given to me I was going to screw it up and throw it away, but if Jasper can sit there with that little slut on his lap then I can have his number.

"Got a pen?" He asked. I handed him a pen and some paper all the time knowing Jasper was watching my moves along with his. He wrote it down along with his name. "Give me a call, gorgeous." He smiled and walked away. I looked over to Jasper whose face was turning red. Good, not fucking nice, is it Jasper?

I watched as Lauren made her way to the toilets and Maria moved in on Jasper. Going by her face and his she was giving him an ear full, I was done. Tonight had just confirmed everything I had thought about it. Jasper would never really be mine. He would always hide away from us, so no one in the outside world could see. Walking away from the bar I headed to the office. I didn't want to see another performance from Lauren. What was she going to do next? Suck his cock? Fuck, I had clocked her grinding her ass over him.

Knowing Jasper well enough I knew he would soon follow me and turn up in my office, it was just a matter of time. Would he leave it a minute or five? So while I waited I sat on the edge of the desk my ankles crossed and my arms folded over my chest watching the door. Sure enough after about a minute Jasper appeared looking fucked off.

"What the hell wa......" Oh no, you fucking don't. I wasn't about to let him have his say first, so I cut him off.

"Get out! Go back downstairs, pick up that dirty little whore and go fuck her senseless. You think you can act like that in front of my fucking face and not have any sort of comeback, you're mistaken." I seethed out at him. I was battling to keep it under control. I could feel myself shaking slightly.

"She was flirting with me, not the other way around, but you took some guys number. How am I supposed to feel?" He snapped back.

"I don't fucking care. You let her sit herself on your lap while she rubbed herself on you. Jasper, I saw that, just like I saw your lust-filled eyes run over and over her. Jesus Jasper, I'm shocked you're not fucking wet through with the amount of drooling you're doing." He laughed and shook his head.

"So this is what this is about? Lauren was flirting with me so you decide to take some guys number and buy him a drink? What the fuck?" I closed my eyes for a minute and counted to ten, trying to calm myself down.

"That guy's number is on the floor behind the bar, screwed up in a little ball. It's not fucking nice, is it Jasper? To see me flirting with someone else, think how I feel. You have been doing it since you walked in here. I'm done, Jasper. We're done. Our friendship is done." Hurt hit his face as he looked at me blinking slightly. Want me write it out for you Jasper? Maybe even draw you a picture because you sure as hell don't understand the whole meaning of being with someone.

"Edward, please don't do this." He begged, beg all you fucking want Jasper, it won't change anything.

"You want to hide away from the world; you're ashamed to be with me. Jasper, I can't live my life like this. I can't handle the whole process of watching you flirt with a woman just so you can fit in, it's not me. I've tried, I've really fucking tried to wait while you got your shit together, but you never will. Tonight proved that. It proved that you would sooner put on an act just to fit in than being yourself and risk being an outcast." It was hurting to end this, but there was no way this could continue. Not after tonight, not after everything that has happened. He wasn't willing to prove to me that he was mine. Instead he chose to have some cheap dirty whore sit on his lap.

"You know I want you, I don't want her. You're the person I want and no one else." He moved towards me and touched my arm. "Please... I fucked up. I didn't act how I should have. I should have pushed her away and made it clear that I wasn't interested. I'm trying, Edward, really I am. I'm trying to do what's right and I'm trying to be open and free with you. Please don't end what we have." I pushed his hand off me, and moved away from him. As much as I wanted him I wanted us to be together properly more.

"Prove it. You want me, Jasper; then prove it to me that you want me." Hope ran across his face. I wondered how long that will stay there for.

"Anything, just please don't end this between us." A small smile ripped across his lips. I smiled back before I spoke. I knew this wouldn't be something he was going to do.

"Come out, be in public with me, hold my hand in front of people, kiss me in front of people, treat our relationship as if it was the same as any other relationship you have ever had, do that and we're back on track. I won't hide anymore, Jasper. I won't pretend I'm not with you. It fucking ends. The choice is yours, Jasper." His face fell as I knew it would. I knew he wasn't ready for this.

Part of me hoped that giving him some time to think about it he would come round, he would be willing to go public with me, and there would be no more hiding. I wasn't banking on it. It was just a small part of me that was sure he would come round once we realised what we had. I was falling in love with him. Falling for him in such a way that I never thought would be possible. I knew deep down that he would never come out, he would never feel comfortable being out with me in public for all to see. It was some stupid little dream, much like my gift to him was.

"I can't do that yet, you know I can't." He pleaded with me. I just shook my head and turned my back to him.

"Well, you either do and have me back or you don't and lose me forever, it's your call. Just go, Jazz. Think about what I said. It's all or nothing." I listened as he sighed, heard his footsteps away from me and towards the door. I heard the door close and click and I was left on my own.

The pain I felt feeling him go, knowing he was gone ripped a whole in my chest. I felt like shit. I had just lost the person I thought was going to be the greatest thing in my life, the person that I put everything on the line for, had just gone. This wasn't what I wanted, even though I was doing what was right for me. I didn't want to lose him, but I had no other choice. I wasn't ashamed of who I was. I wasn't ashamed to admit that I liked and fucked men; that I wanted to spend the rest of my days with a man and not a woman. I had come out a long time ago. I wasn't going to hide away and pretend just because Jasper was having a few issues. I tried to be supportive and I tried to wait for him, but after seeing this tonight, it really was all or nothing. In the pit of my stomach I just knew nothing would come about.

Staring at the CCTV I watched Jasper being dragged out of the club by Maria and pushed into a taxi followed by herself. I watched Lauren look around for Jasper before giving up and copping off with some other guy. Yeah, I was sure you're really disappointed Lauren. Knowing that Jasper was out of the club and away from Lauren, safe in Maria's hands I decided to leave. I wasn't going to go home. I honestly didn't think I could face seeing Jasper without breaking apart, and as none of our friends knew anything about us I decided the best place for me to go was to Garrett and Peter's.

Moving my way through I felt empty, like a part of me was missing. How can something that has been going on for just three weeks actually change you so much that you feel as though a part of you is missing?

"Dude, what happened to Jazz? I just saw him getting his ass handed to him by a woman, what's he gone and done?" The child in Emmett was dying to know just what had gone off so he could be in on the know.

"No idea, I wasn't on the floor when he was dragged out of here. I'll see you later, Em." He frowned as I walked away. I knew he knew that I knew more than I was letting on, that's the bad thing about being friends with someone since you were kids, they know shit.

I would have loved to share this with Em. It would be nice to talk someone who actually knew Jasper. Garrett and Peter were great, but they didn't know Jasper. They could only second guess what he was thinking, but that's what I had to make do with. With my heart laying heavy in my chest I drove towards their home. It was a little on the late side, but it wasn't too late and I had been there for both of them when they had fallen out and one had appeared at my door. I guess they owed me this favour.

Sighing loudly I cut the engine off and got out. Everything in me just felt empty. My stomach was knotted like I was going to be sick. My chest ached with the knowledge that he wasn't mine and I didn't have him anymore. The only thing I was thankful for was that I hadn't cried..... yet. Even that was something I was sure would happen at some point. Knocking on their door I waited for them to answer. I turned my back to the door while I waited and looked around the dark street that was lit with streetlights. How had all of this happened? The other morning we were talking about children and the future, of what we both wanted, now that was gone. I won't lie and say that when we spoke about children and he asked me if I would have them with him if we ever got to that stage that I wasn't secretly happy and doing fucking cartwheels, because I was. I pictured our life ten years from now, I let my mind wander away from me and come up with things that weren't about to happen or now were never going to happen. I had been stupid and allowed everything to go, allowed my heart to rule my head instead of the other way around. It had brought me to the land of pain, all because I wanted us.

"Edward?" Garrett's voice called into the night. I turned around slowly to face him and bit my bottom lip. "This doesn't look good, come in." I was thankful that Garrett knew me well enough to know that I would only appear here at some ungodly earthly hour if something bad had happened.

I followed him into the living as he flicked the lights on. It suddenly dawned on me that I had woken him up from his sleep. Feeling bad I sat down and looked at the floor as I heard him move around and open things before nudging my hand and passing me a glass of whiskey.

"You want this more than coffee." He said sitting down in the chair and looking at me.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake up. Did I wake Peter as well?" He shook his head at me and took a sip of his drink.

"No, Peter is at a work's conference, he'll be back tomorrow morning. As for waking me up, it's fine, something has happened, that's why you're here." I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair looking at the floor.

"Me and Jasper broke up." He flicked his eyebrows up at me for a moment before settling back down, waiting for me to continue. "Jasper was drunk in the club, flirting with this nasty piece of ass, she was all over him. So I gave him a taste of his own medicine and flirted with a guy at the bar who came to buy a drink. Afterward I went to the office and broke it off, giving him a choice. He either comes to terms with us and comes out in public with me or he doesn't and we stay apart." It sounded so sad to me. All this had happened and I was making it like it was huge and it wasn't, it just hurt like a bitch.

"What else? Something must have been leading to this, Edward. I know Jasper was flirting and you did it back to him, and I almost see your reason's why you broke it off, but I know Jasper was making small little steps, so what else has happened for you to be giving him this now?" Sitting back on the sofa I looked up at the ceiling as my eyes started to sting with tears. I won't cry over him, I won't shed these tears over a man who couldn't even call me his boyfriend.

Willing the tears to go away and leave me alone I blinked a few times hoping that they would go, but of course they didn't. My blinking only made a single tear roll down the side of my face which I wiped away before it ran off my chin. I was or had fallen in love with him. This was what was causing the pain in my chest, the pain to hit hard every time I thought about his name. I had fallen for him. I was only trying to fool myself by saying I was falling, I already had. I placed a bet and lost out. I fell for the wrong guy. I fell for someone I shouldn't have done. It was no one else's fault but my own. I knew at the very start of this I would end up getting hurt and I was right. I wanted things to go back before that night. I wanted to go back and change the past and stop all of this from ever happening, stop myself from falling in love with someone who would never be mine. Before that fucking night Jasper had never entered my mind that way. I had never held a single feeling for him other than caring for him as a friend. That night ruined everything.

"He couldn't handle me calling him my boyfriend. He couldn't handle himself saying he had a boyfriend. It hurt; it hurt fucking bad to know he couldn't call me that. I wasn't expecting him to say it out loud to everyone, but I would have liked it if he could have at least said it to me, just me and no one else." I sucked in a shaky breath and looked at Garrett who sighed and downed the rest of his drink before pouring another one and offering it to me.

"I can see that would have hurt you, Edward. It's small things like that that cause the most damage, that hurt the most." He took another drink and looked at me. "He will come round, you have laid it out for him and he will come to you. Edward, this is no easy task. I have been there and been through the heartache it brings, but you two......." He smiled. "You two together give off an aura, there is something between you, something real. He knows that and this will push him towards you. I don't know when or how long it may take, but he will be willing to risk it." I screwed my face up and finished my glass off.

"Really? I don't think he will." Garrett shook his head at me.

"You don't know that. Remember this is confusing for him, and you were right to lay it down like that. It's putting everything out in the open. You don't want to be messed around by him and you're standing your ground on that. Jasper will respect that, maybe not right now, but he will. I'm sure someone will kick him up the ass and make him choose you." I laughed slightly. I didn't want him to be forced into choosing me. I wanted him to choose me willingly.

"Don't laugh, Edward. Trust me when I tell you Jasper will come. The time line is now important. How long are you willing to wait for him to come to you? This is something I can not tell because I don't know the answer. This is something you need to think about yourself. A week? A few weeks? A month? A few months? How long are you willing to wait for him?" He stood up and looked at me. "You know where the spare room is, help yourself. I'll see you in the morning." He squeezed my shoulder before leaving.

How long was I willing to wait? I hadn't really given that any thought when I told him what I wanted. The end of January seemed long enough to me. That gave him what? Six weeks or so to sort it out. I could stay out of his way until then, and then after that I'll just move out if he doesn't come to me. Everything now rested with Jasper. He had the ball in his court. He could either follow what we had together and come to me and give me what I wanted or he could choose that his life would just be better without me and live a life in denial and forget all about me, all about us. Maybe one day he might be lucky enough to find someone else that he can share that same fuzzy feeling with. I can only hope that I was not the one that will end up suffering more pain from him.

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**_So who's been a naughty boy then? Before anyone say's it yes Edward's reaction was a little OTT, but this is how Edward is, it's all or nothing now for him._**

**_Was Edward right to break it off with Jasper and tell him if he want's him then he has to go public?_**

**_Was Edward right to flirt back with a guy to piss Jasper off? personal even though its childish it's something I would do, taste of your own and all._**

**_Oh I amost forgot, I now have my ass on Twitter, my name is the same as on here with _ffn stuck on the end, come follow me and you can see just how crackers I really am._**

**_Please hit the review button my lovelys and send me some love, Jen x_**


	10. Chapter 10

_**AN/ Aw thank you so much for the reviews for the last chapter, it means a lot, I will reply to everyone. I've become completely lost in time right now, there is so much going on with Christmas just round the corner and trying to write thiese chapters and the next hapter for It's Fate, which by the way has a nice little something in, I'm just running out of time.**_

**_I love how everyone is spilt over the last chapter, some think it was right other think it was unfair, I love it. It's great to read what your all thinking._**

**_Here's chapter 10!_**

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_**JPOV**_

"What the fuck?" I screamed as cold water was chucked all over me, ice cold freeing water. What the fuck was this about? My head was throbbing like no tomorrow. Fuck, how much did I drink last night? My eyes focused to see Maria standing with a bucket in her hand dressed in one of my shirts? "Maria?" Oh dear lord, I didn't, did I?

"You stupid, pig headed, I'm going to think with my cock and nothing else, wanker!" She screamed. Okay, I guess I didn't fuck her, which was a relief. Maria was good looking but not really my cup of tea, if you catch my drift.

"What the hell are you doing here? Why are you in my room with my shirt on? Why did you throw cold water over me?" Maria turned red in the face as her nostrils flared at me.

"I fucking told you to leave her alone, but would you listen? No, you fucking wouldn't. You just had to fucking drool over her like some horny cock, in front of your boyfriend! JASPER HALE NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I SEEN YOU ACT SO FUCKING STUPID. YOU LET HER GRIND ON YOU IN FRONT OF EDWARD!" Do we really need to shout woman? Did she not get that I had a headache?

"No, I didn't." I laughed out, like I would let her do that. I wouldn't do something like in front of Edward, no fucking way.

"Oh yes, you fucking did! You even took her to the bar with you when you first got there, rubbed his face right in it, and then when he wouldn't serve her you went and bought her a drink. No fucking wonder he flirted with some guy, which by the way I had to tell you to sit the fuck down before you started fighting." I closed my eyes. I thought that was a bad dream, a really bad fucking dream.

"Then that means...." I trailed off, swallowing loudly. Edward dumped me.

"Oh yes, so what are you going to do? Get him back and do what he wants, that means you coming fucking out or are you going to stay here hiding away?" She asked her hands on her hips. I groaned and moved getting out of bed. "And where do you think you're going?" Are you my mother now? What the fuck was with women and this shit?

"To talk to Edward, to explain." She grabbed my arm stopping me from leaving the room. I looked at her not wanting to hurt her by pushing her off, but I needed to see Edward. I cared about him, I cared about us.

"He's not here." My face filled with shock as it washed over me, what did she mean he wasn't here?

"Where is he?" I asked feeling the bottom just falling out of my world.

"At Garrett's and Peter's, I called him last night after you passed out. You don't know where they live, do you?" She asked raising her eyebrow at me questioningly. I shook my head; I had no idea where they lived. "He'll be back, but he is staying out of your way. Jasper, you have hurt him and hurt him bad. He fucking wants you, Jasper, all of you, your stupid head, the fucking lot, and you do this to him. You make it so he can't claim you as his and then you flirt with that little slut in his face. Wasn't it enough that you won't even call him your boyfriend to his face?" My lip trembled. "And you can stop that as well, no one feels sorry Jazz."

"I can't come out. I can't go public." I whined out. Maria just shook her head and looked at me, disgust covered her face.

"Then you lose him. You have something really fucking special with Edward, a chance at true love and you're throwing it away, you're hurting him in the process. Jesus Jasper, get it together." She demanded making me cringe. It was like having my mother shout at me. Only my mum could make me cringe this way; that was until I met Maria.

"He's knows I'm not ready, he said..." She slapped me across the face. Ow, that fucking hurt. I rubbed the side of my jaw.

"You left him no fucking choice but to push you." Her tone cut through me. I couldn't come out in public; I wasn't ready for that shit. I just needed to talk to him.

"Jazz, listen to me and listen fucking good and this time for the love of god have it go in please, if you want him then you will make it known that you're with him. He's not a fool, Jasper. Don't take him for one, that's just what you have been doing. Telling me how you crept into his bedroom just to be close to him then you openly do that to him, in front of him, no wonder he dumped you. I would have fucking laid you out if it was me. Stay the hell away from that little bitch. She is only trying to fuck her way into the company. She doesn't want you. She just wants to use your position. Edward, on the other hand, wants you. He's falling in love with you, Jasper. How can you do this to him?" She asked. No wait, she didn't ask, she fucking demanded.

"I was just trying to act normal, that's all." I defended making her laugh at me, mocking me. I felt small, I felt like shit and I realised that maybe I cared more for Edward than I had actually thought about.

"Trying to act normal? What, by crushing him like that? Take my advice Jasper, don't go running to him until you're ready to go public, he won't entertain you any other way." She sat on the edge of my bed and waited for me to answer. All I managed to do was bite my lips and look out the window before turning back to her.

"And you know this how?" Surely Edward would speak to me without me going public, wouldn't he?

"Because he told me, Jasper, I listened as he broke his heart over the fucking phone over you. When you're ready to go public go to him. Until then he won't even speak to you in the house if he sees you, not unless you're willing to public. You have well and truly fucked this, Jazz. I'm ashamed to say I'm a friend of yours right now." She got off my bed which was now wet through. Yeah, thanks for that Maria, and headed towards the door.

"Where are you going?" I asked. She looked at me and shook her head.

"Home. I'll see you at work tomorrow; it is the final week so I hardly think we will be busy." She smiled softly, only slightly. "Think about what I said and think about what you need to do." With that she left my room.

Edward had dumped me and the only way I would get him back was if I came out and went public with him, fuck! I hadn't meant for last night to be so... so fucked up like that. I didn't want to hurt him. How can he actually expect me just to come out like that? This was new to me. I was not going to be bullied into something I don't want to do. If he wants me to come to him then he will have a long fucking wait because I was not about to go running to him. If he cared about me then he would be back admitting he was an ass for offering me some kind of ultimatum. Yeah, he may be all out and proud and all that crap, it doesn't mean I was about to jump on the fucking bandwagon and go out dressed as the fucking Village People.

Groaning I left my now wet bed in a grump. I had water poured over me, been shouted at, dumped and given an ultimatum all in the space of a few hours, this wasn't fair. We had been friends since we were kids. Edward had always managed to make me laugh even when I felt like crap. Sure, we had fallen out, we even once got into a fight and he kicked my ass, though I was drunk at the time and thought it would be a good idea to pick a fight with him. I don't know why I did. I think I was just going through some awkward stage and I just hated everything around me, fourteen, found a bottle of Jack and got smashed. Edward found me in the park and tried to bring me home. Of course I wanted to be an ass.

Last winter I came down with the flu, I was really bad. It wasn't the normal flu; it was fucking worse than that. I honestly thought I was dying. I could hardly breathe sometimes my chest was that bad. He checked up on me all the time, even through the night, making sure I was okay. He brought me soup and hot drinks, stayed with me and chatted to me when Alice wasn't there. When he caught it off me and then got dumped by his boyfriend of six months I fucked off with Alice for a dirty weekend. I never even called him to see if he was okay, yet he had been there for me through every break up I had ever had, through every illness I suffered, he was there. He cared when I didn't give a rat's ass about him, yet I classed him as my best friend. I had told him things I had never told anyone before in my life, things that even Alice didn't know he knew. I trusted him with my secrets to keep them safe and knew he wouldn't break my trust in any way, shape, or form.

I panicked when I thought he was going to leave after Seth left. I jumped when he asked if we should stay as just him and I or find someone to replace Seth in the house. I had always wanted Edward. I backed away and didn't care when I did because I wanted him and I couldn't have him. I wasn't in love with him, but he knew me better than anyone else. I wanted Edward to be a woman so I could have him. The thought of switching sides so I could have him never entered my head. I was looking for a female Edward when all I had to do was turn to him. Somewhere in my mind I wanted him and I wasn't willing to accept it or see it was there. My drunken state that night had pushed me to do something, to set something off and now I had well and truly fucked it up. I wanted him. I wanted all of him. He set my skin on fire with his simple little touches. How much of a fool had I been last night to let Lauren have her fun in front of Edward? In front of the guy I was seeing, in front of my boy...... _just say the goddamn word, Jasper. Just spit it out_. I can't. Flopping on the sofa I sulked, and became a child over everything.

By the time Edward arrived home it was close on to seven pm. I thought he would have been home sooner, thought that maybe he wanted to talk to me, but when he arrived home he didn't even look at me. He just headed upstairs and into the shower. I had looked at him with hopeful eyes, begging him to talk to me, to look at me, to stop me from feeling like this, but he didn't. I knew I had to go to him. Maria said that I should only go to him if I was willing to come out and go public, but she didn't know him the way I knew him. Edward was a softy when he cared for someone, and surely he was falling for me the way I was falling for him, right?

Moving myself up off the sofa I climbed the stairs and entered his room. Looking at his bed I thought about our drunken night, the night he fucked me. I was getting hard at the sheer thought of it. I had slept in his bed a few nights ago wanting to be close to him, wanting to be near him. I had woken up the following morning to the best possible way on earth, and now he wouldn't even look at me. I sat on his bed and waited as I heard the shower switch off. The bathroom door opened and my heart beat faster in my chest knowing that he was on his way into his room. The sight of his wet body with only a towel wrapped around him sent me into a spin, the droplets of water cascaded down his muscular chest. I wanted to lick the droplets off his body, wanted to run my tongue over every well defined muscle he had.

"Get out my room, Jasper." His voice held no feeling in it as I moved off the bed and towards him.

"Edward, please." I begged as my hand reached out of its own accord and touched his chest. He breathed in deeply and closed his eyes. I moved closer to him and kissed his neck. "Please babe, don't do this to me, to us." I whispered against his skin as my fingers trailed lightly over his chest. He grabbed my wrist, stopping me from going any lower.

"Are you going to come out?" He asked his green smouldering eyes searching my face. I shook my head. "Then go." He moved past me, taking his body heat with him, taking away my comfort.

"I'm not ready for that, please give me time." I begged. He laughed at me and shook his head going through his wardrobe.

"Time? What, so you can flirt with some slut in my face? I don't think so, Jasper. Don't try and play on my feelings or emotions. I wised up to that game play a long time ago." He snapped. I needed to think and think fast.

"Edward." I moaned in a childlike voice hoping it would have some effect on him. I was wrong when I saw the fire in his eyes.

"You know what I want. I'm not ashamed to be with you like you are with me. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed to hold your hand or kiss you, or even call you my boyfriend. You, on the other hand, are. Jasper, you don't care about me, you never fucking have. I figured out a long time just what a selfish bastard you are, how you're all about you and yet I still believed that maybe in a relationship you wouldn't be all about you, but you were. I was there too, Jasper. In its short fucking life I was there, a part of it, but you never once gave a single fucking thought to me in this. I made a mistake by letting it go on, I know fucking better." He sucked in a deep breath as his eyes started to glass slightly. "If you want me, you know what you have to do. If you're not going to do that, then go. I don't to want to talk to you unless you're willing to come out." He moved to the door and held the door.

"Please." I whispered out.

"Out Jasper, before I fucking throw you out." Moving past him I walked into the hallway as he slammed the door shut.

Maria had been right. During our short relationship I wouldn't even call him my um...... boyfriend. Maria had told me that it would hurt him and then he admitted this to me yesterday. I didn't think that me not calling him that would hurt him that way, but I guess I wouldn't like it if it was the other way around. It wasn't that I was ashamed of him; I was just uncomfortable being seen in public with him like that. They weren't the same things, were they?

I knew I had to do it if I wanted Edward, but how could I just change my life like that? I was the one that had to change. He was out and proud and all that, but me? I wasn't sure what I was really coming out to. Was I coming out to being gay, to being bi? To admitting that I cared and wanted my best friend, that I wanted him to claim me as his? Just what was I coming out to?

The days passed on and I saw less and less of Edward. Since Sunday night he had managed to say thanks once when I handed him his phone that he was looking for on Tuesday night. Other than that he hadn't spoke to me, and while he hadn't spoken to me I sulked. I made my mind up that I wasn't going to go to him, made it up that even though I wanted him I wasn't going to be bullied and that's how I felt it was. He was bullying me into something I wasn't ready for; he couldn't or wouldn't accept that this was hard for me. Maria had her views on it, claiming I was being an ass by letting him go like that, being an ass and letting true love walk away from me. It was easy for her to say, but she wasn't in the situation. I lost my best friend in all of this mess that had been created. When did the line between friendship and lovers get rubbed out? Why did I have to lose him as a friend? I guess it was all or nothing for Edward. I either had him, all of him, or I had none of him.

By the time the end of the week arrived and we had broken up from work for two and a half weeks I was really down. I missed him. In the short space of time I had missed the kisses and cuddles that came from him, missed the feeling of his soft lips crushed hard against mine along with his body. I missed the way he cared when he asked me how my day had gone at work, how he made me a coffee when I arrived home. I missed him.

Christmas was on Wednesday and I was due to drive back home on Tuesday. The idea had been that we would car share as our parents lived close to each other, only now that wouldn't be happening. Our friends knew something was up, they knew something had gone off between Edward and I, but neither one of us admitted what had actually happened, both of us playing it off as a fall out, nothing more. He was still keeping my secrets even now, even after I had hurt him the way I did. Still I dug my heels in unable to go to him and accepting that everything around us was truly dead. Even though I missed him, missed his touch, I couldn't out myself like that. During the week since it happened I had thought so much, switched sides so often and I now had truly accepted that the best way would just be to forget about it, forget about us, forget about everything that happened, even that warm tingly feeling, just blank it all out and move forward in my life.

Hearing the front door go on Saturday night was my choice, though I didn't realise this when I went to get the door. Alice stood there, a small smile on her beautiful face as she looked at me and then the floor. It had been months since I had last seen her. I had ripped up her letter because I wanted things to work with Edward, but yet here she was on the doorstep.

"Alice." My cry was breathless, in a whisper, as though I couldn't find my voice. She was here; my beautiful little pixie was here.

"Can we talk?" She asked as she shivered out in the cold. I wanted to wrap her up in my arms and warm her up. I wanted to tell her how much I had missed her, and that she was my world, but I couldn't find my voice. I couldn't move to touch her; it was like someone was holding me back. Nodding I opened the door wider to allow her to come in. Her cheeks were red from the cold as she came into the house, pulling off her hat and gloves.

"Jazz, I'm sorry I left, my head was in a bad way." She started as she walked into the living room. "Did you get my letter?" She asked sitting down.

"Yes." I croaked like an idiot. Edward would be pissing himself with laughter right now if he could see........ Shit Edward, my heart sank again.

"I thought you would call, but you didn't, so I thought I would come and see you." She looked around the living room and clocked the little red envelop that was under the tree.

"You said you needed to talk to me, to tell me something." I asked all the time watching her eyes that were fixed on the red envelope, it was Edward's gift to me, but she didn't know this.

"Yeah..... I um.... the whole finding myself, Jazz, I was fucking scared. We were planning on getting married, I wasn't sure I was ready for that, so I bottled it and took off." She explained. I almost laughed.

"Then why didn't you just say you weren't ready, Al? We didn't need to get married in the summer, or the summer after that, there was no rush. I just wanted you to be mine." _At the time, but you didn't add that one, did you? No, because you're a chicken shit._ Do you want to shut it now?

"I know, but you wanted it. I'm here to ask for us to try again. I know what I did was wrong and I should have told you that I was scared, but I have missed you. I love you, Jazz." She moved herself closer to me, her leg touching mine, her hand rested on my thigh. "Jazz, can we? Can we start over?" _Push her a- fucking-way and tell her you don't want her. Tell her you want Edward. Tell her it's too fucking late. Do not go there, Jasper, don't fucking do it._ My mind screamed at me as her face moved closer to mine, her lips just inches away and closing in. _Earth to Jasper, don't let her kiss you. Don't let her fuck you up. You want Edward, not her!_ The voice screamed in my head as her lips met mine. There was no spark, no current running through me when we touched, there was nothing, but a gasp behind me. I pulled back to see Edward standing there, hurt and anger covered his face just before he bolted out the room.

FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK! _He's gone. Well the fuck done, you stupid cunt. Why did you have to be put in a body of ass like you?_ Alice giggled and smiled, love radiated off her, her eyes screamed with love that she carried just for me.

"What was all that about?" She asked. She had seen Edward bolt out the room. I inwardly groaned, that wasn't meant to happen.

"Nothing, stay there, or just go." I mumbled out, running out of the room and up the stairs after Edward.

I saw him packing, his back heaving. He was crying, crying over me, crying over what he saw. It wasn't like that, she had kissed me. I needed to explain this to him, explain the misunderstanding that just occurred.

"Edward, it's not what you think." I protested at him, hearing his soft sobs pulled at my heart.

"Really, Jazz? I knew you wouldn't come to me, just like I knew you would never be mine. It's always been her, always. I just got caught up in it, caught up in the stupid little dream that we had something." He zipped his bag up and looked at me; the hurt covered his smouldering green eyes.

"Just listen to me, please. I know it looks bad, but it's not how it looked, honest." He shook his head at me and moved away.

"I'm not a fool, Jasper. This really is goodbye. I'll move out during Christmas." My stomach knotted tightly. "Enjoy your gift from me. I'm sure you and Alice will love it." He brushed past me and ran down the stairs the front door slamming behind him.

The fucking little bitch had just cost me everything. _No Jasper, you had your chance to go to him. You had your chance to make it work, but instead you chose to be a cunt with Lauren and then sulk all week long, this is your own doing. _I frowned at my own inner voice, and slowly walked downstairs to see Alice smiling holding the gift from Edward.

"Who's this from?" She asked looking at it. "You and gay boy fallen out? What's he got his panties in a twist over?" I snatched the gift out of her hands.

"Don't call him that." I snapped noticing the envelope had been ripped open. "You opened this?" I quizzed her, she smiled and nodded.

"Who's it from? There are first class tickets in there to Paris for Valentine's." My heart broke. He had done that, for me. For him and me to go away together, he had wanted this to work, he had wanted us together. I closed my eyes and the pain washed over me. I wasn't one for crying, it wasn't something I did, but the pain that hit me almost brought me to tears.

"They're from Edward." I heard her giggle gently before she full on laughed. My eyes shot open to see her laughing her head off.

"Why was he buying you that? Paris for Valentine's? Doesn't he know that only couples in love go there then, not friends?" She continued to laugh. I was now getting angry, angry that she had turned up here, angry that she had kissed me causing Edward to see, angry that she had opened the gift that was for me, for him and me.

"What's so funny?" I barked out at her. She stopped laughing and bit her lips as her eyes narrowed thinking.

"You two aren't? You're not with him, are you? He's just got some crush you, hasn't he?" She asked. _Make the changes Jasper, fucking tell her. _"That was a stupid thing to ask. Of course you're not with him; you're too much of a man for that." The smug little grin angered me even more. _Wipe it off her face, Jasper! _

"No, god no, don't be stupid, Al. But me and you....." Before I could even finish what I was going to say she kissed me again. Again there was no spark, no fireworks going off in my mind, or around me, there was nothing.

"Just think about it, think about us going on that weekend away to Paris." She smiled at me, her sweet little smile that I loved so much.

"Alice..." I protested, but it fell on deaf ears. Alice picked up her coat and handed me the tickets.

"Think about it." She kissed my cheek and left.

I looked at the tickets in my hand. He had wanted to take me away. He had wanted us to be out together by then. I had never been to Paris. I had never even seen Edward take anyone away like that. Did that mean he was in love with me, or falling in love with me? And now this, now Alice returning, I didn't want her, I knew that much. The person I wanted had run out of the house with tears in his eyes after catching Alice kissing me. How was I meant to get him back now? Would the offer still be out on the table now? Slumping on the sofa I let the tears fall that had been held back all this time. I never cried; never let my emotions get the better of me, but right now I was hurting, hurting more than when Alice left me. And I realised something, I was in love with my best friend and I needed him.

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**_Who thinks Alice is a bitch and needs I go slap? Hands up (hand in the air) _**

**_Please hit the review button my lovely's and send me some love, Jen x_**


	11. Chapter 11

_**AN/ Thank you to everyone that reviewed the last chapter. It seems as though people are really picking sides in this, hehe, I love it! I know at the moment Jasper is being painted out as the bad guy when Edward has his own little problems, But Jasper is the only one talking to me right now. Edwards little problem's will come out some of you are on to it. Personally I think their both as bad as the other. Next Chapter will be in EPOV.**_

**_Thank you to Amy for doing her thing and checking over the chapter for me._**

**_Here's chapter 11!_**

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_**JPOV**_

My night passed in some drunken blur as I drank my way through the contents of a bottle of Jack, some cheap poor excuse for whiskey which it was. I didn't really know why I bought it. Edward could never stand the stuff, he thought it was crap and said that only the Scot's knew how to make good whiskey.

In my drunken state I had managed to smash half the house up, punching walls and doors and cutting my knuckles to shreds. I didn't stop until my hands were that sore that they throbbing and pouring with blood. My anger raged on through most of the night, hurting over what had happened, hurting over seeing him leave, seeing the pain in his eyes. If Alice had never shown up then he wouldn't have seen her kiss me, and the chance to have him would be still be there. I had crawled into his bedroom where his scent had hit me, filling my lungs and bringing a fresh wave of tears my way. I had been so stupid. All the last week I could have gone to him. I could have sucked it up and come out to everyone that we were together. I could have at least tried. Instead I sulked and brooded over what had happened; dug my heels in because he had given me an ultimatum, all or nothing. I had cost us the chance at being happy together. Now I would never truly know if he was my one. Never truly know if I could have had the love that people search for their whole lives. It was there, it was right fucking there and yet I had just pissed about and moaned. I had acted selfish and never gave a single thought to him. Why couldn't I have just called him my boyfriend when we were together alone in our own home, why did I have to be such an ass? I had disrespected him in that club, in his club. I had lusted over Lauren while she offered it on a plate to me. There wasn't anything that wasn't on show. There was no leaving it to the imagination because all of it was there on full display for all to see. I took her to the bar with me, to see Edward while he worked. I had shown him just what was holding my attention at work, and I took the piss and demanded that champagne was put on our table, for free, on him. I even went back to the bar when he wouldn't serve her to buy her a drink, there's a nice slap in your face. Then I let her sit on my lap while she rubbed herself on me. No wonder he had dumped me and given me this ultimatum. I had no one to blame but myself.

As his wonderful glorious scent hit my nose and filled my body I collapsed on his bed, curling up in a ball and wishing he would come home, come back to me and let me lay in his arms, let me feel his soft full lush lips on mine, but he was gone. He left with the thought of moving out over Christmas, moving out of the house we shared, the home we shared. I didn't want him to leave, didn't want him to move out, I wanted to be with him. I wanted to go off to Paris for the weekend and spend my time loving him. How could I sort this mess out now? How could I make him see that I wanted us, that I wanted him and no one else? The thought entered my head as I fell asleep, curled in a tight ball on his bed.

I woke up with a sore throat from all the shouting I had done, sore swollen hands and a puffy face, but none of them matched the pain in my heart. Rolling onto my back I stared at the ceiling above me, on the bed that we had fucked on. You know I hated that word. I hated to use that word when speaking of having sex. It was something that I picked up from Edward, to him it was fucking, not shagging or making love, just fucking. I didn't want him to fuck me. I wanted him to make love to me. I wanted to share in that wonderful feeling of being connected to the person you love. I closed my eyes searching my mind for a way to have him back, but the only thing I could come up with was coming out in public in front of him. Putting a display on just solely for him to show him I was in this, really in this no matter what, no matter what people thought or said, or how they looked, that I was with him. As though it seemed so easy I would have to have him actually listen to me long enough for it to work, to find him out in a place where there were people and lots of them. My plan seemed perfect, but of course it wasn't. First I had to get him to listen to me in a crowded place. No wait, first I needed to find a crowded place where he was, then get him to listen to me. Do you see the holes in my plan?

A knocking sound snapped me from my thoughts. I sat up and cocked my head much like a dog that's listening, waiting for the sound to hit again. The door was definitely being knocked on, but by whom? Please don't let it be Alice. I don't know if I would be able to stop myself from slapping her hard across the face. Running down the stairs in my hung-over state I clocked the damage that I had done last night. Fuck, I was going to have to clean that up. I opened the door to see Garrett standing there. Taken aback slightly my mouth bobbed open and closed for a few seconds.

"Edward's not here, he left yesterday to go to his parents." I croaked out, my voice was so harsh and raspy. Garrett's face looked furious as he stared at me. I felt uneasy standing here, why hadn't he gone? I had just told him Edward wasn't here.

"I know. I'm here to see you." He pushed past me and into the hallway.

"Come in, why don't you?" I snapped pissed off that this man just walked into my house without being asked in first.

"Cut your crap, Jasper. Your crap has got you into this mess." I sulked. He was right, of course. He was, the whole fucking world was right and I was fucking wrong.

"Drink?" I asked following him into the kitchen. I half expected him to offer me considering he was acting as though I was the guest and not him.

"I'll make it; you need to clean those cuts on your knuckles." He flicked the kettle on and pulled out two mugs from the cupboard.

"You noticed them." I muttered under my breath. Garrett chuckled as though he heard me.

"There isn't much I don't miss." He was underneath the kitchen sink pulling out the first aid kit and some TCP. "Hands." He commanded at me. I winced slightly as he added it over the cuts cleaning out the wounds in my knuckles.

"So why are you here to see me?" I asked watching as he cleaned each cut out. It stung like a bitch and I wanted a cuddle from Edward to take the pain away.

"I think you know why I'm here, Jasper. You're a smart man, or so I'm lead to believe. Surely you know I spoke to Edward last night, and that I know all about your little kiss with your ex." He cocked an eyebrow at me as he placed a few plasters on the open knuckles.

"He told you?" I asked slightly shocked as I sat myself down. He simply nodded and handed me a hot cup of coffee along with two Anadin's for my headache.

"Oh yes, he told me all about it, just like how he told me about your drunken episode in the club last week. Jasper, there isn't much I don't know, just like I'm sure your friend Maria? Is that her name? Knows." He pulled the chair out and looked at me his eyes clocking and weighing everything up.

"How is he?" Garrett's huff told me it was a stupid question, I should have known better than to ask that.

"How do you think, Jasper? He's in love with you and saw you kissing your ex while he was hoping you would go to him. What was all that about?" He asked bringing the coffee cup up to his lips and taking a sip.

"He's in love with me?" I asked shocked. I thought he was falling for me like I was him, but I didn't know if he was already in love with me.

"Yes Jasper, he fell hard for you. Tell me why you were kissing your ex? Or is it now back on with her because Edward seems to think it is." Wiping my face with my hand I shook my head.

"No, she kissed me; it wasn't how he saw it. I know it looked like it from where he was standing, but she suddenly kissed me, not the other way around. I told her that it was over between us, that I didn't want her anymore, that it was too late after he had gone. It was all just bad timing." I whined out. Garrett nodded understandingly at me.

"I can understand that. So what is it that you want? Other than making a show in front of Edward with some girl and kissing your ex that you have now told you don't want anymore, what do you want?" He sat back and looked at me while I thought. I didn't really need to think, I knew what I wanted, but it just seemed like I should think before I answered.

"Edward, I want him, but I don't know how I can get him back now." I rested my head on the tabled sulking for a moment. Garrett cleared his throat causing me to look up.

"Jasper that is something you will have to figure out. You do realise Edward's issues here, don't you?" I shook my head. What issues? I never knew he had one.

"No?" I asked watching as Garrett sighed.

"It's not my place to discuss that information with you, but this is why he gave you that ultimatum, this is why he was so hurt by you yesterday and this is why he has a problem with trust. Give him some time to calm down. He wants you badly and he loves you, but he needs to cool off." Garrett finished his coffee and looked at the time.

"Will you be speaking to him again? Does he know you came here?" I asked watching as he pulled his jacket on.

"He doesn't know I came here, but I will speak to him and I will tell him that Alice was a misunderstanding, if that's all it was. Give him a few days and go and see him, see if he will talk. If not then you're going to have think of something. Jasper, I know this is hard for you, it's hard for him too, but if you love him then go to him. Don't wait around for life to correct itself. It could take years or it may never happen." He pulled his car keys out and smiled. "Remember that when you're huffing and sulking. I'll see myself out." I watched as Garrett left the house, closing the front door carefully behind him.

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I had decided that I would head back to my parents house the morning of Christmas Eve, figuring that I could nip over to his and see if I could talk to him, maybe blurt out my love for him in front of his family. That would show him I was in this, wouldn't it? Loading the car up I ran back into the now clean house. After Garrett had left I got to work cleaning the house back up after the mess I had made. Since Edward left I hadn't been to sleep in my own bed, picking to curl up in his covers and pretend he was next to me. Even though it was just for a few hours, it stopped the pain I was feeling for a short amount of time. Picking up his gift he gave me I pushed it into my back pocket, and picked up my coat, my keys hanging out of my mouth. I pulled my coat on and closed the front door, hoping the next time I came here he will be with me.

Flooring it most of the way I cut my drive time down by half. We didn't live far, but it was far enough when all I wanted to do was see him, to be with him. I wasn't the complete selfish bastard I had been acting, I was able to care, and love. I could be understanding, but I had chosen to bypass all of these traits and just become a cunt to him. He didn't deserve that, he didn't deserve to be treated the way he had been by me. He was worth more than that, a lot more. Would he see a way to forgive me and let me make this right? If he chose not to then it would be my fault and I wouldn't really have any grounds to stand and argue it with him.

I decided that I would go over to his parent's house first before heading to mine. I needed to try this first; I wasn't going to give up on the first bump in the road. I was willing to do what I needed to do to have him, if I wasn't too late. Pulling up at his parent's house I jumped out of my car and ran up the steps that lead to the front door. I remembered the times I had come here as a kid, the times I had come up these steps drunk with Edward. We had known each other since we were kids, there was too much to throw away. Ringing the doorbell I waited for him or anyone to answer the door.

"Jasper?" Esme's face smiled warmly at me. I returned the smile and dipped my head slightly.

"Is Edward in?" I asked. Her smile dropped slightly as she looked to the floor and back to me sighing.

"I'm sorry, Jasper, but Edward doesn't want to see you. Have you two had a fight?" She asked. I didn't really know what to say. Had he told her that we weren't speaking, that he was moving out over Christmas?

"Sort of. I just really need to see him. I really need to sort this out with him. I'm sorry Esme for bringing this to your door, but I really need to see your son." I pleaded with her hoping that she would let me in the house, give me those couple of seconds I so desperately needed to tell him how much I wanted him, to tell him I loved him.

"Jasper, I'm sorry, but I can't go against his wishes right now. He's really upset over something, give him a few days and let him calm down. I'll talk to him, okay? Come over in a few days time and maybe he'll talk to you." Her warm loving smile hit her face again. Of course she was going to respect his wishes, she wasn't about to let me in over her son.

"Thanks Esme, can you tell him I called round and tell him......." I paused. "Tell him I'm sorry." The feeling of being crushed hit me hard as I walked away from the house and back to my car.

It wasn't as though I expected him to come running out to me and hear me out, followed by being showered in kisses and love...... Well, okay, maybe I did deep down, but I knew in reality that wouldn't happen. I had hoped that he would at least come to the door and at least hear me out. Weren't all the years of friendship enough to warrant that? Pulling away from his house I could have sworn I saw him looking down from the landing window. My head snapped back to the window again, but he wasn't there. I was seeing things now, my mind was letting me see him when he really wasn't there, wasn't there to see me beg and plead my way into his home.

With my heart laying heavy I pulled up outside my parent's house. Their car wasn't in which was a good thing. I didn't want to see them just yet. I needed to get my head into gear, but there was a car on the drive that I wasn't expecting to see, Alice.

Groaning I opened the door to hear Rose and Alice chatting. Alice was busy telling her all about the trip to Paris for Valentine's. You have got to be fucking with me Alice; didn't you do enough damage the other night? Coming into the living room I narrowed my eyes at the scene in front of me. My sister and Alice both chatted and laughed together. I couldn't be really mad at Rose, Alice was a good friend of hers before she split, I was sure they had a lot catching up to do.

"Jazz, why didn't you tell me Alice was back in town? More to it why didn't you tell me that you and her were back together?" Rose asked as Alice grinned widely at me, bitch.

"Jazzy bear, I was just telling Rose about our trip to Paris." Anger raged inside of me. How could she actually sit there and tell my sister that? I wasn't going with her. I was going with one person only and if I couldn't go with him then I wasn't going at all.

"That's nice of you, Alice, shame you're not going with me." I seethed out through gritted teeth. Alice looked taken aback slightly.

"But...." She started as her eyes filled with tears. "You said, and why else would you have them?" She asked. I clenched and unclenched my fist.

"I never said anything. You did all the god damn talking, not me. You decided that we were going, not me. The gift wasn't even for you, but yet you opened it. It was for me Alice, for me." Rose sat looking, her face going from me to Alice. Enjoy the fucking show, Rose.

"But you.... then who are you going with? Sure this isn't about you and gay boy falling out? I swear he's a fucking drama queen. What did you do, ruin his pink top?" Something inside me snapped; something that I should have done the other night broke apart inside of me.

"Alice, don't call him that. He's not a drama queen. He happens to be a great guy and a great friend, one that I don't fucking deserve." I sucked in a deep breath and looked at her, she laughed slightly and patted her knee.

"Oh Jazz, I really did leave you alone too long. What's next, are you going to tell me you're going to Paris with him?" She laughed and Rose joined in with her. "Are you fucking him as well?" Their laughter seemed so much louder than it actually was. I saw red.

"YES!" I screamed shutting them both up. "I'm seeing Edward or was. Either way I want him and not you. Get out Alice, get fucking out!"

Turning sharply on my heels I bolted up the stairs to my room. I could hear the tears of Alice as I lay on my bed and closed my eyes. Had I really just done that? Had I really just come out like that and admitted that I had been seeing Edward? I don't know what came over me, but I knew I couldn't stand there and look at Rose's face. I didn't give a crap what Alice thought, but I cared what Rose thought, she was my twin, my fucking sister. Despite all the ups and downs we have had over the years, we were still family, we were still blood.

How would she look at me now? I hadn't pictured her finding out like this. I hadn't pictured me screaming it to Alice in front of my sister. Would she tell our parents? I didn't want them to know just yet. I had always wanted Edward to be with me when I told them. Could she keep it to herself for now?

"Jazz?" I lifted my head off my pillow and turned it slightly to see Rose's half smile on her face. "Can I come in?" She asked with only her head peeking around the door. I nodded and sat up pulling my knees up under my chin.

"You and Edward, huh?" She asked sitting herself on the bed. I buried my face in my arms. "You know for what it's worth, I don't care who you see just as long as you're happy, Jazz, but you're not happy right now, are you?" I shook my head and heard her sigh. "Want to tell me all about it?" I nodded and lifted my head up.

"I don't know where to begin, where to start at?" I pushed my curls off my face and looked at her blue eyes that held nothing but compassion.

"The start, like how you two became more than friends?" She pulled my hands from me and held them gently.

"You remember when he opened E2?" She nodded. "Then, I came on to him when he got home, and well one thing led to another......" I trailed off.

"And you slept together. Jazz, I'm shocked, I won't lie. The last thing I expected to hear was that you were dating Edward. So then what happened?" She asked squeezing my hands slightly reassuringly. I sucked in a deep breath and looked at her.

"We started dating, but I wasn't handling it well. Rose, I was so confused. I wanted him. I wanted him so bad, the tingly feeling I got when we touched, the way he set my skin on fire, I wanted that, but I didn't know how to have it. I was worried and scared how the world would see me if we were seen together, worried about what my friends and family would think knowing I was suddenly with a man." I tilted my head slightly and looked out the window sighing deeply.

"Last week it was works Christmas do. I had sorted it with Edward to have the VIP room. The new temp was out, fuck Rose, she's hot. I was drunk and I rubbed his face in it, trying to act normal so no one would know that we were seeing each other, only I ended up looking like a cunt. I let her all up on my lap in front of Edward and then when he flirted with another man I freaked out. We ended up in his office and he dumped me saying if I wanted him, wanted to be with him I had to go public with him." I didn't realise I was crying until Rose wiped my cheek.

"And what did you do?" She asked in a caring tone. I cringed as I thought about the week where I just sulked.

"I sulked and wouldn't go to him, and then Alice showed up the other night, wanting us to get back together. She kissed me and he saw it, it wasn't how it looked to him, but he wouldn't listen. I ran upstairs after him, but he was hurting and told me that he knew I would never be his and that I wouldn't go to him in the end. He told me he was moving out and that he hopes me and Alice like his gift. He bought the tickets for me and him to go Rose. I want him and I've lost him." I sobbed out. I hated that I was crying right now, that I was shedding tears, this wasn't something I did, I never cried, never.

"Have you tried to speak to him since then?" She asked rubbing my back and pulling me to her.

"I went there before I came here; he wouldn't even come to the door. Rose, I don't know what to do." And I didn't, how could I go public with him if I couldn't even see him?

"You'll figure it out, Jazz. I'm sure at some point he'll talk to you, but if he is really what you want and it looks like it is, then you'll figure it out." She soothed in my ear hugging me close to her.

"You... you're not mad?" I asked pulling away from her; she laughed and shook her head.

"You're still my baby brother no matter what, and it won't change if you bring Edward home at the holidays and not a woman. Jazz, we love you, you're an idiot sometimes and I wonder just how on earth I'm related to you, but it doesn't matter to me if you're fucking Edward or a woman. You have my support and I know you'll sort this out." I smiled at her.

"Thanks. You won't tell mum and dad yet, will you? I'm not really ready for them to hear this. I need to have Edward back first." She nodded and pushed my hair off my face.

"I won't breathe a word; it's between you and me, promise." She crossed her heart and offered me her pinkie. "Pinkie swear." She said as we twisted our pinkies around each other laughing over the childish game.

"Honest promise?" I chuckled out causing her to laugh even more.

"You can't break a pinkie honest promise." We laughed together over it. I felt relived to have told her, to have gotten it off my chest. Maria was great and had kicked my ass a few times over this, but hearing from my sister I had her support meant the world to me.

"Oh and you're not older, we're the same age in case you have forgotten?" Cocking an eyebrow at her she giggled and shook her head.

"I arrived two and a half minutes before you, which makes me older." I laughed as she looked proud of that fact. "It will be fine, Jazz, trust me. I know these things."

"Do you know this week's lotto numbers?" I chuckled out, she slapped my arm playfully.

"Don't get cheeky. Clean your face up, mum and dad will be home soon, so unless you want to explain I suggest you sort it out." She got up and walked to the door giving me a soft smile before she disappeared.

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**_Do we think Jasper is redeeming himself slightly? He seems to realise now what he has done and what he's losing. And he came out, well to Rose and Alice but its a start right?_**

**_Anyway my lovelys can have some lovely little reviews from my wonderful readers? _**

**_Jen x_**


	12. Chapter 12

_**AN/ Thnak you to everyone that reviewed the last chapter, I love reading your reviewsm they really do keep me writing.**_

**_I hoping you guys like this chapter more then the last one, it got the lowest reviews in the story so I'm hoping this will put a smile on your face and get you all reviewing. (begging much?)_**

**_There are a few things in here that hint to more of Edwards trust problems that he has, of course it's not all coming out just yet._**

**_Here's 12!_**

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_**EPOV**_

Was I hiding away from the world? Or more importantly Jasper? Yes, I was. The image of him kissing Alice would forever be locked inside my head. I guess I always knew he wouldn't come to me, when I screamed at him and gave him this ultimatum I knew then that all I was doing was sealing the end of our friendship and the end of whatever we had. Part of me thought I should have held back, I shouldn't have given him the ultimatum, but I did. I had too. I had to protect myself or risk getting badly hurt again. That wasn't what I wanted, the pain of knowing that once again I'd been taken for a fool. I wised up after the last time and maybe I was being stubborn, but at least I wasn't being sucked in.

It had always been her, Alice. She always held his heart. He loved her, I knew that. Everyone knew how much he loved her, how he had planned to wed her and have a family with her. His heart always belonged to her and no one else. The moment she appeared any chance of him coming to me was wiped clean off. Garrett had told me that things weren't as they seemed. That he had been to see Jasper and spoke to him, telling me that Jasper was pretty cut up about it, like I care now. Seeing his tongue down her throat hardly shows he's cut up over it, he's just cut up that now he can't play with my feelings or emotions.

I saw Jasper pull up outside my parents, saw him run up the steps and heard as he knocked on the door. I wanted to open the door and see him, wanted to hear what he had to say, but I knew I'd only get sucked back in if I did. I can't risk it. Cowardly and suddenly as it may seem I ran up the stairs and sent my mum to the door telling her I didn't want to see him. They didn't know what happened; just that something had gone off. I was not about to tell them that I fucked my best friend and then tried to have a relationship with him. It would lead to questions that I didn't want to answer, questions that I would sooner not hear. I knew better than this, better than to spill my problems to them. They loved me and supported me and were there if I needed them, but I didn't want the talking glances or the deep sighs that tell you you've fucked up yet again. It was better to keep them in the dark than bring them into the light. I had other people I could talk to. My network of people I trusted with my problems was small but supportive.

There was nothing more I wanted than for us to work. I had fallen in love with him even though I tried not to, tried to stop myself from falling for him. I failed. My heart rejoiced in the warm electrical current that ran between us when we touched, everything about him pulled me in, sucked me into the magical love that you dream you'll one day feel running through your veins with every heartbeat. I loved him and there was nothing there, it was like it was one way, that only I felt it. Surely if he felt it too then this mess wouldn't have happened.

My heart crashed and stopped, pain ripped through it as I listened to Jasper plead with my mother to see me while I hid upstairs on the landing. His voice was full of pain and sorrow as he pleaded. I could have gone down, could have seen him and I almost did until he said the word 'sorry'. That stopped me from moving, glued my feet to the floor as his sorry went around my head. Sorry wasn't what I wanted to hear. He could be saying sorry for so many things, sorry was the last thing I wanted or needed to hear. So I stood there and listened as the door closed in front of him, watched as he walked down the steps and to his car, and watched as his eyes locked with mine for a spilt second before moving away from the window and walking downstairs to where my mother was waiting in the wings to hear just what had gone off between the two of us. Walking past her I ignored the look she gave me and headed into the kitchen grabbing a can of coke out of the fridge that more than likely I'd open, take a sip, and then let it go flat.

"What?" I grumbled out knowing my mother was standing behind me.

"Edward..... Honey, what's happened between you and Jasper?" I shrugged. What else could I say or do? "You're telling me you don't know? I don't believe that for a second. Tell me what's gone off; you two have been friends for years." I flicked the lid on the coke can repeatedly, knowing it would get on her nerves and hopefully she'd leave me alone.

"Stop that, Edward." She snatched the can out of my hands and looked at me as though I was five again. "Edward, you arrived here early upset, you won't speak to Jasper, what the hell has happened? And don't shrug your shoulders either. I want an answer." She glared at me waiting for me to speak. I didn't know what to say to her. The truth was out of the question; even part of the truth would bring up too many questions.

I sighed and clenched my jaw, I was sulking. How was it that your parents could make you feel like a little child no matter what age you're at?

"Just leave it, please mum, leave it alone and let me deal with it." I grumbled out picking my can back off the side and taking a swig.

"I won't leave it or let you deal with it. Remember what happened last time when you wouldn't speak?" I looked at the floor. _Please don't bring that up. _I prayed. "Me and your father still remember and I'm sure we will for a while to come." Make me feel worse, why don't you.

"This is nothing like that. Am I going to get this thrown in my face every time I don't want to share my personal business?" I snapped back at her.

"I'm worried about you, that's all, you're my son. You turned up here in tears the other day and you won't speak to us, you won't talk to either of us. Edward, please." _Please don't cry, please don't cry._ Bringing my eyes up to meet her I saw the tears collecting waiting to fall. Oh fuck mum, don't play this card on me. "Edward, please." She croaked out.

"I got involved with a guy I shouldn't have, happy now?" She gasped at me while I counted to ten waiting for the questions to arrive.

"Not again. Edward, didn't you learn last time?" She asked placing her hands on her hips and looking at me.

"It's not like last time. Bloody hell mum, give me a break. I'm not that stupid!" I protested at her causing her to laugh slightly.

"Really? Edward, look at what happened the last time you got involved with someone you shouldn't have. How is this any different from the last time? Hmm?" I rolled my eyes.

"See, this is why I didn't say anything, because you would jump down my throat and start this shit with me. Not everything is the same. This is different and I would like it if you left it alone." I watched as she placed her hands on the countertop behind her and shook her head slightly.

"And Jasper?" She asked. Would the questions ever end?

"What about him?" I guess I was acting more like a teenager than a fully grown man, but so fucking what? She may be my mother, but that didn't mean she had to know every detail of my life.

"Your best friends with him...." She started. I snorted almost laughing at her choice of words.

"EX best friend." She didn't realise he was in fact my ex, though would you actually class him as an ex? He couldn't even call me his boyfriend; I was just some guy he fooled around with while waiting for that fucking bitch to return.

"You have known him far too long Edward for your friendship to suddenly end like this. What's gone off?" She pushed again. Why can't you understand that I don't want to talk about it? Why can't she grasp that I wanted it to be left alone? Was I speaking a different language now?

"Yeah well, it did, and the years we have known each other mean nothing now. Please just leave it. Can you respect my wishes just this once?" I pleaded with her. Why couldn't it just be left alone?

"I just want to help. Maybe talking about it will help." She reasoned coming closer to me. I loved my mum, but sometimes she just didn't get it when I wanted to be left alone.

"Well, maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and turn straight because lord knows a man doesn't want me so I might have more fucking luck with the female race." Picking up the can of coke off the side I bolted out of the kitchen and up to my old room.

Maybe that's what I needed to do, change the person I was to find just that small little piece of happiness because being me wasn't working. Why did I have to fall for Jasper? Why now? Out of all the men I'd ever dated why didn't I fall this way for them? Why was it my ex straight best friend who I just so happened to fuck one night and fall for? It wasn't fair that this had to happen. Surely most people who felt that spark didn't go through all of this, did they?

I should have never wasted my time or money, what possessed me to buy fucking tickets to Paris for Valentine's? I should have known then when I bought them that he wouldn't want to go. No, he would, but not with me. Every little crazy dream had played around my head as I fell harder for him only to be left broken-hearted at the end of it all. At least I saved myself some pain; at least I stopped it now before I fell even more for him and ended up broken by it. I had wanted to take him away; I wanted to be alone with him, to have that normal relationship, why couldn't I have that? Why couldn't I just once be allowed something that's equal?

At the very start I told him I didn't want to be some toy, some experiment and I ended up just being that. Garrett could tell me whatever he likes; he could believe Jasper's lies about him and Alice. I know what I saw. He was hardly fighting her off. In fact, it looked as though he made no attempt to get her off until he heard me. How far would it have carried on if I hadn't walked in when I did? I wondered what she would think if I told her just what had been happening while she was away. Part of me wanted to tell her, but another part of me didn't see the point. She had him, she had what I wanted and going there and telling her about Jasper and me would only make me look bitter from the rejection. That wasn't about to happen. I may be bitter over it, but that didn't mean I was about to give her or anyone else the satisfaction of knowing just how bitter I was over it, or how much I was hurting. Though I guessed Jasper would know when he opens my gift, that's if he hasn't already opened it. He'll know just how much I had fallen once he sees the tickets there in his hands, the tickets that I had I bought while hoping we would go together. I wondered if he had already opened them and if he will pass them off as his own special gift to Alice. If he hasn't, how is he going to explain that his gift was from me? I was sure the questions of why I would buy him something like that would come up.

Cranking up the stereo I blasted out things I hadn't listened to in years, while I tried to forget about Jasper and the fuzzy sparks I had gotten whenever we touched. Lying on my back with my hand behind my head I closed my eyes and listened to sounds of Fat Boy Slim, as the CD changed track in a random order I heard someone clear their throat. Snapping my eyes open I felt the presence before I saw the person. Turning my head I saw Jasper standing on the other side of my room, his head slightly down looking at me. _Thanks a fucking lot, mum! _I thought as I narrowed my eyes at him. He made a small step towards me and stopped as I hit the remote for the CD player, turning it down.

"What do you want?" I asked sitting up on my bed and looking at him, he looked tired. I noticed the bruising on his knuckles. Part of me wanted to ask him if he was alright, ask him what happened, I wanted to know if he was fine, but I couldn't bring myself to ask him.

"Edward, let me explain, please. Five minutes, then I'll go, just let me explain this before I go out of my mind." Closing my eyes I took a deep breath in and nodded before going into my bedside drawer, pulling out a small tin. I placed it on the bed and got up to open the large window in my room

"Go on then. Please don't try and lie, spare me that." Opening the small tin I took out the weed and the rizla paper. Jasper looked at me. I shrugged and continued to roll up.

"Me and Alice, we're not together or back together, it was a misunderstanding. She kissed me, Edward. She wanted us to make things right, to have another go at it. I admit I didn't even try and force her away, when I should have. But I don't want her." Looking at him as I lit the joint I inhaled deeply.

"So I heard. That doesn't change much though, does it?" Taking another drag I blew the smoke out and rolled the burning end in the ashtray so I didn't get hot rocks.

"Not much. I want you, Edward. She had no right turning up and doing what she did. I even found her at my parent's house telling Rose all about me and her being back together. Fuck Edward, I know I've acted like a complete and utter cunt to you. I've disrespected you and treated you like dirt, I didn't think about you when I dug my heels in and told you I wouldn't even call you my boyfriend. I was scared and instead of facing my fears I ran from them. I don't want Lauren or Alice. I don't even want a woman. I want you, Edward." I took a sip of my now flat coke and relit my joint.

"Really?" Why did all this sound so rehearsed? It was as though he had spent hours planning out his little talk.

"Really, Edward. I told Rose and Alice about us. I screamed it at the top of my lungs to get her out of my parent's house. I want this. I love you." By now he had walked his way to where I was sitting on the bed and was now sitting on the edge of it.

"Words that are said so often and yet are meant by so little." I took another drag and passed it to him.

"But I mean them. I know it doesn't seem like I do, but I swear to you Edward, I mean them." He took a long drag and smiled slightly. "Remember when we got stoned and thought it would be a good idea to dip the joints in Poppers? Fuck, I thought my head was gonna explode." He chuckled slightly; I half smiled at the memory of it.

"I want to call you...." He breathed in deeply. "My boyfriend, Edward." My head snapped up from looking at my fingers to his face. "Please." He whispered to me.

"To my face or to other people?" I asked as I watched him blow out the white grey smoke. He smiled at me flashing his teeth at me in a goofy grin.

"Both. I'm scared, but I'm going to do this. I'll go public. Fuck, Edward, I'll run around the neighbourhood screaming it, just let me have this, let me have a few days to sort it out, to pick my time to tell my family. Please." He passed the joint back to me. "May I?" He asked leaning to grab my can of coke off the side.

"It's a little flat." I remarked as he grabbed it. He shrugged his shoulders and took a sip.

"Your can's normally are." He smiled. "Edward?" He asked again lying on his side looking at me with hopeful eyes. "I know what I want."

"And you're willing to go public?" I had to ask him, I had to make sure.

"New Year's, I promise. New Year's Eve I'll go public in front of everyone." Taking another drag of the joint I could feel it altering my senses, relaxing me as I looked at him.

"So you told Rose and Alice at the same time?" He nodded at me whilst taking another drink of coke.

"Yeah, Rose was.... understanding and said she didn't care." He smiled and looked down before looking back at me. "Does this mean were back on, that I can call you my boyfriend?" Putting the joint out I laid on my back turning my head towards him.

"No fucking around this time, no letting some dirty little slut get on your lap?" I asked him rolling onto my side.

"No fucking around, no sluts on my lap. I know this won't be easy, but I know I'll do this. New Year's, I promise." Without really thinking I reached out and touched his face, his head turned into my hand.

"New Years Eve, Jazz. I want to believe you, really I do, so how about this?" I took my hand away off the side his face. "We'll talk and carry on as friends and if you do what you promised then we'll get back together." His face fell slightly

"You don't believe me?" He asked looking down at the bedspread.

"I do, Jazz. Well, sort of. Jazz, there are things I need to explain to you, but I need to know you're in this, really in this. I just don't want to agree to something and then for you to not go through with it because you have what you want." His head came up sighing. Was this really all talk and that he wasn't actually going to go public like he said?

"Okay, fine. New Years Eve it is then." He smiled. "What do you need to explain?" I sighed and ran my hand through my hair.

"Just things." I wasn't ready to explain those things just yet to him.

"I better go." Reaching up to him I placed my lips against his soft full lips, relishing in the feel of the simple touch before pulling away smiling. "New Year's Eve I'll go public, and then will you be with me when I tell my parents?" He asked as we walked out of my room.

The house was now silent and in darkness, I smiled and nodded my head at him, hoping that he would do what he promised. I needed this, needed him to go public with me even though I knew he was scared. I was scared when I came out, but it's better than living a lie.

"I'll be there, babe." When we reached the front door he turned to me smiling lacing his fingers through mine.

"Thank you, Paris for Valentine's, huh?" He asked cocking an eyebrow, I chuckled slightly.

"You opened it?" I questioned. He shook his head and looked down taking a few shaky breaths.

"Alice opened it when I came upstairs to try and explain to you, sorry." He lifted his head and looked at me. "But I'm looking forward to going with you." His lips met mine again, just once, gently. "Merry Christmas, babe." He whispered smiling at me.

"Merry Christmas."

Opening the front door the cold air from outside came crashing into the house causing us both to shiver. His hands broke apart from mine as he walked down the steps smiling towards his car. I stood and watched him drive away. Errors of doubt ran through me as I thought that maybe these were lies, that Jasper coming here promising me things I wanted were just lies. It wouldn't be the first time that I had been lied to like this.

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**_So Edward is giving Jasper a chance to redeem himself, are we all happy?_**

**_Any reviews are like hugs when your feeling ill and I'm coming down with something :( Pleade hit the review button my lovelys, Jen x_**


	13. Chapter 13

_**AN/ Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, I am getting round to replying to everyone but you know time is short at the moment. But I really do love each review I get and I can't express just how happy I get when I see them.**_

**_Did you all miss me yesterday? My head was all over the place friday night and my old is having some serious effect with the boys, they don't want to play right at the moment, they keep going back to It's Fate, which I updated yesterday, and wanting me to write that._**

**_I hope you all get the update for this, FFN is playing up as I'm sure you all know and the emails aren't getting through so hopefully you guys will have seen it in the archive._**

**_Oh and a big thank you to Dilmn8 who gave mentioned this is a review and I loved it so much I had to add it._**

**_Here's 13!_**

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_**JPOV**_

Christmas had been a whirlwind of presents, family and drinking and while I enjoyed it one thing was always at the forefront of my mind, going public. The thought scared me right to the very pit of my stomach. It wasn't being with Edward that scared me; it was what everyone would think, with me suddenly switching sides like this. Would my friends suddenly think I fancied them? As scared as I was over doing this I knew I had to do it, had to come out and show Edward I wasn't ashamed to be with him.

I had spoken to Edward a few times over the break. I hadn't actually seen him since Christmas Eve, but we had been on the phone to each other nearly every day. I could hear his doubt over me becoming public on New Year's Eve. His disbelief and distrust was caused by more than what happened between us. I didn't know what had happened for him to doubt me, but whatever it was had affected him deeply, and what I had done had only added to that.

Over the last days I had done a lot of thinking and decided that thinking was one of my big problems. I had been so caught up in the differences between soft curves and soft beautiful breasts to hard strong lines of muscle and firm pecs that I hadn't actually thought about what was making me happy. I would always love the female body, but that didn't mean I couldn't love a man's body or more pointedly, Edward's body. That, that right there was what was important. I was scared of doing things with Edward before because I didn't know a man's body. Yeah, I knew mine, but I hadn't had any experience with a man other than Edward. That scared me. I was out of my comfort zone, into waters unknown. Surely what I liked Edward would like? All women are turned on by the basic flicking or licking of the bean and nibbles on nipples, their breasts being fondled, kisses on their neck, it was pretty universal. So with that being said wouldn't the same rules apply to a man? You know the pretty universal thing, what I like and turns me on chances are Edward would also like. Maybe with slight changes, but the basics he would like, wouldn't he?

I was over-thinking it all again, he's not back with me, not yet. We may have spoken on the phone everyday and shared a kissed before I left on Christmas Eve, but unless I went public tonight we would be off, end of story. I didn't know what to do. How would be the best way to come out in front of everyone? I had a week to think about this and yet I had come up with nothing.

"Jazz?" I lifted my head from the laptop. I had been on my stomach on top of my bed staring at the same page for the last half hour while I thought.

"Yeah?" Rosalie grinned and walked in, almost skipping towards me. "What you after?" I asked looking at her trying to work out what she wanted.

"Who says I want anything? Can I not just come see my little brother?" She smiled angelically at me.

"Younger by two and a half minutes, and I know that look, you're after something." The smile crept even wider if that was at all possible. "Out with it." The tone of my voice showcased an amused, but pissed off tone playfully.

"How are you going to come out to Edward?" I frowned slightly. "Surely you have thought about it. Are you just going to grab his hand and kiss him in front of everyone or are you going to go for something a little more romantic?" She sat herself down and ran her fingers through the ends of her hair, almost as though she was stroking it.

She was after something, her asking me how I was coming out tonight was just small talk. It wasn't as though we hadn't talked this through already because we had. She knew I had a few ideas of what I was going to do, so why was she asking me now?

"Come on Rose, what you after?" She grinned widely at me, and took hold of my hand.

"You know I love you, right?" I nodded. "Well I want your car." My eyes flicked up to her, watching as she pleaded with her eyes.

"And what's wrong with yours? The last I checked it was sitting outside looking all purple and pretty." She pulled a face at me, letting a long drawn out sigh and tapping her finger against her red lips.

"I know, but yours is bigger. I can't get anything in mine. Please Jazzy, pretty please with cream and cherries and everything else that you love." She begged turning herself into a child.

"It's fucking purple Rose, purple!" I screamed. I loved her car, but I wasn't a fan of purple. It looked better in jet black or electric blue, but not purple.

"But you said you love my car." She pleaded. "You said you would have one for a Sunday morning car, please Jazz. I need the room. I will do anything for you, anything, hand on heart." I groaned.

"It's purple." I stated.

"It's a beautiful car." She replied.

"It is, the Z4 is a stunning piece of metal, but it's purple." I pressed; she giggled and winked at me.

"Just think you can look like a full gay bunny instead of a semi-gay bunny." She giggled out. _What the fuck?_

"Gay bunny? Rose, what the fuck?" I asked her as she threw her head backing laughing at me, I was un-amused.

"You're like a semi-gay bunny, Jazz. Look at the car as making a statement, fully coming out and turning into a beautiful full gay bunny." You have to be taking the fucking piss with me.

"Ha fucking Ha. Do I look like a bunny? Do I? Less of this semi-gay bunny shit, it goes no further than you and me. Okay?" She bit her bottom lip. "Rose?" I pressed.

"Jazz, he thought of it, not me, honestly. Okay, that's not true, but he thought it was a great name for you, you're his semi-gay bunny." She grinned as though she had just done something amazing.

"Who is he?" _Please not Edward, Please not Edward, Please not Edward._ I chanted over and over in my head.

"Edward." She admitted. Oh fuck off, Rose, he'll rip me for weeks over this, great.

"JASPER! GET DOWN HERE NOW!" I heard my mother's voice shout at me, I groaned outwardly. I was a fully grown man, I didn't even live here anymore, yet she still finds it in herself to shout at me as through I was fourteen again.

Pushing the laptop away I rolled off the edge of the bed and headed down the stairs. I needed to get dressed; I was due to be leaving here in an hour. I hope this wasn't going to be one of those, 'I just want to spend some time with my son.' crap because it's New Year's Eve. I froze in my tracks. My expression dropped off my face as I saw the little evil bitch sitting on the sofa in tears. My parent's faces were red with anger. _Oh, what now?_

"This isn't true, is it? What she is saying?" My dad asked, straining to keep his voice in order. I blinked a few times trying to think of what she might have said to them but was coming up empty.

"Depends what she said." My eyes narrowed as I looked at Alice who let out a fresh wave of tears, Oscar winning performance by her.

"That you're sleeping with...... with Edward; that you have been for a while." My world just froze, they knew, the bitch had told them.

"When did you turn gay? No, when did he force you into sleeping with him." My father's voice demanded.

"What force me? He never forced me to do anything. I came onto him, not the other way around." I said defending Edward. I couldn't believe that bitch had the nerve to turn up here and tell them.

"According to Alice, Edward has been forcing you for some time." I laughed.

"You do not seriously believe her over me, are you?" I could see the slight smile on her lips; the bitch had achieved what she had set out to do.

"We never said that, but is there some truth in this?" My father asked, his face still bright red with fury.

"I'm seeing Edward, and I have been for over a month." I sighed looking at the floor, my parents weren't taking this well.

"You're gay and you never bothered to tell us, to tell your own parents that we raised a faggot, this is how little we mean to you, Jasper? Your ex comes to tell us because you can't face doing it yourself." Looking at my mother, her face covered in pain as she wept to herself, they were disappointed in what I had become, all because I fell for Edward and not a woman.

"You're disgusted?" My voice whispered out. Rose touched my shoulder giving me a gentle squeeze.

"Disappointed, disgusted, you name it. What is the matter with you?" My father asked me. He let out a long sigh and looked at Alice. "Thank you for telling us. Lord knows Jasper wouldn't have come out with it if you had never brought it to our attention." She smiled at them and nodded standing.

"You fucking bitch, you had no right." I hissed as she walked past me, she smiled at me all sweet and innocent.

"No, but they had a right to now, don't you think?" So much of me wanted to smash her face in, in that spilt second I could see why a man would hit a woman. She had crossed all kinds of lines by coming here.

The look on their faces will forever be with me, the disappointment, the hurt in me for not coming out and telling them myself. I could tell them that I had planned to with Edward being with me. I could tell them how everything between Edward and I wasn't as clean cut as they thought, that there were things that had happened and that we weren't really together at the moment because I hadn't come out in public with him yet, but there was no point, the damage was already done. They were disgusted in me, disgusted that I was seeing a man and not a woman. This was what I was afraid of, my parents rejecting me, looking at me as though I was dirty and disgusting.

"I'm sorry, it just happened." My father shook his head at me. I knew what was coming before the words left his mouth, before he began to speak them. I knew just what he was going to say to me.

"These things don't just happen, Jasper, you either are or not." I hadn't moved from the spot I was on since I first entered the living room.

"Well this just did, you never had a problem with Edward being gay." I was grasping at straws and they knew it. Rose was still by my side, but hadn't said a word. At least I had someone in my corner.

"Edward isn't our son, if his parents choose to accept who he is, then who are we to argue? You though Jasper are our son, we didn't raise you to be a fag. It's not normal what you're doing, it goes against nature; in the eyes of god you are breaking his law." Umm when did they give a shit about god or the bible?

"Breaking his law? What the fuck?" My anger was kicking in masking the pain I was feeling. I wanted to turn back time and start this again, but I couldn't.

"Get out! Get out, I will not have a gay son, you weren't raised that way and you weren't born that way. Get out of my house and don't come back." My father screamed at me.

My whole body shook; a mixture of anger and pain hit me. My eyes started to sting, feeling the rejection of my parents was hard to take. I bolted up the stairs to my old room, pushing the door open and grabbed my things and threw them in my bag as my face streamed with tears. This wasn't meant to happen, they were meant to support me no matter what, not reject me and make me feel dirty and disgusting.

Throwing my bag over my shoulder I grabbed my car keys and ran down the stairs opening the front door and slamming it behind me. I didn't even look as I pulled off the drive and onto the road. I thought my family would support me, wasn't my happiness more important? Didn't that count more than anything? I was in love with Edward. I wanted to be with him. He made me happy and my family couldn't accept that, well other than Rose. If my family can't accept it then how will my friends take it? Will they reject me like my own fresh and blood did? I hadn't seen Edward go through this, everyone, well most were fine with him being with another man, would that change now? Looking at the clock I realised it was gone ten, I should have been at the club hours ago, ready to go public and show the world that I was with Edward. Was he wondering where I was? Did he think that I wasn't coming, that I didn't mean what I said to him?

My head was so fucked right now. I needed to see Edward and talk to him, but I had promised him that I would come out. Would he bother to speak to me even though I haven't gone public? I hoped so. I needed him right now, needed him to tell me that everything was going to be alright even if it wasn't. Parking up outside the club I looked at the long queue of drunken people waiting to get in. They were all dressed to the nines and I was in a pair of old jeans and hooded jumper. I didn't look like I should be entering a night club; there was a dress code here. Thankfully I knew the guys on the door and I knew that they would let me in.

Bypassing the doors I paid no attention to the looks I got or the remarks that were made. I had one thing on my mind and that was finding Edward. I just needed to see him; I didn't know where he was in the club. I took a guess and headed towards the VIP longue, as I came through the doors I spotted Edward looking pissed off against the side of the bar. I smiled seeing him. I knew I looked crap. My eyes were more than likely red from the tears I had shed. He hadn't looked up at me as I made my way across the room. I saw Emmett and Seth and waved quickly to them, not stopping until I reached Edward. His face was hard as he looked up at me, but softened the moment he saw my face.

"Jazz, what's wr..." I sucked in a deep breath knowing our friends were now looking and wondering what had happened and crashed my lips hard against his.

He froze and I suddenly wondered if maybe I had made the wrong move, if he had decided that he didn't want me or us anymore. My fears melted away as he relaxed and wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me closer to him. I felt complete now wrapped up in his arms as our tongues explored one another's mouths. We broke apart my forehead rested against his as he smiled.

"Is that public enough for you?" I whispered making him chuckle. I suddenly felt self-conscious knowing that I had just attracted a lot of attention. Even though my heart was beating wildly in my chest I didn't move from his embrace. I didn't bother to remove my arms that were locked around his neck, I felt safe.

"Are you okay?" He asked paying no attention to what was going on around him, around us. I bit my lip to stop it from trembling. I couldn't cry, not here, not right now. I couldn't embarrass myself that way.

"No." I choked out in a whisper shaking my head. Edward seemed to realise that this wasn't about what I had just done, though he saw my face when I first walked in here. He knew something had happened.

Taking my hand he led me through the crowded longue towards the stairs that lead to his office. I looked over at our friends whose mouths hung open catching flies. I knew they would ask questions, but right now I didn't care. I didn't care if the whole fucking world rejected me, though that would change once I had calmed myself down. Nothing could compare to the pain I was feeling having my parents reject me this way. I never thought my parents would ever turn their backs on me. I wasn't a bad guy to have as a son. I worked hard, had a good well paid job in accounts. I have never been arrested, being chased by the cops doesn't count. I had taken the odd drug here and there, smoked the odd bit of weed every now and then, but other than that I had never done anything, anything to warrant being rejected by them, other than falling in love with my best friend.

Edward pushed the door to his office open pulling me inside and closing the door behind us. His hand was still locked into mine and even though he had tried to break our hands I wouldn't let him squeezing that little bit tighter. Taking me around the back of his desk he unlocked the drawer with one hand pulling out the same bottle of whiskey and two glasses that he had done the night I came here after we first slept together. Spinning the top of it with one hand he poured out two glasses and handed me one. I knocked it back without a second thought and placed my glass back down. He looked at me with questioning eyes trying to figure out what was wrong. I simply nodded at him, watching as he poured out another drink for me.

"Jazz?" His soft caring tone gave me the strength I needed right now when I felt as though the plug had been pulled from my world.

"That fucking bitch, that evil fucking bitch." I started sitting myself down and the edge of the desk, my hand still holding onto his.

"Alice, I take it?" He asked. I nodded. "What has she done?" I sucked in a few deep breaths trying to slow my breathing down. I hadn't realised how fast or how hard I was actually breathing until now.

"They know, my fucking parents know about us, she..... that fucking little bitch turned up and told them. She told them it had been going on for months, told them you forced me into this." His eyes flashed with anger.

"Where is she?" His low stern voice hitting my ears, I didn't answer. "Where is she, Jasper? Tell me where she is." He demanded, his temper was getting the better of him.

"Edward, please don't. Not now, I need you." I pleaded. I didn't care if he hunted her down later, if he threw her off the highest building he could find, that could happen later. I just needed him to be with me for now. He sighed and wrapped his arms around me holding me close to him.

"I'm here, baby, I'm here. What else happened?" I pushed my face into his chest breathing in a mixture of his lush scent and the aftershave he was wearing. Inhaling deeply I felt myself relax into him.

"They said they didn't want to see me, that they didn't raise a faggot of a son, that I wasn't born that way. I told them it just happened, that you never forced me into anything, that I came onto you, but they wouldn't listen. They said they were disgusted in me, that they were disappointed, and that I had broken god's law." My lips trembled and this time I didn't fight it. Breaking into tears Edward only held me tighter, held me closer to him, comforting me.

"I'm sorry, Jazz, so sorry, baby." He soothed into my ear while I cried. What the fucking fuck was I doing? I was crying like a girl, a fucking girl. What fucking next?

"I don't cry and yet I'm fucking crying like a bitch, what the fuck?" I pulled back laughing slightly. Edward smiled and ran his fingertips under my eyes.

"Rejection by your family will do that, don't worry." He sighed and sat himself down. "They will calm down, Jazz, your parents won't reject you forever. They're more upset that you didn't tell them than you being with me. This sort of thing should have come from you and not someone else. They're angry baby, give them time to adjust. They love you, you're their son. They won't turn their backs on you." He spun the golden coloured whiskey around in his glass.

I knew he was trying to comfort me, but I wasn't stupid. I knew that there was a chance that they would never accept me while I was with Edward. This was what I had to now deal with, them and others.

"But they might not. Ed, I have heard you before when you have mentioned a friend coming out and their parents rejecting them. Mine might never accept me again, then what?" I downed the rest of my whiskey and looked at Edward who rubbed the corners of his eyes, screwing his face slightly.

"What do you mean?" He asked. I sighed picking the label on the whiskey bottle.

"As long as I'm with you they may never accept me." His face frowned and hurt flashed in his eyes. I wished I hadn't said anything.

"Well that would be up to you, Jazz, that's your choice. You can be with me and risk your family always rejecting you or break it off with me and have them accept you. But wouldn't that be doing just what they want?" He asked sipping his whiskey.

"They're my family, Edward, but I want you." I grumbled out. Edward placed his glass down on the desk and looked at me picking up both my hands.

"Jazz, they will come round. Your parents aren't stuck in the past, they're open-minded. It's just a shock to them and it coming from the devil only made it worse. My mum cried for days Jazz when I came out wondering why her son was gay when all his friends were straight. She wondered if she would ever have grandchildren and all that, but she came round. In the end she realised that my happiness was more important than what the world classes as 'normal' and yours will do the same. They're coming to terms with it just like you had to." He flashed me a smile. "It will work itself out, baby."

I smiled slightly pulling him by his hands up to me placing his body in between my legs. My hands rested on his back, my legs wrapped around him, holding him in place, close to me. Our lips met setting my body on fire. Edward moaned into the kiss. I took the chance and slid my tongue into his mouth. I whimpered when he pulled away from me making him chuckle.

"Can we go home? I know it's New Year's Eve, but I just want to be alone with you." Did that make me sound desperate?

"Sure, I don't need to hang around." He took my hand and walked towards the door. "I never did say thank you for going public. I know it was scary for you, but I'm happy you did it." He kissed me once, gently on my lips. His wonderful soft lips on mine were like heaven.

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**_Isn't Alice a right bitch for doing that to Jasper? But big yay Jasper went public with Edward! I had thought of a different way how he was going to go pubic but Jasper had other ideas._**

**_So my lovely readers can you hit the review button and send me some love, you never know what you might get in the next chapter ;)_**

**_Jen x_**


	14. Chapter 14

_**AN/ Thank you so much for all the reviews for the last chapter, I'm so happy that FFN is now working and emails are now coming through, but I woke up this morning to my Blackberry having 100 emails for me to go through so I haven't gone through most of them yet I will however reply to all the reviews at some point, but I am completely gratefully for them all.**_

**_If you haven't already checked out the latest chapter for It's Fate please do so as I left a nice treat in there for you all :)_**

**_Well I'm like the gift that keeps on giving and I have a very nice treat in this chapter all for you all, Santa came early again!_**

**_Here's chapter 14!_**

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_**EPOV**_

It was the happiest and saddest day of my life. I had thought he wasn't going to show, as the night wore on and the time passed me by I had started to believe that he wasn't going to show, that he had chickened out of this; that he had thought twice about us. Seeing him in the club, in front of me the pain carved in his face just inches from mine, the red rims of his eyes, the fresh wet stains that ran down his beautiful face made my heart break.

There was no doubt or uncertainty in his eyes, just pure determination as his lips met mine. I was shocked. I guess part of me always thought that he wouldn't come out, I guess I was wrong.

His hand stayed in mine tightly as we left the club and made our way home. I was proud of him for going public. I know he was scared of doing this, and after his parents reacted badly to it I can only guess that this was even harder than it was before. The fucking bitch caused this mess, the nasty little fucker better never run into me. I don't believe in hitting women, but this bitch will certainly feel the end of my fist if I ever see her. What gave her the god-given right to tell his parent's his business? I was sure that if he had told them that things would be a little different to what they are right now. I was worried that Jasper's parents rejecting him would make him over-think everything between us and that he would in the end choose that his parent's wishes were more important then what we had. His family meant a lot to him as mine did to me. I would be crushed if my own parent's decided that they would reject me because I was gay, but I wouldn't change who I was for them. I wouldn't stop being gay and try it out with a woman just to please them, that's not me. I wouldn't do that. I don't know if Jasper would do the same or not. His life was now a complete mess, his strong network, his backbone had just been removed and Jasper was left how we all are deep down, just a scared man who needs his parent's.

It's amazing how much of an effect our parents have on us when they choose to reject or embrace the life you choose. It can change who you are because of it. I was lucky that when I came out that my parent's didn't reject me for being gay. Instead once they wrapped their head around it they embraced me for me. A lot of my friends haven't been that lucky, because of their parent's rejection they have been left with scars that stop them from being so open about their sexuality. It's not just as children that our parents impact and imprint our lives, it happens as adults as well. We still look for their approval no matter how old we get or what we do, we still turn to look at them and want them to support us. When they don't it rips through the very foundations of your being.

I hoped that Jasper's parents just needed a sort of cool down period where they needed to come to terms with it. Parents have hopes and dreams for their children and when we go against it and throw a spanner in the works it can take them some time to adjust to this. I guess finding out your son is now dating another man could be a little bit hard to take, even more so when it came from the devil herself. Bitch!

Jasper had left his car parked outside the club choosing to get a taxi home instead of driving. He wasn't in any state to drive, on top of his anger and tears he had been knocking back the drink. Jasper would end up wrapping the car around a tree if he was left to drive. Paying the taxi I followed Jasper to the front door watching as he actually shook in front of my eyes. My poor baby was suffering. I wanted to comfort him, but I didn't want to overcrowd him. I was worried that this could just be temporary while his anger raged through him only to over-think and reject me in the morning.

"Edward... please." He begged as the front door closed behind us. I wasn't sure just what he was begging for as I flicked the hallway lights on.

"What do you need, baby?" He let out a long sigh and closed his eyes for a second. When he opened them his eyes had darkened a few shades.

"You.... please just make me happy. Take my pain away, please." He moved closer to me taking hold of my hand. "Make love to me.... please. Edward, I need you..... don't reject me, please." He trembled slightly biting his bottom lip looking at me. "Please." He whispered as he let go of my hand and wrapped his arms around my waist, his face buried in the crook of my neck.

"Jazz, I'll never reject you, but are you sure?" Comforting him was one thing, leaving myself open was another. Of course I wanted him, I had wanted him for weeks since this whole thing started, but I wasn't sure if now was the right time.

"I need you... need to feel you..... I'm one hundred percent sure. I'm with you, I want you." He murmured against my neck before trailing kisses across my skin. "You're my boyfriend, Edward, please." I moaned lightly as he sucked on the curve of my neck. Pulling his head up and back to me I kissed him feverishly, tugging bits and pieces of clothing off as I pulled him towards the stairs.

Not content with undoing the buttons on my shirt Jasper ripped the shirt clean open, sending buttons flying everywhere. I smiled against his lips loving the more forceful and domineering Jasper. Pushing open my bedroom door I shrugged off the now ripped shirt of my back. Hooking my fingers through the loops on his jeans I pulled him closer to me, his erection dug into mine making us both moan. His hands undid the buttons on my trousers before pulling the zip down and pushing them down along with my boxers. Jasper certainly seemed to know what he wanted as his rough hands gripped around my aching member. My head fell backwards and a moan escaped my lips as his hand gripped and stroked me. His mouth found its way to my chest, running the ball on his tongue bar against my nipple making it harden and causing me to shudder.

"Baby." My whispered pleas filled the room as I felt him smirk against my skin. I didn't think Jasper would be so forward. I expected him to be a little more nervous, unsure, but he seemed to know what he was doing. Yanking down his jeans and boxers our cocks rubbed together and Jasper let out a low primal growl as he pushed me back on the bed. His eyes had turned almost black with lust as he straddled my hips. Holding my wrists down above my head his lips attacked my neck, sucking and biting the soft skin that lay at the curve driving me crazy with need. My hips bucked trying to create more friction between us. Jasper let go of my wrists and shimmied his way down my thighs, trailing licks and kisses down my chest. His tongue bar flicked against the hard lines on my pecs and abs driving me insane.

His tongue dipped into my bellybutton, swirling around before trailing it across my stomach toward the right side on my hip. My breathing was ragged and hard as my body trembled with what he was doing to me. His tongue had become my new best friend, fuck! He was killing me. His teeth sank into my hip bone making me scream in a mixture of pain and pleasure. He trailed back across my stomach nipping with his teeth as he went. I was panting hard and whimpering in pleasure as he continued his assault on me. I wondered how far he was willing to go with that tongue of his. I desperately wanted to feel the ball on his tongue against my cock, not to mention the feeling of being inside of his hot wet mouth. I groaned at my own thoughts as Jasper lifted his head up and looked at me, the hesitation in his eyes. I stroked the side of his cheek, as much as I wanted to fuck his mouth I wasn't going to push him.

"You don't have too, baby." I smiled warmly at him as his eyes clouded in lust. He shook his head at me licking his lips, the black ball on his pink wet tongue peeking out slightly before giving me a sexy smirk.

"I want too." My body convulsed as I felt his hot wet tongue against the base of my shaft. I screamed out, crying in pleasure as the flat of his tongue ran up my cock, his tongue ball adding the right amount of pressure against my aching and throbbing member. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as I felt the ball run across my weeping slit. My hips bucked of their own accord. Fuck me and kill me now, I was in fucking heaven! Why hadn't I ever gotten with a guy who had one these before? Fuck, I'd been missing out, these should be law!

His breath fanned against my throbbing head causing a shudder to rip through my body. Did he have any idea of what he was doing to me? The thoughts were rubbed out as I felt his lips wrap around the tip of my cock, my back arched of its own accord as his tongue ball pressed against my sensitive head. His tongue swirled around the glands causing me to cry out again. His lips slowly moved down my member engulfing more of me into his hot wet mouth. His hand wrapped around the rest, moving it up and down with his mouth adding a slight twist and flick of the wrist every now and then. I fought against the wanting to thrust into his mouth, trying to keep still as he sucked harder around me, bobbing up and down. My body was on fire as his hand gripped tighter around me. My eyesight started to go fuzzy as I neared my release.

"Baby.... I'm gonna.... cum." Giving him warning in a breathless voice I expected him to pull away just before I blew my load, but he only sucked hard. My back arched and stars appeared in my eyes as I cried out loudly releasing myself into his mouth. My back rested back against the bed as I came down from my mind-blowing orgasm breathing hard. Jasper released my softening cock from his mouth looking at me with lust-filled eyes.

"Was that okay?" He asked suddenly a little embarrassed. I chuckled and pulled him towards me, holding the back of his head and kissing him. My tongue explored his mouth, tasting myself on him before pulling back and smiling at him.

"Fucking amazing, baby, amazing." Flipping us over it was my turn. I trailed kisses down his chest and towards his nipple ring. Piercings were something that I loved. I could happily play with the ring in my teeth for hours, and even though I loved them I had never had enough bottle to have one done myself. Taking the ring into my mouth I sucked and pulled on it gently as Jasper moaned breathlessly at me. His hands wrapped around my hair, pulling it gently whenever I tugged on his ring. The feel of the cold steel in my mouth drove me crazy, setting off some sort of comforting feeling. Hearing his moans and groans as I sucked and tugged on his nipple ring only pushed me on. Trailing my wet tongue down the long line of his chest and over his abs my tongue dipped into his bellybutton, but didn't stop until I reached the wet weeping head of his beautiful cock.

"You taste amazing." I murmured against his throbbing cock as my tongue flicked across his slit collecting the pre-cum that had gathered there. Jasper writhed and whimpered underneath me, it gave me a great sense of pleasure to know I was making him feel like this. Trailing my tongue down his shaft from tip to bottom Jasper's hips bucked in my face making me chuckle softly.

I moved from his aching member making him whimper at the loss of contact. I leant over his body and opened the bedside drawer. Pulling out the bottle of lube I kissed his lips before heading south again. Not wasting any time, my lips wrapped themselves around his hard thick member, sliding down his cock until my nose touched his short of blonde curls. Jasper cried out as I swallowed around him. I slowly brought my mouth up grazing my teeth against the soft satin skin that covered his hard cock.

"Fuck." Jasper cried out as I took him back into my mouth again and again, bobbing my head up and down, deep throating him each him time. His hips thrust upwards as his cries of sheer pleasure filled my ears. I sucked harder around him, and started to hum. Jasper was writhing uncontrollably, he was at my mercy and I loved it. Bringing one hand down I flicked the cap on the lube bottle before bringing my other hand down so I could squeeze the lube onto my fingers. Our eyes locked, his lips were parted sucking in ragged breaths, and his eyes were hooded and lust-filled as I winked at him.

Nudging his legs wider apart I trailed my slick my fingers across scrotum towards his tight hole. Circling my finger gently around his hole while my other hand played with his balls, my mouth continued to suck tightly around his cock as he cried out again and again. Pushing a finger into his tight hole Jasper tightened up, his hips bucked up as his body couldn't decide what pleasure to go after. Moving my finger slowly in and out of him I felt him start to relax. Pushing a second finger into him I began to scissor him. As my mouth continued my attack on his member adding a third finger into his tight hole I began to match my thrusting fingers with the bobbing of my head.

Jasper's back arched and he stilled before screaming out and shooting his hot cum down my throat. I swallowed around him, milking him, draining him until he was spent. Releasing him from my mouth I looked at a very flushed looking Jasper, a gorgeous smile on his face that was covered in a bliss of happiness. Removing my fingers I grabbed the foil packet off the side of the bed and tore it open. My cock was already hard and twitching with need to feel his tight hole of hotness wrapped around me. Sliding the condom down my aching member I coated it with lube. Jasper went to roll onto his stomach bringing himself up on to all fours, but I stopped him.

"I want to see your face, baby. I want to make love to you, not fuck you." Pulling his knees up I placed them against chest before pushing them back closer to his body. I placed myself at his entrance and looked into his eyes, searching to see if there was doubt or uncertainty in his eyes, all I saw was lust laced with love.

"I love you." He whispered out in a smile making me smile as I pushed slowly into him. My head broke past his tight walls and I watched as his were squeezed tightly shut, his teeth biting his bottom lip. I stilled my movements waiting for him to get used to me before I continued. He sucked in a few breaths and he relaxed slightly. I pushed a little more into him, and heard a small cry escape his lips.

"Relax, baby. Do you want me to stop?" I asked. I didn't want to push him too far if he wasn't ready. He moved his knees off my chest pushing them against my shoulder. I brought my arms over his legs as they wrapped around my waist, his heels digging into my ass, pushing me into him.

"No, I want you." His voice shook slightly as he spoke. His heels pushing me into him I pulled back against them, waiting to take my time in this and slowly started to thrust in and out of him. With each thrust going a little deeper than the last until I was fully in him. I couldn't stop the moan of pleasure that left my lips at the feeling of his tightness covering me like this. Lowering myself over him I kissed his lips and brought my mouth to his ear. His arms rested on my shoulders, running up and down over my biceps.

"I love you too." I murmured in his ear. I was sure that Jasper already knew that I was in love with him. I had fallen so hard for him. My body craved the warmth of his; the tingly feeling that ran through us, setting off sparks of passion. I was in love with him.

Kissing his lips once I lifted myself off him, giving me more control as I thrust in and out of him. Slowly cherishing in the wonderful feeling of being connected with him like this, everything felt so right, so perfect, like he was made just for me. All this time we had known each other, and my one was right there in front of my face. I looked at his beautiful face, his eyes were closed, his head tilted slightly back. Pleasure was written across his face, not a single sign of pain in sight. The slight moans and whimpers grew longer and louder as I started to hit his sweet spot over and over again.

Feeling him harden between our trapped bodies I groaned gently as I felt his body tremble around me, pushing me closer to my release. Feelings of ecstasy crashed through me as I tried to hold back my release. I wanted him to come with me, to soar off together in an orgasmic bliss.

"Touch yourself, Jasper." I almost growled out as I fought to hold back that little longer. I didn't want this to end. I didn't want to remove myself from my home. Jasper was my home. I was becoming a sap being consumed with love for him. Pushing away every doubt that I had and just believing that he was mine, right now he was mine, right now I believed his words of love, and prayed that he wouldn't hurt me now that my heart lay on the line.

"Jazz!" I cried out breathlessly unable to hold back any longer. My orgasm ripped through me, the sheer power of it drained my body as my body shook. A few seconds later Jasper cried out, covering our stomachs and chests in his hot cum. I collapsed breathlessly on top of him feeling the fire starting to subside within me.

Now I grew worried, my hands gripped him tightly, holding him close to me praying and waiting for the realisation to kick in for him and for him to reject me. My worries vanished as his arms wrapped tightly around me, his fingers running softly up and down my back while we lay locked together in this embrace. Lifting my head up off his chest I saw the most beautiful smile plastered on his face, his face flushed and his eyes held love as our lips met.

Pulling out of him I nipped off to the bathroom to dispose of the condom. Grabbing a warm washcloth I walked back into my bedroom to find Jasper still lying in the same position I left him in, tears ran down his gorgeous face. Moving slowly towards him I started to feel embarrassed. What if this had just been something he needed to do in order for him to decide what he was going to do next? I had laid my heart on the line and Jasper was just in a fragile state, suffering from the rejection of his parents.

I cleaned him up gently thinking of so many things I wanted to ask, but was afraid to hear the answers. I wanted to believe that not everything was the same; that I wasn't being taken for a fool. I knew I needed to express my concerns and problems to Jasper. There were things he needed to know, things that I had kept a secret from my friends. Only my parents knew, but if he was rejecting me then there was no point.

"You okay?" I asked him throwing the washcloth in the hamper, his hand reached out to me as he turned onto his side.

"You don't regret this, do you?" He asked as I lay down next to him. Jasper curled into me his head resting on my chest. I sighed contented for a while. "You wouldn't reject me, would you? Ever?" I had never seen Jasper so broken before; the confidant god's gift to women had certainly left him.

"No, I won't ever reject you, as long as you don't reject me." His head came up and he looked at me, confusion in his eyes.

"Why would I reject you? I made my decision. I chose you, that won't stop because my family has rejected me even though it pains me to know they won't for the time being accept me. I couldn't bear it if you rejected me now after everything." I smiled happy that I had chosen to believe his words and not back away from him.

"Never, baby. Your parents will come round and if they don't then I'm sorry to say this, but fuck them." He looked shocked for a second and bit his bottom lip.

"I just don't see my life without them in it. I mean what if we ever get to that point where we want to get married or have children, then what? They would miss out." I could understand that.

"Yeah, but Jazz if they choose to disown you because of who you choose to see would you really want your child being around them? Jazz, parents should love their children no matter what, they shouldn't try and make them something they're not just to make them happy. That's not how it should work, but for some it does. Listen baby, if your parents love you, if you mean something to them, they will come round. If they don't then you don't need them in your life. As hurtful as that sounds, you will deal with enough people around us that will be disgusted in the life you choose to lead. Having them continue this will only weigh you down." He bit his lip again stopping it from trembling.

"Will they?" He asked. I shrugged, I wasn't sure if they would. Yeah, I thought they would be, no one would know for certain. "I don't want them to cut me out of their life, but I don't really have a choice if they choose to do so. How will your parents take it that we're dating?"

"They will be fine. A little shocked maybe that I'm suddenly dating you, considering you have always dated women, but you have to remember my parents have known about me being gay for a long time. They have had over ten years to get used to it. I'm sure they will love it that we're dating." He smiled slightly and rubbed his face.

"I'll call Rose tomorrow and find out what happened after I left tonight." He looked at the clock. "Or should I say yesterday." I chuckled.

"Fuck, I forgot about that it was New Year's... well Happy New Year, baby." I gave him a kiss, his soft lips on mine setting me on fire again.

"Fucking, huh? What a way to start the year." He laughed slightly and rolled onto his front.

"Fucking? I would class that more as making love, but either way it was a good start to the year." My fingers ran up and down his spine watching his skin turn all goose pimply.

"Here's to a good new year then." He grinned and looked at me. "You mentioned that you had stuff you needed to tell me, wanna share it now? I kind of don't want to talk about what happened tonight anymore for the time being." He looked down before looking back at me, I sighed.

"Okay, I'll tell you, but first go make a coffee while I build up. If I'm gonna tell you then I want to smoke, besides I think you could do with chilling out." He nodded and rolled off the bed, my eyes ran over his body. "You're so fucking sexy." I purred out making Jasper chuckle.

"Look who's talking." He winked and disappeared out of the room.

Jasper was my best friend as well as my lover now, I trusted him enough. I had known him for a long time. Surely telling him this wouldn't effect what we had, he wouldn't use it against me in anyway shape or form. He needed to know why I had problems with trust, why I wasn't so giving in him coming out and why my love was conditional to begin with, it was only fair.

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**_Was that hot enough for you? Did it make all your bits go tingly? The boys demanded it yesterday and who am I to argue?_**

**_Well my lovelys can you hit the review button and send me some love?_**

**_Jen x_**


	15. Chapter 15

_**AN/ Hello my lovely's did you all miss me yesterday? God I'm rushed off my feet and I just couldn't finish the chapter off, I haven't broken up from work yet and I don't until Christmas eve so time is very short. **_

**_Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, Glad you all liked the treat I had in there, hehe. I have another one for you today as it's Christmas and I won't be updating now until Monday/ Tuesday time next week._**

**_I better just say this before you go off and read the Chapter, I'm in no way shape or form saying it's okay to smoke weed in this chapter, and I don't know how to "build up" either as I'm a good girl (wink), Its great what info you can find on the web, hehe._**

**_Here's chapter 15!_**

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_**EPOV**_

Sliding off the bed I picked up my boxers pulling them back up before heading to the bedside table. Pulling out the small tin that sat in there I opened it up. Taking the rizla's out I pulled three out sticking two together to make it wider. Licking half of the third I stuck it to the other's creating an L shape. Folding the L shaped paper diagonally creating a thinner end and a wider end I broke apart the small green bud, sprinkling a thin layer of green before breaking off half of a fag and adding that to the mix. Rolling carefully in my hands I licked across and up any sticky edges of the paper before continuing to roll, creating a long cone shape. I pushed the front end down compacting the weed and tobacco tightly together for it to smoke better with the end of a pen. Pinching the end of the joint I shook it slightly before rolling the end sealing it off.

Lying back down on the bed I picked up the ash tray and lighter. Biting off the sealed end I lit up, inhaling the tobacco mixed weed deeply into my lungs. I closed my eyes as I blew the smoke out feeling the slight harshness on my throat.

"You look almost angelic." I smirked and opened an eye as I saw Jasper walking towards me holding two cups of coffee, his boxers sitting low on his hips. My eyes were fixed on the short blonde hair that ran from his belly button and disappeared under the waistband of his boxers. Fuck, I could feel myself getting turned on by the sheer sight of him. How the hell have I lived with this fucking god and never really paid any attention?

"Thanks, baby." I sat up slightly, the joint hanging out the end of my mouth as I watched Jasper sit down facing me pulling his foot under his knee. He looked completely fuckable right now, his abs bending as he sat. Fuck!

"So then...." He started looking at me, I knew he was waiting for me to begin, but I wasn't really sure how he would react to this. I would be admitting what a fool I was, how easy I was sucked in, and how stupid I truly was. Taking another long drag of the joint I passed it over to Jasper as I blew out the smoke.

"Okay, you know how my parents were cutting me off unless I started working?" He nodded. "Well there's a little more to it than that, actually a lot more to it. They had to bail me out, financially, I mean." I picked up the coffee mug and took a sip letting the hot liquid sooth the harshness off my throat.

"Let me start from the beginning otherwise you're only going to ask questions. You remember when I was dating Tyler?" I asked as Jasper passed back the joint.

"Yeah. Shit, I couldn't believe it when you two broke up; you were with him for ages." He said leaning across the bed and grabbing his coffee cup.

"Six months, three weeks, and four days." I smiled slightly at the memory. "Tyler wasn't all he seemed to be. I had no idea at the time, but Tyler had a wife and two young children. About four mouths into our relationship I found out, but by this point I was already in love with him, or what I thought was love. He fed me some story about how he and his wife had split up, but he was still living in the family home, claiming that he had come out to his wife some eight months before meeting me and that ended their marriage. He said he couldn't live a lie anymore." Taking another drag I rolled the end of the joint against the ashtray before passing it to Jasper. I watched him put it against his lips and take a drag.

"You never said, how come?" He asked, I chuckled lightly and sipped my coffee.

"Why should I? I didn't see the point in it. As far as I knew and believed it was over with his wife, it wasn't something I thought was important at the time. I had no reason to doubt him. I saw him in town one day, he didn't see me. He was walking along holding her hand. They looked more like a freshly married couple than a couple that's marriage had failed. I was crushed, Jazz, fucking crushed. I loved him so fucking so much and yet there he was with his wife." I sucked in a breath as Jasper handed me back the joint.

"I confronted him later that night, and he came clean telling me that he and his wife were still together, but he loved me and wanted to leave her for me. This was two weeks before we spilt. I was unsure if he was telling the truth. Fuck, Jazz, I should have known, should have realised that this was bullshit, but I was blinded by love. He convinced me telling me that he would leave his wife for me, of course he didn't. He wasn't even out, Jazz. Yeah, in front of my friends he was, he played the perfect part, but something happened a few days before we split. We had gone out to dinner and he was busy telling me all about how he was working up to leaving his wife." I laughed bitterly at the memory. "One of his friends saw him in the restaurant with me and came up to us, suddenly he changed and started acting as through he hardly knew me. He told his mate that this was a business lunch, looking to complete a deal. I didn't say anything as he told his mates, waiting until they had gone before I questioned just what he was doing." Relighting the joint I inhaled deeply, as Jasper moved closer to me, his fingers lacing through mine.

"Then what happened?" He asked, his blue eyes looking at me intently, holding compassion and caring in them.

"He told me that it was better if his work mate didn't know. I shrugged it off. I didn't exactly broadcast my sexuality, though if questioned I wouldn't lie about it. I was by this point feeling uneasy with the whole relationship. My heart was breaking, Jazz. I was blinded by love for him, only it worked one way. Two days after the whole restaurant thing I had a bank statement. Jazz, you know I leave those things lying around; or well I used too. I trusted you guys not to touch it, or look at it or use my details. Why would I doubt the man I was in love with?" Jasper ran his fingers gently down my arm.

"He cleaned me out, Jazz. My parent's had to bail me out. I was in financial ruin; credit cards maxed out, overdrawn. Jazz, I owed a lot of money. I never gave a second thought to hiding my details around him, I wish I had now. I knew where he lived, I don't know how I knew it was him that had cleaned me out, I just knew. I went to his house, his wife was there saying I needed to stay away from her husband as he wasn't interested, and that I was just some toy for him. He wouldn't answer my calls or anything, a few days later I received an injunction from him and his wife. They had claimed I was stalking him." I sighed and looked at Jasper, his forehead creased deep in thought.

"Now you see where my trust issues come from? Why I have camera's covering the tills? Why I wanted you to come out and go public with me right away and I wouldn't move on it. I was falling for you, babe, but I needed to know I had you, all of you. I needed to know that you weren't going to hide and live a lie that I wasn't being taken for another ride. I'm sorry, Jazz. I wasn't fair. I pushed you before you were ready, I was selfish that way."

He dropped my hand and relit the last of the joint, his eyes narrowing slightly while he looked at me. Anger flashed across his face, he inhaled deeply, his eyes never leaving my face the whole time. As the seconds ticked slowly by I waited for him to say something, anything. I hated the silence that was there now. I closed my eyes thinking that maybe I shouldn't' have said anything. Was he now going to think that I would think that he would clean me out too?

"Why didn't you say something when this happened? Fuck, Edward, you could have come to me, you know. I would have listened to you. Jesus, you went through not only a break up, but you also found out he had been stealing from you, you should have said." The anger in his voice was making me regret this. I knew he would take the whole why didn't you say anything road. After all, we had been friends for years. Best friends, in fact, yet I kept this from him.

"You were with Alice. You were never alone to talk too, and when you were I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want everyone knowing how stupid I had been." I felt Jasper touch my arm, opening my eyes and looking at him, I watched him sigh.

"Yeah, you were stupid, but you believed him because you loved him, just like anyone would. You don't doubt your partners and if you do then your relationship is screwed. You know I would never steal from you, Edward. You trust me, don't you?" Smiling slightly I touched his beautiful face.

"Of course I trust you. Jazz, I've lived with you long enough and known you for way too long. It was more that I just needed you to be free and open with me, no hiding away, that was all. Please don't say anything; it's kind of a sore subject with my parents." Running my thumb over his cheekbone I pulled him closer to me, our lips met in a gentle cherishing kiss. I smiled against his lips.

"How much did he take? I take it the money disappeared suddenly; you would have noticed otherwise, wouldn't you?" He asked lying across me, his chin resting on my chest, his warm breath fanning across my pecs.

"Yeah, I don't know if I was the first person who had been suckered by them or what, but yeah it disappeared suddenly. I thought about taking the matter further, but when I was issued the injunction and made to look like a stalker I didn't bother. You've seen my bank statements before, right?" He nodded. "Well he cleaned it out, all of it."

"So why won't you bottom?" I frowned; this wasn't where I wanted our talk to head. "Is there a reason for it? I'm not pushing, honestly, I'm not, but I would like to know why." He asked. I let out a long breath and ran my fingers through my hair.

"I just don't do that, Jazz. I can't. You know you're not the only person that has wanted me to bottom and even though I love you, the answer will always remain the same and it's no." Jasper's eyes narrowed again at me.

"But you know I wouldn't hurt you. I wouldn't babe, you didn't hurt me." I cocked an eyebrow. "Okay, maybe a little, but that was to be expected. Anyway, what I'm saying is, is that I want to. Can't you at least try? For me?" I shook my head. God, what was with this fucking subject? It was never going to happen, so why must he continue to bring it up.

"No. Jazz please, I can't. I just can't hand over that sort of trust, baby. I wish I could." He sighed drumming his fingers on my chest.

"Trust? Ed, come on, it seems like you're just shutting down the idea without even giving me a real reason." He tried again. Why is it people just can't leave well enough alone?

"Jasper, look, it's not something I want to do, okay? I just don't feel safe being in that sort of position." He rolled off me and laid next to me his fingers laced through mine.

"Will you at least think about it? You're safe in my hands. I'm not about to go and hurt you, Edward." I smiled listening to him; it was easier to agree to think about it than to just continue this path.

"I'll think about it, okay?" He sighed and yawned, leaning over to give me a kiss before getting off the bed. I watched him walk towards the door, the feeling of being left hit me, and my heart sank a little. I wanted him to stay the night with me. I wanted him to be next to me when I woke up. "You're not staying?" I blurted out without thinking, way to go and make yourself look needy.

"Um." He scratched the top of his head and looked a little embarrassed. "No, I thought that..... um; did you want me to?" He looked so fucking cute right now all embarrassed like that. I grinned widely at him and held my hand out. Taking it he crawled back into bed and under the covers. My arms wrapped around him tightly, my face pushed into his hair breathing in his wonderful scent.

"Of course I want you to stay." Kissing him passionately, feeling his soft lips against mine, mixed with a slight brushing of his stubble I could hardly contain the slight moan that escaped my lips.

"Night, babe." He whispered a little breathless. Smiling contentedly at him I watched as he turned in my arms, his back against my chest. I hoped he planned on staying in this position all night.

"Goodnight, baby." I murmured into his ear.

Listening to his breathing even out and a soft snore coming from his parted lips my rage from this evening started to come back. Now that he was a sleep I could brood over it, over what Alice had done. I still couldn't believe that she had the cheek to go to his parents and tell them about us, she had no right to. It wasn't her place to tell them; that should have been left to Jasper. I know I told him that if he had told them that, things might have been different, but the truth was I didn't know. I was certain that the fucking bitch didn't help matters. After all who wants to be told by their son's ex-girlfriend that their son is now sleeping with a man?

The possessive side of me kicked in. Jasper was mine, and low and behold anyone who hurts him. That includes that fucking bitch. This was a trait that had gotten me into a lot of trouble in the past. I was needy and clingy. I liked to be in close contact with the man I was seeing, but I was also very protective over what was mine, like a primal act I wanted to hunt the little bitch down and drain her of her blood for hurting Jasper this way. Jasper knew that I wouldn't rest until I had dealt with it, with her. Be it me smashing her face in or embarrassing her to an extent that she is humiliated, I would deal with it. One way or another. Jasper's happiness was now my top concern. Making him happy was all I wanted to do, whether that was us having sex or just in general. I needed him to be happy and content in his life with me.

I knew what he had to change to be with me, what he had given up almost. His price at the moment was his family, or more to the point, his parents. It hurt and angered me to see him in such a state over it. To see Jasper cry was a rarity, so I knew this was cutting him deeply. He hadn't even gotten it fully together about us being together, yes, he had gone public with me, which was amazing, but still he had to adjust to us being a couple which would take a while to wrap his head around. I had hoped that this act itself would have happened before he told his parents, so there was no confusion in what he wanted or what he needed. Alice had thrown it all out of sorts by doing what she did.

Gripping Jasper tighter to me I listened as he whimpered slightly, his little sounds of pain made my heart break that little fraction. I would make Alice pay. I never liked the woman. In truth, I couldn't stand her, her reference to me as 'gay boy' used to bug me no end. Jasper had told her to stop about no end of times, but still she insisted on calling me it. Why? I had no idea. Burying my face into his hair I inhaled his magnificent scent, letting it fill my lungs, flowing through every inch of me, relaxing me and making me sleepy. I finally drifted off to sleep with a thought of Jasper not freaking out on me in the morning.

*********

I woke up to the light creeping in through the curtains, my sexy man still locked in my arms, the way he had been when I fell asleep, his ass pushing against my morning wood. I could feel Jasper's slight unconscious movements of his hips rolling against me. I moaned softly pushing myself closer to him. His movement continued gently making me want to moan louder with every roll of his hips. I was now horny as hell and desperate for release. Bending my body back slightly I pulled the lube bottle off the side and a condom.

Sliding his boxers down slowly along with my own I gasped slightly at the new tingly feeling of our skin contact. Fuck, I hope he likes the way I was choosing to wake him up. Flicking the end of the lube top I coated my fingers, kissing his neck my finger circled his entrance. Jasper moaned slightly and rocked his hips back into me, gently pushing a finger into him. His moans came out a little breathless. He stirred slightly as I kissed and sucked on his neck, marking him as mine. My finger slowly pumped in and out of him before I added a second.

"Fuck...... Edward." He suddenly spoke turning his head towards me. His breathing was ragged already, almost panting, as I smiled and kissed his lips.

"Good morning, gorgeous." I murmured against his ear before going back to his neck. Jasper's moans and groans became stronger as he rocked his hips back against my fingers. Slipping a third finger into him I gently bit down on his shoulder making him shudder and growl at me. Removing my fingers I tore the foil packet open with my teeth before rolling it down my rock hard length. Coating myself with some lube I pumped a few times biting my lips to stop the moans. Positioning myself at his entrance I grabbed the back of his thigh just below the knee and lifted it up. Pushing slowly into him I felt Jasper tense up releasing a slightly painful whimper. Stilling my movements I waited for him to relax before I slowly thrust in and out of him rolling my hips gently. Jasper's body tilted slightly more towards me as I propped my upper body up on my elbow, the angle allowed me to kiss him better.

Slowly thrusting into him I finally buried myself deep within him. I couldn't help but moan into the kiss, feeling the love I felt for him course itself through me. Breaking the kiss my eyes locked onto Jasper's, his blue orbs darkening by the second as he moaned in a perfect motion to each of my thrusts. His hips rolled back meeting my thrusts as I pushed deeper and deeper into his tight hole. I could stay buried deep within forever. Curling his leg over me my hand trailed up and down his chest until I found my favourite toy on him. Tugging gently on his nipple ring Jasper moaned and his head rolled back exposing more of his neck to me. My lips covered his Adam's apple, sucking it gently. Jasper shuddered almost violently against me. Smiling against his neck I sucked again this time adding a little more pressure while tugging his nipple ring. With a sharp thrust of my hips I hit his sweet spot.

"Jesus..... fuck....... so close." He cried out as his body shivered in response to me. Moving my lips away from his Adam's apple I sucked on the soft skin at the curve of his neck, making him writhe and moan loudly. Euphoria crashed through me knowing I was making him feel this good. My sharp thrusts continued to pick up pace as I neared my own release. My own climax was just moments away, with them becoming frantic Jasper reached down and stroked his hardened length that was leaking with pre-cum. As I felt my release about to explode along with Jasper, I tugged a little bit more on his nipple ring and bit down on the curve of his neck as my orgasm rocked through me with force, my cries masked by my mouth on his neck.

"Edward!" Jasper cried breathlessly as his body tensed up around me as he shot his load over his hand and stomach. I kissed the now red sore spot from which I had sunk my teeth into. Suddenly I felt bad that I had marked him that way, my teeth had imprinted into his fresh skin, almost breaking the skin. The red purplish coloured skin around it made my heart sink, I had hurt him.

A glorious smile was on his face, a look of pure and utter contentment and pleasure coated his face as though it was a second skin. His eyes were hooded and alight holding love in them. I smiled weakly wondering how he will react when he notices the nasty looking mark on his neck. My fingers ran across and down his cheek and throat, taking in the shape and feel of his skin underneath my touch. My lips met his as I tried to keep my disgust to myself. Last night I had been brooding over Alice hurting him, yet I had hurt them this morning. I had marked him. I didn't think about if it would hurt him, I just thought about myself.

"Go take a shower, baby." I murmured kissing his lips gently before pulling out of him. Nipping into the bathroom I disposed of the condom and flicked the shower on for him. Running the tap in the sink I splashed water on my face, in a bid to rid myself of the awful feeling that was hitting me, it didn't work.

Heading back into the bedroom I passed Jasper who looked amused. I didn't intend to stop in the hallway, but Jasper's arm wrapping around my waist stopped me.

"You marked me." His tone held amusement in it. I looked at the floor for a second unsure of where to look. I knew if I looked at him my eyes would head right to his neck, right to the mark I had placed there. I had never marked anyone the way I had marked Jasper, I was ashamed of that.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you." He chuckled lightly, his eyes danced at me.

"It didn't hurt at the time, it feels a little tight, but it's fine. You know I don't mind. In fact, I enjoyed you biting me like that while tugging my nipple ring. It was almost painful, but in a pleasurable sort of way." I smiled softly at him, pleased that he wasn't mad over it or that I hurt him.

"Glad you enjoyed it." Amused at a side of Jasper I never knew he had, then again it wasn't something you would tend to find out unless you were fucking.

"I'm marking you next time." He winked and wandered into the bathroom, my eyes fixed on his bare backside as he went.

* * *

**_So did we all the morning sex? Was it hot enough for you?_**

**_So we found out about Edward's trust issuse, no joke that happened to friend of mine, her ex cleaned out her bank just before he split, I just hyped it up a little more. _**

**_Anyway my lovely's please hit the review button and send me some love, and I will see you all in a few days time._**

**_Merry Christmas and I hope you all have a good one._**

**_Jen x_**


	16. Chapter 16

_**AN/ Hello my lovely readers, have we all had a wonderful Chritmas? Did we all get what we wanted from Santa? I drank way to much, eat to much and then got smack with a cold again, full blown can hardly breath cold :( **_

**_Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, it seems ages since I updated this and its only been a few days haha._**

**_Again thank you to my wonderful beta for doing her thing._**

**_Here's chapter 16!_**

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_**JPOV**_

Standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom my eyes fixed on the mark on my neck, the teeth marks sat in a perfect shape of Edward's mouth. Touching the mark slightly I winced, it was a little on the sore side. I had never had Edward down as someone who likes to bite, never thought that I would enjoy it s much as I did. Yeah, I had sunk my teeth into girls before, but I had never had it done to me. I liked it, I liked it a lot.

Coming out of the bathroom I headed into my room and sat on the bed wincing slightly as the pain shot up my backside. My mind cast its thoughts to last night, my parents, going public, all that Edward told me. My head spun a little thinking about it. They just disowned me, cast me off as nothing because I was seeing Edward. It didn't seem fair that they would do this to me. I always thought that my parents were pretty open about things. They never even batted an eyelid when Edward came out, they didn't change how they were towards him; they still welcomed him into the house with opened arms, but when it came to their son? It was different all together. No longer was I welcome in their house. No longer was I classed as part of the family. They were ashamed to have me as their son because it wasn't a woman hanging off my arm. This wasn't something I chose, I didn't choose to fall for Edward; it just happened, we just happened. My family meant the world to me, I was close to them. I cared for them. I wasn't one of those who didn't bother with their parents. I was always telling them things in my life, always going to see them, always there for them if they needed me, needed help, but all of that was wiped clean off because of Edward.

It would be lying if I said that there wasn't a small part of me that thought about giving Edward up for them, switching back and going back out with a woman just so I could be back in my family, but I couldn't do that. Edward would be right, I would just be living a lie, pretending that I was with what I wanted when in truth what I wanted was right there in my face. He always had been, we just never noticed each other. If I couldn't have my family as well as Edward then so be it. I wasn't about to change my mind and go back on what I did. I couldn't just forget how he made me feel when we touched, how I felt that sense of being complete, but I wish it didn't come at such a price.

Would they always be out of my life now? Would I now have to live my life without my parent's being in it? That was a hard pill to take, it's hard to let it sink in and not become upset by it. I knew Edward wanted to make me happy, but how could he repair the bridge with my family? He couldn't. As hard as it was to admit, he was the reason my parent's are now disgusted, disappointed and had disowned me. Part of me so badly wanted to make things right, to run back to my family and tell them that this was over, that I was not a fag, or a queer or whatever word they wanted to use, but how fair would that be to Edward? I loved him. Over the course of the last two weeks over Christmas I had finally started to understand what I feel for him, what he means to me. Running back to them would get me my parents back, but I would crush and lose Edward in the process. I didn't want to lose him. I had made my choice, my choice was simple, my choice was Edward.

Dressing in a pair of sweatpants and T-shirt I left my room and made my way downstairs. Walking into the living room I saw Edward already showered and dressed. Had I really been upstairs all this time? Giving him a small smile I sat down on the sofa away from him. I winced slightly as the pain shot up my backside. I don't know why I chose to sit away from him, almost as though I was pretending we weren't happening, but that wasn't the case. I guess I just needed some space, some time by myself, and not have Edward all over me.

"You okay?" He asked turning his head slightly towards me, his damp hair drying off in all different directions.

"Am I okay?" I snapped. "My parents think I'm a disgusting fag and want nothing to do with me, I'm hardly o-fucking-kay. It's the worst day of my life, and yet you're asking me if I'm okay? What the fuck?" I seethed. I knew I was snapping at him and he hadn't done anything wrong, but I was angry, angry how I was being rejected by the people who created me, who gave me life.

"There's no need to snap at me, Jasper. I was only asking." His tone was calm, but the anger flashed in his eyes.

"Well, fucking don't. In fact you're the fucking root of my problem." It was almost like I couldn't stop the anger that flowed out of my mouth. I expected Edward to snap back, he normally did, but this time I watched as he took a few deep breaths with his eyes closed before turning to look at me.

"You're upset and you're angry, and I get that, but do not start taking this shit out on me when I haven't done anything. If your parents want to think these things of you, you shouting and snapping at me won't change that." He turned his head away from me and relaxed into the sofa, his head resting on the armrest, his legs stretched out in front of him, while I sulked.

Of course Edward was right. I was looking to make myself feel better by blowing off some of my pent up anger, only I was releasing it at the wrong person.

"They're my parents, Edward. Please try and understand that." I murmured crawling across the living floor towards him. He turned his head towards me as I sat back on my heels, his hand ran through my hair, smiling at me.

"I know, Jazz, and I know you're hurting. I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better, but there isn't." I sighed and crawled over him on the sofa, my body laying flush against his. His arms wrapped around me and he rested his hands on the small of my back.

"Are you worried?" He bit his bottom lip slightly and nodded his head.

"Yeah, I worry that you're going to decide that being with me is too hard for you, that you losing your parents isn't worth it, that you're just going to turn around on me and walk. I just want you to be happy, that's all." My lips met his, his soft lips against mine, the slight stubble on his face rubbing against my skin. I couldn't help but moan into the kiss. Pulling back from the kiss I stared into his smouldering green eyes.

"You make me happy, and if my parents can't accept this then it's their loss." He smiled softly at me. "Where did this semi-gay bunny shit come from?" He chuckled.

"You've been speaking to Rose, haven't you?" I nodded as he chuckled at me. "You are like a semi-gay bunny, you're just so cute, I could cuddle you all day long." I frowned. How he fuck was I cute? Cute, it's something you say to children not to fully grown men.

"I'm not cute." I protested much against Edward's laughter, fucker.

"You are cute. You do some really cute things, baby, but you're also strong, gorgeous, smart and sexy. You're beautiful, Jazz. You're still very manly if that's what you're worried about, but you do at times look so unbelievably cute that I just want to pick you up and snuggle with you all day." His breath fanned my face warming my skin. I sighed content being in his arms.

I rested my head against his chest, listening to his heart beating. My eyes closed as I relaxed deeper and deeper into him. His fingers traced light gentle patterns on my back setting my skin all tingly and warm. Neither of us spoke as we laid there, lost in our own thoughts. My mind kept going back to my parents. As much as I tried to fight it, I couldn't stay off that subject for long. I tried to think about going back to work, about how they might react when it comes out that I was now sleeping with Edward. How my work mates reacted to this didn't bother me, after all nothing could be worse than how my parents took it. Then there was Emmett and Seth which I was sure would be round at some point. I know they saw me kiss Edward, saw as he held my hand and took me to his office. I wondered just how they would take it.

I was sure they were shocked, after seeing that last night I was sure they were wondering just what was going on, but I was hoping that they wouldn't really care and would still be my closest friends. They had taken Edward being gay well, so surely they would do the same for me? I wasn't sure how long we laid there for, it could have been hours or just five minutes. The doorbell ringing broke the spell I was under, broke this amazing feeling of relaxation. I couldn't believe how relaxed Edward could make me feel. Pulling myself up off Edward I looked at his peaceful face, he hadn't moved and I wondered if he was asleep. I flicked the end of his nose making him wrinkle it.

"Just leave it, baby." He murmured tightening his grip around me. Pushing back against him I watched as he opened his eyes, the soft smouldering green of his beautiful orbs looking back at me. I smiled and kissed his lips.

"You get the door and I'll put the kettle on." He groaned releasing his iron grip around me. My body felt suddenly cold being away from his.

I headed towards the kitchen as Edward slowly made his way to the door. Hearing the sound of his voice I smiled to myself. I don't think I had ever noticed just how intoxicating his voice was; so thick, slightly deep, that only got deeper as he got more turned on. I could be fixated by just his voice alone, losing myself it its magical sound.

My heart froze as I heard the other voice, the female's voice that was talking. It was Rosalie's voice. She had come to see me. Hearing the front door close and the footsteps hit the floor towards the kitchen I tried to relax, but I knew she was here to tell me what happened last night after I left.

"Jasper!" She cried flinging her arms around me and hugging me tight. I felt her shudder slightly, this wasn't good then. I didn't really have to know what had been said. Her whole body screamed at me that it was bad. Did I really need to hear it?

"Hey." I pulled back from the hug and looked at her eyes that were filled with tears, her lips trembled slightly. Edward cleared his throat causing me to look at him.

"I'll leave you two alone. I'm gonna head out for a run." I narrowed my eyes at him. I wanted him to stay. Fuck, I needed him to stay. Watching as he turned on his heels and headed upstairs I pulled away from Rosalie completely and followed. I could feel her eyes in my back as I left the room, but I knew she would understand why I was following Edward.

Running up the stairs two at time I reached Edward's door. Pushing it open I saw him pulling on a hooded top. My eyes caught sight of his strong abs along with the happy trail of bronze short cropped hair that ran from his navel and disappeared under the waistband of his sweatpants.

"Stay, please. I need you here." He smiled and shook his head walking towards me. His arm snaked around my waist pulling my body flush against his. His lips met mine just once, in a soft cherishing kiss.

"You need to be alone with Rose. You will be able to talk better with her, Jazz. I won't be far and I have my phone with me, okay?" I nodded my head still not happy that he was going. "She's on your side, Jazz. Remember that." I smiled feeling his hand gently rub along my cheek. All too soon his hand went away from my skin and he disappeared out of the room.

Following him down the stairs I caught sight of his smirk before the front door closed behind him. Sighing loudly I headed into the kitchen spotting Rosalie leaning against the side, a coffee cup curled in her hand under her chin. I saw my cup sitting on the side, the steam off it bringing the smell of coffee to my nose. I could do with something more than coffee. I could do with a full bottle of vodka and could down shots of Sidekick, just to completely blank all this shit out.

"So then?" I started picking up my mug and walking into the living room. I already felt like shit from last night. My eyes were sore and puffy only reminding me of why I don't fucking cry. This shit afterwards was just a pain in the ass.

"It's weird you know, seeing the two of you together like that, the mark on your neck. Someone had fun last night or this morning." She smiled at me. I knew she was just trying to lighten the mood, but with all that was going on it wasn't working.

"Weird, huh? It's weird that I'm with Edward? You disgusted by it?" _And there you go again, you're taking your god damn anger out on the wrong person._

"Jazz, I didn't mean it like that! God, all I'm staying is it's just different from what I'm used to seeing when it comes to you. I'm not disgusted by it, of course not. I told you the other day it doesn't matter who you bring home as long as you're happy." She sighed and took a sip of her coffee looking at me the whole time until she was sure that I felt like a cunt.

"Sorry, Rose. I shouldn't have snapped. Tell me what they said after I left last night. Is it as bad as I think it is?" She simply nodded at me leaving it alone for a few moments before answering me, giving me time to let this new information set in.

"It's worse, Jazz. God, I can't believe how dad is acting right now. I fought your corner when you left, honestly I did, but it was like talking to a brick wall. Smacking my head against the wall outside would have gotten more of a response than I did from him. Mum is upset, she thinks her son will be missing out on the great things in life, but she hasn't cut you out. If you're happy then she respects your wishes. She wants to talk to you in a few days once everything has calmed down at home." Well that's nice, I guess.

"And dad?" The frown on her face was almost enough for her not to answer the question, but of course she would. She would tell me just what he had said, and if he ever planned on seeing me again.

"Jazz, he is changing the will." She spoke softly at me almost as though this would soften the blow. Of course it didn't.

Frozen in place I just stared out at nothing. This wasn't what I wanted. This wasn't how it was meant to be. They were meant to accept me, accept the person I was no matter what, not just cut me out like that. Not getting anything in the will wasn't a big deal. Fuck, I would sooner them be alive than have money from the will, but I also knew my dad meant business. The will had been in place since Rose and me had been children. Dad had gotten into a car crash when we were about five. It was bad, not really life threatening, but it could have been. That had made him sort the will out, putting both of us in there and insuring that if anything was ever to happen we would be taken care of. My dad changing it meant he was set about keeping me out of the family.

"Jazz, mum is trying to stop him, but we both know unless he is willing to listen she is wasting her time. I tried to tell them that you were still you, but dad reckons Edward has poisoned your mind and turned you into what he is. He still stands by that Edward forced you into this." A small whimper broke out of me as the tears that had been collecting in my eyes spilled over.

Rose moved from the other side of the room to me, her arms went around me pushing my head to her chest, comforting me. I had never ever fucking cried so much in my life. It was almost like he had died, left this earth and gone to the afterlife. I guess in a way he now was dead to me. If he was going about doing all of this just to prove some point to me, then he was dead. He wouldn't be in my life, would he?

"Stay close to Edward, Jasper. He'll get you through this. Don't turn your back on him just because of what our father thinks." I nodded my head.

"I won't. I made my choice. You're not going anywhere, are you?" Deep down I knew I was asking a stupid question. I knew that she wasn't about to cut me out of her life, but still I had to ask. I needed to know that she wouldn't reject me.

"Don't be silly, Jazz. You're my brother, and despite everything I still love you. I'm happy for you and Edward. You both needed someone in your lives that would make you both happy and that's what you're doing, making each other happy. Be there for one another, draw strength from each other. The people that care about you Jazz will stay put. Yes, they might be a little freaked or shocked when they first find out, but they will be there. The ones that don't, fuck them. They will be missing out on knowing two wonderful guys." The smile in her voice made me smile, at least I could count on Rose to be there for me when I needed someone.

"I love him, Rose. It's still weird for me to know that I'm in love and going out with a guy, but I'm getting my head around it. He makes me happy and that's the main thing, isn't it?" The constant reassurance was surely driving her insane, and even if it was she never let on.

"Of course it is. I know you love him, just don't let all this negativity destroy what you two have." I pulled back slightly to lift my head up and look at her. She smiled softly at me and touched my cheek. I sighed defeated that there wasn't anything I could do to change his mind about me, defeated that now my parents wouldn't be a part of my life any more.

"I'm angry, Rose; angry that they have done this, angry that Edward is the root problem to all of this. It doesn't seem fair that they have turned there back on me for no other reason then I'm with Edward. How fair is that? If Edward was a woman then none of this would have happened. When did our parents or more so our father become so close-minded?" I pulled my knees under me now breaking from the hold she had around me. Rose shrugged a little. Of course I knew that she didn't have the answer for it. I guess only our father could answer that.

"I have no clue. He never seemed to have a problem with gays. In fact he always seemed to like Edward even after Edward came out. I'm shocked that dad has done this. I wouldn't have thought he was like that. I guess it was fine as long as it wasn't one of us." Biting my bottom lip I tried, in vain I might add, to wrap my head around it.

The front door slammed shut and I caught a glimpse of Edward rushing past the living room cursing under his breath. Rose and I looked at each other before standing up and following him. Edward had the cold tap running over his right hand, his knuckles looked bruised and red, blood ran from the cut.

"What happened?" Edward turned to me his face screwed in anger as he continued to let the cold water run over his cut.

"The fucking little bitch bit me, she fucking bit me like she was some fucking dog. Do you think I will need to get a shot now? She might have fucking rabies or some shit." I was confused now, who bit him? And more importantly why would they bite him?

"Who?" I asked which earned me an eye roll from Rose. 'What?' I mouthed. It may be clear as day to her, but it wasn't to me.

"She won't be biting anyone for a while not now she is missing her two front teeth. Fucking bitch. You know I wasn't going to hit her, but she launched herself at me and sank her teeth into my arm. As far as I'm now concerned she had it fucking coming." He almost shouted out while flicking the tap off and grabbing the tea towel, wrapping it around his knuckles.

"Who? Who did you hit?" The thought was dawning on me that I knew who it was, but still I played dumb thinking that maybe I might have gotten it wrong.

"Alice. Who the fuck do you think?" He snapped picking up the first aid box from under the sink. I watched as he sat down at the table taking out the anti-septic spray and applying it to his knuckles. He cursed under his breath and screwed his face slightly as it stung. He hit Alice? My ex? He hit her? A woman? My head was starting to spin.

"What? Why? Edward, that's my fucking ex!" I could feel myself getting angry. I didn't want her to get hurt by him, not like that, not being hit by him.

"Why the fuck not? She fucking bit me, Jasper. Besides after what she did last night I think she more than fucking deserved it." Rosalie giggled while my mouth just hung open still trying to get my head around Edward smacking Alice.

"What happened? Tell me you didn't go looking for her. Please Edward, you promised." Since when did I become such a fucking bitch?

"Okay, then I won't tell you that." He almost seemed smug over it.

"You did, didn't you? Oh fuck Edward, you promised me you wouldn't, you fucking promised." Seriously I need to stop this shit, holding onto some promise like a bitch who can't stand on her own two feet.

"No, I promised I wouldn't do anything last night. I never said anything about doing it after last night. So fucking what, Jazz? So the bitch felt the end of my fist after _she_ bit me. Look at what she fucking did last night?" He screamed at me, you could almost see the stream coming off him he was that mad.

"It wasn't your place to go after her like that!" I snapped back making him laugh in a mocking way at me.

"Oh right, so I can't protect you and defend you when that little bitch fucks everything up for you?" He screamed.

The air turned thick between us, it became uncomfortable as we both flared our nostrils at one another. I was somewhat aware of Rose still standing there watching us. In the back of my mind I was aware that yes he had done this to defend me, and even though Edward didn't have the best temper control in the world he wouldn't actually look to hit Alice without reason. She had bit him first which gave an even playing field then, it didn't matter that she was a woman. If you're gonna hit first then take it when it comes back, but still it angered me. More so that if she went to the police about it he would get a record. It wouldn't be the first time Edward had gotten into a fight and been arrested over it.

The fact that he had done this for me did touch me. He defended me because I was now his, and I was well aware how primal Edward could be over what was his. Still with everything that happened last night and with my parents it was still a little early for me to have this added and for me to be fine with it.

"I'll let you guys talk." Rose flicked her hair out from out of her coat. I followed her towards the door, my eyes still slightly narrowed after my argument with Edward. My anger was still having a hard time coming back down. The last twenty-four hours weren't helping me much.

"Thanks Rose, for coming." I tried to smile nicely at her, but I don't think it came off well, she gave me a hug.

"You're my brother, Jazz, and whatever happens I will always be here for you." She whispered in my ear before giving me a kiss on the cheek. "And don't be too mad at Edward, he was only defending you. It's sweet, really." I smiled letting my anger go a little more.

"I know. I'll speak to you later." I waved her off and closed the door.

Taking a few deep breaths I turned around to see Edward leaning against the wall, a smug grin on his face. Yeah, I bet you're pretty amused with yourself right now, fucker!

Walking towards him, I kept my anger act up. It was starting to go, but he didn't need to know that. Standing right in his face I narrowed my eyes at him as his smugness rolled off him. I pushed him hard back against the wall catching him off guard. The smug grin appeared on my face now while Edward looked a little shocked. Suddenly he had me pinned against the wall, his face just inches from mine so that I felt his breath fan my face.

"You want to play rough, baby?" His husky voice went right to my dick. I moaned slightly not being able to keep it to myself. He cocked an eyebrow at me, his green smouldering eyes burning into me. His lips attacked my neck, kissing and sucking every inch of my neck. My head tilted on its own accord giving him better access to my skin. I moaned with every suck, every graze of his teeth on my neck.

"You're mine, Jasper. I won't have anyone hurt you." His lips slammed hard against mine pushing his tongue into my eager waiting mouth. I moaned as I felt his hand grip hold of my hard cock.

He pushed me hard against the wall almost as if he was telling me to stay. Dropping to his knees he yanked down my sweatpants, my erection sprang free. My breathing was hard and heavy. I gasped as he suddenly took me all into his mouth, his hot wet mouth covering every inch of me. I felt the back of his throat as he swallowed around me.

"Fuck.... Edward." I gasped out as my hands went into his hair. Without breaking his hard deep rhythm his hand gripped my wrists, slamming them almost hard against the wall and holding them there. Unable to worm my fingers into his silky locks as he sucked hard on my cock drove me insane. It turned me on more to see this more aggressive side of Edward, I loved it.

As he continued to go up and down my length his tongue swirled and cupped my shaft with every bob of his head. I longed to grip his hair hard, to thrust into his mouth while I drove his head forward to meet my thrusts. His teeth grazed gently across my shaft making me moan and shiver with sheer delight. As his tongue flicked and dipped into my slit I came undone, he had brought me to the fucking edge.

"Edward... so... fuck." I came as his mouth enclosed me once again. He sucked hard and swallowed around me, milking me for all I was worth. Breathing hard he released me from his mouth grabbing the waistband of my sweatpants and pulled them back up. He licked his lips with hooded eyes and looked at me. I was like putty in his hands right now, my body ached from being drained by him. He licked up my neck and nibbled on my earlobe.

"You're fucking mine, and god forbid anyone fucking ever hurting you." His lips crashed hard to mine again. I could taste myself on his tongue making me moan. He pulled back from the kiss and held my head in his hands.

"You can be mad at me all you like, I don't care. I love you and I'm not about to have anyone hurt you." He smiled gently at me before letting me go. "I'm going to bed, come join me if you like." Edward's possessive side really turned me on. I never thought something like that would.

"Are you asking me or telling me?" I asked. He chuckled while he walked up the stairs.

"Your choice, Jazz. You can either come by your own free will or I will come and get you." I moaned hearing his words. I could feel myself starting to get hard all over again.

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**_So what did we all think? I'm trying to get across that Jasper is very upset over his parents and this is why he is snapping, he's not meaning to be a cunt, he's just releasing his anger._**

**_Alice got floored by Edward, I don't believe in volience towards woman, but if they hit first then its an open ball game._**

**_And yes I know I gave you the blowjob but didn't go to the bed room, I'm sure you all can picture it yourself, :)_**

**_Well my lovelys please hit the review button and send me some love, Jen x_**


	17. Chapter 17

_**AN/ Thank you to everyone that reviewed the last chapter, I think I replied to you all, if I missed you then sorry.**_

**_I'm glad you all seemed to like the last chapter and Alice getting floored, haha, I hope you all like this chapter._**

**_Here's chapter 17._**

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_**EPOV**_

Jasper was laying across the bed, his head resting on my stomach playing with my fingers. We hadn't spoken in a while, both of us just choosing to stay in our own thoughts. So far he hadn't continued his questioning over Alice, I was glad of that. I didn't set out to hit her, it just sort of happened. She did attack me first and as far as I was concerned it's fair game then. I knew Jasper was upset about it, but what should I have actually done? The bitch had gone to his parents and told them, told them about us. That wasn't her place to say and she needed telling. If she had never attacked first then she wouldn't be missing two front teeth. Of course, even though I was a little shaken by the argument that followed when I arrived home, I did, however, have this great sense of fulfillment running through my body. She had hurt Jasper. She had caused him pain in a time when he was still getting to grips with everything, when he didn't need this added stress at his door. I wasn't lying when I said that no one will hurt him and get away with it. Now that she was taken care of I could let the matter drop and not continue to brood over it.

While we had been up here I had been waiting for Jasper to tell me what Rose had said about his parents. I could only hope that she gave him some positive news if nothing else, but his reluctance to tell me only added to the thought that things were still bad. The thought ripped at my heart, knowing that there was this rift between him and his parents, knowing that I was the cause of this problem. Even though I knew that I was the cause, the root of this whole mess, I wouldn't change anything. I was happy, happier now than I had ever been. The things he did just made me fill with love just for him. I only hoped that Jasper wouldn't change things if he was given the choice.

The side of me that became all primal was still holding a strong hold on my mood tonight. The possessive side of me wanted to make sure that everyone knew who Jasper belonged to, who he was with and if you hurt him then you're in my eyesight and it's not really somewhere you want to be. I protected and defended what was mine, and if it gets me into trouble then so be it. My record with the law was less then perfect, my temper had gotten the better of me a few times and it had ended in a fight. Why do people seem to think that because you're gay you can't fight?

"What are you thinking about?" Jasper suddenly asked breaking the silence between us. He turned on his stomach and looked at me, half smiling, half sad, the sadness in his eyes was killing me.

"You, what did Rose have to say?" He shook his head at me closing his eyes. "Tell me, baby." I pleaded with him, though I knew I was wasting my time asking again.

"Not right now because you will only blame yourself and it's not your fault. Just know that I love you and that I have made my choice. Everything else should fall into place at some point, right?" He asked. I smiled and nodded hearing the doorbell go. This wasn't happening, surely whoever it was could come back another time.

"Emmett or Seth, place your bets." I joked sliding out from underneath Jasper and pulling a T-shirt over my head, he rolled on his back and groaned.

"Tell them to go away. I can't handle them today." I smirked walking out of the bedroom and down the stairs.

The house was a little cold now down here, the heating needed to go on. A small shiver ran down my back as I opened the door to see two police officers standing there. Oh crap!

"Edward Cullen? I'm P.C Roberts and this is P.C Anderson." He informed me.

"I'm him. Can I help you, officers?" I knew why they were here, but it didn't hurt to be nice towards them.

"We're here in regards to a matter that happened this afternoon, one with a Miss Alice Brandon. We would like you to come to the police station." I could hear Jasper slowly making his way down the stairs as I continued to stand and look at the officers in front of me.

"Am I under arrest?" This maybe wasn't the best time in the world to suddenly start thinking about my record, this after all would only make my sentence worse.

I had been in more than a few fights and been arrested more than once, been in court countless times for fighting, but I had always gotten off with nothing more than a slap on the wrist. The last time I was arrested I was down for ABH, and narrowly missed a jail sentence. That was four years ago and since then I had been good and kept my temper under wraps. My hit first and ask questions later had to go.

"We would like if you came on your own free will, but an arrest isn't out of the question." P.C Anderson told me. The thought of giving them a sarcastic smile ran through my head, but I went against it.

"Can I put some shoes on?" I asked feeling Jasper just inches behind me. They simply nodded and waited for me.

Leaving them on the doorstep I ran upstairs grabbing my wallet and mobile. Grabbing my trainers I sat on the edge of the bed pulling them on. Jasper stood by the doorframe his arms folded across his chest, his head down. I felt guilty, not because I had hit her, but because of what I was putting Jasper through. He hardly needed this right now. He was hurting and yet here I was heading down to the police station because I couldn't keep my temper under control. Yeah, he really made the right choice in picking me.

"I'm sorry, Jazz." I murmured to him as I touched his face. His head stayed down like he didn't even hear me or feel me. He didn't even acknowledge me. That hurt more than what I was willing to show. I sighed and kissed the top of his head. "I understand if you go now." These were my parting words to him as I headed down the stairs.

I knew that there was a chance that Jasper would want nothing to do with me. He was perfectly aware of my record. Why would he want to hang around if my latest act landed me in jail? Leaving the house with the officers I was aware of the curtain twitches, people looking. God, I hated this fucking road some days, you couldn't do a thing without them finding out. Part of me wanted to flip them off, another part of me wanted to stick my tongue out. I almost asked for handcuffs just so they could really get a show, but I knew that would only make matters worse. If not with the police, then with Jasper at least.

Arriving at the police station I was led into a room for questioning. During the ride here I had had time to brood over the events. What angered me the most about all of this was the fact that _if_ she was a man it would be her sitting in this room and not me. I get the whole women's rights, and burning their bras and all of that, but honestly if you're going to hit first then don't go running to the cops when you lose your teeth.

Yes, I was sure that they would look at it as I actually did damage, there's another ABH charge waiting to happen, but so did she. I have her fucking teeth marks on my fucking arm, but did I go off to the cops moaning that some rabid little bitch bit me? Did I fuck as like.

"Mr. Cullen would you like to tell us what happened this afternoon involving Miss Brandon? I will remind you that this will go on record. You are, however, permitted to have a lawyer here present. You don't have to say anything, but anything you do may be used in a court of law." The temptation to roll my eyes was hard to resist. How many times had I heard this before?

"I went looking for Alice this afternoon because of an event that took place last night with my boyfriend's parents. I had gone to see her to find out just why she felt the need to be a complete and utter bitch and tell his parents about us. The next thing I know she is launching through the air and biting my arm. I, in turn, hit out. It just so happened that my fist connected to her mouth and she lost two of her teeth." The words shit happens were almost added to the end there, but I went against it.

"So you decided to take matters into your own hands because Miss Brandon had told your boyfriend's parents about you two?" P.C Anderson asked. I nodded my head and then heard the sigh as they looked through my record. "So you admit to hitting her?"

"Yes, after she attacked me first. This wasn't as though I had gone to her first and just hit out, she attacked me. What I was doing was self defence." Had these people not heard of that word before?

"Mr. Cullen I can see your point that this was self defence, but the fact remains the same. You lashed out on a woman. Now I have seen your record, you have quite the back story. This isn't the first time you have been in trouble over fighting." No fucking shit, aren't you a clever little boy? "Your last record for fighting was four years ago, since then you have only had injunction placed on you to stay away from your ex. Is that correct?"

I hated the fact that I was led to be made out as the bad person in that. He was the one that screwed me over, but yet I ended up with another add onto my record. There was no point in arguing my case over that.

"Yes." I folded my arms over my chest and huffed a little. What was their point in brining up that?

"If you will give us a moment." It wasn't like I had much of a choice, was it, really? Simply nodding my head I watched as they walked out the door.

I outwardly groaned and pulled at my hair. I should have known the stupid bitch would end up going to the cops and I would end up sitting here. I didn't regret hitting her, I just regret what happened after it. Jasper was going through enough and I just added to his load. Jesus, what the fuck was wrong with me? I had said goodbye to this life, to fighting and getting arrested. There were only so many times you could skip jail before you ended up there. I didn't want to go there. I wasn't an asshole who didn't give a fuck about anything. I wasn't like that. I just had a bad temper that got out of control from time to time.

Hours seemed to slip by while I sat and waited for them to return. I could be waiting here for ages yet. I knew the club would open regardless of whether I was there or not, but the longer I spent here away from Jasper the more I feared how he would react once I did return home.

After what seemed like forever and a day I was finally allowed to go home with a common assault now on my record and a fine. I was happy that I got off that lightly. Though I would have kicked off if they had charged me with something more than that, it was self defence after all. I was happy to leave after spending most of the night there, happy to see Jasper and find out my fate, whatever that would be. Calling a taxi I thought about texting Jasper to let him know I was on my way home, but thought better of it. I didn't want the 'not getting one back' thing, I didn't think I could really handle that.

The taxi pulled up outside my house and I looked at the faint light that flickered from the living room window. Well, at least Jasper was still up. Paying the driver I got out and headed to the house. Placing my key in the door I opened it slowly, I wasn't sure what I would be facing when I saw Jasper, letting the door closed gently behind me. The hallway light flicked on. Jasper stood there, his gorgeous blonde curls all messy and all over the place. His eyes were a little red and puffy, he had been crying. My heart hit the bottom of my stomach. I half smiled at him not sure how else to greet him. Jasper suddenly crashed into me, sending me into the door. His arms locked tightly around my neck. Instinctively my arms wrapped around Jasper's body, my face pushed into his neck. Closing my eyes and breathing him in I could smell his wonderful intoxicating scent.

"I've been so worried about you." He pulled back from the hug grabbing my face in his hands and showering me with kisses. I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face. I was touched by his concern for me. "Are you okay, babe? What happened? What did they say?" He took my hand and pulled me into the living room.

His hand stayed locked in mine as he sat next to me on the sofa. His knees curled up with his heels under him, curling into me. I kissed the top of his head, happy that I hadn't come home to the worst.

"They charged me with common assault because she hit me first and a fine of two grand for Alice to have dental work done." The relief washed over his face. "Have you really been concerned, baby?" He nodded his head and rested it on my shoulder. My heart rate picked up slightly as love washed over me.

"I love you. I know I was being an ass when you left and I felt bad about it. I didn't think you were going to come home tonight." I chuckled softly pulling him closer to me.

"I knew I would get out. They never arrested me, I went on my own free will. Wanna beer?" I asked. I really needed a drink badly, I needed to relax and unwind with Jasper next to me.

"I'll get it. Stay there and don't move." I cocked an eyebrow at him. "Stay put." He ordered. I chuckled at him as he walked out of the room.

Waiting for him to come back in I stood up and waited by the door. I had other ideas and sitting on the sofa wasn't part of them. As Jasper walked back in and I took a bottle off him taking a swig before grabbing his hand and leading him upstairs.

"Where are we going?" You can be thick sometimes Jazz, really and truly thick.

"You'll see." Was my simple reply to him as I led him into his bedroom. Kicking my shoes off as I entered I stripped off down to my boxers and climbed into his bed. Jasper stood at the door looking a little unsure, I chuckled. "Come here, baby. I just want to relax with you in my arms." He smiled widely at me and quickly stripped down. The sight of his nipple ring got my mind racing. I wanted to fuck him, but at the same time it wasn't what I needed.

He crawled in bed next to me curling into my ready waiting arms. Kissing the top of his head I felt myself relax into him even more. Would it be safe to say that Jasper was my home? That's what it felt like. Having him close to me like this made me feel complete and happy, made me feel like this was what I had been looking for my whole life.

"Let me pay half the fine, babe. It's only fair. If it wasn't because of me, you would have never hit her." I shook my head and picked up the beer that I had placed on the side of his bed.

"Don't be stupid, Jazz. I lost my temper when the rabid bitch bit me, if I hadn't done that then none of this would have happened." He lifted his head up and looked at me, his face becoming all serious with me.

"Yeah, but she is my ex and it's only fair." He tried again. I sighed and kissed the end of his nose.

"Jazz, no. The only thing I want you to do is stay by my side, do that and I'll be forever happy." He smiled, his blue orbs shining at me full of love and care.

"I will, as long you stay by mine." His eyes clouded with mixed emotions that I couldn't really tell. So many flickered through in a matter of seconds that I didn't have time to register them all. "Am I doing the right thing?" He asked dropping his eyes away from me. I bit my bottom lip while I thought about it.

This was hard to answer. I knew that he was now talking to me as his best friend, not his boyfriend, but how could I handle this right? I wanted Jasper, I wanted him to stay by my side and not leave. I had grown so used to the feel of the skin of his skin next to mine that it was hard to think that this thing between us was only a few days old. Even though this was our second attempt it seemed as though it was more our first try. There wasn't anything holding either of us back now. Jasper had come out and gone public which was what I wanted him to do. I had told him why I have this trust issue, and why it was so important for me for him to go public.

"Jasper." I started, but then stopped, pushing myself up the bed so I was sitting up more. His face was full of hidden emotions that he was trying to block out, or trying to stop getting out. I touched his face feeling the fire burn between us. "You have to do what is right for you, what you feel is right. Jasper, I want you, you know that. I love you, you also know that, but if this between you and I isn't what you want then you say so. I know you're scared now. More so than what you were before because of your parents, but that doesn't mean that what we have is wrong. If they can't accept that you're happy and you have found love then there is something wrong with them. I don't mean to be disrespectful towards them." His jaw tightened as he turned his head slightly, the sight of a single tear shimmering down his cheek broke my heart.

Wiping the tear away and cupping his cheek I turned his face towards me smiling softy. "Jazz, I will always be here for you. Things between us may have grown and become more intense, but I was your best friend first and I always will be. I love you." His lip trembled slightly as his eyes glistened with unshed tears.

"I love you, too." He slowly crawled up my body until his lips met mine. I moaned softly as I felt the tip of his tongue trail across my bottom lip before he nibbled it gently. I smiled against his lips before pulling back slowly from him.

I slid down the bed bringing Jasper tightly into my arms. His body trembled slightly as I felt the warmth of his tears hit my chest. His fingers dug into my sides as he continued to hold tighter to me. I wrapped my arms tighter round him rubbing small circles on his back until he calmed down. Slowly his grip loosened on me and his breathing evened out. He relaxed into my arms as he fell to sleep. Kissing the top of his head I wondered what was going on inside his parents heads.

He still hadn't told me what Rose had said, what his parents had said after he left. I wanted to know, wanted him to share it with me, but I knew I couldn't push him on it. He would talk once he was ready and had his mindset ready. Though while I was waiting for that I could find out myself. It was a tempting idea, call Rose and ask her. It would put my own mind at rest, but I knew that if I did that then I would be breaking his trust in me. It would be disloyal to do it to him, so I pushed the thought aside and waited. Waited for him to talk and tell me what had been said that had gotten him upset again.

********

I woke up with Jasper still in my arms, his body curled tightly to mine. He looked so peaceful, almost angelic. All he was missing was the white wings. His blonde curls acted like a halo round his head, his softly tanned skinned almost glowing in the early morning sunlight, he truly was gorgeous, and he was all mine.

Placing a parting kiss on his forehead I slowly and gently slipped out of the covers. He stirred slightly and murmured, but didn't wake up. Grabbing my clothes off the floor I crept out of his room. I had to place my hand over my mouth to stop the giggles that wanted badly to come out as my mind thought back to all the times I had woken up at some guys house and crept out without being seen. I felt so much like that, like I wanted to get out of there and not wake anyone up so I didn't have to deal with the whole, 'I was drunk, you're really not my type.' conversation that only ever ended in disaster.

Closing his bedroom door softly a small chuckle escaped my lips. I didn't want to wake my sleeping beauty up, my semi-gay bunny need his sleep. I chuckled again, probably best not to tell him I mentally called him sleeping beauty. He didn't look too impressed over the semi-gay bunny remark. Dumping my clothes into the hamper I headed into the shower to try and release some of the knots that now sat in my neck and shoulders thanks to the recent events of late. It helped a little, but not a lot. They say the path of true love never runs smoothly. I had never really thought about it before, thought whether it was true or not. Before I just thought that people used to say this sort of shit when things were rough between them, almost as though it was some sort of excuse for why they were always fighting all the time, now though I wasn't so sure.

I knew that I loved Jasper. I knew that I loved him more than I had ever loved anyone before in my life, and right now this was hard, it was like being attacked from all angles. Never before had I been in a relationship where everything was so rough and hard to begin with, so maybe there was more to this path of true love than I had first thought. Stepping out of the shower I wrapped a towel around my waist and headed into my bedroom. Sitting on the edge of my bed I cracked my back. Sleeping on Jasper's bed wasn't a good idea, mine was so much more comfy and I didn't wake up with a sore back.

Throwing on a pair of sweatpants and hooded sweater I grabbed my phone and trainers before heading out my bedroom door. Running down the stairs I headed into the kitchen to write Jasper a quick note before pulling on the trainers and heading out the door. I still had a lot of pent up frustration left over, and I was hoping that this run would give me a chance to clear my head a little. I was still so unbelievably pissed off with Alice and his parents. The more I thought about it, the more my head started to hurt.

As I turned the corner to head into the park I spotted Emmett. I groaned slightly knowing that if he saw me he was going to come and ask questions. I should have known that Emmett would be out for a run at this time in the morning. His running habits haven't changed in all the years I had known him and of course he was going to see me. Emmett seems to have a sort of tracker built into his head where if you're in the same place as him he will locate you and feel you out.

"Eddie, boy." He boomed at me from across the park. Jesus, does he always have to be so loud?

"Em." I called back noticing he had altered his course and was now making a beeline towards me. Oh fuck off, Em, please.

"You wanna tell me something? Me and Seth saw you New Year's Eve. We saw Jazz make a beeline and kiss you, so what's it all about?" I rested my hands on my hips taking a few deep breaths.

"We're together." Emmett started to laugh which only relit the fire of rage that had been running around my system for the last forty-eight hours. "Thanks a lot, Em." I started to turn and head away from him, but he grabbed my hand.

"Dude, sorry. Look, I'm just shocked, that's all. The last I knew Jazz was into women. When did this all happen?" I ran my fingers through my now damp sweaty hair and looked at him.

"It's a long story how it happened, but it's early days. His parents haven't taken it too well. Alice told them about us." A look of surprise crossed his face.

"How... when?" Emmett was great at not needing to know the in betweens of it all, the outline was enough for him.

"New Years Eve. Look Em, if you see Jazz don't give him a hard time, even in a joke. He's having a hard time as it is with his parents." Emmett simply nodded at me and grinned.

"I won't. Look, I'm happy for you both. It's cool. I've not got a problem. Shall I tell Seth if I see him or do you want me to keep it to myself for now?" He asked. I thought about it for a minute or two trying to decide what was the best thing to do here.

"Just leave it for now, Em. I'll talk to Jazz and see what he says." He nodded his head at me.

Saying our goodbyes I headed back home realising that this run wasn't helping my head at all. In fact, it was making it worse as I was only doing more thinking than I had been doing already. Opening the front door and heading into the kitchen I was shocked to see a slightly upset Jasper. His face looked all drawn, his eyes were dull and red from his tears of last night. I smiled softly, warmly at him wondering what was wrong with him as I pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge.

"What's wrong?" I asked leaning back against the worktop, he shook his head at me. "Come out with it, Jazz. What's eating at you?" I pushed again at him. This really bugged me. I could see there was something wrong and yet he denies it.

"You'll laugh at me." He pouted making me chuckle. He shot me a dirty look, I held my hands up, I didn't mean to chuckle at him, it just sort of happened.

"Sorry. Come on, baby, tell me." I tried again hoping that this time he would tell me.

"I thought you had gone." Well I wasn't expecting that. "I woke up and you weren't there, the door was shut. You weren't in your room or in the bathroom, you weren't down here. I thought you had decided to reject me too." Aw, my poor baby, how could he think I would ever reject him? Walking to where he sat I bent down and took hold of his hands, placing a kiss on each of his knuckles.

"I will never reject you, baby. I went for a run. I left a note on the fridge. Didn't you think to look there?" He shook his head. "Or you called have called me to find out where I was. You looked so peaceful this morning I didn't want to wake you up." I leant forward and captured his lips with mine, feeling him relax. His parent's rejection had effected him badly, I didn't think he would ever think this of me.

"Sorry, I was being stupid." I smiled and kissed his soft lips once again. "Um, tonight, can I come with you to the club?" He asked looking a little embarrassed

"Of course. I saw Emmett on my run, he knows about us." His face screwed up slightly almost as if he was dreading what the outcome would be.

"And what does he think of us being together?" I smiled and touched his cheek feeling him turn into my touch.

"He's fine with it. Shocked, but fine. Baby, you don't need to worry." He nodded his head and smiled a little. His face gave him away that he was unsure with Emmett. He needed to hear it from him, not from me.

After spending the rest of the day talking and relaxing I took another shower and changed for the club. This would be the first time that Jasper had been in there since New Year's Eve, since he kissed me in front of a packed club. I was happy that he wanted to come with me, it was something he had to do to be able to get used to it. I knew he would be a little nervous holding my hand into there. I wasn't expecting him to be stuck by my side all night, though it would be nice, but having small little moments was enough. I didn't want him to rush and freak out on me.

Getting out of the car Jasper surprised me by taking my hand straight away. Although I wanted him to do this, it caught me off guard a little as I didn't think he would do it so fast. With a soft smile on my face I looked at him only to see him beaming at me. He pulled my hand and started walking toward the club, he was taking the lead. I was happy to have this, happy that he felt comfortable enough to be able to hold my hand without being prompted and actually pull me towards the club.

The closer we got the tighter his grip became. I heard him suck in a large breath as we walked through the main doors of the club. Squeezing his hand reassuringly he turned towards the stairs that led to my office. He looked over his shoulder and smirked at me, it was the sexist thing I hand seen him do, his eyes were all mischievous as they danced at me. I smiled back wondering what he had in mind. He waited at the top of the stairs for me to unlock the door and go in. Once inside he locked the door behind him and walked towards the desk, his fingers ran across the dark cherry wood desk lightly. He licked his lips and looked at me.

"I brought these from your room." He pulled out a condom and a small bottle of lube from his coat pocket. I smirked and cocked an eyebrow at him.

"And you're planing what?" I asked moving closer towards him. He moved away from me making me pout.

"And I found these." He pulled out a set of handcuffs from his other pocket. I was shocked. When had Jasper been through my things? Not that I minded, but where did he suddenly get this idea from?

"I'm thinking we put these into good use along with the desk." He purred at me. That fucking purr was a killer, it went straight to my dick, making it twitch. I groaned softly already thinking about having Jasper over my desk.

"The handcuffs are a nice touch Jazz, but the object of them is to have you cuffed down to something, so that won't work with the desk." I watched as he tapped them against his lips. Surely he wasn't serious about using them.

"There." He pointed to the pipe on the wall. "We move the desk to the wall and you and can cuff me to the pipe." Fuck me, he was serious.

Without giving it a second thought the desk was cleared in one sweep of my arm and the desk pushed against the wall. Our lips crashed together hard as hands began unbuttoning shirts and jeans, eager to get started. Gripping his hair tightly in my hands I yanked his head to the side and licked up his neck causing Jasper to moan loudly. His hands trailed down my stomach making a shiver run down my spine while I attacked his neck. His hand dipped below the waistband of my boxers grabbing my rock hard cock. I moaned against his neck causing me to nip up it. Jasper's shirt was quickly removed and thrown to the ground along with mine as our lips met again. The sheer need for one another was almost overpowering as I felt his hard cock press into my thigh.

"Edward, please... I need you now." His plea made me even harder, just hearing him say he needed me was enough to make me cum there and then.

Removing the last items of clothes I grabbed the handcuffs and handcuffed one of his wrists before bending him over the desk and threading the other cuff through the gap between the pipe and the wall and then cuffing it Jasper's other wrist. The chain in between the two cuffs was longer than your average handcuffs. I had had the chain lengthened a few years back, figuring out that a bigger chain was better than a shorter one at that time.

I looked at Jasper already breathing heavy and bent over the desk handcuffed down. He was completely at my mercy, he clearly trusted me enough to leave himself in such a open position.

"You know, Jazz, I could just leave you like this. You didn't think about that one, did you?" He chuckled at me and turned his head so he could look over his shoulder as I entered a well lubed finger into his tight hole.

"Just shut up and hurry up will you. I need you now." He groaned out as I added a third finger, as if I could deny him what he wanted, though I liked this bossy side of Jasper.

Adding a third Jasper gasped slightly and tightened up. Running my other hand up the back of his spine softly I stopped when I reached his cheek and stroked it, trying to relax him, letting him know I wouldn't hurt him. He sucked in a few deep breaths and started to relax. Thrusting my fingers slowly in and out of him Jasper soon started to moan.

"I'm ready, please just fuck me." He said breathlessly. His cheeks were already slightly flushed red as I removed my fingers.

Tearing open the foil packet with my teeth I rolled it down my hard length before coating myself with lube. Placing myself at his entrance I lent forward and kissed the soft skin on his back before slowly pushing the head in. Jasper let out a sharp gasp of pain and I stilled my movements waiting for him to get used to me. He relaxed slowly as I pushed a little more, gently thrusting in and out of him until I was completely buried deep within him. I couldn't stop the moan of pleasure that escaped my lips once fully in.

"Jazz..." His name rolled off my tongue in a breathless whisper. He moaned gently as I thrust slowly in and out of him to begin with. The sheer need to pick my pace up and fuck him senseless overtook me as I started to slam into him harder and faster.

His moans became more and more loud, followed by a string of curses. Hitting his sweet spot over and over again I knew I wouldn't last much longer. The thought of Jasper being powerless below me turned me on even more.

"Edward!" Jasper screamed out as my hand reached down to his rock hard cock. Within a few strokes Jasper shot his load all over my hand and desk. His ass clenched around me pushing me closer to my own release.

My thrusts became more frantic and urgent, and I rammed into him. Every muscle in my body clenched. My toes curled as I came hard, throwing my head back and crying out in sheer pleasure. I collapsed on top of his back breathing hard. I kissed his spine gently before pulling out of him and throwing the condom in the bin. Moving back to Jasper I carefully pressed the safety buttons on the cuffs releasing his wrists from them. I could see the red marks around his wrists where he had fought against them.

"I love you." I whispered in his ear just before he pulled himself up off the desk. He turned to face me, his face blissfully happy, glowing almost. His lips brushed against mine gently.

"I love you too." He smiled and looked around the room. "You got any tissues in here?" He asked me. I opened the drawer to the desk and handed him the box. Pulling my boxers back up I looked at a naked Jasper as he walked towards the bin, every muscle was well defined in that sexy body. I wanted to keep him in my arms forever.

"You shouldn't pull against the cuffs, baby." I kissed the red marks around his wrists. He grinned at me, love shining through his eyes.

"Maybe you will let me handcuff you down one day." His arms went around my neck as he placed a kiss on my lips. "Trust me the way I trust you." He whispered in my ear.

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**_Are we all happy with the revist to the desk? Was it hot enough for you and got all your bits tingling?_**

**_Please hit the review button my lovelys and send me some love, reviews are like hugs when your full of cold, and I could do with some. (begging much?)_**

**_Jen x_**


	18. Chapter 18

_**AN/ Did you all miss me yesterday? God I'm slacking aren't I? I blame the cold and the holiday's my mojo is being effected. Well this is the last update of 2009, god where has the year gone? I will be back with an update I think monday.**_

**_Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, it means a lot to me._**

**_Here's chapter 18!_**

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_**JPOV**_

It'd been four days since I had last spoken to my parents, since they threw me out of their house and decided that they didn't want a fag for a son. As the days moved on I had become a little bit better at handling my emotions since the first shock of them disowning me. I was still mad that they could continue to treat me like this. I was their son, that didn't change when I started sleeping with Edward. I was still the same person I was before any of this happened, yet I was now treated like an outcast in my own family. I did try to call them and speak to them, either of them. My father had answered and slammed the phone down the moment he heard my voice. When I tried again it just continued to be off the hook. That only added to my pain of rejection and I figured it would be better if I still stayed away from the phone for a while.

Edward had continued to be a great sense of support for me. After my attempt to speak to my parents which had ended with me sitting on the floor in the hallway crying like a bitch, he had pulled me into his arms and just let me sob. He never pushed for information from me, choosing to just comfort me with warm hugs and wet kisses. I didn't really deserve him. I had been so nasty to him, snapped at him countless times because of my anger towards my parents. In fact, I didn't deserve him full stop, but I was thankful to have him, to have him by my side when I felt so abandoned by my own family, felt? Hmm... that's laughable. I was abandoned by them, rejected more to it, and now for the first time in my life my confidence had flatlined. I had never, and I mean never had a problem with confidence. I'd never felt rejected, never felt abandoned. I oozed confidence out of ever pore of my body. I never once cared, or gave a flying fuck whether a girl decided that she didn't want me. I wouldn't even say it dented my male ego, there were plenty more fish in the sea, as they say.

Okay, that's a lie. It dented the old male ego, but not to a point where it would effect me, but now? With Edward? I feared that he would reject me at some point, like I fucked him around in the beginning and then gave everything up for him only for him to reject me and leave me. It would only serve me right and it would of course be that wonderful thing called karma.

If I had to pick a word for how I was right now with Edward it would be clingy. I was clinging onto him for dear life. I wanted to be with him and not apart from him. I wanted him to heal the pain that's in my heart that's been caused by my parents. Being close to him, in his arms, I felt safe and loved, content in knowing that nothing can hurt me with him next to me. I knew its all in the mind and that I didn't really need Edward next to me to stop the pain, but it made me feel better. Being left to dwell on my thoughts made me feel like crap, made me see that everything was so screwed up and nothing was ever going to be the same again.

He had already gone to the club, leaving me by myself in the house, left to wallow in my self-pity and wonder just where the fuck I went. How can your parents doing this actually cause you to lose so much of yourself? I had never been a needy person, other than when I wanted to get laid, but that's beside the point, but now I was needy and clingy and convinced that every fucker I know was going to reject me.

I needed Edward. I needed him to be here with me. I wanted a cuddle. I had work tomorrow, my first day back after the Christmas break, my first day back there after getting together with Edward. I knew Maria was dying to know the ins and outs of this. She had texted me a few times over the break, wanting to know just how we were doing and whether or not we had gotten together. She was thrilled when I texted her back and told her that we had actually gotten together.

Curling up on the sofa I turned my phone in my hands while thinking about texting Edward, just to let him know that I was thinking about him, and that I was missing him. I was missing him, more than what I thought I actually would ever miss someone. I almost felt something was missing, like a toe or finger or maybe a foot or an arm. It was surreal to have this feeling of being incomplete. I'd not changed in the last few months,I hadn't grown an extra body part or anything. I was still the same, but now something was missing, something that I never knew was there until it was opened up to me. The key turned and a world of love I never thought existed was laid in front of me.

"Hey babe, miss you, wish you were with me, J x" I hit send before I could think about cancelling it.

There was a trust issue between the two of us. Edward wouldn't trust me enough to bottom with me. He confessed that he thought I wouldn't want anything to do with him when he got arrested which I then laughed at. After everything, my parent's throwing me out and disowning me, I went right to him, I went to my home. Of course I could see why he thought that, I had blown hot and cold with him to begin with. We were both being pretty stupid and overthinking things through. My phone beeped into life, sending a great big smile across my face.

"_Hi, from Orange, your bill is now available to view on line."_ The text read. I grumbled words under my breath and threw the phone onto the sofa.

Yeah, I was gutted it wasn't him. I thought it would be, but then again he was at work, in a night club, a loud night club at that, where he wouldn't hear his phone. Why was waiting for a text or a phone call the hardest thing to do? No matter how many times you tell yourself not to look at it you do, no matter how many times you tell yourself that yes, your phone is on, it's not suddenly died on you, you still press the button every two minutes lighting up the screen 'just to be sure' and no matter how many times you tell yourself that looking and checking it isn't going to make it come any quicker, you still do it.

I could just forget about it. I had texted hundreds of people, friends, family, you name it, and the wait had never bothered me. I could text, put the phone to one side and forget all about it, yet when it comes to your partner you want that text back right away and brood over it until it comes. How sad was I becoming?

The word partner, hum I liked that thought, Edward as my partner, him being mine forever. I could live with that. I could still have the children I wanted with him, just it wouldn't be so easy as I once first thought. How amazing would it be to watch him play and laugh with our own child?

A silly little smile crept across my face as I thought about the possibility of us having a family, us sharing the same name, buy a house together. Yeah, we lived here in the same place, but this was somewhere we had shared with Emmett and Seth when we were at collage. I was thinking a real house, a real home, just me and him, both of us wearing matching rings, growing old together.

Fuck, was I really thinking about a future with him? A real future? Shit. Yes, I was. I was actually not just thinking it, but picturing it in my head, picturing our future, our life together. The realisation hit me that I wasn't scared by having this with Edward. I had already put so much on the line for him and lost my family because of him that this little thought, well, big thought, didn't scare me.

As the warm smile stayed on my face my phone beeped next to me. Picking it up and going into my messages I saw it was from Edward. My heart rate picked up and my stomach knotted slightly. He texted back, he texted back.

"_Missing you too, gorgeous. The club is packed out and I'm two down on the bar. It's gonna be a long night, E x" _

Sighing peacefully I flicked the TV off and climbed the stairs. I wasn't really tired as such, just more I longed for comfort that I had grown so used to from Edward, so going to bed was the closet thing I could get to his comfort. Of course that meant curling up in Edward's bed. Would he mind me being there? I suddenly thought as I entered his room like it was the most natural thing in the world to do. We had spent most nights together in the same bed. Edward more demanding that we sleep in his room as his bed was more comfy then mine. I couldn't argue that fact. It was, and it was also bigger, but would he be mad if he came home to find me asleep in his bed? I guess he could always kick me out of bed if he didn't want me there.

Stripping off I slid in between the cool cotton sheets of his bedspread pushing my face into his pillow and breathing in the wonderful scent that was Edward and washing powder. How badly did I want him with me, just to give me a hug and make me feel warm and safe. I was dreading tomorrow. I might have decided to face this head on, but I was still freaking slightly from it all. These people I worked with, had a laugh with, went to the pub on a Friday dinner with, if they rejected me then it wouldn't be the end of the world. I would just become the office loser.

Closing my eyes I thought about the fact that I needed to get in touch with Emmett and Seth, both had called me countless times over the break and I bypassed every call. Emmett had even taken to showing up after he bumped into Edward on his run the other morning. I had thought of a million excuses why I couldn't talk to him, ranging from I was sick to I was washing my hair. Edward had cried with laughter when I came out with that one, and then told me that Emmett didn't give a shit about us being together. Even with this in mind I still couldn't bring myself to talk to him because I was convinced he had only said this to Edward to make him happy and not fall out with him. I wasn't too sure that I would receive the same treatment as he did off Emmett.

Rosalie had been sure that our parents would be fine and look at how that one turned out? Was it too much to ask for people to just accept me for how I was? I hadn't changed. I was still me, still the same Jasper that collected panties in college and filled many women's dreams at night. The only thing that changed was that I was now seeing Edward and not a woman.

My mind had shut off and at some point I found myself being woken up gently to someone playing with my hair and stroking my cheek. I smiled knowing that Edward was home. I felt his lips kiss mine gently just once, but enough to set me on fire.

"Hmm... missed you." I mumbled out, stretching my arms out and wrapping them around him and pulling him closer.

"Missed you too, baby. Go back to sleep, it's just turned four in the morning." He whispered in my ear. I didn't want to go back to sleep. I wanted to see him and spend a little bit of time with him before work tomorrow. I knew I wouldn't see him in the morning as he would be asleep, so now was my only chance.

"No, I want to talk." I mumbled opening my eyes and seeing his soft orbs full of all his love shining in them. I sat up slightly noticing his bottle of water resting on the side. I lent over him giving him a quick peck on the cheek, and grabbed his bottle.

"Jazz, is something wrong?" I smiled weakly at him as I fastened the top back on the water bottle. I sighed and pushed myself into his arms. He kissed the top of my head and tightened his grip around me. I sucked in a deep breath.

"My dad is cutting me out of the will. I really am now officially disowned from my parents." I told him, finally I told him what Rose had told me days ago.

I felt as though I was admitting my parent were dead. They say the first step to getting over something is speaking out. Maybe this was my way of getting over their rejection, my first step to admitting that they would never want me anymore.

"I'm so sorry, baby. Really, I am. I......" He sighed. He had been so sure of my parents coming round and why shouldn't he have been? They had openly welcomed him into their home and never once acted differently towards him. "I thought he just needed time to cool off."

"Yeah.... well he is set on not having a fag for a son." Lifting my head up I saw his eyes closed, his head tilted back resting on the headboard, his face full of sorrow and pain. "Don't blame yourself for this." I whispered as my hand touched his beautiful face.

"How can I not? Your father has cut you out of his life because you're dating me." He sucked in a shaky breath. "I don't want you to lose your family because of me." A tear rolled down his cheek as his voice broke slightly at the end. I bit my lip while I thought and fought to find the right words, the right words to tell him that this, all of it, to me was worth it. He had shown me a love I never knew existed, made me feel things that I had never felt before. Above everything else in my life, in this world, he made me feel whole. Completely.

"Edward..." Moving my position so I was out of his arms and facing him I took hold of his hands in mine. His rough palms against mine felt so good. The firm thickness of his hand seemed to be perfect for mine, it was different from the soft delicate hands I held before. I realised now that they meant nothing, and he meant everything.

"As much as it hurt, and it does, I wouldn't change a thing. How I feel, how you make me feel and what I feel for you rule me. Everything I do is like a way of being with you, closer to you. I love you. You mean everything and if my father can't handle this, then fine." I kissed his hands and then brought my eye line to meet his.

"You told me that I have to do what makes me happy even if that means hurting others in the process, well this makes me happy. All of it. Being here in your bed next to you, being able to hold you close to me, to make love to you, this makes me happy. If this hurts my father or mother or whoever then they will have to deal with it themselves." A soft smile spread across his soft pouty lips making my heart melt.

"Glad to hear it, baby." He touched my chin bringing my face to his. "You have no idea how much I'm in love with you." His lips touched mine, so much love was poured into that one simple kiss. His forehead rested on mine as a smile played on his lips. "Go to sleep now, Jazz, you have work in the morning."

He slid down the bed and rolled over onto his stomach. My fingers trailed just above the waistband of his boxers, touching the little star that sat at the base of his back in the middle. It was the only bit of ink he had, he had gotten it as a reminder of his brother. Esme had been six months pregnant when she had gone into labour... his brother had lived for a few days. Edward never spoke about it, he kept it to himself and told people he had gotten the star one night when drunk. He only told me out of all his friends what it was for. I was with him when he had it done. It was the same night I decided to get my tongue and nipple pierced. I chuckled remembering the night.

"What are you chuckling over?" He murmured half asleep at me. Laying down next to him I turned and faced him giving him a kiss.

"You remember the night I got my nipple pierced?" He nodded and hummed a response at me.

"I remember you moaning for days after it, saying how sore it was and your shirt rubbed against it, or are you thinking about how you screamed like a bitch and then asked the guy if he wanted to take it outside?" His eyes were still closed with a smile on his lips. He looked so beautiful and relaxed like this.

"Hey, it hurt like a bitch. It was so sensitive, I couldn't even stand air on it, and I still reckon that guy hurt me on purpose. He was like metal man. Do you think he has trouble going through security at an airport?" He chuckled and laid his arm over me pulling me closer to him.

"I don't know." He gave me a kiss. "Sleep, baby." He murmured to me, his voice full of sleep. My eyes looked at the clock on his bedside table, it had just turned five. I had two hours until I had to be up.

Snuggling myself closer to him he rolled onto his side allowing me to curl myself into his chest. This was where I wanted to be all night long.

As I left for work in the morning I kissed Edward goodbye and told him I would call him at lunch. He murmured to me that he loved me and he would see me tonight. Part of me wondered if he would remember me leaving when he woke up or whether he would have no idea of the the parting kiss or the loving words I whispered in his ear before I left.

First day back at work was always going to be a bitch. The whole office would be in post holiday blues wishing they were still off and not dealing with the amount the paperwork that seemed to wonderfully just appear from thin air. Groaning I made my way into the office, looking at all the sad faces that I passed. I wondered if these people had found what I had found? That thought placed a smile on my face as I reached my floor. My smile never moved even when I saw Lauren lick her lips at me. Silly bitch. She probably thought I was smiling at her, if only she knew.

"Morning, Maria. Have a good Christmas?" I asked as I sat on the edge of her desk grinning like an idiot.

"Yes, but I'm guessing yours was better. Spill. Jazz, come on, you promised me you would fill me in on things." I chuckled and looked around the room quickly before leaning over slightly and whispering to her.

"It's amazing. I came out in front of everyone in the club on New Year's Eve. I've even been back to the club and held his hand all the way inside. I'm in love, Maria. Seriously in love." She wiped an invisible tear from her eye.

"Jazzabell, that's beautiful, you've turned all mushy." She joked. I smacked her arm playfully. "I'm playing, Jazz. I'm happy for you, and I'm so proud of you for accepting this. Well done. Have you told anyone?" The smile fell from my face slightly. My head dipped not wanting to look into her eyes.

"Yeah, my parents know. They haven't taken it well. Look, I don't want to talk about it here. I'll talk to you later, okay?" I jumped off the edge of her desk not really giving her time to answer and making my way over to my office.

Pushing the button to kick the PC into life I set about pulling the files I needed to go through out of my bag. It was sort of like homework, take them home and sort them out when you have five minutes, but that never happened. They had't seen light since I put them in there two and a half weeks ago. Spotting the red flashing light on my Blackberry, butterfly's fluttered in my stomach as my heart knew right away who it was.

"_The bed is cold without you here, wish my bunny was with me, love you E x"_ My heart skipped a beat reading his text, the silly goofy grin reappeared on my face as I texted back.

"Wish I was there. Talk to you soon, babe, love you J x" As I hit send on my phone I heard someone clear their throat. My muscles locked up almost as if my body sensed danger. Bringing my eyes up to see the person who cleared their throat they laid upon Lauren.

"Is that happy smile for me, Jazzy?" She purred walking closer to me slowly. "I missed you over the break." I acted as through she wasn't really there, choosing to click the the icons on the screen loading them all up. She held no interest to me anymore and now looking at her I wondered whatever had held my interest before. Stupidity, I guess.

"That's nice of you, Lauren. Shame it isn't neutral." Her eyes narrowed slightly before she laughed half-heartedly at me.

"Jazzy, don't play hard to get. I know you want me, you've been flirting with me for weeks." She cooed at me, resting her hands on my desk and leaning over slightly giving me a full view of her cleavage. I swallowed back the vomit that had crept up my throat.

"I'm not playing hard to get, you just don't do it for me. I'm about as hard as boiled pasta." I smirked feeling great about rejecting her like this.

"I'm sure I could sort that out for you." She purred in a sickening voice at me. Sucking in a breath I watched as she smiled thinking she had gotten me.

"I don't think my partner would like that somehow." She pushed back off my desk and crossed her arms over her chest pushing her cleavage closer together.

"Partner, huh? Since when did you come off the market?" She asked, disbelief in her voice that made me want to shout it at her. Instead I composed myself before replying simply at her.

"Since I found my boyfriend." Horror washed over her face for a split second while she tried to figure out if I was joking around or not.

"Boyfriend? Jazzy, you don't have to lie." It was my turn to laugh at her as I relaxed back in my chair.

"Oh, I'm not lying. Now if you don't mind, I have work to do." My attention turned back to the screen in front of me. I was aware that she was still standing there staring at me. Well, she can stare all she likes. I was not going to look.

Soon enough she huffed and left my office. It wouldn't be long until she would have told everyone in the office that I now had a boyfriend. They were going to find out one way or another, they may as well find out this way and Lauren can have some gossip for the rest of the day. It would keep her busy and out of my way.

Feeling proud of myself for actually admitting to someone else that Edward was my boyfriend I suddenly felt very cocky and full of myself, almost as though the old me was back. The looks I had clocked while words being whispered into each others ears only spurred me on to do what I would have done before. Knowing I was now the talk of the office I texted Edward.

"Want to meet me for lunch?" I texted while trying to get my head around the latest lump of crap that some idiot classed as their accounts.

"_Love too."_ The text arrived minutes after I sent mine. Drumming my fingers on the desk I thought about my reply and how I wanted to go about this. Once I had sent it there would be no going back.

"Come at one and come up to my office." Smiling I hit send and tried to focus on my work while I waited.

As the morning wore on I became less and less like the cocky and confident me and more and more like a nervous wreck. My mind couldn't focus on the work in front of me. Every time I tried to balance it all out I ended up with different sums. My great plan was now having a serious effect on my workload. One o'clock was fast approaching, time was speeding by, which was a good thing in a sense as I couldn't wait to see him, couldn't wait to feel his lips against mine, but in another sense I was shitting myself. This could outcast me here.

At two minutes to one I caught sight of his bronze hair heading towards my office. The nervousness slipped away as he flashed me a heartwarming smile. Standing from my desk I pulled my jacket on and walked towards the open door just as he approached it.

"Hey." His voice hit my ears and I lost control figuring that everyone knows I was seeing him, the office had been gossiping all morning, I might as well give them a show to really get their tongues wagging.

My slightly open mouth met his eagerly, letting our tongues touch softly tasting each other. It felt like it had been so long when it had only been hours. Pulling back slightly I smiled against his lips.

"Hi." I whispered hearing the sounds around us stopping, just the faint humming sound of the PC's working was the only noise to be heard. I laced my fingers through a slightly shocked Edward and led him out of the office smiling proudly.

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**_I know, no humps this time? God I must be ill, hehe._**

**_Who is proud of Jasper? He really is coming along way and getting to grips with things._**

**_Well my lovelys please hit the review button and send me love, Jen x_**


	19. Chapter 19

_**AN/ Happy New Year everyone, I hope you had an awesome time.**_

**_Thank you to everyon who reviewed the last chapter, wow guys I'm blown away I broke my review mark the other day so I'm super pleased! _**

**_My cold is FINALLY going, yey! But I've now given it to hubs and he has man flu, oh what a shame, sure he'll live. _**

**_Here's chapter 19!_**

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_**JPOV**_

The rain hit the windows outside as it thrashed down. I curled closer to Edward feeling the warmth come off his body, it had been four weeks since we had gotten together and they had been the best four weeks of my life. Since my little show at work I had been the talk of the office floor. I didn't even care when some of the guys stopped talking to me because I had 'Gone weird' as they put it. I was past caring with these people. Yeah, I worked with them and I classed some of them as friends, but I had come to realise that the only person whose opinion mattered was Edward's.

There were a handful of people who shocked me slightly when they stopped talking to me and at the time I was a little hurt, but not now. My lunch breaks now consisted of me meeting Edward and having lunch with him, sitting in a local bar somewhere having dinner and chat before I headed back to work. It was perfection, not to mention it was funny to see the looks coming from Lauren every time he showed up at work. Smiling to myself I lifted my head from his chest and turned round onto my stomach. His eyes were closed with the most perfect little smile on his lips that told me he was still awake and hadn't fallen back to sleep.

"I love you." I murmured to him as I kissed up his neck creating a shiver of pleasure to run through him.

His arms pulled me closer to him as our open mouths met, our tongues touched and danced to together, tasting each other. Moaning into the kiss I crawled over his body feeling his erection press against mine. He moaned slightly as I rolled my hips creating friction between the two of us. One of his hands found themselves in my hair gripping it tightly, as his other hand reached down and squeezed my pert ass. Our breathing was hard as our lips broke apart. My lips kissed and nipped at his jaw before moving down his neck, sucking and biting, marking him as mine. The friction picked up as Edward rolled his hips back meeting mine. God, I wanted him. I wanted him badly. My mind filled with thoughts of making love to him, taking his cherry, which turned me on even more. The subject had come up more than once, and every time he had shot me down. I could understand that he was a top, and that's how he was, but it angered me slightly that he wouldn't even try it with me, not even once. I had accepted it and given up, knowing that a part of him would never be mine no matter how much love we shared. He would always hold that small part of him back.

"Jazz, I need you." He groaned out as the friction got more and more intense. Pulling my top half up away from his body so I was straddling his hips I went to move off him, but he grabbed my waist. "Stay there, I want you to ride me." His voice came out thick and husky in almost a purr as his hooded lust-filled eyes locked onto mine.

Reaching onto the bedside table he picked up the lube and a condom that now always seemed to be out on display. I guess it was just easier than having to go into the drawer every time we fucked. Moving further up his body a well lubed up finger entered me. The first pain had long gone now, only giving me pleasure. As he entered a second finger into me a growl ripped through my chest, making Edward bite his bottom lip. His fingers worked stretching me for him, my rock hard cock dripped with pre-cum as it throbbed.

Knowing I was ready for him I picked up the condom and tore the packet open before rolling it down his hardened length. Coating him in lube Edward squirmed and writhed moaning softly as I stroked him. Shifting myself I got ready to slide down his beautiful cock. Feeling his head touch my entrance before slowly siding down I gasped as ecstasy crashed through me. My nerves tingled with the sensation of feeling him enter me. My head rolled back as a hum of pleasure left my lips completely, being impaled onto him.

"Jesus, baby... you feel so good." He moaned out as his eyes locked with mine. I slowly moved up and down his cock taking him as far as I could before going back up slowly. His hips thrust upwards slowly meeting my movements as I added a roll of my hips. His hands gripped my hips helping me as my thighs took the pressure of our act.

Before too long I felt him hit my sweet spot deep within. Pleasure ripped through me as I fought to stay in control. My eyes closed of their own accord as my body lost itself in the wonderful feelings he was giving me. The pleasure was almost too much as my movements picked up, going up and down, faster and faster. His thrusts met every one of mine telling me just how close he was. His face was a picture of pure bliss as he moaned my name out breathlessly.

His hand gripped my rock hard cock matching his stokes to my movements. "So close baby, cum for me." His hand gripped me even tighter as I screamed in sheer delight, feeling myself just hanging over the very edge. With a hard slam down, his cock slammed right into my sweet spot sending me crashing over the edge.

"Fuck!" I screamed out and shot stream after stream of my cum all over his chest. He continued to hit my sweet spot prolonging my orgasm. Edward stilled as a soft long moan left his lips as he came. I collapsed on top of him, breathing hard and feeling utterly drained.

I lifted my head off his shoulder to see his smouldering green eyes full of love. A light shimmer of sweat covered his face and body as our lips met softly, almost delicately, full of love and passion. Our tongues danced gently together, enjoying each other's taste. Smiling against his lips I moved off him grabbing the wet wipes off the side to clean up. Pulling on a pair of clean boxers I felt Edward's arms wrap around my waist, his chin rested on my shoulder as he squeezed tightly. I rested my head back against his shoulder as my hands fell on his, a smile spread across my face.

"I love you so much, bunny." I chuckled at the nickname he had given me. The warmth, the electric feeling ran through me over and over again. I could stay locked in this moment forever and never move, everything just felt right, just felt perfect.

Feeling content and happy the doorbell went breaking me, breaking us from our own world. I groaned out loudly as Edward chuckled. Why couldn't people just leave us alone on the weekend?

"It's more than likely Emmett." Edward whispered kissing my neck. I had finally sucked it up and gone to see him. With my fear of rejection hanging over my head I put on a brave face which turned out to be for nothing as my fears never came about. Emmett simply hugged me, told me he was happy for me and went on about his business as though it was nothing. I couldn't have been happier.

"You get the door, I'm going for a shower, baby." Rolling my eyes I pulled on some clothes and quickly ran down the stairs thankful that the doorbell hadn't gone ten minutes earlier.

My heart stopped as I froze, taking in the sight before me. It took me a minute to remember to breathe as the woman let out a slight smile.

"Hello, Jasper." My eyes were wide open from sheer shock as my heart drummed loudly in my chest. My breathing came out in gasps as I tried to catch my breath.

"Mum." I somehow managed to get out. She was here, here to see me. "Come in." I held the door open still shocked that she had turned up.

All the times I had called and neither of them had spoken to me, and now here she was. My mum was here to see me. I wasn't sure if this was a good thing or not, if this would lead to a rift being healed or just made wider.

"Drink?" I asked as I started to walk towards the kitchen. "I see dad's not with you." Yeah, that hadn't escaped me that he wasn't here. Should I be surprised by that? I doubted it from what Rose had told me. The household had been a living war zone since New Year's and all of this was my fault.

"Your father doesn't know I'm here, and a water will be fine." Way to be formal mum, it's almost as though you're seeing your accountant and not your son.

"Oh." Grabbing two mugs off the drainer and flicking the kettle on I grabbed a glass out the cupboard. "Tap or bottle?" I heard her long sigh that sent a displeasing shiver through me. "Spit it out, mum. You're here for a reason, so let's hear it." There wasn't much point in wasting time.

"Jasper." She started as I turned around to face her. "This.... you and Edward.... do you not think it's time to stop this... this palaver." She said using hand gestures at me, I almost laughed.

"Palaver? Is this what you think this is? Just some game, a joke, something to bring shame to our family?" I wasn't sure if I was more angry or hurt by this, so many emotions crashed through me.

"Jasper, you're not gay. You have never, not even once, shown the slightest bit of interest in any other men other than Edward." She took a sip of water as I heard the bathroom door open, my jaw clenched tight.

"The other month you were going to marry Alice, a woman. Now you're suddenly sleeping with Edward. Just what has come over you? We were expecting grandchildren." She beseeched at me. Folding my arms over my chest I took a sharp breath.

"Nothing has gotten into me. I'm still me, I'm still your son." I protested though somewhat in vain. The look on her face was pure disgust as her grey blue eyes pierced my skin.

"You're suddenly sleeping with a man. Is it drugs? Is this why you're suddenly selling yourself?" Laughter erupted through me as I stared at my mother. I had heard some crazy things from her before when I was growing up as most kids have from their parents, but this... this was the craziest thing ever.

"I'm not selling myself and I'm not on drugs either. Bloody hell, what does drugs have to do with this? I fell in love with my best friend who just so happens to be a man and now I must be on drugs?" I screamed at her hoping that Edward would stay upstairs for now.

"Love? How can you be in love with Edward? Two guys can't possibly fall in love with one another, that's not how love works." She mocked. "You're just confused." I could have cried with how ironic this all seemed.

"Confused? Yeah, I have been. In fact, I almost went out of my mind in the beginning, but I'm not confused now. I know what I want. How can you say that we can't love each other? You don't know how I feel, how he makes me feel, what we share together. Just because our love is between two men that doesn't mean it's any different from the love you share with dad." I protested as she shook her head at me.

"You're giving your father health problems, his blood pressure has gone through the roof because of all of this. Do you realise what you're doing to him, to our family?" My mother screamed back at me, heels were now digging in. Fighting with my mother was always the same, neither one of us was willing to back down. We were too much alike that way.

"What I'm doing to him? Are you out of your mind? He disowned me, cut me out of the will. Do you know how rejected I have felt? How abandoned it made me feel to know my parents wouldn't even answer the phone to me? I haven't done anything to this family. You're the ones that have turned your backs on me." I yelled back as my hands gripped the countertop behind me in a vain hope of not destroying anything as my temper raged through me.

"Stop this nonsense, Jasper. Your father is willing to put you back in the will as long as you stop this nonsense with Edward." I choked out a laugh at her.

"So if I break this off with Edward, then I'm allowed back in the family? Give up my happiness just to please you and dad? No fucking way, not a chance. I have laid everything on the line to be with him. I have overcome so much and I'm not willing to give it up because you think I should and get back in the family. That, mother, is not family, it's a dictatorship. Family is meant to love and support each other, no matter what. They don't judge or turn their back because one does something that the others don't like or disagree with. They should be proud of their children no matter what path in life they choose." We stared at each other for a moment, almost as though we were recollecting ourselves before we went again.

"Other parents don't act like this, mum." My voice came out as a whisper to her, she laughed throwing her head back.

"You mean like Esme and Carlisle?" Her eyes narrowed at me and she spoke almost baiting me to snap back.

"At least they're proud of their son for who he is and not what they want him to be." I defended back. She laughed again placing a hand on her chest.

"Oh yes, I'm sure they're very supportive of him. I can almost see Carlisle and Esme being at some gay pride bash in full support of their son, it's disgusting." Please be upstairs up, Edward. Please be upstairs, Edward, I chanted to myself. I didn't want him to have to hear this shit about his parents.

"How is it disgusting to support your son?" I asked her. "You know what? Just forget it, just go. You have made your point and I'm not changing my mind, so go. I've accepted that my parents are now dead." She rose from the chair and looked at me. I thought I almost saw a faint glimmer of sadness in her eyes before the mask was quickly replaced with a stern cold look.

"Is this how it is then, Jasper? You're just abandoning the family for the sake of your queer friend?" She asked picking up her bag.

"I guess I am, but then again you have already abandoned me, so what's the difference?" I felt drained now after all the fighting I had just done with my mother. It left me completely drained to a point where I couldn't argue anymore.

"Well, you have made your choice. I'll see myself out." Her parting words rang in my ears as I heard her leave the house, the door slamming behind her.

My eyes closed as I turned around facing the wall, my hands rested on the countertop as my head dropped down. This was really it then. My relationship with my parents just ended all because I wouldn't change my mind over Edward. Why should I? Why should I let my happiness go just to please them, live my life in some unhappy, boring relationship that I don't want just to stay in the family. They could go to hell if that's what they want.

"Thank you." His voice whispered to me as his fingers touched the base of my back sending a shiver down my back in a pleasurable way.

"You heard?" I asked him feeling like shit that he had heard my mother speak about his parents. I had hoped that he wouldn't have heard that part. Feeling him move to stand next me to me I opened my eyes to see him resting his back on the countertop, his arms folded across his chest, his biceps pushing against the material of his blue T-shirt, he had his glasses sitting on his nose. I was never really into glasses, but fuck he could make them look sexy.

"It was pretty hard not to hear the shouting that was coming from you two. You didn't have to defend my parents, Jazz, but thank you for doing that." He smiled warmly at me, but his eyes were burning with fire.

"She had no right to bring them into this. Your parents did the right thing and supported you with your choice. They embraced the man that you are." Leaning myself closer to him my lips met his awaiting mouth in a cherishing way before pulling back and looking at him.

"Jazz...." He sighed. "I'm sorry." He pushed up the rim on his glasses that had slid down his nose and ran a hand through his messy wild bronze hair.

"It's not your fault. I made my choice, babe. If they can't accept it, then it's their loss." That hurt to admit that. "If it was you, what would you have done?" I asked him as the sting from my fight with my mum picked at my chest.

"Pretty much the same as you. I am who I am and I'm not going to change for anyone. I guess I've been more than lucky with mine just accepting me for me, which reminds me..." He grinned at me in a way that made me think I wasn't going to like this one bit.

"Reminds you of what?" I asked as I finally finished off the drink I had started to make when my mother arrived.

"We have been invited to Sunday lunch with my parents." I groaned out making him chuckle. "What's with the groan, Jazz? It's not like they don't know about us or you have never been there before." Yeah, that's the point.

"Why? They know me. I know them. Why must we go to lunch there?" He looked at me as if wondering why I was asking these questions. I didn't want to go, they could easily reject me just like my own parents did.

"Because they want to see us, Jazz. They're happy for us. They would like to see us together as a couple." I was sure they would, but I was not going. My face screwed up and he sighed. "We don't have to go any time soon, but she won't get off my case until we go. Look, Jazz." He took hold of my hands. "If you're worried about how they will act around us now, don't be. They won't be any different to you now as they were before. They're not about to rip into you because you switched sides or reject you, they're not like that."

"Promise?" I asked him feeling like a child. I scratched my forehead and looked at him. "I'm being stupid, aren't I?" He nodded his head and wrapped his arms around me pulling me closer to him.

"It's understandable, really. Your parent's have rejected you for being with me. I understand that you're worried that everyone around will do the same, but they won't. Emmett and Seth never batted an eyelid about it. The only concern my parent's had was, are you sure about us? That's only because they don't want to see me get hurt." He placed soft loving kisses on my face. I smiled resting my head on his shoulder and relaxing into him until his phone went off.

Rolling his eyes and mouthing "club" at me he went into the living room taking his coffee with him. Releasing a long sigh unable to comprehend just how drained I felt and how much better I felt for releasing it all out there. Telling my mother to go and admitting that I was out of their lives was hard to swallow, but knowing the negativity had now been removed had made me feel so much better for it, in some strange sort of way.

Rose was still on my side even though I was sure she was getting hell for it off our parents. Emmett and Seth were supportive. I had other friends like Maria who were also. I might have lost my own parents, but I'd found out who my true friends are.

"I have to go in tonight, sorry." He pulled his glasses off and rubbed his eyes. "I'm short staffed as the flu seems to be ripping through my workers." I pouted sightly knowing that it wouldn't do much good.

"I'll come and help if you want. I don't mind working the bar with you." He chuckled picking up the paper. "What?" I asked him as he continued to laugh at me.

"The last time you helped me behind the bar, you thought you were some hot shot bar man throwing bottles around trying to catch them. I want to sell the alcohol I have, not have it all over the floor." He mused at me, fucker.

"Hey, I wasn't that bad. I promise not to try it again. You have already said you're short staffed tonight, so let me help. Besides I was looking forward to us spending the night together." I grinned at him almost begging him with my eyes to let me come and play.

"Fine, but no throwing bottles around, okay?" I nodded my head and sat down picking an apple from the fruit basket and taking a bite.

"Can I ask you something?" Even though I had somewhat accepted that Edward wouldn't bottom I still felt I needed a better explanation than he doesn't want too.

"Sure." He said pushing his glasses back up his nose and turning the page of the paper.

"Don't freak at me, but do you trust me?" His head came up from the paper, his face all confused as to why I was asking this.

"Yes, why?" He asked closing the paper and giving me his full attention. I sucked in a deep breath and watched his face look almost panic-stricken.

"If you trust me, then why won't you bottom for me?" Every possible emotion left his face, his eyes darkened in fury at me as he sat back on the chair.

"How many times are we going to have to go through this? I don't bottom, Jasper, end of. It's a personal choice. Will you please just respect that and leave it be?" His tone was calm, but there was a hint of his anger laced through his words.

"But I want a reason, Edward. Surely there must be a reason why you won't do it. You told me yourself that you have never even tried it, so how do you know? You might like it." He snorted at me and removed his glasses.

"Jasper, not every gay man on the fucking plant switches. A lot of couples have their roles and they don't switch around. I don't need a reason to say I won't bottom, it's not what I want." He folded his arms across his chest and stared at me waiting for my reply.

"Yes, but I want to try it with you. It's only fair after everything I have given up and put on the line, everything I have lost. Don't you think you owe me that much?" His eyes flashed with fire as they narrowed at me, his fist clenched on the table.

"Owe you? You think I owe you something?" He screamed at me. "You are not the only one that has put things on the line for this relationship. I got involved with a straight guy when I knew better, but I did it because I truly believe that what we have is real, so don't you ever tell me I owe you something when I owe you fuck all." Anger raised up in me, the backlash from fighting with my mother was still lingering in me, still firing me up.

"I lost my fucking parents because of you. You owe me a fucking lot and you won't even try it with me. What the fuck is all that about?" I yelled back, the neighbours must love us today.

"I owe you fuck all, Jasper. Don't fucking dare try and blame me for how your parents have reacted to you being with me. That isn't my fault." His temper was flaring and possibly getting the better of him, I certainly knew mine was as I hit back.

"Really? Not your fault? Bullshit. You were the one that fucked me that night. I was in no fucking state and you were. You didn't fucking stop, did you? You happily fucked me. Yeah, you must have been so pleased to have finally nailed me after all these years." I snapped back. Edward's fist slammed onto the table.

"You were fucking begging for it. Maybe I should have pushed you away that night, but I didn't. It wasn't one of my all time wishes. I have never had the slightest bit of interest in you before that night." He seethed through his teeth at me.

"You took advantage of me that night. In all of this it's been me that's had to change, not you, me. You have asked for everything, pushed me to come out before I was ready because you were fucking stupid last year and got involved with a married man. All of this has been to tailor to your own fucking insecurities." The pain washed through his eyes as I pushed on at him. I was pissed off at him. Why the fuck should it all be me that had to change? Why couldn't he change something for me?

"No fucking wonder you got taken for a ride Edward and fucking drained, you won't move for anyone. Your own stupidity almost ruined you and yet I'm the one that has to change everything just to suit you. Did you ever think that maybe I wasn't fucking ready for this? Ready to come out and be with you? No. That thought never popped into that fucking head of yours, because everything is always just about you." I saw his eyes well up slightly as I brought up what he told me and used it in a fight, something I knew I shouldn't have done.

"I told you that in confidence, not to have it thrown back at me. You know what, Jasper? I'm sure you could find someone to fuck up the ass because its not happening with me." His jaw flexed as he clenched his teeth shut.

"It's over, Edward. Go find some other fucker to fuck and fuck their life up. You certainly weren't worth it for me." Standing from the table I walked towards the door with my back to him. I heard him intake a shaky breath.

"Is that what you want then?" His voice shook as he spoke to me which only fired me up even more.

Without turning to face him I answered his question "Yes." Walking out of the kitchen I headed upstairs into my own room to grab some clothes before I hit the shower.

Walking across the hallway towards the bathroom I could hear his gentle sobs from the kitchen. I was too angry to fucking care. He could fucking cry. I hoped I did fucking hurt him. I hoped my words stung at him like his did to me every time he shot me down when I brought up him bottoming for me. Stripping off I got in the shower. My body shook with anger as the water hit my back and cascaded down my body. I wasn't going to think of him, think of how he made me feel. All I was going to do was think about how angry he had made me feel. After everything, he can't find it in him to give himself to me.

I had given up so much, changed everything, lost my parents, been the talk of the office and all of this was for him, yet the one thing I wanted he wouldn't give me. I knew I was wrong for bringing up his past in the argument. Things like that should never be used against each other, but he had gotten me so mad. I was furious with him and I hit back with the first thing that came into my head, it just so happened to be that from his past that came up first.

As I stepped out of the shower I wiped the mirror that had steamed up in the bathroom, seeing the bite marks and nips on my neck from this morning's love-making and yesterday's. My fingers carefully touched them, tracing them gently as I suddenly felt bad for what I had done. I had been so wrapped up in my anger that I didn't stop and think about how far I was going. I had put the blame on him for our first night together, when that was my fault. I put the blame on him for my parents when it wasn't his fault. Then I brought up his past and if that wasn't enough, I dumped him.

"Fuck!" I screamed out as I realised just what I had done. I loved him, loved him more than I had ever loved anyone in my entire life. I had let my anger get the better of me and I crossed the line. No, I crossed several and I didn't just cross them, I ran over them with a fucking bull dozer.

Changing quickly I left the bathroom needing to see him now and sort the mess I had made. Of course I didn't really mean it when I told him it was over. It was the anger talking, heat of the moment. I wanted him, I wanted a life with him, a family with him. I wanted it all, with him. Noticing his bedroom door was shut I walked towards it and knocked on it before opening it. He lay with his face pushed down on the pillow, as his back shook through the sobs he shed.

"Edward?" I whispered out feeling uncomfortable, seeing his pain, knowing I had caused this. I had made him feel like this.

"Get out!" He screamed at me lifting his head off the pillow and looking at me with red tear-soaked eyes. "Get fucking out of my room, Jasper!" He screamed through gritted teeth.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I …." He cut me off before I could even finish what I was saying.

"You're what? Sorry? What for? For taking something I told you in confidence and using it against me? Sorry for blaming me for everything? Sorry for telling me I took advantage of you that night? Or sorry for dumping me?" I took a step towards him. "Stay away from me, Jasper. Come fucking near me and I will put you on your ass." I stopped in my tracks knowing he wasn't joking. I didn't want to get into a fight with him.

"All of it, Edward. I was angry. I didn't stop and think. I just let it rip and didn't think of the aftermath of it all." Sorrow filled every inch of my words. I was sorry, sorry for saying what I said, sorry for hurting him.

"It's not good enough, Jasper. I fucking love you. Jesus, I'm fucking crazy about you and despite what you think I'm not stupid enough to allow you back in. Get out of my room, and stay away from me." He turned his head away from me and pressed his face back in the pillow, signalling the end of us.

Anger ripped through me again. I might have caused this fucking mess, but I had tried to sort it out after blowing off at him. I wasn't about to let him go, not without a fight. I had given up and lost too much, all for him. Fuck it if he hit me, he'll get one back. If it comes down to a fight, then so be it. I wouldn't let go of him, even though I had been the stupid one and fucked this up.

Before I could think about what I was doing I pounced on him, flipping him over so he was facing me. I straddled his waist and held onto his wrist as he fought back against me. Granted Edward was stronger than I was, but I managed to keep him pinned down on the bed. His face was murderous as he struggled to get me off him. His eyes were almost dark green with rage as he pushed back against me. I knew if I let go he would hit me, so I held on.

"GET THE FUCK OFF ME!" He screamed in my face as I pushed myself down on him harder using the fact that I was on top to my advantage.

"LISTEN TO ME!" I screamed back gripping onto his wrists tighter. "I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't fucking mean it, you know I didn't. You know I say shit when I'm mad, that I don't think before I open my mouth. I fucking love you." I yelled back as he shook his head and tried to raise his hips off the bed in order to throw me off.

"Fuck you, get the hell off me, now!" Digging my knee into his sides he yelled out and dropped his hips, but continued to struggle against me.

"Listen. For fuck's sake, listen to me. I love you. The other night I was thinking about us." He continued to fight back against me. I wasn't sure how long I could stay like this for before he got me off.

"Bullshit!" He screamed in my face, just inches from mine. God, he was sexy when he was mad. I could feel myself becoming aroused.

"I'm not lying. I was thinking about our future, and what I want, us buying a home together, getting married, having children together, growing old. It's what I want. I want this with you." He suddenly stopped fighting against me and looked at me with wide shocked eyes.

"You... you mean that?" He asked, his voice full of disbelief. I nodded and let go of his wrists, taking in his shocked face.

"Every word. I want my life with you. I want to marry you. I want to have children with you, to raise a family together. I want it all, despite what people may think or say. This is what I want, Edward. I want to grow old with you and see our grandchildren come round on a Sunday morning. I want to watch our children open presents on Christmas morning. I want to share the same surname as you. I want to be yours and for you to be mine forever." My heart poured everything out to him. I was trying to repair the damage I had made earlier, but underneath all of that, I wanted him to know how much I loved him.

My heart was pounding in my chest as I sat back on on him. He hadn't moved an inch, not one single emotion had crossed his face. His eyes were wide as he stared at me, his mouth slightly open. He hadn't even blinked, it was like he was frozen in time. Had I shocked him that much that I had caused him to have some sort of episode where he couldn't move? I was aware that he was still breathing. His breath fanned my face repeatedly, so that was a good thing, at least he hadn't had a heart attack or something.

"Edward? Edward say something." My nerves kicked in as I waited for him to say something, anything. The silence was killing me, ripping me apart from the inside out. I had just poured my heart out, told him what I wanted for us, what I hoped our future would entail. This was like rejection right now.

"I... I have to go to work." He pushed me off him with ease and left the room in a hurry. My heart plummeted, it felt like it had just fallen a thousand feet from the air and smashed on a concrete floor.

For ages I just sat there in the same position he had moved me to when he pushed me off him. My mind ran over the events continuously, as though it was on a loop inside my mind. Our argument played in my mind, my words that I threw at him, telling him that I blamed him, when I didn't. Breaking it off with him when I didn't mean it. As though my mind wasn't happy with just giving me that torture, it replayed my words to him in here, the words I used to pour my heart out to him, the shock on his face. My mind replayed it all with perfect clarity.

I wasn't sure what I expected when I told him. I didn't expect him to throw his arms around me and tell me he loved me and all was forgiven, but I certainly didn't expect him to just leave without so much as commenting on what I had said. It seemed as though I hadn't said these words to him. I felt like a fool. Moving finally from my position I went into his bedside drawer and pulled out the tin he kept in there. Pulling the weed out I began to build up. It wasn't something we did or he did all the time, every now and then we would chill out and smoke.

Lighting up and inhaling deeply I sat and thought about what I thought would have happened tonight after I told him all of that, after I opened my heart and poured it all out. For me, I thought that we would at least talk about what had happened, what I said, both the good and the bad and sorted this mess out. Now it seemed as though it was worse than it was before. Why couldn't he just stay and talk to me about what I had said? Pouring your heart out like that, you just don't expect someone to to just up and leave like that and not pay any attention to what you had just said. Surely he heard me. He sure seemed liked he did. Was he having trouble processing what I had said?

Resting my head back against the pillow and inhaling deeply I allowed myself to think of what I was losing from my grasp. I had never felt so complete than I did with him, never in a million years did I think I would ever feel this love that I feel now. The kind of love that makes your whole body yearn for their touch, or just to be in the same room as them, to be filled with so much pride when you know that they're yours and no one else's. I had that with him. Not only did he make me feel things that I never knew existed to me, he made me feel complete, and it was now slipping away through my fingers.

What else could I say to him? Knowing him well enough to know that I had to leave him be I curled into a ball on his bed. I wanted to see him, and if he was any other place than the club I would go, but there was no point in heading over to the club when he wouldn't have the time to talk to me and it wasn't fair to just bring our problems to his place of work.

As the night wore on I checked my phone constantly in some hope that he would text me or call. He never did. Although neither did I, but I felt as though he should be the one to make first contact. After all he had just walked after I spilled my heart to him. Sleep soon washed over me as I laid in his bed. I hadn't moved from the room except to get a drink and my phone. I knew that me being here in his room wasn't the best place for me to stay, but I hoped that maybe he would at least speak to me when he got in.

Imagine the pain I felt when my eyes suddenly opened to the light of the morning sky shining in and realising that I was alone. My dreams had been filled with us talking during the night and sorting it out. They had seemed so real to me that I actually thought it had happened.

He had been in his room at some point during the night, his jacket lay hanging on the door to his wardrobe. Clothes had been left and a pillow taken. His bedroom door was now shut and I had left it open. He hadn't wanted to speak to me when he came home. The thought made the pain I was feeling ten times worse. Rubbing my eyes I climbed out of his warm soft bed and opened the door to the hallway. My door was open and the bed still made. Walking slowly down the stairs I pushed the living room door open to see him on the sofa flat out. My heart sank. He had chosen to sleep down here rather than next to me in his bed, or even my bed.

He was lying on his back, his PJ bottoms sitting low on his hips, his forearm resting on top of his head causing his T-shirt to ride up his stomach. He looked peaceful, but drained. Purple shadows marked the top lids of his eyes, while darker ones formed underneath his eyes. Touching his taut bicep lightly his eyes shot open. Bloodshot green eyes stared back at me. He looked a little dazed for a second, almost as though he was unsure of where was.

"Edward?" My own voice was rough and harsh as I spoke watching him rub his face with his left hand before closing his eyes again.

"What?" So little emotion came from his one single word, it was like he just didn't care or he was too tired to.

"Why are you down here?" I asked him bending my knees and getting closer to him. He shrugged at me before sighing long and low.

"You were in my bed." He replied simply at me slowly opening his eyes. "I don't know what to make of last night, Jasper. You threw all that shit at me, dumped me, and then told me you wanted a family with me. Its a contradiction, Jasper. One that I can't make sense of right now." He sat up and looked at me, the pain in his eyes screamed at me. I felt sick to the pit of stomach knowing that I caused it.

"What about us?" I asked, my voice trembling, giving away my emotions. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"I wasn't the one that dumped you. You dumped me, remember?"

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**_Okay I know I'm being really mean, but honestly hand on heart that wasn't meant to happen, I had other idea's nice things in the chapter, but Jasper had other ideas, who am I to argue? _**

**_Before you come at me because of what I have done, remember that we all do this, we all say things in a fight we don't mean, we use things to hurt the other one if we are feeling hurt by them, its a fact of life._**

**_Personally I see this as a good thing, a good blow out can really make the difference and get you to let go of your hidden issues, an arguement an be a healthy thing for a relationship._**

**_Anyway my lovelys please be kind and hit the review button, Jen x_**


	20. Chapter 20

_**AN/ Hello my lovelys did you all miss me yesterday? Hehe I leave you with a nasty little chapter and then I don't update the next day, so sorry honey's but I have been having problems with my mojo and hitting bloody wall's. It's all up there but so is a lot of other stuff, If you have been following me on Twitter you will all about my wall. **_

**_I want to say a massive thnk you to everyone, guys my story has hit over 700 reviews I'm uber proud and so buzzing right now I can't even find the words. It's my biggest reviews for a story and I'm not finished yet, here to hitting 1k!_**

**_Lately have been really good and replied to everyone that has reviewed but the last chapter I think I have replied to a handful an I'm so sorry for that, but with my wall I have been trying to over come it, please no that none of the reviews I have had I haven't taken offense too, and I love reading all of them, what everyone thinks about the boys and how you all think it's going to pan out. Jasper seemed a little bipolar in the last chapter, there was a little bit of me in there, if I have just had a bust with someone my fuse is so short and I will blow off again in seconds and become a bitch and say random shit that I don't mean. _**

**_I have rambled far to long guys and I'm sure that most of you by now have bypassed this AN and just gone to the chapter, if you read my ramble thank you._**

**_Here's chapter 20!_**

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_**EPOV**_

We had barely spoken in days since our argument, we were almost like ships passing in the night. He returned from work and I left, by the time he was leaving for work I was still in bed. The rift that had formed between the two of us was painful. I hated us not talking, I hated what had happened between the two of us, that our relationship had ended the way it had. I still loved him. Fuck, I loved him deeply. I still wanted him, craved to have his touch, to breath in his intoxicating scent, to just be with him again, but I wasn't a fool. Stupid I might be at times, but I wasn't willing to allow him back into my life like this.

The things I told him were in confidence, it was something I wanted to share with him and not have it used and thrown at me in an argument. I wasn't sure what hurt me more, whether it was him blaming me for his parents and saying I took advantage of him or him using that against me. What hurt the most was being dumped by him. I never once thought that he would actually dump me. I thought things between us were worth more than that, but they weren't, and as he had told me, I wasn't worth it to him.

How contradicting can one person be? One minute he tells me that he doesn't want to be with me, that it's my fault things are the way they are with his parents, and then he tells me he wants us to have this great future together. What am I meant to think with that? I would have given him the world if I could, given him everything his heart desires and love him until the dawn of time, but it was all ruin, crushed by his hands. He just crushed my heart as though it was nothing and to him that's all it was, nothing.

I can take that he had just had a fight with his mum and he was already fired up when he locked horns with me, that doesn't excuse his words to me, for what he took that I had told him confidence and used it against me. I don't want that sort of relationship with a man like that, where the things I told them, the fears I had, the things I had done, I didn't want them used against me in an argument. Could he really think of nothing better than that? Out of everything he could have told me in this world he chose that. He threw that at me, the one thing I had trusted him enough with and he turned it against me.

Betrayal doesn't even begin to cover what I was feeling right now. All of this, all of it just because I wouldn't bottom for him. Really, was all of this really worth that small detail? He acted as though he was so hard done too, that this isn't normal. It's perfectly normal for you not to switch, but would he understand that? No. He had to keep pushing the idea again and again. I didn't want to, there wasn't some reason for it. I had never felt comfortable enough to put myself in that situation, it's something that I never wanted to do. It's a personal choice as I told Jasper, but he still keeps pushing the subject again and again.

He was sitting across from me in the living room as the deathly silence continued between us. For days it had been this way, and for days I had found myself unable to stop my eyes from wandering to him. My eyes looked at his body, seeing his tired blue eyes that look lifeless now; watched the way he continuously pushed his blonde curls off the right side of his face only to have it fall back again some moments later, his soft red lips that felt incredible against mine. I missed him, I missed his touch, his body next to mine. I missed the intimacy between the two of us.

"I can't fucking take this any longer. God, I've said I'm sorry. I laid my fucking heart on the line and yet you still won't speak to me." He suddenly screamed at me throwing his book down on the floor and turning to look at me. "Please talk to me, Edward."

Closing my eyes I sighed. I didn't want to look at his eyes while they stared back at me, it only hurt too much. "I have nothing to say, Jasper, you said it all the other day." I replied opening my eyes and looking away from his.

"What about Paris? Were meant to fly out on Friday." I snorted at him, that was the last place on this earth I wanted to go to with him.

"What about it? I bought them for you as a gift, go and enjoy it. I'm sure you can find someone to take." My voice, my tone, everything about me was cold as I spoke to him.

"But I want you to come with me. Please Edward, I need to sort this out with you." My jaw locked as I fought back my tears, he needed to sort this out? It was almost laughable really.

"I'm not going, Jasper. I can't go with you, and I certainly can't sort this out." Standing up from the sofa I walked towards the door turning to look at him. I saw his eyes begging me, his compassion filled deep within them. "I'm sorry, Jasper. I'm sorry I cost you your parent's. I'm sorry I took advantage of you that night and I'm sorry I fell in love with you. Please just leave me be, you've hurt me enough without twisting the knife every few days."

Walking out of the living room I walked up the stairs and to my room where my heart broke all over again. I wore my heart on my sleeve, I wished I didn't, it made me an easy target to get hurt, something Jasper could do with ease. My stubborn nature was making me drag everything out, making me not sit and listen anymore to him. I found it hard to walk back after being hurt, and it was even harder now given my past.

The limited words we had stopped altogether come Thursday afternoon. Jasper had left work early as the flight we should have been getting on took off at half five in the morning. The airport had some of the stupidest times flying to Paris, it was that or half two in the afternoon. He quickly took the stairs only shooting me a quick glance as I looked over my own accounts. I wasn't about to start trying to sort it out myself, I was merely checking over my assets. Removing the glasses from my face I threw them onto the pile of books in front of me and rubbed my eyes. My heart ached knowing that unless we started talking to one another that this would really and truly be over.

But that's what I wanted, wasn't it? I wouldn't allow him back in because he took something I had told him in confidence and used it against me, so this must be what I wanted.

Sighing loudly I pulled at my hair resting my elbows against the table. That wasn't what I wanted. What I wanted was for Jasper to be mine. What I wanted was for us to sort this out and get back on track, but the pain I was in was stopping me from moving forward towards him. The risk of him throwing this sort of shit in my face again made me think twice. I could be nasty with words, I could tear someone apart with the things I said, but I had never crossed a line that brought something they told me in confidence into our argument. For me, it was a line that you just didn't cross.

It was almost like breaking trust. I guess, in a way, it was. You tell your boyfriend, girlfriend, friend, whoever something in confidence, not only do you expect that it wouldn't go around your friends, but you also expect that they wouldn't ever use it against you in an argument. Part of me could let his words go, his blame he placed on me and just wiped it off as a bad argument. I was sure there would come a time when the nasty words would be coming from my mouth, but his misguided use of my trust was something that I couldn't just push away and wipe it off.

This was someone who wanted me to bottom for them, wanted me to hand over my trust, my control, be placed in a situation that was out of my comfort zone and placed somewhere where they had me in a somewhat vulnerable position, yet they couldn't keep my secrets out of an argument. It didn't sit well with me how they could expect me to give that sort of trust over to them, that they wouldn't hurt me that way when they could use my past against me.

"Here." My thoughts were broken in two by his voice hitting my ears and a ticket hitting my account books in front of me.

Looking up I saw his overnight bag over his shoulder, his eyes stared intently at me as every emotion he had crashed through him.

"I'm still going, there's your ticket." He said, his voice cold and flat at me. My jaw clenched tightly, unsure if it was because I was angry at him for thinking I would still want the fucking ticket and that I was hurting or whether it was because I could see his own pain in his eyes.

"Please... Edward come with me, meet me there tomorrow morning. Please don't throw everything away over a silly argument that got out of hand." His voice suddenly changed and was now pleading with me. My eyes closed blocking him, this, everything, out, or at least trying to.

I felt his hand brush gently across the back of my neck, his breath hitting my scalp, sensing the tip of his nose in my hair. "I meant what I said upstairs that night about us, I love you. Please." He whispered to me. I felt his soft lips gently kiss my head before I felt the coldness hit me again and the door slamming shut.

My eyes opened with tears ready to fall at any given moment. The ticket sat there staring at me, almost as though it's flashing in neon lights at me, telling me to pick it up and go. I quickly covered the ticket muttering to myself about it being stupid and that it couldn't actually make me go. I had spent my whole time since our fight brooding over what he had said in the heat of our argument. I hadn't once thought about what he said afterwards, not really, not in any major depth.

As contradicting as he had been that night, he had let out his emotions, telling me he wanted to grow old with me, have a family with me, marry me. The words had shocked me, ripped through me like some sort of tidal wave and caused me to just stop. These were things I had wanted, things I had wanted to hopefully, if I was lucky enough to have it, with Jasper.

It was shocking to hear him say this, not only because thirty minutes before he was dumping my ass and telling me I wasn't worth it, but because for the first time I saw that Jasper had really thought about our relationship. He had gone from being so confused and unsure to suddenly telling me he wanted me for life. I had been in relationship's before with men that had been out of the closet for years and still didn't know if they could handle or wanted, whichever applied to them, having a gay marriage. To hear Jasper suddenly tell me he wanted me no matter what people said or thought did made my heart swell, just a fraction. Okay, a lot.

Jasper was always the straight guy, had a line of women queuing up for him to just go and take a ride, he only every mentioned wanting a family or marriage when Alice came along. When he announced he was getting married, as happy as I was for him I was kind of floored by his words alone. He never seemed that type, and now I certainly didn't think he could possibly want that with me, another man. Had I given any thought to any of these things myself? I would be lying if I said no. I had. Of course, I had. I was in love with him. You had these little daydreams in which you played them out in your head, you smile and think of what your children would look like, how your wedding would be and the life you would live would be like. This made the pain in my chest hurt even more as I thought of all the things I had thought about for us and the words he had used before he left.

Where did he go? Not that I should be bothered on where he decides to spend the night, but I was a little bothered. If he was planning on going to the airport tomorrow morning then where was he going now? God, I shouldn't even be bothered about his fucking whereabouts, we're not even together anymore. Groaning at that final thought as the pain nipped in my chest a little more I grabbed my jacket and keys and left the house for the club.

I wasn't even meant to be working tonight. My last night should have been last night and not back until Tuesday night. Everyone knew where I was meant to be going, they didn't know about my breakup with Jasper, although people had gathered that something had happened between us. I knew me turning up tonight would only bring about a handful of questions that I didn't want to answer.

By the time I reached the club we had already opened, it was still early in the evening as people stood and waited in the short line to get in. Nothing made me feel so much pride than seeing people queuing to get into my club. Passing Paul on the door I didn't stop for the questions that I could see already forming in his mind. I made my way through the club choosing to stay on the floor tonight instead of locking myself in the office where I would only continue to brood and mope over Jasper and the pain I was feeling. Emmett and Bella were meant to be covering my time off for me, given they were two of the most trustworthy people I knew.

Bella was already behind the bar smiling and chatting to the costumers that came up wanting drinks. She clocked me making my way to the bar slightly confused as to why I was here. She smiled as I slipped behind the bar, mentally counting down from ten for her to ask me why I was here.

"Before you ask I'm not going to answer and no, I don't want to talk about it." I cut her off before she could get the words out of her mouth. I snapped slightly at her and watched as she was slightly taken aback from it.

"Sorry, but I thought you and Jazz were jetting off to Paris tomorrow for the weekend. Didn't expect you to show up tonight, is everything alight?" She still had to ask. Why the fuck do people still ask when you say you don't want to talk about it?

"Less than a second ago I told you I didn't want to talk about and yet you still ask me." I snapped back even more than the first time.

"Well sorry for being so concerned. I know something has gone off between the two of you, so why don't you just tell me about it and stop snapping at everyone like you have been doing for the last week?" She demanded at me.

"He dumped me, are you fucking happy now?" Grabbing a bottle of beer out the fridge I disappeared from behind the bar.

Admitting that he dumped was hard to admit, even though he had tried time and time again to sort the rift between us, to amend the problem we had, but my stubborn side wouldn't allow me to move an inch. I had been hurt by him, by his words; that by me allowing him back in my life would just make it so much easier for him to do it again and again, to be ridiculed by him for my past mistakes. You opened up yourself in a relationship and trusted that person with your secrets and not to be ridiculed for them.

As I reached my office I heard Emmett calling me from behind. Oh, fucking joy. Bella had gone and told him and now he was here. I didn't want to discus my problems with him, and if this was about me snapping at Bella I wasn't in the mood for him to act all protective at me because I might have upset her.

"Leave it, Em." I called back as I opened my office door and headed in, just about to close the door behind me, but Emmett's large frame blocked the door from closing. I groaned outwardly and walked to my desk necking back my beer.

"Right dude, you and Jazz. He dumped you why?" He asked sitting down across from me, my mind filled with thoughts of what Jasper and I had got up to on the desk some weeks ago.

"I don't want to talk about it, but yeah, he dumped me." I grumbled out and folded my arms over my chest.

"So you're doing what about it?" I shrugged my shoulders at him. "And Paris, this weekend, you know that plane you booked to woo Jasper for a weekend of loving?" Mocking a laugh at him I necked the remainder of my beer.

"I'm doing nothing about it because I won't be ridiculed, and as for Paris, I'm not going, but Jasper is. Does that answer all your questions or do you have more?" Emmett snickered at me almost in a smirk.

"Edward, you know Jazz has a small problem when it comes to what should come out of his mouth and what shouldn't in an argument; but if he is going to Paris I'm willing to bet my next wage packet that he is hoping you're going to turn up? Am I right?" I bit my lip to stop myself from letting myself become an emotional wreck all over again.

"I love him, Em, but everything, and I mean everything, between is so fucked up. I don't even know if this could be fixed. I know that Jazz has this inability to shut up when he is angry, but it was something he said, something I told him that he used against me, I just can't let it go." Emmett sighed and leant back in the chair.

"Dude, I have known the pair of you since we were little kiddies, before you decided you liked cock and Jazz tried to collect enough thongs to open his own thong shop. I have seen you two throw some shit at each other in the past, seen you come to blows, and seen you both kiss and make up countless times. Just because you two are now lovers and it hurts that little more than before, really what is so different from the all the other shit he has said to you or you have said to him?" I sulked a little more feeling as though I was being told off.

"Ed, your problem is, always has been and always will be is the fact that you're too stubborn. You're digging your heels in just like always and sulking, punishing Jasper because he has hurt you, just like you do with everyone else, but you're punishing yourself also by letting this carry on. He wants you to go with him, don't let him go alone. Suck it up and go and talk to him." Rolling my eyes at him I sighed loudly.

"Em, you know nothing." I defended to him even though he knew everything already, he didn't need the ins and outs of it all. He had known both of us long enough to know how we both worked.

"I know the pair of you, Edward. I get he said something that he shouldn't have, but I know it would have taken him a lot to come and say sorry to you. Meet him, Edward. Go with him and sort it out, together." He grinned at me. "And get out of the club." He stood and walked to the door before stopping and looking at me.

"Don't be stupid here, Edward. You both want each other, everyone can see that when you're together." With his parting words the door closed behind him.

As Emmett left the office I thought back to Jasper's words again, his declaration of love to me, the way his eyes looked at mine, nothing was held back in them, everything was all there in his eyes. I thought to this afternoon, how he pleaded with me to come to Paris with him, the way I could feel his breath on my hair, the soft kiss he gave me before he left, the warmth of his touch that lingered on my skin for hours after the event itself. God, I missed him. I sighed feeling rotten inside myself.

Emmett was right, I was being stubborn and digging my heels in. We hadn't actually talked about why I wouldn't bottom, other than I didn't want to. I had just shot him down time and time again, which normally ended in us fighting over it. I should talk to him about it, really talk to him, not just brush it off as I had been doing.

Leaving the club I headed home to the now empty house with no idea of where Jasper was tonight, it was now pushing almost two in the morning. Maybe he thought him not being here tonight would make it better, maybe he was already thinking that I wasn't going to show up and he used this time to get used to the fact that he would be going alone. My mind was still split in two over whether or not I was going to go. Part of me wanted to go, I had booked the flight there wanting us to spend time together, alone. I wanted to just be away with him, him and me and no one else; no work, no phone calls, no having to go over anything before Monday, just a few days together alone.

Could I just let it go and move forward from this? Looking at the clock on the wall I knew if I was going to go now would be a good time to actually get my things together and leave. Drumming my fingers I tried to weigh up if going would be a good thing or not, if letting everything go and trying to sort this out was the right thing to do. The thought of him going on his own ate at me, it swarmed around and around inside of me driving me slowly insane. My past was effecting my future. Tyler had hurt me and yet I got sucked back in because I loved him only to end up in a worst state for it. The fear of that, the fear of sorting this out and trying again only to come out of this worse hung over my head like a giant blade.

Not that I thought Jasper would ever do anything remotely like what Tyler did, but it ran along the same lines. Jasper hurt me by bringing up my past and using it against me, if I let it go this time and pushed it away out of my mind there was no saying that he wouldn't go there again and maybe next time it could be a lot more than just that one thing. I didn't want to be in a relationship where I felt I couldn't release my fears or secrets to that person for fear of it being used against me. I didn't want to keep secrets from my lover, I didn't believe they did the relationship much good.

But I knew Jasper, and I knew that he could be a cunt at times. His mouth had its own mind when he was arguing with someone and wouldn't think twice about letting something out. I also knew that Jasper hardly ever meant what he said, a sharp tongue, but was quick to say his sorries and move on past it. Jasper knew me better than most as I did him, out of all of us he and I had always been closer than the rest. There wasn't some deep hidden thing between us, well at least I didn't think there was, but we just always had a connection with one another. Every experience I ever had Jasper was the first person I told and vice visa. He came to me about the idea of us all living together, before going to anyone else, and even though we had had many bust ups in the past we had always come through it together and been closer for it.

Deciding that I needed to see him and sort this mess out I dashed up the stairs and began throwing clothes into my overnight bag along with my toiletries. Time was not on my side as I pulled apart my chest of drawers trying to find my passport. It's never where you thought it was or the last place you're sure you saw it. After leaving my room looking like a bomb had hit it I finally found it. A quick glance at the clock and a phone call later I was pacing the hallway waiting for the taxi to arrive.

The airport itself was only some thirty minutes away, twenty if he floored it there. The flight was due to leave in an hour's time. I would be cutting it fine, very fine. I wish I had decided I was going to go sooner instead of leaving it to the last minute. I wish I had stopped being so stubborn days ago and sorted this then and then I wouldn't be waiting for a taxi right now looking at my watch every two seconds checking the time.

The taxi finally arrived and I was out the door like a bullet from a gun, telling the taxi driver I would pay him double if he got me to the airport in record time. I hadn't slept at all, but my body was wired up, relishing in seeing him, sorting this out and most importantly getting to the bloody airport before the plane took off.

What if I missed the flight? Would he still get on like he said he would? Would it then be worth me trying to get another flight out there? Would he want to see me if I missed this flight? My heart was beating wildly in my chest as I cursed myself for waiting too long, for holding back and standing my ground when I should have been talking to him and sorting this out. He had been right, this fallout was over something stupid. It had been blown out and created into something larger than it should have been.

Jasper was still pissed from his argument with his mum when we locked horns, that hadn't helped the situation at all. Maybe if he had never have gotten into the fight with his mother we wouldn't have blown out at one another the way we did. It didn't matter now as the lights of the airport came into view. I wanted the taxi driver to floor it even more to get there quicker than he was doing, I was running out of time.

Throwing money at the taxi driver I got out of the car and ran through the airport towards check in. They were already calling passengers for the flight as I reached the desk, handing over my passport and ticket to the nice smiling lady with bright red lipstick. My heart was going ten to two as I waited.

"You're cutting it a bit fine, aren't you?" She purred at me with seductive eyes. I rolled my eyes slightly at her, I didn't have time for chitchat.

"Yeah." Was my reply as I drummed my fingers against the counter. "Have I made the flight?"

She licked her bright red lips at me. I was sure if I had been straight I would have found that a turn on. "Just carry on, is it?" She asked as her eyes ran over me.

"Yes." She looked at the ticket in her hands and smiled. I smiled back just out of politeness more so than anything else.

"A break in Paris over Valentine's. Is it work related?" She purred at me. "Sorry, I shouldn't have asked that." No, you fucking shouldn't have. Handing me my boarding pass she smiled. "You'll just make the gate, have a nice time."

Taking the pass off her I grinned widely at her. "I intend to." I headed towards the gate in a run as the flight was calling for the last passengers to board.

Jasper was nowhere in sight. I wondered if he was on the plane or if he didn't even bother showing at all? Oh god, what if he wasn't even here? What if he decided that he didn't want to come after all? I should have called him. I should have at least texted him and let him know I was coming. My eyes scanned the waiting area looking for his mass of blonde curls but came across nothing. Handing over my boarding pass to the flight attendant I entered the plane.

Sucking in a deep breath I slowly began to turn the corner from the exit towards first class, something inside me told me he wasn't on the plane. I had waited too long, I had kept him away longer than I should have, I missed my chance. My heart plummeted as I became too scared to look up from the floor, the fear of not seeing him there, and confirming what I already knew was too much to take. I should have been walking on this plane with Jasper by my side ready to spend the weekend together instead of stepping on it on my own and spending the weekend by myself. I wasn't going to stay, I would be on the next flight out of there and back home. If he wasn't there with me then what was the point in me being there?

A gasp came from one of the passengers in front of me, my eyes looked up and were met with two tired blue orbs.

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**_AN/ He went! Who is happy? Edward has a lot of traits in this chapter that I have when I'm on the end of someone mouth, I sulk and brood over it before someone slaps me out of it. _**

**_So was the gasp Jasper? Will Jasper be happy to see Edward? Will they kiss and make up? Send me loads of reviews and love and it may just help me with my wall. Jen x_**


	21. Chapter 21

_**AN/ Hello my lovelys, thank you to everyone that reviewed the last chapter, I suck at trying to reply right now my head is all over the place, sorry to everyone who reviewed and didn't get reply I'm not being rude I'm just trying to write an over come my wall right now.**_

**_I almost held this chapter back for another 24 hours as the last chapter got so little reviews, the worst out of the whole story so far so I was going to hold off as it's slightly dishearting, but hey ho. (Yes I am feeling sorry for myself this morning and unloved). _**

**_I'm pretty sure that everyone is reading it but if your not hen go chack out Project Seduce Mr Whitlock by rmhale, awesome little story._**

**_Here's chapter 21!_**

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_**JPOV**_

My eyes were closed as I sat on the tarmac waiting to take off for Paris, they were already beginning to sting at the thought that the doors would be closing in a few moments time and he wasn't on the plane. I had waited until the last minute to board hoping that he would turn up and come with me. I couldn't blame him if he didn't turn up after everything I said to him, who could blame him?

I knew better than to start throwing shit at him like that. Edward was a softy at heart and was easily hurt by words, even more so if they were things he had told you. I regretted saying those things to him, regretted telling him that this was all his fault and that I didn't want him. Of course I wanted him. I had given so much to be with him, changed everything around me with personal cost to myself, just so he and I could be with one another. I hated myself for what I said to him, for what I brought to the argument. I hated everything that was happening between us, hated not talking to one another, hated being apart. I missed everything already, his smile, the way he looked at me when we snuggled together, the love he gave me when I wanted a cuddle after a shit day at work, his scent, the warmth that radiated from him when he held me close to him. Those things played in my head, and had every day we had been apart.

I regretted everything I said to him, even the good stuff. It wasn't regret that I told him what I wanted for us, for our future, it was in the manner in which I told him. He struggled to break free from me as I pinned him down on the bed, that shouldn't have been the way I told him I wanted him for life. It made it seem like I was just saying it because we had fallen out, which wasn't the case. I would have still said those things even if we hadn't fallen out, I just would have gone a different way about it that's all.

Allowing myself to open my eyes knowing the plane was about to take off I saw him, or what I thought was him. His messy hair of coppery bronze was pulled in all directions, his head was down as he boarded the plane. He hadn't seen me, I didn't think. I gasped unable to stop myself as the shock that he came crashed and washed over me. His head shot up and I saw his pained green eyes looking back at me. I smiled at him rather weakly, but fucking buzzing on the inside that he was here, on the plane, with me.

He reached our seats and placed his carry on in the compartment above us. He smiled slightly as I held my hand out to him aware of people looking at him, at me, at us. He took my hand and smiled as his lips trembled. The warm tingly feeling ran up my arm and through my body. God, how much I had missed that feeling.

"You came." I whispered out, my voice thick with emotion as I battled to keep it under control. He nodded his head and let go of my hand and fastened himself in. I watched as his eyes closed for a second and he breathed in deeply. When his eyes opened and he looked at me the deep green smouldering of his eyes hit me full force, so much love and hope was carried in them. His hand cupped the side of my face as his thumb gently rubbed my cheek, pulling me closer to him as our lips met.

My lips became on fire as his soft plump lips moved against mine gently. Pulling back slightly his forehead rested against mine. My hand overlapped his as we stayed locked together for what seemed to be forever, almost as though we were talking to one another in our minds. Feeling the plane jet down down the runway and take off into the air my stomach did back flips until we levelled out, I had always hated take off for that. His warm breath fanned my face again and again. His eyes closed again and I felt him relax, his whole body softened as though he just wound the spring that was tightly knitted together inside of him.

"I'm sorry, Jazz." He whispered at me his eyes still closed. "I love you." His eyes opened and he looked at me, how I had missed those eyes. Slowly pulling apart from one another I laced my fingers through his and gently squeezed his hand.

"I should never have said those things." He shook his head at me as I spoke making me stop what I was saying. I had so much I wanted to get out, so much I needed to tell him.

"Not here, baby. Wait till we're alone for us to talk." He smiled warmly at me and I saw how tired he looked.

I felt all warm and fuzzy inside when he called me baby. I missed his names for me, and even though I hated it, I missed him calling me bunny. I rested my head against his shoulder as his cheek touched the top of my head. He kissed it and I heard him sigh relaxing even more onto me. I wondered if he slept last night, he looked like he hadn't, then again I didn't much sleep last night, or the night before that. In fact, I hadn't had a good night's sleep in a while. I had been too worked up, too worried to sleep and above all else I missed being in his arms while I slept, I missed my home.

Edward's breathing evened out and became shallow, a soft snore left his lips. I smiled inwardly knowing he was so relaxed and sleeping peacefully with his cheek resting against my head. I felt so complete, like everything in my life had its place again. He was the one thing that kept everything together, the missing piece of me was now back and brought everything back together in its place.

How strange it was to me that Edward was to be the one missing piece from my life that I never knew was missing. All the times we had known one another, been friends, seen the other have different boyfriends or girlfriends and all this time what I missing from my life was him. He had been right there in front of me for years, just as I had him, and we never gave the other a second look. I still wonder if that night I came on to Edward was because of some deep rooted thing inside my brain that always knew it was him I needed and not some chick. Whatever it was I was glad I had come on to him that night, glad he came into my life as my lover and not just my friend.

As the plane began to descend down towards Paris I smiled lifting my head off his shoulder and waking him gently from his slumber. His eyes opened slowly blinking a few times. He smiled half asleep at me as I leant forward and kissed his lips gently.

"We're about to land." He nodded his head at me and sat up straight in the seat. As the plane began to descend toward the airport my stomach knotted, it was so easy to think that everything was okay between us now, that it was all forgotten about, but I knew differently. Deep down I knew that this weekend would make or break the relationship we shared.

We had to talk, that was clear as day, we couldn't continue on the path we were at. Even though we had talked about our issues and such and began to trust each other in that way, we still had one big issue that I guess we needed to sort out. Edward not wanting to bottom. I can understand and accept that it's his choice, and I was not asking him to do it all the time, but once. Just once is all I wanted from him. I wanted to know why he wouldn't bottom for me, a real reason other than he doesn't want to. Give me that and I can let it drop and move forward from all of this. I didn't think I was being unreasonable by wanting to know this.

I didn't want a bust up like we had had, as much as I know that relationships still go on even after fighting. It happens to everyone in every relationship, but it was the sheer tone of the argument that scared me. I didn't want to ever sit there and throw all of what he had told me in his face, although I couldn't ever guarantee that I wouldn't become nasty when we fought, it is after all how I am, but I never want to go that far again.

Edward hardly muttered a word to me as we left the airport and made our way across the city towards the hotel. My face was plastered against the window looking at the sites as we passed. I had never been here before, and I suddenly felt as though I was a child on a school trip. The taxi came to stop outside of the hotel, my mouth hung open as I took in the sight of it. The hotel was grand and beautiful, with highly polished floors and shiny doorknobs.

Checking in my eyes scanned around the hotel, it was stunning and I wondered just how much it had cost him. This wasn't some run of the mill hotel, this was your top of the range hotel that stars stayed at. My excitement got the better of me as I walked towards the lifts grinning like an idiot, my body was shaking with excitement as we waited for the lift doors to open.

"Fuck a bus, this place is awesome." I muttered to Edward as we entered the lift. There was a lift boy waiting for us to tell him our floor. A fucking lift boy? Jesus, how much did this set him back?

"Glad you like it." His tone was flat and defeated and I wished we were here on different terms, wished we had arrived as lovers in love and not lovers who were on the brink of everything going tits up.

"I love it." I smiled at him widely hoping that we would be leaving here as lovers in love, that we could sit and talk and sort it out and then be able to enjoy the weekend we have here.

Stepping out of the lifts we walked towards our room. My eyes wandered around the hallways taking in the hotel, wanting to embed it into my mind forevermore. Edward opened the door to our room and it took my breath away. The room had its own living room complete with mini bar and snacks, a plasma on the wall hooked up to sky, there were two large frosted glass doors over to the right which led to the bedroom.

The bedroom itself had a large queens size bed, with great big massive fluffy pillows. It looked as though you could lie there all day and night and never want to move from it. The colours were a mixture of browns, oranges and reds, giving the room a wonderful warm feeling. I smiled and turned round expecting to see Edward behind me, but he wasn't there. Leaving the bedroom I saw him sitting on one of the chairs in the living room, his face in his hands.

Of course we needed to talk and sort this out and I guess I should have thought about that before I went looking around the room like a little girl, but I couldn't help myself. Sighing to myself I made my way towards him and touched his shoulder. His hands came away from his face, he looked hurt and drained as he looked at me. I smiled at him and bent down onto my knees.

"Edward, I'm...." His hand came up silencing me from talking anymore. He took a deep breath and stood going over towards the mini bar and pulling out a bottle of wine, it was fucking early in the morning, way too fucking early for a drink. He walked back to me with two glasses and placed one in my hand while he poured me a glass.

"I know it's early, but fuck it, I've not slept unless you count the catnap on the plane." He took a sip of wine and sat down looking at me. "Jazz, I don't want to be in a relationship where I feel I can't share my secrets with you. I don't want to feel as though things I tell you will be thrown in my face. Jazz, that hurt. It hurt a fucking lot. I told that in confidence and for it not to be used against me. I don't want my trust broken like this. If I can't trust you, I can't be with you." He whispered the last part out and my stomach twisted a little tighter.

"I'll never use anything like that again against you. I'm ashamed of that, I truly am. I wouldn't like it if you did something like that against me, I would hate you for it. I'm so sorry Edward for everything that I said, for blaming you, for telling you that you took advantage of me when you didn't. I'm sorry for it all. I'm not sorry for telling you how I feel, which I meant, Edward, every word of it." I touched the back of his hand as he lifted his fingers up and laced them together.

"Come with me." He stood up from the chair still holding my hand walking with me towards the bedroom. Kicking his shoes off he placed his glass on the side and laid down patting the side next to him. "Jazz, I'm fucking scared that if I let you in again you'll just end up hurting me again, but with that being said I turned up today because the thought of you coming here ripped me apart. I've missed you these last few days, missed our talks, our touches, missed you in general." I rolled onto my stomach so I could look at his slightly raised form, his head was just slightly up past the pillows.

"I won't. I'm not him, Edward. I don't lead a secret life you know nothing of. I won't ever bring up your past or your secrets again, I promise you that." He smiled softly at me. "I'm glad you came. I thought you weren't going to." He chuckled at me and touched my hair, playing with a strand of my hair in between his fingers.

"You're not and I have to remember that. I almost didn't come. I nearly missed the flight and I had some check-in girl flirt with me." He grinned at me while I frowned. "I only had you on my mind, I was worried that you weren't going to be on the plane, that I had waited too long." I smiled at him hearing him being worried that I wasn't going to be there.

"I told you I would be." Moving myself slightly up I kissed his lips with mine feeling the love I had for him come rushing through me and out my lips into the kiss. He smiled against my lips pulling back and looking at me, his fingers ran from my forehead down the side of my face to my chin.

"Yeah, you did say." He released his hold on me and took his wine glass off the side taking a sip. "Jazz, the whole me bottoming thing, we need to talk about it. I don't want to keep having the same talk over and over again, it's not healthy for us." He ran his long fingers through his bronzed locks sighing.

"I'm scared of it, Jazz, not just the act itself, the pain of it, it's handing over that control, being completely at your mercy. I know a few tops who have bottomed before and they don't have great recommendations for it. They all said it was the worst thing they ever did, the prep was crap and it hurt like hell, even one had to have stitches because of it. Handing over that control, that sort of trust that you're going to make sure that it will be as painless as possible is hard for me to do. It's my final layer of protection around me, a way to keep myself from being fully open so I don't get torn apart with a breakup. I trust you, Jazz, but I'm scared." His insecurities were finally out in front of me. Watching him tell me his fears about it he already looked scared, his body had tensed up already as his lips trembled slightly.

"Edward, why didn't you just say? Yes, I want you to bottom for me, but that's because I want every part of you as you have every part of me. Edward, if I had been sober the first time I don't think I could have gone through with it. The second time was bad enough being sober, but you made sure that you didn't hurt me. I don't think about it now, the thought of the pain never enters my head because I know you will be gentle with me, and as weird as this may sound I actually love the pain. It's not a painful pain, it's..... I don't know, a nice pain, it only lasts a few seconds and it's gone. I wouldn't trade in that pain now for anything, it lets me know that I have you." Taking a sip of my wine I looked at him. He smiled softly at me and touched my face again, my head turned and kissed the palm of his hand.

"Maybe one day, I don't know, but now you know why can it be left alone for good?" Jesus, why didn't he just say he was scared of me hurting him? This could have saved so many arguments and stopped this big fall out.

"Promise. I won't bring it up, but Edward, fuck, tell me next time, don't hide this shit from me. We're in this together, that means us telling each other things like this. I would tell you and I will never use this or your past or anything else against you. I took out my fight with my mum on you, said things I didn't mean in the heat of the moment. The worst thing I said other than your past was telling you I didn't want you, hearing you cry downstairs after it knowing I had hurt you so bad. I was a cunt and I thought you were going to hit me. You should have, I would have done." He chuckled at me and playfully hit my jaw with his fist softly.

"There." He laughed again and kissed me. "I thought about it. I don't know how I actually didn't when you pinned me down on the bed. I really was going to kick your ass if I broke free." I took a large gulp of my wine chuckling into the glass as I did.

"Fuck, I don't know how I kept you pinned for so long, but fuck you were so unbelievably sexy on that bed, it turned me on something awful." He slid down the bed and turned onto his side looking at me.

"I know it did, you grinding your ass over my cock wasn't helping, you know?" He smiled slightly and then frowned. "What you said about us, the future, did you mean it? I mean really mean it, Jazz, not just said it to calm me down." Resting my now empty wine glass on the bedside table I looked at him.

"Every word. Edward, I want children, lots of them. I also want to get married. I want a family home. I want to see my days out with the man I love. I meant those things, all of them." He bit his bottom lip and looked at me with questioning eyes, almost as if he was trying to read my mind to see if I was telling him the truth.

"You want to marry me then? Have children with me and grow old together?" He raised his eyebrows at me with a little smile playing on his lips.

"Fuck yes, I do, if you want me. It's me and you babe, us together as a whole. I feel closer to you now than I ever have been. The fight we had, as bad as it was, has brought us closer together I think." He bit his bottom lip as his eyes narrowed at me, he was thinking of something.

"It has, so are you asking?" He smirked at me as his eyes danced, they looked bright and happy, the pain was gone from them.

"Are you saying yes?" My heart rate picked up and a fluttery feeling crept into my stomach as I waited to see what his reply would be.

"If you're asking, then I'm answering with a yes." He grinned at me and suddenly I felt as though I was going to go off bang at any given moment.

"We're on the right path I think, finally. We still have a way to go, but yeah I guess I am asking, so how about it then?" I watched as he sighed and looked down shaking his head slightly, panic ripped through me. "There is no rush, I'm not saying we do it tomorrow or even this year, maybe next, but...." I stopped hearing him laugh.

"I'm playing with you, baby, but a long engagement sounds good to me." I slapped his arm playfully before climbing on top of him kissing his lips and working my way down his neck feeling him growing hard under me.

"Can we make up now? I would like to make love to my fiancée." He thrust his hips upwards digging his hard on into my ass. "I take that as a yes then." He nodded pulling me by the shirt down to his eagerly awaiting mouth.

His hand came up my shirt lifting it up as he went. Our lips broke apart so my T-shirt could come over my head. His fingers moved across every muscle, every inch of my exposed skin before they found themselves at my nipples. One hand played and pulled my nipple between his thumb and forefinger while the other pulled at my nipple ring. I shuddered as a wave of pleasure ripped through me, a growl left my chest as I rocked my hips against his throbbing cock.

"I love your fucking growl." He pulled again on my nipple ring making me growl again deep from within my chest. Flipping us over my hands tugged at the button on his jeans and pulled at the zipper, my hand slid down the waistband of his boxers gripping hold of his hot hard cock which was dripping with pre-cum. Pumping him slowly hearing his moans and murmurs of love I relished in the feel of his cock in my hand. The soft smooth skin covering his long thick cock, my fingers ran over his tight skin feeling every inch of him and finding his sensitive spots.

His hands found themselves pushing down my jeans and boxers and grabbing hold of my ass almost painfully hard, I moaned as his nails dug into my skin. Our lips crashed hard against each other's, our tongues battled and danced against each other's, feeling each other, tasting one another as though it was the first time we had ever kissed. Releasing his twitching cock from my hand I pulled back and rolled off the bed, he whimpered at the loss of contact and looked at me confused.

Licking my lips and smirking I reached into my overnight bag at the end of the bed and pulled out a bottle of lube and a packet of condoms. "We may need these." His eyes were already a dark shade of green, full of lust, the remainder of his clothes had been thrown across the room and left wherever they landed. Shedding mine I crawled to my gorgeous bronze-haired lover. A smile crept across my face, we were engaged, he wasn't just my gorgeous lover, but he was now my fucking sexy fiancée.

"Get on all fours, baby. I'm going to fuck you into oblivion." His husky voice growled at me which went to my cock, making it even harder than it already was.

Climbing onto all fours my body shivered, full of anticipation, hearing the lid on the lube click open. I moaned and tried not to tense up as I felt him push two fingers into me. I was eager to feel him in me again as he started to thrust his fingers in and out of me. He kissed and bit my ass cheek making me scream in fucking delight as his fingers scissored me before adding a third finger. Unable to stop myself, I moaned loudly and pushed myself back against him.

"Please baby, I need you, fuck me now." I growled out making him chuckle at me. Feeling his fingers disappear from my ass I moaned and whimpered at the loss of contact. I was already close to exploding and was desperate to feel him in me now.

Turning my head over my shoulder I watched him roll the condom over his cock. I moaned at the sheer amazing sight of him, his beautiful fucking cock throbbing as he coated himself with lube, throbbing for me.

He kissed me softly on the lips so full of love and passion before he moved and placed himself at my entrance, slowly he pushed into me. I moaned slightly in pain as I felt the burn of him pushing my muscles. Fuck, I had grown to love that fucking feeling, he stopped and waited for me to get used to him.

"Don't... please, I want all of you in me now." I demanded looking over my shoulder at him. His teeth were biting his bottom lip, restraining himself from forcing into me, we needed each other just as bad as the other.

Complying to my demand he forced himself all the way, not stopping until he was all the way inside me. I moaned loudly, a moan that rattled deep in my chest feeling him in me. Desperate to have him fucking me I pushed back against him letting him know I was alright. Feeling him pull almost all the way out of me before slamming hard back into me I screamed out in delight. He continued to slam into me harder and faster moaning softly with each thrust and breathing hard. His fingers gripped onto my hips pulling back to meet his hard thrusts. I was losing myself completely in pleasure.

"Mine." I heard him whisper out to me as he pounded into me, hitting my sweet spot and setting a fire that ripped through me. My arms gave out and my chest hit the bed as my body struggled to take the pleasure he was giving me. The new angle made things even better, letting him go deeper into me as he thrust away. I could feel my balls begin to tighten and the feeling build up in my stomach as he fucked me closer to oblivion.

"Yours." I whispered back gaining a louder moan in response from him. Fisting the sheets that I thought I might tear if this kept up I reached down to my weeping cock that was throbbing and twitching with need. I moaned loudly as I touched myself feeling him hit my spot with every thrust. Stroking myself I matched his thrusts as my orgasm neared closer.

"Fuck!" Edward suddenly screamed loudly as I felt his body tremble as he came.

"Babe!" I cried out as I came moments after him, covering my hand and the bed in cum. His lips touched the base of my back kissing me softly against my wet sweaty skin. "I love you." I breathed out trying to catch my breath.

"Love you too." He whispered back before pulling out of me. I whimpered feeling him leave me dropping my knees onto the bed. My eyes closed as my body tried to recover from the powerful orgasm that had ripped through me. He had fucked me into oblivion alright. I was that fucked I doubted I could fucking stand right now.

Feeling the warm washcloth touch my skin I smiled and looked at him. He looked like he was almost glowing in the sunlight that shone through the window. Fucking beautiful and fucking all mine.

I watched him disappear into the bathroom that I sill hadn't looked at yet and return with hooded love-filled eyes. My eyes scanned over his body watching his muscles flex as he walked toward me. Crawling on the bed his lips met mine before he climbed under the covers.

"I need to sleep, baby." He murmured at me. It was still early here and we could easily get a few hours sleep before heading out and enjoying the rest of the day. I rolled off the bed and grabbed my phone from my pocket setting an alarm for a few hours time before getting in next to him and cuddling up in his arms.

"Are we going to join our names or take one of ours." I asked looking at him. His eyes were already closed as he smiled pulling me closer to him.

"I'm taking yours." He whispered in my ear making my heart swell and almost explode in my chest with love for him. "I think Edward Hale has a nice ring to it." He kissed me again on my lips and opened his eyes to look at me.

"Fuck yes, it does." He smiled as his eyes closed unable to keep them open any longer. "Go to sleep, babe." I murmured at him feeling his arms tighten around me, holding me closer to him.

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**_So no mile hight club, although I have been asked for it more then once. If I get plenty of reviews before their return home I may just write it in there._**

**_Keeping with this train of thought do you think I will get more reviews if I offered a teaser for.....Um It's Fate? (started writing the next chapter 3k so far) It seems to work for others. I'm joking........well maybe, I don't know. _**

**_Even though I'm really crap replying to everyone and there are way better stories going, could you all take a minute out of your busy days to send this unhappy girl some love? (Pity town just by pass this)_**

**_Thank you Jen x_**


	22. Chapter 22

**_AN/ Oh my god guy, you fucking rock! You all certainly took me out of my own little pity party yesterday. 70 Reviews just for that chapter alone, your all awesome and I can't thank you enough, honesty I don't even know where to begin to say thank you, I promised a teaser for It's Fate and true to my word you shall have one._**

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**_It's Fate -Teaser! _**

**_JPOV!_**

_Kissing his forehead gently he stirred and murmured but didn't wake, I slide out of the soft warm bed letting my feet hit the cold wooden floor. I set about collecting my clothes that were stattered all over the floor, pulling my jeans up I crept out of his room and headed towards the kitchen. Buster and Tara were curled up together a sleep in their dog bed, they looked really cute with one another, they both lifted their heads up and looked at me, I smiled and continued on my path towards the kitchen, hearing the faint patter of paws on the wooden floor. _

_"Okay then guys were are your chews kept?" I asked them, mentally slapping myself. For some reason I actually thought they would tell me or at least show me, instead all I got was a few barks and tails wagging. _

_"Shh guys you'll wake Edward." Finding a packet of chews finally, I handed them one each before flicking on the kettle and getting the coffee ready. _

_Pulling out my phone I checked the list off messages, two from James asking where I was and what I was doing, would the reply being fucked over a work unit in Edwards barber shop warrant a good enough reply? The thought made me chuckle, he would be there today cutting hair staring at the until in which he fucked me on. Four were from Aro with his latest idea for the website, the thought made my skin crawl. He wanted me to go to the venue and take snap shots one night, how pervy will that make me feel? Pushing the thought aside for now figuring I'll deal with it later I looked at the last set of messages. All of them from Tanya having a go at me for one thing or another, I inwardly groaned at the thought of having to speak to her again. _

_As if the bitch had some implant built in her telling her I was up my phone kicked into life, her name flashing at me as though it was great big neon sign signally death. I had seen death, I had been in some of the most horrid, horrendous places on this earth, been shot at and been shot, but none of them scared me as much as this bitch did. _

_"Tanya" I dribbled out, trying to tell her now was not a good time. _

_"Nice of you to answer your phone Jasper, you know why I'm calling don't you?" She asked _

_"I have an idea, look Tanya now is not the time for this, I'm a little busy." She snorted down the phone at me pushing my short fuse. _

_"Not the time? This is just you all over isn't it? Everything is more important then her isn't it?" My fuse just snapped_

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**_EPOV_**

Light feathery kisses covered my face and neck bringing me slowly out of my sleep. His soft plump lips moved swiftly over my face and down my neck leaving trails of hot fire burning my skin, the fire was welcomed knowing it was my bunny showering me in love.

Opening my eyes I saw his golden locks hanging down over his face before he looked at me, his soft light blue eyes burned with love that ran so deeply in them. His eyes smiled brightly at me before his lips captured mine in a soft feverish kiss.

"Morning, babe." He whispered against my mouth, I sighed in content pulling him closer to me in a tight hug.

"Good morning, what time is it?" I groaned out, my body aching for more sleep Although the thought of having a day in bed fucking was a nice one, I would happily forgo sleep for it.

"Almost eleven, shall we go and see the sights?" He grinned widely at me. "Maybe go and have some French bread and brie. Oo, I hear bacon and brie is meant to be nice." I chuckled at him watching his face get highly excited over food.

"You hungry, baby?" He nodded his head. "Thought so. I'll go take a quick shower and we'll set out and get you some food." Giving him a gentle kiss I watched as he bit his lip weighing up what he wanted to ask, the constant pulling on his lip was a clear sign that he had something to say or ask.

"What is it?" I asked him. He shook his head and played with a strand of hair. "Spit it out, Jazz" He leant back on his hands his legs hanging off the end of the bed.

"Do you want a ring? An engagement ring, I mean." Aw, my sweet little bunny, how cute was he right now?

He had come so far in such a short space of time, the afraid Jasper had since disappeared leaving him completely sure of what he wanted. He amazed me, he truly did. He was so beautiful and sure of what he wanted now even though he was a little far-fetched at times and had a sharp tongue I wouldn't trade him for the world.

"Only if you have one. I think that's a fair deal, don't you?" He grinned widely at me, his little dimples digging into his cheeks as he grinned. He took my breath away time and time again.

"Fuck yes, I do. Can we go shopping for one?"

Chuckling I answered him with a simple kiss followed by my words "Fuck yes," being whispered in his ear causing him to shiver as my breath touched his skin.

Seeing him grin at me so full of love I wondered how I had become lucky enough to have him? How we had actually come together after years of friendship, years of knowing one another to suddenly this? To suddenly having him as my lover instead of just my friend, it seemed so surreal, so untrue that he could actually want me and love me.

The smile wouldn't leave my face as I took a shower. He had asked me to marry him in the most informal, but most perfect way. Amazing thoughts of being married to Jasper for the rest of my life ripped through my mind causing me to giggle like a school girl. That was something I always wanted, I just never envisioned that it would have been Jasper to ask me and not the other way around.

"Fuck." The word came out, rolling off my tongue in a whisper that was carried around the room.

He asked me? The straight guy turned gay just to be with me, changed their whole outlook on life, had been confused to the point of going out of their mind actually asked me to marry them. Fuck, I didn't see that one coming, not that I minded, spending my life with Jasper, the sheer thought of it filled me with complete and utter happiness.

Coming out of the shower Jasper was laying on the bed flicking through the channels, he looked exquisite, a perfect picture of beauty. His blonde locks fell onto his face that made him flick his head to throw it off his face, his luscious red lips were slightly parted, his face was pure and stunning, perfection at its finest, everything was in such proportion, breathtakingly beautiful.

"All the channels are in French, there is about three that aren't." He grumbled throwing the remote on the bed.

"Je t'aime mon beau lapin." I whispered in his ear, he chuckled and looked at me. "Vos cheveux sont comme le lever du soleil, vos yeux sont comme la mer, si riches, si beaux." Jasper blushed slightly, his cheeks turning a slightly pink colour looking as though he had just been fucked.

"What did you just say?" I grinned loving that Jasper had no idea what I was on about. "Were you talking dirty? And when did you learn French?" His eyes questioned me, beautiful blue eyes wondering, questioning, searching my face for answers.

"No, that wasn't dirty, but this is." Moving my lips to his ear I whispered "Je veux au va te faire foutre insensé jusqu'à ce que vous criiez mon nom." He shivered again as I nibbled his ear. "Some of us paid attention in class, Jazz." I chuckled and moved away from him to get dressed, his face frowned slightly narrowing his eyes at me.

"We didn't take French at school." He pushed causing me to laugh as I pulled my jeans on.

"I did. Well, I did extra lessons with the French exchange student and I learned a few things. I found out that I picked up the language easily. Do you really want to know what I said?" Pulling on a jumper I walked closer to him pushing him down on the bed and crawling over him.

"First, I told you I loved you, then, I told you that your hair is like the morning sunrise, your eyes are like the sea, so rich, so beautiful, and then I told you that I wanted to fuck you senseless until you screamed my name." Jasper moaned rocking his hips against me as I kissed his neck.

"Fuck, can we just stay here and fuck?" He breathed out breathlessly as he pushed his hips up further wanting more friction.

"No, come on, we're going out. I want you to see Paris and I want you to look for a ring." He beamed at me, any single signs of Jasper being unsure about us, about him being with me were wiped completely away.

Grabbing our coats we made our way out of the hotel, our fingers laced together as we walked through the streets of Paris, so closely knitted to one another I wondered if this would always be like this. I didn't think I had ever walked so closely to a partner before, been so close that I could feel their body heat pouring off of them, their scent filling my nose. We rounded the busy shopping streets and entered a jeweller's that had caught Jasper's eye.

"Whatever you want, baby." I whispered in his ear as we entered the shop.

"Est-ce que bonjour, je peux vous aider?" The sales assistant asked as we reached the counter, Jasper smiled squeezing my hand a little tighter.

"Bonjour, parlez-vous anglais? Ma fiancée et je voudrais acheter quelques anneaux d'enclenchement." I asked smiling at the assistant. Jasper looked almost radiant as his eyes scanned the cabinets looking at the rings. I hoped this guy spoke English, I wanted Jasper to know what was going on and my French wasn't perfect.

"Ah this way, gentlemen. Is there anything in mind you would like?" He asked, his voice thick with his own accent.

"Jasper, seen anything you like?" Jasper frowned staring at the cabinet, trying to decide if he liked one or not, he grinned looking at me. Smirking I pulled him closer to me to whisper in his ear. "Have you seen something?" He nodded his head slightly and tapped the top of the counter.

"Can I look at this tray please?" Jasper asked, the man smiled and moved around the counter to open up the cabinet, pulling out the tray of rings.

"This one, sir?" Jasper nodded. "Champagne?" He suddenly disappeared into the back of the shop while Jasper picked up a simple gold band.

"Is that the one you like? You can have whichever one you like, I really don't mind, just as long as you're happy." He placed the ring back inside the velvet cover and looked at me.

"I saw something else... um, wedding bands." He looked down slightly dropping his eyes from mine, my fingers touched under his chin bringing his gorgeous face back to mine.

"Show me." A simple yet beautiful smile crossed his plump red lips as he took hold of my hand and pulled me to the other cabinet.

"Those." He pointed to the two rings that sat together, matching the other one. I smiled liking the ring he pointed to.

The platinum bands had a row of diamonds that sat perfectly in the middle of the band, the light caught the diamonds making them sparkle and dazzle in the sunlight that was shining through the shop window. Looking at Jasper his face looked so happy, so relaxed and loved.

"They're beautiful, baby. Do you want them?" He rubbed his chin and looked at them pulling at his bottom lip.

"Yes, but do you want them?" He asked me as his hand snaked around my waist. Jasper was full of surprises today, he had actually held my hand all the way here, and now he wasn't even thinking twice about being this close to me in a shop. As happiness consumed me I leant forward and captured his lips with mine, as our lips moved gently together we both forgot where we were. My hands found themselves hold his firm pert ass, squeezing it hard, making him moan into the kiss, his hands fisted my hair tightly pulling me closer to him.

"Excuse me." The shop assistant's voice suddenly broke through, we pulled out a little flushed and breathing heavily. Jasper turned his head away, shaking as he tried to control his giggles that escaped through him. Smiling, trying not be consumed with embarrassment I looked at the shop assistant.

"Um, sorry...." I bumbled out unsure of what I should have actually said. Fucking hellfire, it was like being caught by parents when things got a little too heavy.

"You're in love and celebrating your engagement, please don't mind me. Here, on us." He offered a glass of champagne each as Jasper continued to giggle next to me. I rolled my eyes at him hoping he wasn't going to just go into some childlike mode where he giggles for the next half hour.

"Thank you." Jasper managed to get out through his giggles and made his way back to the bands, he picked up another platinum band. The band itself was simple and not as flashy as the wedding band we had just been looking at. Picking it up he placed it on his finger, the horizontal lines made the band look like it had been scratched but strangely looked effective.

"The band has been diamond cut to create the sharp line. It suits you very well." Jasper held his hand in front of him and wiggled his fingers looking at it. He was shining looking at the simple band on his finger.

"I love it, can I have this one?" He asked grinning at me. I nodded at him taking hold of his hand and looking at the band that now sat there.

"It's beautiful, baby, and seems to be made for your finger. So that's one down then." My eyes scanned the cabinet, so many rings caught my eye.

"Can I keep it now? Wear it out of the shop?" Chuckling at him I nodded picking up a gold band which had rows of diagonal lined little black diamonds in it.

"What do you think?" Jasper placed his glass down on the countertop and took the ring from my hand, he turned it around looking at it.

"I like it, but I'm not the one wearing it, you are." Taking the ring back off him I toyed with the idea of putting it back down and finding another one. I knew Jasper couldn't really afford the price of it, I didn't want to max out his credit card on a ring for me. As nice as it was I didn't want him to break the bank for me.

Putting the ring back down I felt a little deflated, when you see something you like and something you want everything else suddenly doesn't seem that nice, you compare everything to that one. Trying to push the feeling away and just be happy I looked at the other rings, seeming as though I had been standing there forever looking at them like a child in a sweet shop trying to pick a chocolate bar I sighed and ran my hand through my hair.

"What's the matter with the first ring you picked up?" He asked resting his head on my shoulder and wrapping an arm around my waist. "I liked the first one." I shook my head not wanting to tell him why I didn't want that one.

Money to me was different to Jasper, the price of something never really entered my head. I had money, and plenty of free cash. I was one of the lucky bastards in this world who was born into money, Jasper wasn't. He didn't have the funds where a couple of grand wouldn't go amiss.

"If this is because of how much it costs, then don't. We have just gotten engaged, you let me have the ring I wanted and I'm doing the same for you. It's only money." He gave me a gentle kiss on my cheek. "Have that one, please." He picked the ring back up and held it in the palm of his hand for me.

"You sure?" He rolled his eyes at me thrusting his palm into my face. Chuckling I took it off him. "I guess this is the one then." Jasper's eyes danced at me as he walked towards the wedding bands we had seen. "Any chance of a discount?" I whispered to the assistant, Jasper gasped at me shaking his head.

"Edward, fuck, you can't ask that." Err, why the fuck not? The amount we're spending in here I would think a discount would be fair game.

"I'm sure we could sort something out." I grinned at the shop assistant and stuck my tongue out at Jasper. "Is there anything else, gentlemen?" I looked at Jasper waiting to see if he really did want those, he nodded smiling radiantly.

"And the wedding bands as well, please." Staring at the band that now sat on my finger I smiled softy to myself as Jasper spoke to the assistant.

Yesterday our relationship lay in ruins, I didn't think that we would be back on track and for things to be better than before. We had gone from being apart to being engaged. I, for one, couldn't be happier. As painful as the argument had been it had brought us closer together and put us where we needed to be to be able to grow together

Leaving the shop after a nice dent in both our bank accounts, we headed towards the Eiffel Tower. Jasper sat in the back of the taxi looking at his ring smiling to himself like an idiot. My gorgeous little bunny looked more relaxed now than I had ever seen him before, I guess we really did make each other complete.

"Babe, are we going up? As in all the way up there, to the top, the fucking top?" Jasper rambled out fast as we got out of the taxi, taking his hand I squeezed it gently.

"We are, I want to do something up there." Jasper raised his eyebrow at me as I smiled innocently at him. "You'll see." Pulling him toward the entrance of the tower we took the lift to the very top.

Out on the platform the cold wind hit us as we looked out over Paris in the cold February air. Jasper shivered as we walked around the top, I grinned mischievously at him. The platform was empty give or take a few people that were there, it was hardly what you would call busy. Pulling Jasper to the side and turning around so his back was to my chest I pulled him tightly to me, pushing my hard on into his ass, Jasper moaned softly.

"I love you, bunny." I whispered in his ear before trailing my lips down his neck, kissing, nibbling, and sucking every inch of his exposed skin.

My hand slipped round his waist sliding up his coat and jumper feeling his hot skin underneath my cold fingertips. Jasper shivered at my touch and moaned as my fingers lightly trailed along his abs, feeling every hard muscle and sharp line, dipping my fingertips just under the waistband of his jeans every now and then.

"Edward." He whispered out in a pleasured sigh as my fingers popped the button on his jeans before sliding down his boxers and grabbing onto his hard cock.

"Yes?" I whispered stroking his hard length that twitched and throbbed in my hand. He moaned softly biting his bottom lip as my thumb ran over his weeping slit, spreading the pre-cum around his beautiful cock. "Do you want me to stop?" I asked squeezing him in my hand and pushing my own hard cock against his ass. He shook his head at me before turning his head slightly and giving me a kiss. "How badly do I want to fuck you right now? To feel your tight ass around me while I bury myself deep inside you." He moaned as I stroked him a little more feeling his hips gently thrust forward into my hand.

"I want to feel your ass clench tightly around me as you cum hard. I want to ram my hard cock into your tight fucking hot hole again and again making you scream in ecstasy." I picked up my pace a little more as Jasper bit his lip trying to stop his loud moans of pleasure escaping. His cock twitched and throbbed in my hand with every word I whispered to him. "I want your cock pushed down my throat. I want to feel your fucking hard length covered in silky skin on my lips and tongue. I want to feel your cock pulsate in my mouth while you shoot your hot cum down my fucking throat."

"Oh fuck... Edward." Jasper panted out. "I need more." Gripping him tighter in my hand my pace picked up. Jasper moaned and thrust his hips forward into my hand.

"I want to run my tongue along your fucking beautiful cock and worship every inch of it, swirl my tongue around the tip and dip into your weeping slit tasting you and making you gasp and moan in pleasure, before my lips slide down your cock taking you deeply with me, blowing your fucking mind." He moaned loudly throbbing in my hand. "Cum for me, baby." I sucked hard on the base of his neck, right on his soft spot.

"Jesus..... Fucking........ Shit." Jasper cried out in a muffled scream as he came hard covering my hand in hot creamy cum. Kissing his neck where I had just sucked I worked my way up to his lips, giving him a soft gentle kiss before slipping my hand away.

"Hotel room, now." I growled out in his ear. He nodded breathlessly and grabbed my hand walking back to the lifts.

A flushed looking Jasper stood in the lifts with others, his eyes on me the whole way down. The thought of people being in the lift fucked me off. Why did they have to chose right fucking now to go down? Being unable to touch him now drove me crazy and turned me on even more, like a forbidden fruit to me right now, I wanted him badly.

The taxi back to the hotel seemed to take forever and a day. I hadn't touched him since we left the tower, knowing that if I did I wouldn't be able to stop myself from tearing his fucking clothes off and fucking him in the back of the cab. As much as I would like to I didn't fancy getting arrested for fucking in public.

Practically dragging him by his hand inside the lifts of the hotel room I couldn't hold back any longer. Fuck the fucking bellboy, he can have a free fucking show.

Pinning him hard against the wall inside the lift my lips attacked his with force pushing my tongue deep inside his mouth, tasting him, feeling and exploring every inch of his mouth while his hand gripped my hair almost painfully tight. Moaning maybe a little loudly in the lift as I pushed my hard cock against his I felt sure I was about to cum at any given second.

The lift doors suddenly opened and we almost fell out of them. Staying locked closely together we kissed hard and had hands roaming each other's bodies already undoing coats and belts as we moved along the corridor towards our room. Breaking apart long enough to open the door before pulling him back to me I pushed his coat off and kicked the door closed with my foot.

"Too many fucking clothes." I growled out as I bit down on his shoulder. I suddenly had this urge to bite him and hard, to sink my teeth into his skin.

"Fuck me already." He moaned out as his hands pushed down my jeans letting my hard cock spring free. I knew I wouldn't last long, being up on the tower jacking him off had pushed me close to cumming.

"Over the fucking chair." I demanded pushing him towards where I wanted him to be. "Lose the fucking clothes, baby." Jasper growled loudly at me making my cock twitch with fucking need.

Disappearing for a second I returned with a condom and a bottle of lube. Lubing up my fingers I thrust two into him making him gasp in pleasure, scissoring him before adding a third I pushed my fingers in and out of him.

"I'm ready, I need you.... fucking now!" He snapped in a sexy fucking tone. I moaned loudly removing my fingers and tearing open the foil packet with my teeth. Rolling it down my length I whimpered slightly anticipating the feeling of being in my love.

Bending him over the chair, I pushed myself almost forcefully inside him, creating the most wonderful sound to leave my lovers lips. Pulling back I slammed into him again grunting at the sheer fucking feeling of him, of being in him.

"Fuck..... Jazz." My thrusts became fast and hard as any thought of making slow love to him went out the fucking window. I wanted to fuck him hard. I heard his loud pleasured groans and growls as I slammed into him again and again. The room became filled with the sounds of thighs hitting ass cheeks and Jasper's loud vocal moans bouncing off the walls.

"Harder!" Jasper demanded in a brutal, primal growl that caused me to moan hearing his primal side kick in. Gripping his shoulder with one hand I fucked him harder and faster, pushing myself deeper and deeper inside of him as I pushed him further down over the chair.

Soon my thrusts became frantic as I neared my edge, the feeling started to build in my stomach as Jasper started to shake. Hitting his sweet spot over and over again Jasper cried out my name loudly pushing me closer to the edge. "Edward!" Jasper suddenly screamed as his muscles clenched tightly around me as he came hard, shooting his load over the back of the chair.

"Baby..." My cries came out almost slightly as my body rocked with the sheer power of my orgasm as it ripped through me. My thighs were aching as I leant on my gorgeous lover breathing hard and coming down from my orgasmic high.

"Love you." He whispered out to me as I slowly pulled out of him. Jasper pushed himself off the back of the chair and turned around to look at me. A freshly fucked Jasper had to be the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. "Shower with me." He whispered giving me a gentle kiss and leading me to the bathroom.

* * *

**_I have to thank everyone who I was chatting to on twitter for my hot scene on the Tower. Did you all like it? was it all hot enough for you? hehe._**

**_Please hit the review button send me some love and go check out my thread, thank you, Jen x_**

http://www . twilighted . net/forum/viewtopic . php?f=44&t=8018

_Has that got your tongues wagging? Remember that hasn't been beta'd yet._

_It's Fate also has it ow thread now, which is all thanks to Ontheturningaway, Girl you rock! _

_http://www . twilighted . net/forum/viewtopic . php?f=44&t=8018 Go check it out and come chat about my little fic, sure that teaser will get you talking, :)_

_Here's chapter 22!_


	23. Chapter 23

_**AN/ **Have you all missed me? You should of had this update yesterday but thanks to certain things it never got finished._

_Some of you already know that I have been flamed by someone, in the last two days I have had two reviews from the same person both being nasty and crule. The first review I could delete as they left it anonymously but the second I couldn't. To this person and you know who you are, I am updating my story so fuck you. I do this for fun, for enjoyment. I don't get paid for this, I take the time ot of my life to sit and write these stories because I enjoy it. I may not be the best author on here but I am not the worst. I pour my heart into these stories and give it my all. If this sort of shit carries on then I will report it to FFN, I don't deserve that sort of abuse from a jealous thing that could't even wrie a review without a team of fucking beta's going over it. I was going to post the review but I thought better of it, the second is there as it will be forever if anyone wants to see what sort of abuse I have taken._

_I want to thank **OnTheTurningAway, rmhale, Darkira **for being there and giving me loads of love when I first got hit, thank you so much girls for doing that your support on friday meant so much as it was Yesterday as well, much love to you three._

_Another Thankyou to **Darkira** Who I know personally sent a message to this bitch for Flaming me, **Blaculicious **for writing a review that was directed to that bitch and for giving me links for boy porn, love ya girls._

_To my fucking awesome beta **Ealasiad77** for doing a message about this in her AN yesterday which brought it to most of yours attention. Thank you to everyone who has sent me PM's I will reply to you all. _

_And last a massive thank you to my husband who has shown me never ending support, love and care and kept me from deleting my account on Friday, can't do this without babe._

_Thank you to all my readers who stick by me, the lovely ladies who talk to me on twitter and make me laugh when I'm feeling like crap, and send me boy porn to help write and as a reward for when I have done the chapter. THank you to everyone that has reviewed my chapter, guys I'm 112 away from my 1k mark, so happy over that._

_Here's 23!_

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_**JPOV**_

Dragging Edward towards the shower my lips attacked his again, our tongues battled together, feeling each other, tasting one another all over again. I couldn't believe how badly I wanted him, how the need to feel him, to blow his fucking mind, never seemed to die off. Even though he had just gotten me off twice, my need was still burning strong. My hands ran over his body, like a brush fire that wouldn't go out, feeling his smooth skin over his hard muscles.

My hands worshipped every inch of his sculpted body, teasing and caressing him. His muscles contracted everywhere my fingers gently touched him. He moaned into the kiss as his hands ran swiftly down my body. A tiny shiver ran over my body as the hot water cascaded over us. Every droplet of water that hit my skin contributed to my heightened senses. Searing fire coursed through my entire body. Breaking my mouth from his I looked into his darkened green eyes, filled with lust. Trailing my lips down his neck I softly licked his Adam's apple, dragging the ball across it. He let out a feral growl, which brought my cock to life once more.

Soaping up his magnificent body, I washed every inch of him while placing soft kisses on his neck and shoulders. At that moment we were connected sensually and emotionally. My heart swelled at the low groans of pleasure I felt against my hands as they caressed him. Being close to him filled me with love and joy. Every sweep of the washcloth down his glistening torso released soft growls and moans, it was heaven to my ears.

Moving around the back of him I kissed across his shoulder blades, sweeping across from shoulder to shoulder over with open mouthed kisses. My hands ran down his shoulders and arms before running my fingertips over his hips and down the front of his thighs. My lips kissed and sucked on his neck as his head rolled back. His soft moans of pleasure were like music to my ears, encouraging me with every movement I made. Slowly working my way around to the front of his body my fingers caressed, teased, and tweaked his hard pebbled nipples. I kissed across his collarbone before biting down gently marking him as mine.

"Jazz." My name fell from his lips in breathless pleas as my fingers ghosted over his throbbing hard cock. Trailing my tongue down his chest feeling every hard muscle over my rough tongue.

Flicking the ball of my tongue against his nipple Edward fisted my hair hard, moaning my name breathlessly as his cock throbbed against my chest. Pulling on his nipple between my teeth and ghosting one hand over his cock while the other squeezed his firm pert ass, a throaty groan left his lips.

"Jazz... please." He cried out to me as I continued to tease his twitching cock with my fingertips.

Dropping to my knees as the water cascaded down our bodies I began to worship his beautiful cock. My tongue swept across the tip creating an exciting groan that made my cock even harder, his hips bucked forward as the ball on my tongue swept across his weeping slit. I moaned of sheer pleasure as I tasted him on my tongue, pushing the ball on my tongue along his shaft up and down. His hands gripped my hair as he panted hard above me. Swirling and running my tongue across the underside of his head Edward moaned loudly.

"Fuck." He muttered in almost a whisper as I took him in my mouth as far as I could. I wondered how he or any of the girlfriends I had had managed to deep throat. Trying to think how it had been done to me I pulled back on his solid cock grazing my teeth on his shaft as he had done to me before.

Judging by the growl that left his plump lips he liked that. Breathing through my nose I pushed down on him again until he hit the back of my throat, trying not to gag I pulled back and lapped my tongue up his length. Sucking my cheeks in to create a suction I bobbed my head up and down, hearing his wonderful moans which only encouraged me while my hand played and tugged on his balls.

As I pushed him further into my mouth allowing the ball on my tongue to press against the underside of his cock, my finger slipped past his balls. Continuing to press the ball on my tongue against his cock my fingertip gently caressed his entrance. He moaned loudly as his fingernails dug into my scalp. He made no move to pull away as I continued my assault on his cock, sucking hard and pushing my tongue against him. Circling my fingertip softly around his hole I wanted to push it in, but thought better of it, not wanting to freak him out and cause us to fight. I respected and understood his decision, though I wanted him to feel what he made me feel, I thought that this was the better way.

"Fuck.. .baby.... feels... amazing." I smiled inwardly to myself as I pulled my finger away from his asshole and brought it around him, squeezing his ass cheek before running my fingers down his crack gently pushing against his entrance, being careful not to push too much. Using my other hand I began to massage his balls feeling them begin to tighten.

"Jazz... fuck." He cried out as he shot his load into the back of my throat, swallowing what he gave me. I slowly bobbed my head bringing him down from his heightened state of bliss. My knees by now were killing me on the hard shower floor, but looking up at him and seeing the amazing expression on his glorious face took the pain away in my knees. Kissing his softening cock I stood up as his mouth attacked mine, his tongue dancing softly with mine. The need and urgency all but gone from us, leaving just love and passion in its place.

"I love you, so fucking much, never doubt how I feel about you even though I fuck up... a lot." I murmured against his lips. He pulled back, his face all flushed and glowing at me, fresh from his orgasmic high. With dancing eyes and a loving smile on his lips he chuckled at me.

"Let's get out of the shower and dry off." He smiled still chuckling slightly as he flicked the hot water off. Grabbing hold of two towels he passed me one. Wrapping it around myself I followed him into the warm bedroom. He continued to carry on chuckling which by now was pissing me off.

Yeah, I could admit that I fucked up a lot, that I tended to let my mouth run away with me, but this? This continuous chuckling at me was leaving me feeling raw, cut open and pouring. Looking at him I tried to hide the hurt in my eyes as he held his hand out to me. Taking his hand he smiled warmly and pulled me to him on the bed. Laying back he gave me a gentle kiss and I relished in the feeling of his soft lips against mine. When he pulled back I frowned, not because he broke our kiss, but because he still continued the chuckling.

"Bunny, listen, I'm not laughing at you. Honestly, I'm not." He picked up my hand and kissed the ring that now sat on the third finger of my left hand. "You are you, Jazz, your mouth runs off when you're mad, everyone around you knows this. I know this, but I still love you. I laughed because you were trying so hard to cover up the way you're made. Baby, all the years that we have known one another we have always stayed close, always remained friends, we all have our faults and no on is perfect, but in my eyes..." He smiled and brushed the hair off my face. "You are perfect." His lips touched mine in a soft cherishing kiss, full of love and caring and understanding.

Pulling back from the kiss I dried off. Pulling on a pair of sweatpants I picked up the room service menu and played with it in my hands as I walked back over to the bed where Edward was laying now in just a pair of boxers. Unable to stop myself, my eyes ran over and over his body taking in every single piece of him, every inch, every muscle, every mole he had. Hearing him snicker at me I shook my head clearing it before I moved closer to him.

"Shall we? You did say we could eat and as I remember I never did get my Bacon and Brie." He chuckled at me, the sound that was wonderful, yet so special, just for me. In our short time together I had noticed the tone of his chuckle change ever so slightly when he chuckled at me, just like his laugh, or his raging temper. The same for his eyes whenever he looked at me changed slightly, the colour altered just a few degrees, his smile was ever so slightly different. The one thing that was there now in these things that were so special and only for me, was his love. It laced through his voice covering every sound he made to me, they poured through his eyes and ran through his lips with every facial expression he used.

"I didn't hear you complain when my hand was down your pants on top of the tower." His playful, beautiful tone crept through his words as he grabbed my wrists and pulled me closer to him, my ass pressing over his cock, he grinned beautifully at me.

"I wasn't complaining. I'll never look at the Eiffel Tower again in the same light." I ground my ass against his cock making him moan slightly. "But bunny is hungry" Smirking, using the nickname he had given me, I received the most heart warming smile from him.

"What would you like? Other than me, of course." He licked his lips and wiggled his eyebrows at me.

"Who said anything about wanting you? I don't recall wanting you." Playfully looking hurt at me his hand moved and rested on my hips.

"Well, if that's the case, then I suggest you get off my cock." Rolling my hips against him, his breathing hitched in his throat as a soft moan left his plump red lips.

Bending forward I kissed his neck working up towards his ear before whispering "No, I like it here." Turning his head to me he gave me a loving kiss on the lips before sighing contentedly.

"God, I love you." Hearing the words fall from his lips I wondered why I had been so withdrawn in the very beginning. Wanting, no, needing time, to sort my head out, not wanting to be seen out with him in public. God, I had even refused to call him my boyfriend. How much did that hurt him when I backed away like that?

_A fucking lot, dipshit! You should be thankful he still bloody wants you after the crap you have pulled on him. _Yeah, I get it.

"Dinner, then?" He pulled the long folded card out of my hands and gently pushed me away from him, he fiddled with the card while trying to decided what he was going to have. How anyone can take this long to pick food I will never know. Edward might have grown into a man, but he was still the same five year old little boy trying to pick chocolate in a sweets shop when it came to food.

"Today, babe." _Hungry now, not later, but now! God damn it, Edward, pick something off the fucking menu, PLEASE! _I screamed in my head while looking at him screw his face up.

"What are you having?" He asked his eyes now looking at the TV in front of him. _Jesus, eyes back on the card, Edward! I want food now! _While I cursed him in my mind for taking too god damn long I thought about our planned marriage.

_How would our friends react?_

_How would his family react?_

_How would mine react?_

Our friends seemed more than fine with us being together, but how would they feel about us getting married? We were in early days, so to speak. Okay, we had been together almost two months now, but that was early. The relationship was still in its infancy, people could and would look upon this as something rushed and almost as though it were a joke. Though it's not and never would be. I knew how I felt, deep inside of me, how he made me feel when we touched. We had known each other nearly all our lives, we had been friends since we were children, we knew one another inside and out, this... it just felt right.

His parents? No idea how they were going to react to this, I assumed that they would be happy for us. Edward had mentioned to me that they were pleased, if not a little shocked, about us being together. I didn't think they would be anywhere near negative towards us. My own family? Well, I was disowned. Other than Rose, none of them were bothered by me, not now that I was with Edward and happy. Happier than I had ever been in my whole life. We were made for each other, we fit perfectly together in everything we did, whether it was holding hands to holding each other in our arms. We were perfectly designed for one another. How had we never seen this before?

With the thought of my family running through my head I wondered why Edward wanted to take my surname. They had disowned me, why would he want to take my name when they couldn't stand the thought of us being together? They had blamed him. Called him for turning me "gay". Why the hell would he want to take the name Hale and be connected like that to my family, to my parents?

Of course I wanted to keep my name. I guess that part of me from being 'straight' was still there. I always thought getting married my wife would take my name, as it's what you do, but now? With me marrying Edward, why should I keep my name and he lost his, especially since my own parents had been so harsh and nasty to him.

Flicking the menu card that was now hovering above his nose he looked startled. His attention had long since disappeared from ordering food and he was now watching some nineties movie that was in English. "Huh?" Was his response to me as he continued to watch the movie.

"Huh? Babe, hungry, pick food now." He grinned at me and drifted his eyes back to the menu, he frowned and passed it me. "Well?"

"I don't know, you pick something for me. I can't decide what I want." Before he had even finished his sentence to me he was back looking at the film.

Placing my order I sat in the living room of the hotel room. I could hear the noise coming in from the bedroom where Edward lay watching the film. My choice to sit here and not go in there to him wasn't done to stay away from him, it was more to do with my mood.

Thinking about my family, my parents, Edward wanting to take my name, left me in a pitiful mood. They wouldn't be there. My parents wouldn't see me get married to the man I loved, their own pride, beliefs, or whatever it was, would stop them from seeing their son happy. Truly happy at that. With my choice to have Edward and not my parents it left a hole in my chest. I wouldn't change my mind, undo the choices I made and not ask him to be mine forever, but I wish.......

My head shook as I tried to rid the mood I'd fallen into. This was meant to be a happy time, not for me to be all pitiful and lost because of my family. I didn't want him to see me like this, I didn't want to alter his mood, but I needed him. Not as my lover or as my soon to be husband, but as my friend, my best fucking friend.

Hearing his footsteps across the floor I tilted my head to see the magnificent creature walking towards me. His brow fused and pulled together, my mood already clocked and registered in his mind. There was no running from him, not that I would, but it was hard to want him as my friend, and not alter his mood as my lover.

"Jazz?" His fingers laced through mine as he planted a kiss on the end of my nose. I never thought that a little kiss on the end of my nose could make me feel so loved and wanted as I did right now. "Come here." He sat down next to me and pulled me to him. My head rested on his chest as his strong arms wrapped around me holding me close to him, to where I wanted and needed to be right now. Pushing my face into his hard warm chest I inhaled deeply, letting his scent fill my nose and lungs, letting it wash over me and run through the veins in my body, relaxing me, calming me, and making me feel content.

"What's wrong, baby?" He asked in a tone that showed his level of understanding. I had always felt open with him, always felt as though I could openly tell him anything and never keep a thing from him, he was easy to talk to. Even before we became us, before we fell in love, Edward was the easiest person for me to talk to. He just got me, understood me and what was going on, even if I had trouble explaining myself.

"Why Hale?" I asked murmuring into his chest, feeling the slight pull on his lips as he sighed. I knew he was smiling.

"Why not? Jazz, I know you have always seen yourself getting hitched and your wife taking your name, why should it be any different because you're marrying me?" Twisting into his body tighter like I needed to be completely overtaken by his skin, his arms tightened around me.

"But Hale? After what my parents have said about us? About you? Why would you want to share a name that is attached to them?" Releasing his hold on me, he pulled my face up so he could look at me. His smouldering green eyes looked at me with so much love as he held my face in his hands.

"I already share something that is attached to them. You. They created you and no matter what name you go under that blood will never leave you. I don't care what they think about us, or about me. I care what you think and you alone. Fuck them, Jazz. Never be ashamed of who you are, even if where you have come from isn't what it should be." He smiled and kissed me gently, my lips were set alight by his. Losing myself into the kiss my mouth parted on its own accord. Seconds later his tongue was in my mouth, exploring it, every inch of it. The roughness of his tongue against mine, the feel of his lips on mine, the hotness of his sweet breath flowing into my mouth, I was becoming unglued and fast.

He pulled away from me all too soon with a smile on his face so sweet and caring, so perfect. "If you don't want me to take Hale, I won't. If you would sooner take Cullen, you can. I don't care as long as you're happy and as long as you're mine."

"I am yours, for as long as you want me." His hands slid down my back and rested on the top of my ass lightly.

"How does forever sound?" The softness of his voice fell from his mouth, a mouth that I fucking loved, a fucking talented mouth.

"It sounds good to me." It did, the thought of having him forever was an amazing feeling. This was it for me, he was it. I knew how I felt, I knew what I felt, and it was a damn sight more powerful than anything I had ever felt before.

"Just think what a fucking insult to them it will be if I do?" He raised an eyebrow at me. "They won't expect you to keep your name, baby. They will think you will take mine. If you keep yours you're sticking your finger up to them and showing them you don't fucking care what they think." He had a point, I guess.

"Hmm, maybe. I don't know. I mean, yeah, I'm happy you want my name. I would love for you to take it, but what if a few years down the line you suddenly regret it and think that maybe you should have kept Cullen and not taken Hale because of my family?" His breath fanned my face as he breathed. The emotion on his face never faltered, it stayed soft and loving.

"Jazz, I love you, not your parents. I've taken a lot in this relationship and I've not given a lot in return. I want to take your name as a way of me giving something to you. Taking your name I'm handing myself over to you, being marked as yours by carrying your name. I won't suddenly regret it and wish I had never taken it, even though your parents are cunts, they're not you." Looking at the band on my finger I twisted it around.

A smile weaved its way across my face as I looked down at the shiny band of platinum around my finger. Happiness was what I was feeling, but that word didn't cover it right... Euphoric? Was that what I was? I was blissed out, in such a state of sheer joy and happiness, that I was euphoric?

Everything felt like we were in our own little bubble, our own private little world. Did we ever have to leave and go back to the normal world? I didn't want to. I wanted to stay here forevermore and be locked away in our own world, just me and him, together with no family around to bring us problems and cause us pain.

"Bunny?" I looked at him suddenly feeling as though I had woken up, my face just a few inches away from his. "Door, baby." The knock on the door tapped again. Fuck, had I just completely lost myself in my own thoughts? I couldn't remember doing much after he last spoke other than thinking. Thinking about us, our future. The thought made me giddy and fuzzy inside as I watched him walk to the door. God, I loved him.

* * *

_Did we like the shower scene? hehe._

_Right there now has it's one thread on Twilighted thanks to the wonderful **OnTheTurningAway** for sorting that out for me, much love hon. http://www . twilighted . net/forum/viewtopic . php?f=44&t=8061_

_Hit the review my fucking awesome readers and send some love, here's the thing if I hit the 1K mark before our boys return home, I'll write the Mile High Club. _

_Thanks Jen x_


	24. Chapter 24

**_AN/ _**_Hello my lovelys, have we missed me and my boys? This chapter has been soooo hard to write, if you have been following me on twitter you know I have been moaning about my wall, and I offered to pay someone to finish it off. Yes I get stuck on some interesting parts. hehe._

_I want to thank you all for the amazing support you guys have given me since I got flammed. Thank you so much for all the PM's and lovely words in your reviews. It means a lot to read them even more so after being flammed. Much love. _

_Of course a massive thank you to my beta Ealasaid77 who is currently ill and got me this back in just a few hours so I could update. _

_Now my deal was if I hit the IK mark then I would write the mile high for when the boys come back. Well the next chapter the boys are coming home so this is the last one to hit that mark. _

_I hope you enjoy this chapter and well.....you see :D  
_

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_**EPOV**_

Our time in Paris was almost at its end. The days just didn't seem to be long enough to see the sites, the nights seemed too short as we made love for hours. The thought of returning home, of returning back to our normal life, the normal routine, sent a small ounce of dread through me.

How quickly I had gotten used to this, become used to having him by my side all day long, all night long and not being apart. Though I know it's healthy to be apart from one another at some point, so you have that wonderful feeling when you see them after a day apart. The nervous feeling that builds in the pit of your stomach, turning around and around until your eyes met their's and you're consumed by the sheer power of having missed them, it's something that I didn't want to feel just yet. I didn't want to be as though we were like ships passing in the night as we sometimes were. I was at home when he was at work and I was at work when he was home. Work gets in the way and blocks our time together, whoever thought that going to work was a must needs fucking killing.

So much had changed in so little time, in the few days we had been here everything about us had changed. We had arrived here with our relationship in bits, on the brink of saying goodbye to one another permanently to being engaged to one another. _Fuck, I was engaged!_

The thought alone made me smile. It was something I had always wanted, it's really what everyone wants in this life, to find their one. No one really wants to live their life alone, to live out their days sad, lonely, and unloved. Some part of me never thought I would be lucky enough to find a man who wanted to spend their days with me. I always assumed that I wouldn't be lucky enough for that, that I would be wasting my time going from one relationship to the next always looking and always hoping. Yet, suddenly I find myself engaged to Jasper.

I knew that Jasper was thinking about how people would take the news, how our friends would, his work friends, mine and his parents, it worried him slightly. Even though he had come such a long way and was proud to be with me, openly out there with me, he still worried how people would look at him. He had expressed his views to me, told me how he was worried if people would laugh about us being engaged after a such a short space of time. I knew and understood where he was coming from, after all you do tend to question someone when they suddenly announce to the world that they're getting married after only a few months together. Me, on the other hand? I wasn't bothered.

People could think what they liked, I had given up a long time ago caring what people said and thought. The people who cared about me would support whatever I chose to do and if they didn't, then they clearly didn't care about me. My parents would ask if I was sure, but other than that they would be behind the decision and choice I made.

My choice was Jasper. Looking at him walking around the hotel room with his trousers up, but open and no shirt on, I wanted to yank them down and fuck his brains out. _Jesus, I can see the bite marks dotted all over his lightly tanned body. I want to add more, to cover his body in my bite marks. Fuck!_

I found it such a turn on to see them in some weird animalistic way. The fact that he seemed to enjoy having them, enjoyed me sinking my teeth into him when we fucked, releasing some of the most erotic sounds deep from within his chest, drove me fucking wild.

"What are you looking at?" Jasper was looking at me through the mirror in the hotel room, his damp golden curls slowly drying and lightening at the ends.

Smirking I ran my eyes over his well-defined body, the way his back muscles moved when I fucked him from behind as his body took wave after wave of pleasure. His plump pouty lips that were perfect when his mouth was open and they were wrapped around my cock. Fuck, I didn't think there wasn't a single thing I didn't love on him. Every inch, every bend and curve, and bump and dent, I fucking loved it all.

"I can see you smirking, you know. Get your eyes off my ass and get dressed." He strolled past me, towards the bathroom, a small chuckle escaped my lips knowing I had been caught, though I hated trying to hide my looking.

"I wasn't looking at your ass." I defended getting off the bed and deciding to get dressed.

Tonight was our last night in Paris and we would be flying back home tomorrow morning, back to reality. Back to work, and for me, back to the club. My phone had been off since we landed, I didn't want the trouble of the club while we were away. Emmett knew what he was doing, he knew how to handle things, it wasn't the hardest thing in the world to do, it wasn't as though we were gone for months. Though the thought of whisking Jasper away to some far away remote place for months on end was very appealing to me.

"You were." He tipped the top of his head towards me as he came back out of the bathroom smelling of his aftershave. I smiled and moved towards him. His outstretched hand touched my bare chest stopping me from getting closer. "Dressed, or we're gonna be late." I pouted not really wanting to go.

We had planned to go to this fancy restaurant tonight, have some good food, some nice wine, and enjoy each other's company. While I wanted to go I wanted to stay here and fuck all night more.

"Fine." I grumbled slightly unhappy. My body wanted other things than fucking food, but it was our last night, our last few hours in Paris before heading back home.

Heading into the bathroom to shave and brush my teeth my eyes caught the sparkle on the ring as I turned the water on in the sink. The black diamonds really did catch the light, it was eye-catching, almost dazzling to look at. Smiling at the sight of it I felt a little bad for having liked this one. I knew that Jasper had insisted that I have it, but I also knew that he couldn't really afford it. I felt like an ass for having something that he could hardly afford, to now have that sitting on his credit card along with the wedding bands. I had tried to get him to let me pay for the wedding bands and that he could pay me back later once he had lowered his card statement, but Jasper being Jasper wouldn't have any of it.

Rinsing off and drying my face I headed back into into the bedroom. I saw Jasper dressed and ready to go, his dark navy blue shirt hugged him in all the right places on his body, making his shoulders look wide and strong. My eyes dropped down to his lower half, the black trousers hugged his pert perfect ass wonderfully. His blonde curls fell in a wonderful array of cascading honey blonde to his chin. I wasn't sure how I was going to keep my hands to myself tonight.

Moving towards him my lips touched his soft pouty lips before I pushed him back on the bed, lust overcame me as I decided that I needed him now, needed to feel him, touch him. My mind was consumed with having his thick long cock in my mouth, feeling my tongue run over his hard length that was covered by his silky smooth skin. Jasper chuckled as he fell back and propped himself up on his elbows looking at me knowingly as I was sure my lust was clear in my eyes.

"Edward..... Babe, we're gonna...." My lips crashed against his silencing him from speaking. My fingers travelled down to his waistband where I wasted no time in undoing his button and pulling down his fly.

Loving the sound that he made I dipped the tip of my tongue into his slit. Jasper's hips bucked up pushing his cock into my mouth. My tongue laced around his length as I took him deeper into my throat until my nose was buried in his short blonde curls. Swallowing around him Jasper cried out, his heavy breathing and pants were filling my ears, bringing me joy knowing that he was enjoying the pleasure I gave him.

Grazing my teeth over his rigid length and releasing him with a popping sound, I looked at my flushed little bunny. "Fuck my mouth, baby." Taking just the tip of his head into my mouth I waited for him to begin fucking my mouth.

His fingers gripped slightly into my hair as he thrust his hips forward, pushing his hard cock into my mouth. Slowly he fucked my mouth, almost as though he was scared to go too deep in case he made me gag. I hummed around him as his cock became engulfed in my mouth, slowly going deeper and deeper.

"Babe..... your....... fucking........ mouth......... amazing." He rasped out as his fingers dug tighter into my hair. Feeling him starting to lose his control I kept my head still and relaxed my throat as much as possible as his thrusts became more forceful, more frantic, causing his head to hit the back of my throat repeatedly.

Sliding my hand down to his balls I began to play with them, rolling them in the palm of my hand and squeezing gently. Jasper almost growled as his thrusts became faster and harder. Humming and swallowing around him, letting my tongue lap against the sides of his cock, Jasper was soon becoming undone, his balls began to tighten and his cock twitched in my mouth.

"Sh...... Fuck!" He cried out as he shot his hot cum down my throat. I swallowed all he gave as he rode out the last waves of his orgasm with slow swift thrusts. His grip in my hair relaxed which had become slightly painful, to sweet loving gestures of his fingers running softy through my hair.

Releasing his softening cock from my mouth I placed a soft kiss on it and pulled his trousers back up. Jasper's breathing had started to return to normal. Looking at him all flushed with a light shimmer of sweat that covered his face, his eyes hooded and glowing, he looked fucking amazing, so sexy. The need to keep him here locked in this fucking room tonight so I could fuck him senseless was almost overpowering. It took all the control I had to kiss his lips once and move away before his clothes became nothing but torn pieces of fabric across the hotel floor.

I was horny as hell! It almost felt like I hadn't had sex in months, years, the way I was carrying on. My sex drive had always been pretty high, but this right now was almost unbearable. It was like I was hard twenty-four seven. No sooner had I cum I was almost hard again and in some sad little desparate need of wanting him all over again. The fire that ripped through me, consuming everything of me in its path hadn't died down. It still continued to burn deeply within me, not faltering or moving, and certainly not dying, it was like every time we fucked it just made the feeling stronger.

Nothing was good enough, every time we fucked I couldn't get deep enough inside of him, when he hugged me close to him I couldn't get close enough. I wanted to take up some sort of permanent residency inside his body, to be under his skin and feel everything he felt. I was nothing short of madly in love with him.

"Are we going to go out and eat or are you going to distract me again?" He asked smirking, his face still flushed a delicious shade of pink.

"I rather like having you as a distraction." I smirked. "I want to stay here and fuck all night until we need to leave." Jasper's eyes darkened at my words as he moved closer to me. His hands rested on my waist as his warm breath fanned my face.

"Do we have to go back to the real world?" He murmured in a husky voice as his hands moved from my hips and slipped down the back of my boxers. "I love you, babe" Before I could even answer him his lips met mine. Weaving my fingers into his soft golden curls I pulled him closer to me, deepening the kiss, bringing our bodies flush together. Jasper broke the kiss before I was ready to, a soft chuckle left his plump red lips.

"Get dressed, we have time later." Damn, fucking right we do. Placing a gentle loving kiss on his lips I moved away to get ready. My painfully hard cock was throbbing with need. The thought crossed my mind whether I could talk him into fucking before we left, but I figured if we did that we would never leave.

Leaving the hotel we called a cab and made our way through the cold streets of Paris towards the restaurant. Jasper's hand stayed in mine as we sat in a comfortable silence with one another. The electric buzz continued to flow between us; I was sure that you could actually see the faint white lights that bounced off us. We stayed close to one another as we made our way into the restaurant, Jasper grinned like an idiot all the way to the private table in the corner.

I was so proud of him, he had completely taken our relationship on board and wasn't shying away from it. The looks we received from strangers were no longer freaking him out, though I knew it bothered him. It bothered him that our relationship would always consist of looking and tuts and comments from people who passed us by in the street. He couldn't understand why people had to be like that. This wasn't some random thought that passed him by now he was with me, Jasper had always felt this way, though now it was stronger because he was with me.

Making our way to our table Jasper's hand stayed locked in mine. I felt a firm squeeze from his hand and I looked at him questioningly. He nodded to a couple sitting just slightly off from where we were placed, a look of disgust covered their face's as we sat down. I tried not to think about it, tried to pass it off, there was never a point in challenging them. Their views would always remain the same and it would just end up spoiling our night. I had learnt over time not to waste my time, the more you paid attention to them looking the more they were likely to do something.

"Are they going to be staring at us the whole time we're here?" Jasper asked as he leant forward over the table slightly.

Picking up the menu I looked over it briefly before turning my eyes to Jasper. "Just forget they are there, baby." He frowned slightly and picked up his menu. He looked so radiant tonight, his soft glowing skin was illuminated by the soft candlelight and low light settings.

"Will I always be bothered by people looking?" He chewed his bottom lip with sad little eyes. What could I say to him? Truth was, everyone dealt with it differently. Some people could shrug it off and not let it bother them, others couldn't.

"I don't know, hopefully you won't." My eyes drifted to the couple and back to Jasper. Picking up his hand I laced our fingers together while giving him a soft loving smile. "Ready to order, baby?"

The couple soon left, thankfully. I had begun to think Jasper was going to snap, his constant death stare at the couple across from us was becoming menacing. His shoulders squared every time he looked, the muscles in his chest and arms flexed. Pissed off Jasper was certainly a sexy looking one. I had thought he would back away from me, from us, crawl back into himself and want to leave, but he didn't. He continued to hold my hand across the table, smile and wink, he seemed completely relaxed in this environment. Though he looked and acted relaxed there was something weighing on his mind, the pull on his bottom lip every now and then was telling me that his mind kept wandering off.

I waited for him to stay something, for him to tell me as we shared our dessert. Watching him lick the spoon I had to bite my lip to stop the moan from escaping. My eyes kept catching sight of his tongue ball, that fucking ball on his tongue. Fuck, I could have that permanently attached to my cock. There wasn't anything much sexier than seeing his blue eyes look up at me as his plump red lips were wrapped around my cock.

_Stop thinking about sex! _Mentally I told myself off while I spun the wine around in my glass, watching the red wine lift up to the sides in waves. I was horny as hell, as I had been for most of the day, but I really needed Jasper to just get it off his chest and tell me what was wrong.

Deciding that I couldn't take the biting of the lip any longer I picked his hand up and laced our fingers together. "Tell me what is on your mind, baby?" He sighed and smiled keeping our fingers locked together, but leaning back on the chair.

"Just my parents, babe. I want.... wanted them there to see me get married and now I won't have that." He turned his head away and looked out of the window. Yeah, I was pissed off that he would want them there after the way they had acted towards him, but I also knew he had been close to them. To suddenly realise that they wouldn't be there at an important day in his life would be hard for him or anyone else to take.

"I know you do, that's a long way off. For all you know things could be differently by then, we just don't know. If they don't come round, then it's there loss." It was hard to switch roles here, to go from Edward the lover who wanted to tell him to fuck his parents for all the shit they had caused, to Edward the best friend who had to tell him nicely to fuck his parents.

"Yeah, I know. I never saw them acting like this..... Maybe if it hadn't come out the way it did things would be better between me and them." Placing the spoon on the plate he pushed it away from him.

"Thing is, Jasper, they have had time to get used to it now, it's not like this is a sudden thing, your mother was the root cause of our last fight. If they can't accept who you are then fuck it." He smiled weakly at me. "Baby, I know you're upset over your parents, and I wish there was something I could do to stop you from feeling this way, but there isn't." He smirked.

"There is something you could do." His eyes locked onto mine darkening by the second. "We could head back and continue what we started earlier." The husky voice he spoke with went straight to my cock. The devilish look in his eyes with a dirty smirk on his lips wasn't helping the raging hard on that was desperate for release.

The light pink of the tip of his tongue slipped through his plump red lips, running across them, wetting them. My eyes caught sight of the black ball that sat on the middle of his tongue, teasing me. His eyes stayed locked on me as mine darted from his eyes to his lips. _Fuck! _There was no way I would make it back to the hotel without pulling him down some alley to fuck him senseless. An alley was a little too in the dirty section for me, but the toilets certainly weren't out of the question.

"Let's go." Standing from the chair I downed the rest of my wine. It was a shame to down it in one and not savour it, but savouring it would waste time, time I didn't have. The thought of just taking Jasper over the table was becoming more and more appealing.

Settling the bill we made our way towards the toilets. Thankfully they were out of sight, so no one saw us going in.... Well, I didn't think they did.

Clicking the lock on the door I pushed Jasper up against the sink. My mouth attacked his with force, pushing my tongue into his mouth. Our tongues battled together as my hands pushed up his shirt feeling his hard soft skin underneath my fingertips. Jasper moaned into the kiss as my hands ran over his nipples, turning them into small hardened buds. Jasper's back arched off the sink as I pulled his nipple ring. A sharp growl left his lips as my mouth moved down his neck, biting and nibbling it as I went.

"I want you so fucking bad." I growled out as I pushed my hard cock against his. Jasper moaned as his nails scraped down my back and gripped my ass pulling me closer to him.

My hands moved around the waistband of his trousers undoing the button and pulling down the zipper with fumbling fingers. My fucking need to feel him, to be completely buried inside of his tight fucking hole was stopping the signals going from my head to my fingers.

"Edward........" He cried out breathlessly as my hand slipped down the waistband of his boxers and grabbed hold of his hard hot cock, pumping him quickly as my need for him went into overdrive. Running my thumb over his leaking head I pushed his trousers and boxers down giving me more room as I kissed and sucked up his neck.

"Fuck me...... please." He cried out into my ear as my hand worked his cock bringing him closer to the edge of his release. Hearing his command I let go and pulled out a condom and a small bottle of lube from my jacket pocket. Jasper's hands soon found themselves yanking down my own trousers letting my rock hard cock spring free from its confinements, stroking me.

"Jazz...... don't.... please" I begged as I tore the foil wrapper open. I was already close to coming, I wanted to cum with me being inside of him and not with him wanking me off. He chuckled and kissed my neck taking the condom off me and rolling it down my hardened length.

"I love your cock." He whispered in my ear as I poured lube on my painfully hard cock.

"Turn fucking over." I growled out grabbing him and turning him around. Pushing two lubed fingers into his tight fucking ass Jasper moaned out, his head rolled back onto my shoulder as I looked at him through the mirror.

"That...... feels...... so...... good." He grunted out as I thrust my fingers in his tight ass. A whimpering sound came from him as I removed my fingers. Our eyes met as we looked at each other in the mirror. His blue hooded eyes looked back at me, his mouth falling into the shape of an 'o' as I rubbed the head of my cock up and down his ass crack. We both moaned as I pushed all the way into his tight ass.

Slamming into his tight ass again and again, our moans filled the bathroom. Gripping tightly onto his hips as my thrusts became more frantic, pulling him back against me as I neared fucking oblivion.

"So fucking...... tight, baby." I grunted out. "Touch yourself, baby." Watching as Jasper reached down and gripped hold of his cock was almost my undoing. Pushing my face into the nape of his neck I grunted loudly as I felt Jasper's ass begin to tighten down around me.

"Fuck!" Jasper cried out throwing his head back onto my shoulder. He came hard covering the sink in his cum.

I followed moments later crying wordlessly into his neck. My body jerked as the power of my orgasm ripped through me. My hips continued to thrust forward as I rode out the final waves of my orgasm. Jasper's hand found its way into my hair, caressing my scalp in a loving way. Lifting my face off his neck I saw his beautiful flushed face, his blue eyes so deep opening a window into his soul.

"Love you." I whispered against his lips before capturing them with mine in a gentle cherishing kiss. He smiled sheepishly at me as I pulled out of him and got rid of the condom.

"Do you always come this prepared?" A delicious smile played on his lips as he spun the small bottle of lube in his hands.

"Only when I'm horny, besides, you told me to fuck you." His eyes danced at me as he attempted to sort his gorgeous blonde curls out.

"You looked like you've just been fucked, Jazz, sorting your hair out won't take that shimmer off your face or that silly grin either." He chuckled and sighed before lacing his fingers through mine.

"I have just been fucked by the man I'm going to marry. Let's go before people start knocking." Pulling me towards the door he carefully unlocked it and opened it, noticing one of the waiters standing outside. He smiled widely at him, not a single sign of being embarrassed.

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_Was that all hot enough for you? My beta has told me that since I have started watching more boy porn my humps are getting hotter, do you all agree?_

_Right There has it's own thread on Twilighted thanks to **OnTheTurningAway **who is just amazing, love you honey!_

_ http://www . twilighted . net/forum/viewtopic . php?f=44&t=8061 go check it out and come chat over there about it, tell me what you all think about certain things in the story, feedback is always great._

_Ok my lovelys hit the review button and send some love and hopefully we will have the mile high next chapter! Jen x  
_


	25. Chapter 25

_**AN/** Hi everybody it's been days since I last updated this story but I finally, FINALLY got the chapter done, sorry you have all had to wait so long when your used to getting an update from me everyday. My block, wall whatever you want to call it is giving me hell! I hate it but I know I'm not alone when it comes to walls, all writers go through it and get over it, so I just have to ride mine out and hopefully it won't last to much longer. Of course being flamed had to happen now when my confidence is at it lowest thanks to my wall, so that's adding to my problem of not writing._

_Thank you to everyone who reveiwed the last chapter, we have hit and gone over the 1K mark. I'm so pleased, honestly I'm so proud that I've hit it I ave a nice sense of achivement right now:)_

_Thank you to my beta for doing her thing and helping me out with this chapter when I couldn't get from A to B, your a star honey._

_I did say we would have the mile high if we hit the 1K mark, I did keep my promise Enjoy._

_Chapter 25  
_

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_**JPOV**_

A devilish smile sat on his lips all morning as we sorted everything out to leave for the airport. We were leaving completely different to how we arrived, we would be boarding that plane happy and in love, freshly engaged and freshly loved, or fucked as Edward would call it.

We spent all last night fucking and loving, sleep had disappeared from us. I didn't know if it was the thought that it was our last night here in Paris or if we were just horny as hell, but whatever it was, the tiredness I was suffering from this morning was well worth it. I was sore, deliciously sore at that. Edward had become some animalistic man last night. My body was covered in his bite marks, perfect crescent shaped teeth marks showed a trail of where his mouth had been, and how he had loved me. Edward had been rough and demanding with me, his thrusts had been hard and demanding as he fucked me seven ways from Sunday. I had to admit the dominant side of Edward was a real turn on. His husky lust-filled voice demanding in my ear made my cock twitch and throb with need as he pinned me against the wall with my hands above my head, holding them there with one hand as he gripped my shoulder and slammed into me forcefully.

The sheer thought of last night was making me hard again. As our trust in one another grew he became more rough, more dominating with me. Not that I minded, rough sex was never something I had stayed away from. Even when he was rough with me he was caring at the same time, every bite was followed by a gentle loving kiss on the spot he had just sunk his teeth into. Every hard thrust was followed by his words of love in my ear turning me on even more and making me pant with need and want. Our sweaty bodies and blissful screams of pleasure had continued well into the night before a softer side of Edward had come out.

He had lain me on the bed, his lips against mine, as his hips rolled softly into me, making slow sweet love to me. Connecting with me and covering me in his love, there was no urgency, no mad panic to fuck each other's brains out. This had been all about our love, what we felt for one another, and while I had cum so fucking hard being pinned against the wall, the way I came during our slow lovemaking was so much better. It was on a whole different level. Every part of me was alive, every fibre in my whole body burned with such intensity that my nerves shook as my body was gripped by an almost painful orgasm. Never in my life had I felt anything as powerful as that. It seemed so perfect, so out there that words failed me to even begin to describe how he made me feel.

I was high. Completely and utterly high on my emotions, on an euphoric plane that I never wanted to get off of. I wanted to be on it forever flying through outer space and filled with such unbelievable happiness that I had only dreamed about.

Going back home, back to our old life was the only thing that was dampening my happy mood. The thought of work was now setting in. Why was it that every holiday had to end with you going back to work? Don't get me wrong, I loved my job, I enjoyed it and it paid well. That didn't mean I wanted every waking minute to be spent in that building, surrounded by people who had since stopped speaking to me because I was with Edward. Even now I wouldn't class myself as gay, Edward was and would always only be the only man I was ever with. This little bit of information didn't stop the gay porn links being sent to my computer, or the gay jokes flying around about me. The harassment continued. Maria had told me to take it further to stop it, but I didn't. I just didn't care. While they spent the weekend going from club to club trying to pick up some pussy, I was with Edward, someone who I loved, someone who loved me. They would give anything to have what I had with Edward, and because they didn't have it they threw abuse my way.

I was pretty sure that when we did get back home and back to work they would have a field day over Edward and me getting married. I wasn't going to hide it, or pretend that it wasn't happening. I was happy, proud even, that he wanted me that much, that the thought of spending his life with me filled him with joy and happiness. I had every intention of telling everyone when we got back, our friends, our families, everyone.

My parents were going to find out from me, not from someone else or some jealous twisted ex bitch who wants to try and screw things up even more for me. I was planning on going home when we touched down to tell them, face to face. Even though I knew that I was going to be walking into a place where I was no longer welcome, I felt they should at least find out from me and not from someone else.

The soft snoring sound coming from Edward as we laid on the bed trying to relax before our evening flight broke my train of thoughts. Looking at him I watched him sleeping peacefully on his stomach, his check resting on his forehead, his bronze hair falling in beautiful strands that parted and rested across his forehead and face. He was radiantly stunning, so gorgeous I wanted to ravish him over and over again, worship his whole perfect body from head to toe slowly with my hands and mouth. I wanted to kiss every inch of him, showing him just how much I loved him.

Brushing the hair off his forehead I chuckled slightly as it fell back to where it was on his alluring face. Unable to help myself I kissed the shell of his ear, he let out a contented breath as I moved closer to him, letting my fingers lightly trail up and down his back while I kissed his neck. My fingers toyed and played the waistband on his boxers dipping in slightly squeezing the top of his ass cheek. Edward took in a shaky breath as my hand went fully in, grabbing a fist full of soft squeezable ass.

"Jazz....." My name fell from his lips in almost a whisper as I continued to kiss his neck and nibble his ear.

"Wake up, babe, our flight is due soon." He groaned rolling onto his back stretching his arms back and over the edge of the bed.

His T-Shirt raised up showing me the perfect patten of his abs, so defined from his hours of working out. His white skin looked so soft and silky as it covered his hard muscles, the short hair trail from his navel looked so inviting, so tempting. Leaning forward I trailed my tongue slightly across his stomach touching a soft spot that made him giggle and squirm. His hands came down grabbing my head and pushing me away from his ticklish spot. Allowing him to move my head my hands went to his ticklish spot causing him to jerk and let me go.

"Ja..... Jazz..... stop!" He cried out in a fit of giggles as he tried in vain to stop me from my attack. Gripping my wrists he flipped us over so he had me pinned down to the bed.

"Not funny, Jasper." His husky voice whispered in my ear as he ground his rock hard cock against mine. I moaned loudly, my back arching off the bed as he kissed my neck. Fuck, I loved him, so fucking much, more than I ever thought I ever would, be it a man or woman.

As his hips rolled against mine creating more friction my fingers tightened in his hair pulling his lips to mine in a feverish kiss. My tongue went into his mouth, exploring every inch, every tiny bit my tongue could reach it touched. He tasted so fucking good, his mouth, his skin, his fucking beautiful cock, I was addicted to him. My fucking drug that no matter how many times I took a hit the craving wouldn't stop, it wouldn't falter, subside or even dip slightly. My raw need to have him, all of him, his touch, his smell, his taste, was almost unbearable.

"Shit...... babe." I moaned out as our hips rocked against each other's. My hands slipped up his T-shirt letting them roam over his perfectly muscled back, feeling every plane, every dig in his back as his hips rocked against mine.

Feeling myself coming undone my hands gripped at his back, almost as though I was fighting to stay afloat. The orgasmic wave was on the horizon, teetering towards me. The ripples of it were hitting me harder and harder as my body was consumed by the sheer desire to have as much of him as humanly possible. Pushing my hips up and grinding them harder against his, creating even more friction between us, I felt Edward begin to shake slightly. The muscles in his back tensed up at the spasms of his pinnacle.

My hand slipped around his front as our hips ground franticly together and pinched his nipple. "Jazz....... fuck!" He cried as his body gave in, allowing his climax to overtake him. His face screwed up in pure pleasure, his mouth slightly open with his head back. His eyes were shut as he panted, fanning my face with his hot breath. He looked stunning, right now in the aftermath of his explosion with a light shimmer of sweat that covered his face, his beauty took my breath away.

"I love you." His husky voice in almost a whisper was my undoing. Crying out loudly my body was washed over with its own orgasmic wave. His hot wet lips kissed and sucked gently on my neck as my toes curled from my heavenly state. My mind was wiped out of any thoughts other than how much I loved him. My body ached as I calmed down, my laboured breathing evened out as I looked at the loving smile on his gorgeous face.

"Shit." I whispered unable to think of anything else to describe what had just happened. Dry humping was never really a thing for me, I often found it boring and pointless. Getting off by rubbing myself against someone when I could just fuck them seemed like defeating the object, but this? This with Edward had taken my whole opinion on the matter and turned it on its ass.

All I could now feel was the cold sticky wetness in my boxers. My high had left me and reality was here, this didn't feel nice. It was like being a teenager again with raging hormones giving me wet dreams and making me wake up to a nice load of mess in my pants.

The chuckles started up as I thought about it, wet dreams had long since left me. Edward looked at me questionably, wondering why I was now laughing. His beautiful face frowned at me as he rolled off his now wet boxers sticking to him which created a fit of laughter from me.

"Just what are you finding so funny?" He asked standing up and removing the items of clothing that were keeping my eyes from seeing his sexy body.

"I feel like I've had a wet dream, that I'm back to being a teenager waking in the morning with that cold wet sticky feeling in my pants." I chuckled out. Edward rolled his eyes at me and shook his head slightly.

"Simple things please simple minds." Edward said as he walked into the bathroom. I heard the shower come on and him get in.

Stripping off and removing my sticky boxers I headed towards the shower. Climbing in my hands wrapped around Edward's waist, my lips kissed the back of his neck before resting my cheek against his shoulders. I sighed contentedly, letting the wonderful warmth of his skin cover me and sink deep inside of my skin.

"We have a plane to catch." He turned his head as I brought my face to his neck and kissed his plump red wet lips.

Smiling against his lips I said "I want to go to my parents when we land. I want to tell them about us getting married." He released a long breath and gently ran his fingers across my forearm.

"Tonight?" He asked, his voice sounding a little shocked that I wanted to go and tell them. We weren't even on speaking terms anymore. The last time I saw my mother it caused a massive fight between Edward and me.

"Yes. I think it would be better if it came from me rather than hearing it from someone else." He tensed slightly as his breath became sharper, his temper was coming up.

"But why tonight, Jazz? Why go there when we first get back knowing you're only going to fight with them? Do you not think it may be best if you go there in a few days?" He questioned as the hot water cascaded down over us. I wanted to chuckle at this whole set up. I was having some important chat with the man I was about to marry in the shower? The shower of all places?

"I don't want them finding out by someone else, babe. If I stand any chance of ever getting back on some sort of track with them, then don't you think they should at least find out their son is getting married through me?" Turning and pushing the water off his face he looked at me and smiled.

"Yes, of course.... but..." He sighed. I could see the conflict in his eyes and face as he battled between being my lover and my best friend.

"But?" I asked softly bringing his face higher up with my fingers so I could see his smouldering green orbs even more.

"But, I don't want us to come crashing down from this. Jazz, we've had a great time, fallen more in love and gotten engaged. Do you really want to end our time, our holiday on a sour note because of your parents?" I shook my head at him. He was right, I didn't want this sort of crap just hours after we landed, but I also wanted to get it out of the way.

"Baby, we can keep this under wraps, or anyone we tell ask them to keep it to themselves for now, and in a few days we can head over and tell them once we're back to work. What do you say? Huh?" His green eyes were holding so much emotion in them I couldn't help but lean forward and have his soft lips touch mine.

Weaving my fingers in his hair I pulled him closer to me and trailed my tongue against his lips, he chuckled and pulled back smiling while looking at my pouty face. "We have a plane to catch." He whispered in my ear before pulling the shower curtain and getting out.

Finishing off in the shower I dried off and got dressed. Heading into the bedroom Edward was dressed with his bag packed ready to go. I groaned loudly not wanting to go back home, back to work, back to the fuckers I worked with, back to being the talk of the office once fucking more.

That seriously pissed me off. I got that it was something that the office did, someone had to be the talk of the town, so to speak, and that someone had been me. When I kissed Edward at work the news had spread like no tomorrow. In the space of an hour the whole building knew. Fuck, the world fucking knew with how fast e-mails were flying around. The talk of me now being with a man had died down, slowly they had found something else to talk about, but I knew going back would only make the questions come up again. The whispers and looks would be there with them all knowing I had spent the weekend in Paris with Edward and the fact that I was now returning to work with a ring on my finger to mark our engagement would only spark it off even more.

"Jazz.... earth to Jazz." I blinked as Edward clicked his fingers in front of my face breaking me out of my thoughts

"Huh?" I spoke as though I had just arrived back to planet earth after being in outer space. He rolled his eyes at me and pulled his jacket on.

"The airport.... to catch the plane?" He gestured with his hands.

"Yeah, sorry..... my mind went elsewhere." Closing my overnight bag I pulled my coat on and checked I had my passport and ticket.

It had gone too fast, far too fast for me, but then it always does when you're having fun. Holding his hand we left the hotel room that would forevermore hold great memories to me. I smiled thinking how it would be nice to come back here; to this very hotel, that very room in say ten or twenty years from now, reliving old memories and remembering the things we got up to while we were there.

That thought alone a few weeks, or even months ago would have scared me, scared the living daylights out of me thinking of something like that. The thought of being with Edward twenty years from now no longer scared me. I was happy to have that thought. For me, I wanted him for life. There wasn't anyone else, no other would do, only him..

"I'm going to head and see them after work on Wednesday." I said as we got in the taxi. He sighed and ran his long slender white fingers through his wild hair.

"You want me to come or do you want to go on your own?" He asked me gently rubbing small circles on the back of my hand. The electric, tingly feeling ran its way up my arm even faster than it was before, the more skin contact we had, the faster and stronger it got.

Did I want Edward to come with me? On one hand I did, I wanted the support that only he could give me, I wanted the love and care that he would shower me if things went wrong, most of all I didn't want to feel alone. But with all of this said, I wanted to do it on my own. I had no reason to have Edward with me. My parents had made it already clear they were intending to have nothing to do with me while I kept up this 'nonsense' as it had been so beautifully put to me. We weren't going to have a nice little chat with all sorts of tea and little tiny cakes. I hardly doubted that I would even be allowed in the house. This would take place on the doorstep, which would go something along these lines:

I knock on the door, they open it, see me. I tell them about my upcoming wedding, the door gets slammed in my face.

That was how this would happen, did I really need him there for that? _You know you want him there, stop being a baby._ I looked at my beautiful love, the softest smile on his perfect lips, his eys so warm and soft, so full of caring.

"Would you? I mean I don't think I will be there long, a few minutes on the doorstep, so it might be a waste of time for us to both be there, but...." His warm long fingers reached out and touched my lips, silencing me from talking anymore.

"Ssh, baby." He chuckled and lightly brushed his lips with mine. "I'll be there with you. Besides, I want to see just what they have to say with me there. We're in this together, you and me, no one else. I want you there when I tell my parents." I smiled and looked at the platinum band on my finger, pushing it around slightly watching as the streetlights outside caught the cuts in the ring making it sparkle.

"Thanks." Resting my head on his shoulder I breathed in his scent and began to relax. I couldn't believe how much he could simply relax me and make me want to go to sleep. Everything about him, from the warmth that came from his body to the feel of his heart beating against my skin was home. Edward was my home, my body knew where my home was, it knew when I needed to be close to him before the thought even registered in my head.

Feeling a soft kiss on the top of my head I smiled and wrapped my arms tighter around his waist as he gripped me tightly. I wondered if he knew I needed him him right now, if somehow his body registered that I needed to be close to him to relax me and wash away my worries, to make me feel whole and complete. There wasn't a better feeling in the world than being wrapped up in his arms, even in the back of a taxi late at night. I felt as though there was no one else around us for miles, that was a happy thought.

"We're here, baby." Edward gently nudged me. I opened my eyes slowly, I hadn't even given it much thought that I had closed my eyes and was slowly falling into a peaceful sleep. Smiling I pulled out of his arms and stretched the best I could in the back of a taxi.

"Sorry." My voice came out thick and full of sleep. He rolled his eyes and took hold of my hand and walked me through the airport.

God, I hated these places, the queuing up to wait to board the plane, while sitting on the most uncomfortable chairs the world had ever known. Mumbling and groaning while waiting to board the fucking flight, Edward found me highly amusing while he flicked through some paper occasionally making the odd comment while I pissed and fucked around trying to amuse myself by basically moaning about waiting.

Finally our flight was called and we were able to board. I couldn't wait to get off these stupid plastic chairs and be able to be sitting in the nice comfy seats of first class. Ah, first fucking class, Edward had spoiled me rotten by booking us in first class. I never wanted to fly any other way other than first class.

"Happy now?" He whispered to me with a slight hint of a smile in his voice as he fastened himself in.

"Fuck, yes. My ass is killing me." He chuckled at my words and cocked an eyebrow at me. "I meant from sitting on the plastic seats..... why does everything revolve around sex with you?" My tone was playful with him. I didn't mind horny Edward, I very fucking much loved horny Edward.

"Because we're on holiday and sex is one of the main things you do when you're away." I chuckled and shook my head. His eyes were holding something in them, something that made me think he was up to something. Looking at him questioningly he did nothing but give me a kiss and lace his fingers through mine as the plane began to move.

The light soon went out for us to be able to remove our seatbelts. Pushing up the armrest I moved closer to my lover as the hostess came round offering pillows and blankets and drink and food. Taking a couple of blankets off her I handed one to Edward and threw the other one over me.

"Come here." He whispered to me as the lights inside the aircraft died down to low light for you to be able to sleep.

"What?" I whispered back hearing him chuckle and begin to pull me towards him.

"Sit on my lap, Jasper, I want to cuddle you." Chuckling I moved closer to him and climbed on his lap, keeping the blanket wrapped around us. I rested my head back on his shoulder as his fingers gently rubbed against my stomach. He kissed my neck, placing soft wet open mouth kisses on my skin. I shivered slightly unable to stop the ripple running down my back.

"Babe." I breathed out in a whisper as his hand slowly undid my jeans and slipped down the waistband of my boxers. I moaned slightly as I felt his cool fingertips gently stroke my hardening cock. I couldn't help but become lost in the sensation of it all. Pushing myself down against his rock hard cock I wondered if this had been his plan all along.

"Jazz... push them down." He whispered in my ear. Shifting and moving I managed to push down my jeans and boxers. I was somewhat aware of Edward doing something behind me. I was unable to turn around and look, not wanting to bring any attention our way. I hardly doubted that sitting here with my jeans and boxers pushed down was hardly what the airline wanted to see or know.

Moving back towards him I felt his slick digits circle my hole. He wasn't serious, was he? We're on a fucking plane. "Fuck!" I cried a little too loudly as I felt him push two slick fingers inside of me, thrusting in and out slowly, stretching me for him.

"No one will see...... I've always wanted to join the mile high club." He whispered huskily in my ear as he removed his his fingers. "Come sit on my fucking cock, baby." His voice was almost a growl as he spoke.

Moving again I felt the tip of his hard cock push against me. Slowly moving down onto his thick beautiful cock I bit my lip not wanting to moan loudly as he entered me.

"Fuck.... oh god." I moaned out in a breathless plea as I felt him completely in me. He thrust slowly upwards into me while kissing my neck. I was sure we would get caught doing this. There was no way we would get away with this, but that thought alone made the whole thing even better. It added more of a thrill to it, knowing we were fucking on a plane while going home, surrounded by snoring passengers, it was turning me on even more.

"Baby.... stop moaning.... we'll get...... caught." He whispered in my ear with a sharp upward thrust. My hand went forward and gripped the chair in front of me while almost painfully biting my lip. "Jazz...... baby......." He grunted out as I rolled my hips to meet his thrusts.

His hand slipped down and grabbed hold of my now rock hard cock, I almost gasped out loudly as I felt his thumb run over the slit. My breath was already laboured and hard while I battled to keep myself together and not completely come undone on the plane. Every slow powerful sharp thrust of his hips hit my sweet spot pushing me closer to the edge of my release. His hand slowly stroked up and down my cock, letting his thumb roll over my overly sensitive head every now and then causing my hips to buck.

"Edward........ I'm.... gonna.... cum." My head rolled back onto his shoulder as my back arched. His movements sped up, his slow sharp thrusts were becoming faster, harder. His hand worked my cock quicker as I felt his hot panting breath on my neck.

"Cum.... with me." He whispered in my ear. It pushed me over the edge. A small breathless cry escaped my lips as I came, shooting my load onto the blanket that covered us. My body shook as my pleasure crashed wave over wave over me. I barely had any time to recover before I felt Edward's hold on my hips tighten and him moaning gently on my neck muffling his screams as he came. I closed my eyes breathing hard, trying to calm myself down before moving.

"You planned this?" I whispered to him, giving him a kiss.

He smiled against my lips before whispering at me "Yes."

Sliding slightly I felt him come out of me and I heard the ruffle of a plastic bag. I looked at him as he tied the bag off before grinning widely at me acting as though fucking in the middle of first class was something you did every day. Shifting slightly I pulled up my jeans that were now halfway down my thighs, and moved next to him, nicely removing the now cum stained blanket away from me.

"Love you, babe." I whispered as I curled myself into his side.

His arm went around me holding me to him as he replied "I love you too, Jazz."

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_Please hit th review button and send this writer with a block some love, Jen x_


	26. Chapter 26

_**AN/ **I'm back again, I actually got this chapter out a lot easier then I thought which made me happy and know doubt will make you guys happy too. I'm so pleased you all liked the Mile High club, I was a little unsure of how to do it, but I need to thank rmhale who gve me the wonderful ide of them doing it in there seats and not the loos._

_Thank you to everyone that has reviewed the last chapter, I know your all dying to find out how it goes with the parents and my plan was to have it in this chapter, but when I came to write it the boys changed there minds. Who am I to argue?_

_**Important notice, please read: **Ok guys I'm writing a one shot for the Haiti Fundraiser, there are a lot of authors who have signed to take part in this, which is all thanks to MsKathy. Donate $5 send your receipts back to us and you get to pick a one shot from over I think 100 authors. I'm not sure what the count is now, more then likely it's more. All the details are in the link below, please check it out and make a donation, after all what is $5? _

**www(dot)mskathyff(dot)blogspot(dot)com/2010/01/haiti(dot)html**

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_**EPOV**_

His warm breath fanned my chest as he laid curled up next to me. A feeling of utter contentment washed over me again and again as I held him close to me. A smile that never seemed to leave my face was once again there. His warm body curled beside me, made me feel as though we had always been this way, that we had always been together. There was the tiniest part of me that missed the whole getting to know one another, finding out what each other liked and disliked. What their favourite films were, their favourite food, those sort of things you found out when that person was a complete mystery to you. It's half the fun of starting a new relationship, it adds to that joy of discovery. I didn't have this with Jasper, knowing him all my life meant knowing what he liked and disliked. I knew he hated onions unless it was finely chopped in food. I knew he loved to eat gherkins and could easily sit and eat a jar of them. I knew his favourite films ran from the Godfather to Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, any type of gangster film he loved. I knew his favourite music, which was anything and everything. His iPod was full of all sorts of music ranging from sixties and seventies to today's current chat. I knew he would sooner have a bath to a shower. I knew he hated the cold weather and was a heat bunny, choosing to have the heating on twenty-four seven in the winter. I knew how he had gotten most of his scars, half of them I had seen happen, like the scar that sits on his right knee from where he tried and failed to skate down the railing only to fall off and smash his knee on the concrete step. Yes, I did laugh my ass off then, before I realised that Jasper had in fact broken his kneecap and had blood pouring out of him like there was no tomorrow.

I knew everything, just as he knew everything about me. The only mystery we had was finding out what the other liked in the bedroom. Would I change any of that? Give it all up for someone I knew nothing about? Fuck no, I loved knowing everything about him. I loved that we could talk about our childhood and be able to laugh together and not have to explain anything just so the other knows just what you're on about. But, I did miss that slight bit of mystery that comes at the start of every new relationship. That thought was soon forgotten about whenever his skin touched mine causing me to fall deeper and deeper in love with him.

Pulling him closer to me I kissed the top of his golden blonde curls that tumbled from his scalp. Breathing in his wonderful scent I wondered whether to wake him or let him sleep a little while longer. I had been awake for ages now while my body clock got used to the time difference again. Jasper didn't seem to have that problem though, he could sleep on top of a lamppost if you let him.

Moving slightly I pulled open the bedside drawer seeing our wedding bands sitting nicely in the box. Carefully pulling out the velvet light brown box I opened it creating a loud popping sound. The stunning platinum bands laced with diamonds shone back at me. Touching the bands lightly with my fingertip I smiled wondering just when Jasper had in mind to actually get married.

We had agreed that we would have a long engagement, to wait and let our troubles die off. Things at the start of our relationship had been rocky, I only hoped that those days were now behind us. I couldn't handle it if things went back that way again, my heart couldn't handle being torn apart by him again. Even though I knew and accepted that Jasper's mouth had a mind of its own when he was angry it still didn't stop the pain I felt that day.

For me, I wanted to get married straight away. I wanted us to hurry up and do it now, not wait around for the weeks and months on end until we felt that things between us were right. Truth be told, things would never be any better between us. We were happy and in love, we got on great, what more could possibly change between us to make it better? Jasper's parents had played their part as well as Jasper struggling to get used to us being together, alhough Jasper did seem to have his head fully wrapped around us now. He shocked me how happy and content he was to hold my hand and kiss me in public. He had been full of surprises over the weekend, not that I minded.

"What are you looking at, babe?" Jasper's sleep-filled voice hit my ears. Looking down at his beautiful blue orbs half closed and full of sleep I showed him our wedding bands. He smiled softly adding a faint sigh and lent up to give me a kiss.

"When do you want to marry me then?" He took the box off me and pulled out the rings. "I can't wait for us to get married, babe, though I won't rush you." His voice carried the slightest hint of sadness in it as he closed the box and passed it back to me.

"You're not rushing me, Jazz. If you want us to get married now we can. I honestly don't mind if you want us to start planning it now, we don't have to get married next month to be able to start planning you know." He grinned widely at me before rubbing his face with his hands.

"So shall we look at dates and stuff? You know talk about what we both want?" Placing the box back in the bedside drawer I couldn't help but grin, thinking about the prospect of us planning our wedding, talking about what we both wanted to have for the day.

Throwing the covers back and climbing out of bed I lent forward and gave Jasper a kiss on his forehead. "Yes, we can, bunny. I would love nothing more than that. You want to come to the club with me in a bit? I need to find out just what Emmett may have done while I've been away." Jasper chuckled and rolled on his back. My eyes couldn't help but run over his chest, seeing his defined muscles contract in his stomach with every breath he took.

"You think Emmett may have done something while we've been away?" That, in itself, was a stupid question, this was, after all, Emmett. The guy would think nothing of having a drinking contest in the bar, even though I trusted Emmett not to burn the place down while away I didn't trust him to not play silly little games.

"It's Emmett, Jazz, you know him as well as I do." Jasper pushed himself up onto his elbows.

"Yeah, I'll come, maybe we can tell the guys if they are there." He smirked slightly. "Maybe Emmett will have behaved himself, after all Bella was there." He said finally getting off the bed and stretching his arms above his head.

"True. I'm gonna hit the shower while you make coffee." He snorted and huffed a little making me chuckle at him.

"Why do I have to make coffee? Why don't you?" He asked folding his arms across his chest in a childlike fashion.

"Fine, I'll make it, but you tend to take forever in the shower, all that exfoliating and moisturising, de-tangling your hair, leave-in conditioner. Fuck Jazz, it's almost like living with a woman." Jasper's face screwed up in a huff, causing me to laugh.

"Why are you laughing? Hmm? Maybe you should have my shit hair and then you won't be laughing over leave-in conditioner. And I don't use all that shit anyway, I use a body scrub, there is nothing wrong with that." He defended sulking slightly. Hating to see him sulk I moved closer to him and rested my hands on his hips.

"I'm just playing with you, besides your body scrub is really nice." I gave him a small kiss on the lips.

"I wondered why I'm always running out of it, now I know." He murmured against my lips as he pressed himself closer to me, our bare chests touching causing the wonderful flow of the electric current to run through us faster and stronger.

"So are you making coffee?" I asked him pulling away from him before I ended up throwing him on the bed and fucking him senseless. I did want to go out today and check my business, although fucking Jasper all day was rather tempting.

"I'll make it." He smiled as he walked out of the room. I heard his footsteps running down the stairs as I made my way toward the bathroom.

The cold tile floor hit my feet as I walked across the floor, a simple little reminder to know we were now back home. Bathroom floors are always cold, I get that, but why was it that the one at home always seemed to be colder than the rest?

Flicking the shower on I let the water run while I stripped off. Climbing in and letting the wonderful hot water cascade over my body I smiled clocking Jasper's body scrub sitting the corner of the shower, tempted to just use it and finish off the bottle. I didn't want to upset him knowing he only had a bit left in the bottle though. I had to admit it had gone down a lot faster when I found it hiding away behind all the other shower crap we tended to buy.

Resisting using the last remains of his scrub, I showered and washed my hair wondering if one day these shampoo's that claimed to control your hair were actually going to work. That thought alone was a foolish one, they created these so-called wonder products for suckers like me who wanted to have some decent sort of hair that didn't have a complete mind of its own and actually looked rather good than the mess I had to deal with.

Grabbing a towel and turning off the water I climbed out and left the bathroom. Heading down the stairs I could hear Jasper singing along to the radio. Smiling hearing his husky voice I wondered why Jasper didn't sing more often. He would go and do karaoke if he was smashed, but other than that you wouldn't catch him singing, unlike Emmett who spent most of his time singing out of tune to whatever the radio was playing in the car or around the house.

Clearling my throat I lent against the door frame with my arm folded against my chest, amused by the sight of him completely unaware of my standing there listening to him. He jumped slightly and turned around to face me sharply.

"Fuck, Edward." He gasped out placing a hand over his chest mocking a heart attack. "You scared the shit out of me." He turned away from me and picked up my mug handing it over to me.

"Aw, you look so cute when you're all shocked like that." I smirked watching him stick his tongue out at me before chuckling.

"You know you standing there like that is unfair, it almost makes me want to turn you around and head back to bed." He walked closer to me his eyes filling with lust until he reached me. He placed one small kiss on my lips before he smiled. "But then I realised that we're going out, so the bedroom will have to wait." He flashed me a grin. "I'm going to take a shower, babe, love you."

"Love you, too." I called back as Jasper made his way up the stairs. The pile of mail on the table caught my attention.

Running over the letters and discarding the ones that showed no interest to me, boring bills and crap about how this company had the lowest rate APR on a credit card. Why was it they seemed to send more mail when you're away? My eyes caught one that was stamped from Jasper's work place addressed to him, it seemed slightly strange that his work was sending him a letter, a rather thick looking letter.

Discarding the rest of the letters I took his upstairs along with my mug, which I also made a mental note not to leave it up there to fester away for weeks on end before I actually moved it. Heading into my room I pulled out a pair of jeans out of the wardrobe along with a T-shirt. Pulling on my jeans I heard the bathroom door open and him walk across the creaking floorboards to his bedroom. Pulling the T-shirt over my head and picking up his letter I headed into his room.

My eyes caught sight of Jasper with just a pair of boxers on, his body still slightly wet from his shower making his muscular form even more inviting. Seeing me standing in his room he flashed me a smile while pulling up his low sitting jeans that made his ass look even more fuckable than it already was.

"Your place of work has sent you a letter." Jasper's brow pulled together as he took the letter from me slightly confused to open it.

Shock covered his face as he sat down on the edge of the bed. He froze, his body stopped moving, he stopped breathing as the colour left his face. His eyes stayed fixed on the letter in his hand. He finally sucked in a sharp breath and blinked a few times, but he said nothing just continuing to stare at the letter. I started to feel uneasy. That uneasy feeling you get in the pit of your stomach that turns and turns letting you know that something was wrong.

"Jasper?" I tried not to let my concern and worry come out in my voice, but I didn't think I masked it well enough. He looked at me, his mouth opened and closed like a goldfish a few times before he actually spoke.

"I'm suspended from work until the claim has been investigated." His voice was nothing more than a whisper as he handed me the letter for me to read, my eyes scanned over it.

_Mr. Hale, you are suspended from Brothers & Co until further notice. _

_On the 10th of this month a claim was made against you for sexual harassment on a certain Miss L. Stanley. As you know we take all acts of any form of harassment very seriously. You are relieved of all duties to Brothers & Co until the investigation has been carried out. _

I stopped reading and looked at Jasper who was expressionless just staring at the wall in front of him. Bending down I took hold of his hands in mine giving them a gentle squeeze. He looked at me, his eyes masked in confusion, hurt and pain.

"I..... I haven't done anything...... I swear it, Edward. I've not laid a finger on her...... she's making it up...... I wouldn't...... I...... I have you...... you believe me, don't you?" He stuttered out. I gripped his hands tightly in mine.

"Of course I believe you, why wouldn't I? These are all lies, baby, don't listen to it." He sucked in a few shaky breaths and looked at me before leaning forward and resting his forehead against my shoulder.

"What am I going to do? It's bad enough there as it is without this hanging over my head. If I get fired, then it will be on my record. I won't get another well paid job because I will always be looked upon as some perv who tried it on with his co-worker. I'll end up sweeping floors and flipping burgers." He grumbled out. Pulling him to me I wrapped my arms around him tightly.

"Don't be stupid, that place has been nothing but trouble for you for months. Baby, just hand in your notice, fuck them. You're wasted there and you know it. Lauren has thrown herself at you countless times, not to mention the crap you have gone through since they all saw you and I together." Jasper pulled himself back from the hug, his brow all creased and lined with worry.

"But what will I do for work if I just leave? I have shit to pay, Edward. I'm not fucking loaded and can't just afford to be out of work, babe." He whined at me rubbing his forehead. "Why is this happening? We come back all happy and then get slapped in the face with reality."

"I know, but Jazz, baby, if you want, you can come work for me at the club, come into partnership with me. There isn't anyone else I trust more to run things with me. Think about it. Get out of that place and start afresh." His head tilted to the side while he thought

"You mean have you as my lover and my boss? Or have you as my lover and my business partner?" He questioned looking at me as I moved and sat next to him on his bed.

"Yeah, fifty-fifty partnership. You and I both know that this letter is full of bullshit. So how about we head over there you hand in your notice. Tell them to fuck themselves, clear your desk out, and we head over to the club and I'll give you a run through of running the place?" The idea of Jasper working with me in the club did bring a smile to my face. I knew that he loved his job, but the shit he was taking from them and now this was too much for one person to have to have to take.

"But won't me telling them to fuck their job just make me look guilty?" He asked flopping back on the bed and resting his hands behind his head, stretching his muscles out. I couldn't help but run my fingertips over his abs and across his pecs, his breathing hitched in his throat as my fingertips ghosted over his nipple piercing.

"Well, yeah, maybe, but the harassment you have taken over the last few weeks should be brought to their attention. Jazz, you still have the e-mails that people sent you?" He nodded his head at me. "Well, tell them about that, tell them the shit you have had sent in your inbox because you're sleeping with a man and tell them that if anyone is a victim in this whole harassment crap it's you. You should have said something to your bosses sooner, I did tell you too, but you didn't listen." Jasper pouted his full red lips at me sulking. Leaning over his body I rested my left hand just above his shoulder and captured his lips with mine.

"Yeah, maybe I will." He mumbled against my jaw as his hands slid down my back and rested on my ass. Chuckling I pulled away from him.

"So are you going to go into business with me? Become my business partner as well as my lover?" I asked sitting up and looking down at him. He smiled widely at me showing his row after row of perfect white teeth.

"Fuck yeah. So what will my wage be? Do I get percentage or an hourly rate? Will I work on commission?" He fired the questions at me left, right, and center.

"You will get half of the profits, once everything has been deducted for the profit, then you will get your share. Have I answered your question, or are there other things you need to know?" He sat up smirking at me.

"So does this mean that I'm in charge then? I can throw people out and hire and fire and all that other shit?" Jasper started to act like a child on a sugar rush. His eyes were sparkling and dancing at me as he spoke.

"Yes, I trust your decisions, and I know you won't let this go to your head. As I said, baby, there isn't anyone else I trust more than how I trust you." He grinned at me before giving me a kiss.

Once Jasper had changed and had written and printed out his notice of resignation we set off towards his work. Jasper played around with the letter in his hand, half looking out of the window and half looking at the letter. His mood had once again shifted from happy to damn right depressed in a matter of minutes. The moment the car door closed he changed. I knew he wasn't looking forward to doing this. This, after all, was his dream, this was what he wanted to do, sit and count numbers for a living. He loved his job, he took a great thrill out of taking hold of someone's disheveled books and turning them into something that could be sent off to the tax man and giving the customer a good idea of what was coming in and going out.

Pulling up outside his work place I heard Jasper take in a deep breath, he turned to look at me with a weak smile on his face. Running my fingers down the side of his face and stopping under his chin I tilted his head and pulled him closer to me, giving him a gentle loving kiss on his soft plump lips. Resting my forehead against his forehead his sweet minty breath fanned my face as he took in a few shaky breaths.

"Want me to come in there with you?" I asked him. His lips met mine once, just one gentle cherishing kiss before he shook his head at me. "You sure?" If he wanted me to come in, I would. The close-minded bastards he worked with didn't bother me. In fact, I would happily kick some ass if I was sure that it wouldn't end with me getting arrested.

"No. No, honestly, I'm fine, but thanks." He gripped my hands tightly. "Will you wait here? I might be about half an hour or so, depends on how quickly I can get this done." He asked turning his head and looking at the big fucking building that had just turned out to be a pain in the ass.

"Yeah, I'll be here when you come out, although I am going to nip off. I need to do something before we go to the club, but I promise I won't be any longer than twenty, if you're out before I get back just wait here and call me, okay?" He nodded and flashed a weak smile and opened the door. A couple of seconds later I heard the boot open and slam shut before I saw Jasper walking towards the main office doors carrying a box that now contained all the files he was working on at home. Even though I knew he was upset with the turn of events, I couldn't help but check out his ass in his nicely hugging jeans.

Watching until he had gone in through the main doors I started the engine and set off towards the local locksmiths, wanting to get Jasper a set of keys cut before we reached the club later today. I wanted to be able to give him the keys when he got there, if he was going to be my business partner he needed his own set. That thought also reminded me that I needed to sort out a set of contracts for the business, turning it into a joint named business as well as what would happen if we both went our separate ways.

Pulling up outside of the locksmiths I noticed their sign said "keys cut while you wait." Well, that's an added bonus then, I wouldn't need to come back and collect them. Walking into the shop I placed the fistful of keys on the table as the locksmith looked at me.

"Hi, one of each please, there are ten in total." He smiled and got about cutting all ten keys, the ten fucking keys that hardly got used. There were keys for everything, and I mean everything, from the toilets to DJ booth there were keys. I never really got the need to have keys for the toilet, after all what was the point in locking the main door when the cleaners would be in the next morning to do their work, but still I got that key cut.

Checking my voicemails that had gathered up over our time we were away, I stood and listened to the same crap that came from my mother, wanting to know when her long lost son would find the time to go and visit his mother. She had left four. She knew I wasn't around, that I was away, but yet felt the need to call me a total of four times. I smiled wondering how she would take the news when she found out that her long lost boy is actually getting married to his so-called straight best friend.

I was pretty sure that my parents would in fact be happy over it. They seemed happy enough when I told them that I was dating Jasper, though a little shocked that my new boyfriend turned out to be my so-called best friend. I was pretty sure that they would be happy about it, the question was when to tell them? Jasper wanted to head over to his parents tomorrow to tell them, which was going to be fun. I could see how this would play out in a fight between us and his parents unless they had suddenly lost their thoughts and had a sudden change of heart, I couldn't see it going well. With my parents only being down the road from his, still living in the same town we grew up in, it would make sense to go and see them, kill two birds with one stone and all, but I doubted it would be a good idea. If we went before we went to his it would just end our night on a sour note, leaving my family who weren't bothered by the fact that their son was gay to heading to Jasper's who for want of a better term thought I was from the devil himself. Going to mine after his wouldn't be a good idea either when you think that tempers would be flared because of his family, it would only cause the happiness from my own family to be tainted.

"Here you go." I smiled and paid the guy, noticing that I had been here for the last twenty minutes and Jasper would be coming out of that hell hole any time now.

Back in the car I raced round to his now old work place, noticing that my love wasn't standing there waiting for me. I wondered how it was going in there for him, if they were giving him a hard time or not. I wanted him out of there now! I hated the feeling that he was sitting inside this fucking building with the fucking pricks that had done nothing but cause him fucking problems and trouble since he came out at work. If he walked away from this fucking unhappy because of those fucking pricks I would be going in, fuck getting arrested for my actions. I wouldn't have those cunts upsetting him when he was trying to break fucking free from it.

Sucking in a few deep breaths I was aware that my temper was starting to get the better of me again, and I was already on the verge of heading in there and kicking off, which given the situation wouldn't do Jasper much good. I needed to calm myself down and think about other things, which was fine while I was away from this building, but now I was here again I could only brood over it. I tried to think about giving Jasper a set of keys for the club, which was now his as well, but my mind kept flicking back to Jasper being in that place. Me and waiting didn't go well together, even more so when me and waiting were going hand in hand with me being worried over someone I loved.

Breathing a sigh of relief I saw my sexy bunny walking back towards the car carrying a box full of his stuff from his office. He looked slightly happy, better than he did when he went in, but still now the happy face I wanted to see. The boot of the car opened as he placed the box inside the boot before slamming the boot back down and walking around to the passenger side of the car. Calmly he closed his eyes and let out a long sigh, before turning his head and looking at me with a small little smile on his gorgeous face.

"Well?" I asked, hating the wait of him giving me an answer to the main questions I had going on up there inside my head.

"They accepted my noticed, but they won't pay me for my holiday or any extra days I'm still owed; not until they have finished carrying out the claim of sexual harassment." He rubbed his forehead and sighed. "I did tell them about the harassment that I have been through, and I forwarded the e-mails to them, but I don't think much will be done about it since I have now left the company." He sighed deeply and looked at me with a gentle smile on his face.

"How did your floor take it you were leaving?" I asked turning on the engine and heading towards the club.

"Well, Maria was pissed, but said she will drop by the club one night and come see me in my new club." He grinned widely at me. "And other than that I just got a few comments about the fag leaving the company, most of which I told to fuck off and at least I was happy." His hand touched the top of mine causing me to turn my palm over and interlock our fingers together. "And I am happy. Completely and utterly happy being with you and the life we share, that's only about to get better." Giving his hand a gentle squeeze and smiling I brought his hand up to my lips, kissing his knuckles before dropping his hand from my lips.

"I'm happy to hear that. So did they say how long the investigation will take?" He pulled at his bottom lip between his teeth chewing it while looking at me. "Well?" I prompted looking into his blue eyes.

"I don't know. They mentioned something about the police may be involved if Lauren wants it to go that far, though I doubt she will. She doesn't have much of a case, the company is following it up because it's procedure. Maria said she is willing to fight my corner against the bitch and say that the sexual harassment was the other way around if need be." He sighed. The worry lines already sat on his brow. I hated to see them, hated that he was concerned over what that bitch might try.

"At least I'm out of there and happy that I won't have to face that sort of shit again." He grinned at me as we pulled up outside the club.

Stepping out of the car I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my chin on his shoulder, giving him a squeeze and a kiss on the cheek. "Want to do the honours?" I asked him hovering his keys in his face. "They're yours." He took them off me grinning at me like an idiot.

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_**AN2/ **God it's almost like the old me again? Hehe. _

_This was the boys idea not mine, but the next chapter WILL be Jasper telling his parent's._

_I know some of you have been wondering what has happened to It's Fate, I've not scrapped it or put it on the back burner. I am still working on it, the chapter is close to complete so hopefully I should be updating that one pretty soon._

_Well my lovelys, hit the review button and send me some love. :)  
_


	27. Chapter 27

_**AN/ **Have you all missed my boys? I know its been almost a week since I last updated, sorry its taken so long but the last week I have been snowed under with thins. I wrote my one shot for Haiti whch is Jake and Jasper one. A little different from what I normally write. I have been hit with plot bunnies left right and center and to top it all off I now have a throat infection....nice._

_Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter I know I'm so shit with my replies I hope you can forgive me and it doesn't stop you from reviewing._

_The next chapter of It's Fate has gone up, please go check it out and leave some love._

_Here's Chapter 27  
_

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_**JPOV  
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I had the most bizzare morning's in the history of all morning's! My whole body had been consumed with this happy euphoric state of bliss only to be crashed down to earth when I received the letter. The cheek of her, the fucking nerve of that bitch. This was all because I wouldn't get it on with her, because I had turned down her advances she had gone to the big wigs and told them that I had been sexually harassing her? What the fuck was all that about? I had been a victim in all this crap, the emails I had received from people I work with, sending me links to gay porn sites as well as pictures, asking me personal questions, and generally being the talk of the office. Someone in the office had even sent around a petition asking for everyone to sign it, claiming it was against his human rights to be forced to work near someone who was diseased. Diseased? Just because I was suddenly sleeping with a man didn't mean I was fucking diseased.

Edward had been on my case about that place for a while, it was very clicky. If you fell into the 'pop group' your life at work was easy, but just as with any group of clicky people if you fell out of that group you were out-casted. My coming out had done nothing but outcast me. I was still me, still the same guy who used to go to the pub with them on a Friday afternoon at dinner time, but they suddenly didn't see it like that. I never knew if Edward had gone through this sort of crap before. I knew he had a few comments thrown his way when we had been out and he had brought his boyfriend out with us, but I didn't know if he had suffered the same sort of shit at a place of work. Though Edward and a workplace never had a great relationship.

"Are you going to open up then or just stand there like an idiot?" Bringing me back out of my thoughts I looked down at the keys in my hand.

It seemed so unreal, just this morning I was working for a company full of tossers and now I was in a partnership with Edward. I wasn't worried about us working together, we had known each other since we were kids, I knew everything there was to know about him and he did with me also. It was thrilling to think that I now owned half this company with him. Well, I will once Edward sorts out the contracts. Turning my face to Edward's I gave him a soft loving kiss on his wonderful, talented lips.

Breaking away from his strong wonderful arms I walked towards the club doors. Grinning like an idiot and with shaking hands I opened the doors to what was now my new business venture.

The cleaners were already in, along with Emmett by the sound of his booming voice. Lacing my fingers through his we walked through the empty club, it never ceased to amaze me just how different the club felt when it was empty, so big and open with not a single soul there to bump into you. You could walk freely and talk freely without no interruptions. I had to smile, this was now mine, mine with Edward, ours. I liked that thought.

It was different from my normal road of work, it certainly was a surprise when he asked me. I had loved my job, not the company I work for, or worked for as it was now, but actually the fact of working on someones accounts, that had gone. Although I was happy and over the moon with Edward's offer and I certainly wouldn't change my answer, I still felt a little..... well, lost. This was all so new, so different to my normal life, to my normal working life. This was Edward, he fit in, I doubted I would. An accountant come night club owner didn't really scream fitting in, did it? But I was determined to at least try, the worst that could happen was me just fucking up with orders and I was sure Edward had made one or two fuck ups when it came to placing his orders. Certain things had been filled more than once in his books, showcasing a fuck up.

There was always that, my way of keeping my hand in what I loved, keeping track of the club's accounts would be easier this way. And if I really wanted to do my old job again I could always freelance. I was sure Edward wouldn't mind if I chose that at some point.

"Well, you two look happy and in love. Have you kissed and made up then?" Happiness, love, passion, and contentment to name but a few ran through me hearing those words from Emmett. I grinned, stupidly I grinned wider than I ever had in my whole life. Edward squeezed my hand and tugged me even closer to him, placing a loving kiss on my cheek before looking at Emmett.

"We have." Edward murmured unbelievably close to me. "We have something to share." Emmett's eyes became almost childlike, they danced and sparkled full of excitement and happiness.

"We're getting married." Joy shot through me as I told Emmett about our upcoming wedding. I don't think I have ever seen Emmett shocked before, not even when he found out that Santa wasn't real, or when he realised that he couldn't fly like superman and he wasn't real either. The look of sheer and utter shock caused Edward and me to chuckle.

"Really? You're not.... you're shitting me, right?" I looked at Edward taking his left hand and gently kissing the engagement ring that now sat on his third finger. "What the fuck? You guys are? Guys.... Jesus...... Congratulations." He said moving towards and engulfing us both in a hug. "Guys, I'm happy for you both, shocked.... Shit, I didn't see that coming, at all."

"Thanks, Em." Edward's voice was shaking slightly as I looked at him, only love reflected in his eyes as he looked upon me. "Shall we celebrate?" He gave me a wink. Moving around the bar I opened the fridge pulling out a bottle of champagne and picked up three glasses, placing them on the bar I popped the cork.

"You two get engaged and he thinks he owns the place." Emmett joked, little did he know I now did own the place. Edward and I exchanged the same knowing smile. His gorgeous smouldering eyes sparkled, holding so much love in them, all his love for me reflected in his green orbs as he held my gaze. I knew my eyes looked the same as I stared at him, that we were mirroring each other's love in our eyes.

"Maybe because he does." Edward answered just breaking off my gaze to look at Emmett. His voice was so full of emotion, I could hear just how proud he was of us, of me.

"What?" Emmett asked his glass midair on its way to his mouth. "But Jazz your Job? How?" He asked. I cringed slightly at the words of my job. My job that I no longer had, the job I had been harassed at, the job where I arrived back from Paris and woke up this morning to a letter from them claiming I had tried it on with that fucking bitch.

"Yeah.... I left the company this morning. I have some sexual harassment case against me so they suspended me. Edward offered me joint ownership of the company, cutting the story short." I didn't actually feel as shit as I thought I would saying it out loud to someone other than Edward.

"Jazz, shit, sorry. So what's happening now? Are you having charges pressed against you or anything?" He asked picking up his glass and sitting down at the bar. "Didn't you tell them about that shit you got in those emails?" He asked rubbing his chin slightly with his fingertips.

I felt Edward tense slightly next to me, his body shifted just a fraction like he was readying himself for a fight. Squeezing his hand firmly trying to calm him down I replied. "Yeah, I told them this morning when I handed in my notice. I also sent them the emails so hopefully Laurens case will be thrown out."

Emmett knocked back back his champagne. "So am I keeping this to myself or can I mention it to people? Like Bella?" He smirked handing Edward the spare set of keys. I wondered why he just didn't give those to me instead of having a brand new set cut?

"Keep it to yourself for now, tell Bella by all means, but the parent's don't know yet." Edward answered making Emmett cringe slightly. Emmett knew the shit that had gone done with my parents, the thought of seeing my parents was making me feel slightly ill, it wouldn't be a pleasant sight.

"Sure.... Well, I left all the till print-outs and stuff in the office along with what's been banked. I'll catch you guys later, it's nice to have you back." He grinned picking up his car keys.

"See ya, Em." I said as I watched Emmett walk across the club floor with Edward so he could let him out and lock the doors again.

Smiling I leant back against the bar with my elbows resting on the dark wooden surface. My eyes cast around the club, the club I had watched Edward create with his own two hands, very talented hands at that. He wanted me to run this place with him, to be part of the whole scene. Knowing his trust issues from his past and seeing him offer me this really showed just how much he was trying to overcome them and trust me fully. I would never hurt him like that, I wasn't interested in what he had in the bank, he knew this. In all the years I had known him I think I have only ever taken about three things from him, none of them were anything important, stupid things like his last bottle of beer or the wine gums he had been hiding from us. He knew he could leave bank details, credit cards, cash lying around and I would never touch it, move it if it's in the way but never take it.

Seeing him walk towards me I couldn't help but smile and pick up the bottle of champagne and our glasses and walk towards him, meeting him in the middle of the dance floor. His smooth plump lips met mine gently, softly, lovingly. Looking into his eyes all I saw was love in them, his love radiated off him, through ever pour in his body it ran out and projected itself on me. "Shell we go into the office?" I asked walking past him and towards the stairs that lead to the office.

"Are you going to open the door, baby?" His husky voice whispered in my ear as his sweet breath washed over the exposed skin on my neck. A soft moan escaped my mouth as I felt his rock hard cock press into my ass.

My mind filled with the time he had fucked me over the desk and judging his hard cock now pressed firmly into me he was thinking about the very same thing as me. Unlocking the door to the office and walking in I placed my glass on the desk before taking the bottle of champagne and glass off Edward and placing them next to mine. Taking Edward's hands in mine I walked him around the front of the desk making him lean against it. My hands ran down his neck and off his shoulders. "I love you." I whispered before capturing his lips with mine. His tongue trailed against my bottom lips wanting me to open mine. Lacing my fingers through his silky hair I opened my mouth to him, letting his tongue explore my mouth, our tongues danced together. Feeling the roughness of his against mine while I tasted him, it was heaven. Fisting my fingers tightly in his hair as his hands gripped tightly against my ass, I moaned into his mouth before breaking the kiss and working my way down his long neck. Nibbling against his skin caused him to growl at me, turning me on even more.

My fingers tugged slightly at the hem of his T-shirt before slipping up under the fabric. Running my fingers over his hard muscled chest and over his nipples Edward's breathing became ragged and hard. His muscles contracted in his stomach as my fingers ran over his abs lightly, feeling every hard beautiful muscle underneath his warm soft skin. My fingers ran across the waistband of his jeans teasing him while my mouth attacked his again. Popping the button on his jeans and pulling his fly down Edward moaned softly into the kiss. My lips left his as I dropped to my knees and let my thumbs hook the the waistband of both his jeans and boxers. Tugging them I looked up and into his dark green eyes that were lust-filled and slightly hooded.

He lifted his ass up allowing me to pull down his jeans and letting his gorgeous cock spring free from its confinements. "Beautiful." I breathed out in a whisper over the tip of his cock, letting my hot breath coat the sensitive head creating it to twitch in my face. Running the very tip of my tongue from the base of his cock to the tip made Edward moan, a shiver ran through his body as I swirled my tongue over his head, letting the ball on my tongue press into his hot hard sensitive head. Knowing how much he loved the ball on my tongue I ran the flat of my tongue again up his shaft and pressed it firmly against his cock.

Taking just his head into my mouth I sucked and swirled my tongue around flicking the underneath of my tongue ball against his slit. I moaned as I tasted him on my tongue, realising just how much I loved his pure taste. Releasing him from my mouth I licked my lips while looking at him, his chest was moving hard as he sucked in rough ragged breaths of air, giving him a wink my lips covered his head again. Sliding my way down his beautiful cock until I couldn't go any further I brought my lips back up his shaft letting my tongue ball run gently across his pulsating cock until I reached the tip. Sucking my cheeks in creating a suction I went back down, I breathed and relaxed my throat a little more letting me take him further into my hot wet wanting mouth.

"Jasper..... Baby..... So....... Good." He moaned out in breathless pleas of nothing more than whispers. Bobbing my head up and down his cock slowly I worshiped every inch of him, relishing in the feel of his smooth tight skin covering his rock hard cock that twitched and throbbed in my mouth. Why had I been in denial for so long? At the very start of us, of this, why did I push him away and hurt him? He was so fucking beautiful and I loved every inch of him, every part of him. I craved him so badly and yet at the start I had been so very stupid, letting the world decide for me how I should act to this new strange information that suddenly found itself in my lap.

Right now there wasn't anything greater than feeling his cock in my mouth as I worshipped him. Bringing my lips back down his length I relaxed my throat muscles a little more and went slowly down until I felt the soft short curls of his bronze hair tickle my nose. I wanted to smile feeling proud that I had finally taken all of him in my mouth as he had done to me so many times before. Holding him there I hummed remembering what it felt like when I was at the back of his throat when he did it to me. "Fuck... Jazz!" He cried out as his fingers went into my hair.

Bringing my lips back up this thick long cock I grazed my teeth gently against him eliciting a wonderful sound from him that made my own cock throb a little more in my pants.

Swirling my tongue around his head and flicking against his slit Edward's hips bucked and jerked thrusting himself further into my mouth. Complying with what he wanted I picked my pace up, bobbing my head up and down his beautiful cock, letting my tongue ball rub against his skin, making him make the sexiest noises I have ever heard. Hollowing my cheeks and sucking hard I moved faster and faster on his length. Bringing one hand and wrapping it around the base of his shaft I began to stroke the remains of his cock that wasn't in my mouth, adding a little twist and flick of the wrist every now and then. My other hand played with his balls, rolling them round my fingers, adding a gentle squeeze and tug. His fingers tightened in my hair, his cock twitched in my mouth and I sucked harder knowing he was about to come.

"Baby!" He cried out as his hot cum filled and hit the back of my throat. Swallowing around him I drank his nectar, loving the taste on my tongue that was just pure him. Releasing his now softening cock from my mouth, I placed a loving kiss on it before standing and looking at the beautiful man I had fallen in love with. His brow was covered in a thin layer of sweat, his cheeks were flushed slightly giving a wonderful pinkish colour to his otherwise pale skin. His smouldering green eyes harboured love and devotion in them, his red plump lips were parted as his breathing slowed down and he calmed from his orgasm. My lips slowly met his slightly open mouth, my tongue slipped through his lips letting him taste himself on my tongue. Wrapping my arms around his neck I pulled back from the kiss to look at him, he smiled lovingly at me.

"I love you." I whispered out giving him a cherishing kiss on the lips. His hands went to the waistband of my jeans, his fingers pulled at the button going to open it but my hands stopped his. He pulled back looking at me questioningly, wondering why I had stopped him from pleasuring me.

"Why, baby?" His husky voice whispered out. Placing a gentle kiss just once on his lips before moving away from him I smiled.

"That was just for you, I'm fine. I just wanted to please you and I did. I even managed to deep throat you." I was a little smug over my latest achievement. He chuckled and pulled up his jeans looking at me the whole time before picking up his champagne glass.

"You did indeed, have to say how much I love your tongue ball." He sat back on the desk holding his glass in his hands, he looked down at it and chuckled slightly before holding his hand out to me. Taking his hand and allowing him to pull me closer to him I felt the electric tingles run up and down my arm. "In fact, I just love you." He smiled at me with his mouth slightly open.

"Edward?" My voice came out a little low, almost as if I was afraid to ask him for fear of how he might answer, how he might take this the wrong way and not want to go now.

"Yeah?" He said pushing my chin up with his fingers. "What's on your mind, baby?" He kept my chin up with his fingers but my eyes dropped away. He sighed slightly, his breath hit and fanned my face. "You want to get it over with, don't you?" I nodded my head.

"Sorry, I... I just want to get it over with you know? I don't want to have it hanging around. We both know they aren't going to take it well, I just want to get it all over with and then we can move past it and just enjoy our lives together." I watched as he knocked back his glass of champagne.

"Come on then, let's get it over with." He ran his long white fingers through his bronze messy hair. Standing from the desk he rubbed his fingers over my knuckles. "Don't worry, okay?"

We walked out of the club locking the club doors before heading towards the car. I was slightly worried how Edward might handle this, he didn't have the best control of his temper and the thought that he actually might hit my dad if he was provoked was in the forefront of my mind. Edward had already shown his temper when it came to me, how he wouldn't allow me to get by anyone. I guess anyone also included my parents as well. Even though my parents had been complete wankers towards me I didn't want Edward to hit my dad, though I might.

"Edward, please try and keep your temper under control.... they are my parents." He looked at me and chuckled running the tip of his thumb under his bottom lips before bringing it back to rest on top of the gear stick.

"I will or I'll at least try to, but I won't stand there and let them tear you apart." I sighed knowing that was the best answer I was going to get from him.

Edward knew my weakness was my parents and if anything could tear me part it was them. Even though they had disowned me and done nothing but bring trouble to our door they were still my parents and I still cared for them even though I knew I shouldn't. Over the weeks and months since they found out about Edward and me, I had tried to harden myself up to them, tried to stop them from getting under my skin, and while I was getting better at not letting them disowning me bother me, it still hurt.

We pulled outside the house, my old childhood home. A place I had spent years of my life growing up and finding myself. I used to love coming home, nothing was like coming back to your childhood home and just relaxing in a place that you knew so well, now though? Now I hated the place, my last memory of this place was from New Year's Eve when Alice had kindly informed my parents about my relationship with Edward which resulted in a agrument and me being thrown out of what was once my home.

Looking out of the window towards the house I saw my dad's car on the drive. Inwardly I groaned knowing he was here, I wanted them both to be here to get this over and done with, but knowing my dad had more of a sharp tongue and seeing his car made me think twice about telling them now. Edward's hand laced though mine as he brought my hand to his lips, he gave my knuckles a loving kiss before looking at me.

"Ready?" He asked. I sucked in a deep breath and nodded my head at him before letting go of his hand and opening the door.

Taking hold of his hand in mine we walked towards the front door. My nerves were giving out the closer we got and I could feel my heart beating wildly in my chest. I sucked in a few more breaths trying to calm myself down as we reached the door. I looked at Edward and gave him a gentle kiss on his soft lips. "I love you." I whispered as I rang the doorbell.

The days of just walking in had long gone and it felt strange to stand here and ring the front door to the place I used to live. I heard the footsteps on the hardwood floor walk across the hallway towards the front door. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion, I could hear every sound, the grip of a hand on the metal handle, the clicking and turning of the bolts in the door, the slight squeak of the hinges as the door began to open. Suddenly the door was open and there stood my mother a red swollen mark on her cheek, she blinked and looked at Edward and me. I wondered how she had received that mark on her face, it looked like she had been slapped, but my mother wasn't that type of person to just randomly start fighting with someone. I doubted she had ever had a fight in her life.

"Mum." My voice came out stronger than I thought it would as her eyes flickered between Edward and I.

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_ Oooh so who has hit Jasper's mum? _

_Hasn't Jasper really grown in the relationship?_

_Please hit the review button and send me some love, reviews are like hugs when your ill and I could do with a few._

_Jen x  
_


	28. Chapter 28

_**AN/ Well this is just like the old times, isn't it? Updating two days on the bounce.**_

_**I was going to hold this chapter back as FFN is in total fail sending out updates, so I hope you guys do find this chapter one way or another. **_

_**No one guessed who slapped Jasper's mum, I was chuckling my way through all the reviews, you were all wrong by the way. hehe.**_

**_Thank you to everyone who reviewed yesterday's chaper, it really does mean a lot to me, and I love reading them._**

_**Thanks to my wonderful Beta Amy, who is just a complete star.**_

_**Here's chapter 28!  
**_

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_**EPOV**_

__Jasper stood next to me arguing with his parents. His mother continued to tell him how she had been attacked in the middle of the supermarket. His father was turning redder by the second as he continued to shout towards Jasper and myself. I was too amused to reply to anything just yet, the words were still ringing around my head. My own mother had backhanded Jasper's mother in the middle of the supermarket two days ago. From my own experience of feeling the back of my mother's hand as a boy I knew it fucking hurt and she had been gentle towards me, to Jasper's mother she had used her full force to slap the bitch. I was unbelievably proud of my mum, though the events of the day were a little clouded I knew my mum would have had a good reason to lash out like that.

"We didn't come here to fight." Jasper stressed at his parent's.

"No, you came here to tell us you're marrying him. HIM! Just what the hell has got into you? Have you not seen your mother's face?" His father shouted, a small chuckle escaped my lips. They were still banging on about the same thing, wasn't it time to just get over it now? "And just what are you laughing at?" His father shouted just inches from my face.

"Are you ever going to let it drop? Or just continue the way you are now? Your son is happy, happy with me. Can't you understand that or are you just too pigheaded that the thought of your son being happy just disgusts you?" I squeezed Jasper's hand in mine even tighter.

"You're damn right it disgusts me, it disgusts me that my son went from straight to suddenly gay after you tried it on with him." His father screamed, I could see the veins in his neck and forehead pressing against his bright red skin.

"I'm not gay! I don't have any other interest in other men other than Edward! And for your information I tried it on with him, I was the one that came on to him, not the other way around and it was me who asked him to marry me. So get your fucking facts straight before you start throwing around these accusations." My heart swelled hearing Jasper defend us, he was standing strong against his parents, and even though I knew it was tearing him apart inside I couldn't help but be proud of him.

"Just get out! The pair of you fucking fags, you've told us about your upcoming marriage, now get out and don't you ever step foot in my home again." His father pointed towards the front door. "When he lashes out just like his mother did don't come crying back here, as far as we're concerned you're no longer our son." Jasper shocked me by laughing in his father's face.

"You're disowning me? Well good, and don't worry I won't be back. I would sooner be branded a fag by my parents than live my life without Edward. Let's go." Jasper pulled me by the hand out of the house. His whole body was shaking from anger as we reached the car.

Getting in I tried not to laugh over the fact that my mum had hit Jasper's, I would have loved to have seen it happen. The full story from Jasper's mother consisted of my mum just randomly hitting her in the middle of the supermarket. I already knew that wasn't true, words would have been said, mother just didn't randomly go around hitting people, she wasn't a violent person like that.

Looking at Jasper his eyes were closed as he sucked in a couple of hard breaths. I touched his cheek wanting to comfort him, his body turned and he leant over to hug me. My arms tightened around him holding him close to me, rubbing his back gently. I expected to hear sobs from him, but instead I heard his soft chuckle against my shoulder. "Your mum hit mine." He chuckled out making me smile. He lifted his head from my shoulder and looked at me, his light blue eyes held a mixture of love and pain in them before he closed them and captured his lips with mine.

"You're all I want." He whispered out resting his forehead against mine while rubbing his thumb against the nape of my neck. "I only want you." His voice shook slightly as I tightened my hold on him.

"I know you do and you have me. I'm right here, baby." My voice was nothing more than a whisper to him while I held him close letting him know he was loved.

"Do you want to go to your parents and tell them our news?" He asked pulling away from my arms, I missed the feel of him in them right away, my arms ached to have him back in them. "I kind of want to find out the whole story and it would be nice to hear at least one set of parents happy for us." He smiled weakly at me running his fingertips down my arm and over my engagement ring.

"If that's what you want to do then we will." Turning the engine and pulling the car into gear we set off towards my parent's who only happened to live all of twenty minutes away from Jasper's. His hand rested on top of mine on the gear stick, he looked relaxed at the moment but I knew come later on he would break down over his parents.

"They will be happy, won't they?" He asked as we pulled up outside my parents. Taking his hand in mine I kissed it before rubbing my thumb over his ring and smiling at him.

"Jazz, my mum hit yours, I think it's safe to say that she will be happy along with my dad." I let go of his hand and opened the car door letting it slam behind me. Jasper got out a few seconds later and came right to me grabbing hold of my hand tightly in his. "Don't worry, my parents will be thrilled." I kissed his cheek before walking towards the door.

Opening the front door I pulled Jasper inside, I could hear both my mother and father talking in the living room. Giving Jasper's hand a firm reassuring squeeze I led him to where my parents were. Jasper's fingers fidgeted in mine, gripping my hand and releasing it every couple of seconds. I knew he was nervous as hell coming here, even though my parents knew about us being together and they were happy for us we still hadn't been round, this would be the first time we had been here as a couple.

"Mum, Dad." I called as I pushed the living room door open a little wider. I felt Jasper push closer to me, almost as though he was hiding behind me. I chuckled slightly under my breath as my eyes fell on both my parents sitting on the sofa together, some old film was playing on the TV as they relived their youth.

"Edward..... what are you doing here?" My dad asked. Yeah, I guess me just turning up unannounced wasn't the normal thing for me to do. "Jasper?" My dad asked turning his head slightly to see Jasper hiding behind me.

"Hi." He squeaked out moving just a fraction into their view.

"Did you boys have a nice time in Paris?" My mum asked looking at us both with soft loving eyes, I felt Jasper relax slightly behind me as we moved towards the other sofa.

"Yeah, we did.... Um, mum, care to tell us why the back of your hand connected to Jasper's mum's cheek?" The amusement wasn't hard to spot in my voice, I had found it rather satisfying to hear that bitch had gotten slapped, and considering it was by my own mother was even better.

My mum looked a little embarrassed as she looked at Jasper and then to the floor. Jasper grinned widely as though he wasn't bothered by my mum's outburst.

"It's okay, Esme. I know you must have had good reason, though my mum says you just hit her for no reason. I don't believe that." My dad snorted at Jasper's comments. I wanted to laugh too, my dad had clearly been there as well, I wonder if it was a full family showdown? Parents against parents?

"No, Jasper, I didn't just hit her, but I am sorry that I hit your mum. Despite what may have been said she is your mother and I shouldn't have done that." Esme flicked her bronze hair off her shoulder and looked at myself and Jasper.

"It's seems that Jasper's parents haven't taken the news well about him seeing Edward. She had no right to stand there and shoot her mouth off because we support your choice of lifestyle." I had forgotten that my parents weren't fully in the know of how Jasper's parents had reacted to him being with me.

"That's an understatement, dad. They have disowned Jasper for it, calling him and me every name under the sun." Jasper's hand trailed the back of mine lightly and without thinking I turned my palm over as his fingers slipped between mine.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Jasper. Your mother took great pleasure in telling me how I had failed to raise my child, that I should have had him straightened out when he told us he was gay, at least that way her son wouldn't have been turned into a fag and lost every ounce of self-respect he had. She blamed Edward for losing her son to the devil and she said I should be ashamed of myself for being happy for my son no matter what lifestyle he chooses. She felt that by Edward being gay and now Jasper that she was bound to lose her son to something like AIDS and I was happy about it." My mum took a deep breath.

"I lost my temper at her final remark and lashed out. Jasper, I'm so sorry that your parent's are being this way with you. It's not right or fair for you to have to suffer this sort of a abuse from your own parent's, it makes me sick." She huffed slightly trying to calm herself down. I was so fortunate to have them, for them to be so understanding and supportive when Jasper's parents had just disowned him.

"It's okay." Jasper's voice shook slightly, the events were catching up to him. I squeezed his hand a little tighter trying to reassure him.

"It's not okay, Jasper. You shouldn't have to deal with that sort of response from your parents. Just know that not everyone thinks that way and know that you are always welcome in our home." My dad handed us a bottle of beer each, as I moved to take the bottle from him his eye caught my ring. "What's this?" He asked taking my hand and looking at the gold band with black diamonds in it.

"Umm..... that....... Jasper asked me to marry him when we were in Paris." Why was I suddenly feeling nervous about telling them this? My mother gasped putting her hand over her mouth.

"Married?...... You're getting married?" She asked moving towards us and looking at my ring. "Do you have one, Jasper?" She asked searching his hands until she spotted his platinum band. "Oh they're gorgeous, congratulations!" She actually clapped as her eyes became awash with tears. "When are you two going to tie the knot? Oh, it will be beautiful. I can see it now already."

"Slow down, dear, they have only just got engaged. I'm very happy for you boys. Welcome to the family, Jasper." My dad shook Jasper's hand while my mum just smiled with tears in her eyes. "Have you boys thought of anything to do with getting married?" My father asked while sitting back down on the other sofa.

"Other than surnames we haven't really discussed it." I looked at Jasper whose face was drawn inwards, he looked so sad sitting here talking to my parents about our wedding. I knew this was something he wished he had with his own.

"Oh? And who is taking what?" My mother asked smiling. Jasper sucked in a shaky breath and released a deep sigh while closing his eyes.

"I'm taking his." I told them, Jasper shook his head slightly next to me. "What's wrong?" I whispered in his ear. He turned to look at me, his eyes carrying so much pain in them, his lip trembled slightly as he shrugged at me. Pulling him into my arms I felt his body tremble in my arms. "Jazz, baby." I soothed in his ear while rubbing his back.

"I'm okay... it's just a little overwhelming." He kissed my neck and I had to fight hard not to let the shiver run through me. "Shall we tell them about the business?" He asked pulling back from me with a soft smile on his lips, I nodded and gave him kiss on his soft lips.

"Aw, they're so in love." Jasper flushed slightly, setting a wonderful light pink tint to his sun-kissed skin. I smiled lovingly at him letting my mother's comments slide for now.

"There is more." Breaking my eyes away from Jasper's to look at my parents I said "Jasper handed in his notice at work this morning, he received a letter saying they had suspended him for sexual harassment towards this bitch called Lauren, which is untrue. Anyway, he went in and handed in his notice giving his bosses the emails he has received since he got with me that were nasty. I offered him to come into business with me at the club and he accepted the offer." They fell silent for a moment while they took in this information before looking at each other.

"Well, I guess it makes some sense that you two go into a business partnership together, you are after all getting married." My father said. "Hope that goes well for you both." I was waiting for more to be added, I wondered if they would bring it up in front of Jasper? He knew about Tyler, about the money he stole from me, the financial ruin I was put in.

"Edward...." My mother started and stopped when she caught my dad looking at her with a warning glance. Yeah, there was more to this, they just didn't want to say anything while Jasper was with me.

"It' okay to voice your views, Jasper knows about the financial ruin I was put in, he also knows you bailed me out." I took hold of Jasper's hand enjoying the feeling of his hand being in mine and noticing how it fit perfectly.

"Sorry, but you are going to draw up contracts I take it? No offense, Jasper, and I hardly doubt you would do such a thing, but you can understand where we are coming from, can't you?" She asked looking at Jasper.

"Of course I know and understand where you're coming from, and I fully agree that a contract should be drawn up. Edward is the one that has poured all his money into it, it's only fair. But I never would do anything like that to Edward, you have my word." He squeezed my hand tightly looking at me with his loving blue eyes. "I love you too much to ever do anything like that." He whispered in my ear before giving me a kiss on the cheek. My heart soared, I knew he never would, I trusted him completely.

"Well, that's good then. I'm happy for you both." My parents smiled and looked at each other, the loving look in there eyes made my stomach turn slightly. They're my parents, I don't want that sort of mental picture in my head.

"It's been a crazy day, we're gonna shoot off. I'll call soon, okay? And we'll come round one Sunday for dinner." Standing up and hugging my parents goodbye, I watched as my mum hugged Jasper and whispered something in his ear to which he smiled and nodded to. That better not have been the 'take care of my son' line.

After what seemed like forever we finally made it back home. Jasper had been quiet all the way back home, his head was resting against the passenger window all the way, he hardly said two words to me. His mood was shifting with each passing second. I hated it. Hated seeing him like this knowing that this was because of his parents today. I wanted to see him smile, I wanted him to be happy, but I knew I was being selfish with wanting these things. His parents had screamed that they had disowned him once again, that hurt to have to hear them be like this. It hurt to see him suffer because his parents just couldn't be happy for him being with me.

"Jazz..." He leant against the wall in the hallway as I closed the front door, his eyes closed and he let out a long sigh rubbing his forehead. His eyes screwed even tighter shut as his tears slipped through them.

"They're never going to welcome this are they?" He sobbed out. Moving closer to him I pulled him into my arms. "I just feel alone." He gripped me tighter as his tears continued to flow.

"You're not alone, baby. I'm here, right here. I'm not going anywhere." I whispered soothing words to him while he sobbed.

"I need you.... I need to feel your love........ I feel so unloved right now." His lips trailed kisses down my neck before moving across my jaw and capturing his lips with mine. My hands wound into his soft golden curls pulling him closer to me as our tongues danced together. "Please." He whispered, our mouths broke apart needing air. Smiling and biting my bottom lip I took his hand and led him upstairs to my bedroom.

"You know we really should think about us sharing the same bedroom." He murmured out as my hands pulled up his T-shirt. Pushing him back on the bed and crawling over him, my lips placed kisses all over his chest.

"We should." I said before I sank my teeth into his hip bone making him moan. Trailing my mouth up his chest until I reached his nipple ring, my tongue flicked against it before taking it in my mouth and pulling it gently. His hands were in my hair tugging it hard and pulling me to his awaiting mouth.

Our lips moved together as our hands worked on removing items of clothing. My hands roamed down his gorgeous body, trailing them down his abs until I reached his throbbing cock. Gripping it in my hand I stroked him slowly while kissing and sucking on his neck. Jasper arched his back moaning loudly, creating the most wonderful sounds that were music to my ears. "I need you now." He pleaded out in breathless moans. Smiling against his neck before giving him a loving kiss on the lips I broke apart from him causing him to whimper. Opening the bedside drawer I pulled out a condom and the bottle of lube. Looking at them in my hands I looked back at Jasper who was laying on his side looking at me.

His lust-filled hooded eyes ran over my body as a sexy smile sat on his lips. "Here." I said passing them to him, he took them off me and looked at them before back at me his eyes full of questions. "I want to, Jazz. I want to feel you." I moved back onto the bed and closer to him.

"But you have always said... I mean, I don't want you to feel as though you have to." I smiled and ran my fingers along the sides of his face stopping at his chin and pulling him closer to me to give him a kiss.

"I want to. Jazz, I have been thinking about it. I love you, I trust you completely and I'm willing put myself in your hands. I don't want to hold anything back from you, I want you to have me completely, the way no other man has before." Taking his hands in mine and squeezing them I continued. "I want you to know that you will always have me, that you're never alone in anything despite what the outside world does to you. I will always be by your side." Jasper looked back at me a little shocked, his eyes still carrying so many questions in them.

"If your sure?" I nodded as he grinned widely at me. "I won't hurt you, I promise. I will be gentle, okay?" As his lips captured mine fear ran through me. I hadn't done this before, I had always said I would never do it, never allow anyone to have that control over me. But looking at him tonight, seeing him so sad, so hurt and rejected from his parents, something inside of me changed and I wanted him to have me, all of me.

He pushed me back on the bed his eyes holding nothing but love in them as he moved in between my legs. His eyes stayed locked with mine as I heard the click of lube bottle opening, he pulled my legs and placed the backs of my thighs over his. "I want to see you, for you to know it's me." I smiled slightly trying to relax as I felt his warm slick finger circle my entrance. His gentle loving touch was putting me at ease, this was Jasper, he wouldn't hurt me, I trusted him. I felt his finger push into me, past my muscles. I shut my eyes trying to relax as I sucked in a few ragged breaths. "Edward.... Baby, open your eyes and look at me." Hearing his soft loving voice call me I opened my eyes to see him inches from my face. "Relax, babe." His lips met mine once before he pulled back and looked at me with a loving smile.

Slowly he began to move his finger in and out of me once I relaxed. The first finger didn't feel too bad, it wasn't as painful as I thought it might have been. I suddenly felt a second finger being pushed in which caused me to moan in slight pain, he stopped and waited as I breathed relaxing my muscles and allowed him to continue. Gently his fingers thrust in and out of me, stretching me for him. "I love you." He whispered out as he pushed in a third finger. Pain hit me as I tried to relax and breath, I bit my bottom lip screwing my face up trying to get used to it.

I kept telling myself that I was fine, that I trusted Jasper completely, that I wanted this. I did want this, I wanted nothing more than for him to claim me fully as his as I had done to him. I knew this was making Jasper happy, he had wanted this for a while and I was happy to be finally giving him this.

The pain started to go and I found myself enjoying the sensation of feeling his fingers in my ass. Moving my hips against his fingers letting him know I was ready he kissed my chest before pulling his fingers out. I watched as he rolled the condom down his long thick cock adding some lube and stroking himself a few times before pulling my legs around his waist. Positioning himself at my entrance he looked at me making sure it was still alright. "I want this, bunny." I smiled at him as he pushed against me. Biting my bottom lip as he pushed his head past my tight wall muscles he stopped and waited for me. I took a few deep breaths feeling a slight burning pain as I tried to relax. Jasper's eyes never left mine as he hovered above me, nodding slightly at him he pushed a little more in.

"You okay?" He asked as my breathing became heavy, I nodded at him wanting him to carry on. "You sure?" I tightened my grip around his waist digging my heels into ass. He slowly moved in and out, going a little further with each slow thrust. His eyes never left mine the whole time as his soft movements continued until he was fully in me. "Fuck.... you feel.... so good." He moaned out as his eyes rolled into the back of his head.

Closing my eyes I felt a tear roll down my cheek, the pain was subsiding slowly as his gentle movements continued to rock into me. His lips suddenly kissed my cheek. "The pain will go, babe, relax and enjoy. Let me show you how you make me feel every time we make love." He whispered in my ear before capturing my lips with his.

Opening my eyes I saw the love he held for me pouring out of him, causing me to relax even more. He thrust a little harder into me and I moaned loudly feeling a new sensation run through me as he hit my sweet spot. The pain all but disappeared and in its place was nothing but pleasure. My hands ran up his arms feeling his hard muscles underneath my fingertips, then they reached his face bringing it to me and crashing my lips hard against his. My hips moved meeting his thrusts, my cock was trapped between our stomachs, rubbing against our skins as he continued to hit my sweet spot.

My mind was consumed with nothing but love for Jasper, my body was overtaken by sheer pleasure. My back was arching off the bed with every thrusting movement as he picked his pace up. Jasper seemed to know what I wanted, I wanted more of him and he was happily giving it to me. He continued to slam harder and faster into me as we both climbed towards our euphoric high.

"Baby....... fuck." I cried out loudly as he hit my sweet spot over and over again. My body crashed with sheer pleasure overload as my orgasm crashed through me, my back arched high off the bed as I saw stars in my eyes. I was completely overcome by the power of it, letting the man I love have me like this added to the extra thrill of my high.

Jasper's thrusts became frantic as his orgasm neared closer to him. Looking at him, his face covered in full pleasure as his orgasm overtook him, he looked so beautiful as my name fell in breathless whispers off his lips as he came hard. He collapsed breathlessly on top of me wrapping his arms around me. I was unbelievably happy right now knowing that he had all of me, that nothing was held back from him now. My arms wrapped tightly around him holding him closer to me. "Thank you." He whispered out as he lifted his head off my shoulder and gave me a kiss. I smiled widely at him.

"No, thank you." He grinned at me as he pulled out. I missed him right away, missed his body on top of mine, missed him being in me. He disappeared into the bathroom for a second coming back moments later with a warm wash cloth. He gently cleaned me up with his loving hands. "I love you." I don't think I had ever said those words and meant them as much as I did right now.

"I love you too, babe." He disappeared out of the bedroom with a loving smile. I crawled under the covers wincing slightly but loving it at the same time, as I waited for my gorgeous bunny to return. "So.... did you enjoy it? Now that I have taken your cherry." I chuckled as he climbed in next to me, laying on our sides and facing each other.

"Yes, one of the best things in the world. I'm glad I gave it to you." I leant forward and gently brushed my lips with his. "You know Emmett loves me now and you as well considering the club is half yours."

"Why?" He asked. I rolled my eyes at him surely he hadn't forgotten, had he?

"The fact that we arrived back take the keys off him, and then that same night I ask Emmett to cover for us again." Jasper laughed and curled into my chest.

"Yeah... I'm sure he will get over it." He lifted his head and kissed me. "Though I am looking....... oh fuck off." Jasper moaned out as his phone suddenly sprang into life. He groaned and got out of the bed to answer it. "It's Rose." He rolled his eyes and answered the phone.

I watched as the colour drained from his face, his eyes went wide as he looked at me. "Yeah..... I'm on my way." He hung up.

"Jazz? What's wrong?" He suddenly sucked in a deep breath like he had forgotten to breath, his body shook slightly as the colour continued to drain from his beautiful face.

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_**I know, I know I did it again, but you all love me right?**_

_**I'm sure that most of you will be happy with the events that took place in this chapter.**_

_** so do you guys think you could hit the review button? **_

_**Jen x  
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	29. Chapter 29

_**AN/ **hello my lovelys, how are we all today? I did want this chapter up yesterday but because of FFn on fail I didn't rush to finish it, thankfully FFn has now sorted it's self out.....for how long who knows._

_Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, I know I left you all hanging again, twice on the bounce, but you love me right??_

_Thank you to my wonderful beta who works her magic on my chapters and sorts out my nasty grammer and makes it all nice and lovely._

_Yes most of you got it right about the call, hehe, nasty Jen not letting the boys have any nice time.....I love my drama :)_

_Here's 29!  
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_**JPOV**_

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How had my night suddenly taken a turn for the worse?

One minute I was happy, unbelievably happy. Edward had bottomed for me. On a night when I had felt so alone.... so unloved thanks to my parents, he had given himself over to me. Knowing that I was the only man that had ever had him like that was great, it felt so special, the fact that he trusted me enough, loved me enough to let me have him how I had craved him so many times before. He healed me tonight, made me feel safe and loved, completely loved by him. He was by my side no matter who or what tried to bring me down, he was there; but my happy, loving, wonderful mood crashed within seconds of picking up my phone.

Everything crashed as I heard her words run through my ear and around my head. I could see Edward's concerned face moving closer to me, but I couldn't move. I couldn't bring the words out of my mouth to tell him. His hands held my face as the tears slowly slipped out and rolled down my face, all I could do was stare at him.

"Jazz? Jazz, what's wrong?" He asked pulling me closer to him, engulfing me in his strong loving arms, the tears continued to fall. I needed to move, I needed to go yet I couldn't move. The strength to pull away from his arms and go to where I needed to be, I just couldn't find.

"My dad..." I choked out burying my face into the crook of his neck. "He....he's had a heart attack." I sobbed out holding him tighter to me.

"Jazz, come on." He pulled me out of his arms while I was crying like a baby. Part of me wondered just why I was acting like this, why I was letting his heart attack affect me, they had disowned me. Again today they told me that they didn't want me in their lives, that I was no longer part of their family, so why was I crying like this?

"Put these on, Jazz." Edward handed me a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, I took them off him and didn't even attempt to put them on. I wanted to go, I wanted to see my dad, even through everything that had happened, and all that had been said he was still my dad, I still loved him. "Baby, get dressed. I'll drive you to the hospital." He stroked my cheek softy, looking at me intently holding so many feelings in his eyes.

I moved slowly, or what seemed like I was. I don't recall everything that happened from getting dressed to walking down the stairs to heading to the car. All that I remember clearly was his arms around me, holding me close to him as we walked to the car. He whispered words in my ear but nothing was sticking, nothing was really going in, all I could do was hold him closer to me.

"I don't want him to die...... I don't want my last words to him to be those I said today." Edward squeezed my hand tighter as he drove towards the hospital.

"He'll make it." He soothed me. "Do they know you're on your way?" I sighed and wiped my face. I had no idea if Rose had told them I was coming, I didn't know if Rose had even said that she had called me.

"I don't know, other than Rose knowing." My voice shook as I spoke. "He'll be alright, won't he?" I had mumbled this question a few times, I needed to hear it again and again, needed someone to tell me he was going to pull through.

"I don't know, baby. I will hunt my dad down when we get there, he's working tonight and I'll see what I can find out for you, okay?" Nodding my head I moved my hand to his thigh, I needed to be close to him, needed to feel him there for me.

We pulled into the hospital car park, my heart was beating wildly in my chest as I got out and slammed the door shut. Edward was by my side in seconds holding my hand tightly in his as we walked through the hospital. Heading towards where Rose had told me they were I could already hear the shouting coming from the family room. Deciding not to stop outside the door to see what they were on about it I pushed the door open to see my mother standing over Rose who was sitting holding her forehead in her hands.

"Oh no, not you.... you put him in here, get out!" My mother screamed at me as she saw us walk through the door.

"I have a right to be here, he's my dad." Even with one of my parents seriously ill I was still getting this shit, though I knew that coming here would only bring out more of this abuse from her. How could she actually blame me for my father having a heart attack?

"You come here and you bring him? Him. The sole reason for the family rift and yet you stole in here like it's the most normal thing in the world to do. He could die, Jasper! If he dies, it's all your fault, you pushed him with your nonsense of seeing out this stupid relationship." The sobs ripped through me again as Edward squeezed my hand even tighter, before I got a chance to say anything back Rose's head snapped up.

"Oh, will you shut up! Jesus mother, Edward is his boyfriend he's bound to bring him in his time of need. Will you let it fucking drop already? God, dad is laying out there in god only knows what condition and all you can care about is the fact that your son now likes to take it up the ass, get the fuck over it, and get your priorities in order." Rose screamed. My mother's face was a picture, I don't think Rose had ever shouted at her like that.

"Don't you dare speak to me like that, young lady. I'm your mother and I won't be disrespected by you like this." Rose Laughed and stood flicking her blonde hair back.

"But you will disrespect Jasper and Edward like this? No wonder Esme slapped you, you bloody well deserved it. Just what has Jasper actually done to get this sort of treatment from you and dad? Nothing. He fell in love with another man, so what? It's not something that gets swept under the carpet nowadays, let it go." Rose paced he floor waiting for my mother's next round to kick in. She wasn't likely to give in now and let it lie, she would have to have the last word.

Could she not see that I was upset over my father's heart attack? I may have told them that I was happy they disowned me, that I would sooner have Edward, which is one hundred percent true. I still didn't want to see my father in here ill after having a heart attack. The rift in the family had torn my insides up, made me feel worthless and nothing short of a disappointment, and for what? Because I got together and fell in love with my best friend? In the last few weeks I had cried more times than I had in my entire life and it was all because my parents couldn't and wouldn't be happy for me.

Family was so important to me, it came above everything else in my life. Blood was meant to be thicker than water, but when everything blew up where was my blood? Where was my family when I was trying to figure everything out? Where were they when I was just getting to grips with my relationship with Edward? Fucking nowhere, disowning me and cutting me out of the will, having a go at me and tearing shreds off me, and yet Edward was there, all the time. Through all the shit that went off, or the harsh words, he was there, there for me, and yet even though all of this had happened and I should have just thought fuck it, I came. Knowing my father was seriously ill and on death's doorstep I came. Placing everything on the side and pushing every thought that told me not to away I came, because despite it all he's my dad. Though my mother couldn't see this.

All she saw was me being here was twisting that knife a little more, bringing her more pain. When did she become like this? When did my father become the way he is? My parent's had always been kind and loving, they weren't bad people, or so I thought. They loved their children and tried to do the best for them, like any other parent on the planet does, so where did my lovable parents go? And when did they suddenly become people I no longer knew?

Doing something I didn't think she ever would do, my mother stood and walked out of the room. Her hand over her mouth sobbing in painful tears as she came past Edward and I. Rose sat back down and ran her hands through her platinum blonde hair letting out a long sigh.

Edward's arms wrapped around my waist, his head on my shoulder with his face turned into my neck. His warm breath on my skin set a tingly feeling on my skin, as his lips kissed the skin on the curve of my neck a shiver ran down my spine. My hands rested on top of his as my head rolled back onto his shoulder, I suddenly felt drained as I relaxed into his arms, into my home.

"You okay?" He whispered into my ear so softly I doubted anyone else would have heard it, including Rose. I nodded my head and pulled his arms around me tighter not wanting him to let me go. "I'm going to go and hunt down my dad, see what I can find out. I won't be long." I turned in his arms to face him. His eyes carried so much concern and worry in them, but it was only for me. He didn't care what happened to my dad and I couldn't blame him for that, he only cared about me.

"Please don't be too long, I need you with me." I captured his lips with mine just once, trying not to become to clingy to him suddenly. I just needed him with everything going off with my dad and my mum, I just needed his constant love and support.

"I wont." He flashed me a smile and gave me a peck before breaking part from me. The door to the family room opened and closed as he left leaving me with just Rose. Sighing I sat down next to her and rested my head against the wall. I closed my eyes shutting out the stupidly bright light that ran across the ceiling, I picked up Rose's hand and gave it squeeze.

"Thanks Rose, for defending me against mum, but you don't have to fall out with her over me." My voice was rough as I spoke, all harsh and throaty thanks to my sobs.

"Don't be stupid, Jazz. You're my baby brother and I love you. Mum's being a complete and utter bitch and she knows it, as for dad.... well, they both need some sense smashed into them." She smiled at me with red rimmed eyes. "I never said congratulations to you for getting engaged to Edward. Let's see it then." I chuckled and showed her my ring. "It's gorgeous, Jazz."

"Thanks, and don't worry about the congrats, it's not like we have actually gotten round to telling you. I was going to come see you tomorrow, by the way." Rose smiled and wiped under her eyes.

"He loves you, doesn't he?" She asked while stroking the back of my hand. "Don't let this with our family come between you two, don't let it ruin what you two have, Jazz. I want to see my baby brother happy." I rested my head on her shoulder and let out a sigh. I felt so drained. Today had been an emotional roller-coaster ride, full of all lows but with one amazing high.

"I won't, Rose. I just hate that they won't accept the choice I've made, that I'm now being blamed for dad's heart attack. It feels as though it is my fault, that if I hadn't gotten with Edward then he wouldn't be in here right now, dealing with....... fuck knows what." The anger inside of me boiled and simmered away underneath. "How the hell is this my fault?" I shouted getting to my feet. "He's had health problems for years and yet I'm the one that gets blamed for this. I get rejected from the family and made to feel as though I am nothing but a disappointment, and somehow in all of this mess dad ending up in here has resulted in it being all my fault." My voice broke at the end as my anger disappeared out the window.

Rose wrapped her arms tightly around me as I slumped to the cold tiled floor sobbing on her shoulder. The last thing I wanted was to be blamed for this, even though I knew deep down that none of this was my fault, my mother's words would run around my head forevermore.

"None of this is your fault, Jazz." She soothed in my ear, rubbing small delicate circles. "I'm not agreeing with what mum said, but she is blowing off steam, she's upset and taking it out on you. Unfortunately, you are the number one guy to hate in our household right now. You know yourself that dad has had health problems for a while, him choosing to have a slagging match with you, shouting at the top of his lungs was his own doing. He brought it on himself, Jazz. Mum needs to accept that, just like she needs accept you and Edward." Shaking my head I pulled out of her embrace, she was never going to accept it, neither was dad, I was outcast.

They had time, plenty of time, just over two months in fact to get used to the idea of me being with Edward, but that hadn't done anything. The last two months had changed nothing in our fucked up little family, only their hatred had changed, it had grown into something viscous and it was all directed to me, their fucking son.

"If..... if he dies...." Stopping before I really started to talk I wiped my face and try and control my sobs. Rose still rubbed the small delicate on my back. "I don't want to lose my dad and be pushed to the side." Resting my wrist over my knees, my head dropped down letting my golden curls fall all over my face.

"He won't, don't think like that....he'll pull though, Jazz." I sighed as Rose rested her head on my shoulder. At least I had one member of my family still by my side.

We sat on the cold tiled floor for what seemed like hours, which was more minutes. My mother hadn't reappeared since she left the room and neither had Edward, I hoped that he hadn't run into her. He wasn't likely to hold his temper again, not after today's outburst from my mother and father.

Where was Edward? I needed him here with me. I needed to feel his arms around me making me feel safe and loved, I needed to feel my home.

The door pushed open, I didn't bother to look up. Somewhere in me told me that I didn't want to see the person there, see my mother coming back for a second round. My head stayed down as this person moved closer to me and bent down onto their knees, fingers tailed up my arms setting my skin on fire, the touch I craved for. Before I could even think about it I threw myself into his arms. My body knew my home was there in front of me even if my mind took a few minutes to catch up.

His arms wrapped tightly around me, my face buried into the crook of his neck. I sucked in huge gulps of his scent as though I had been struggling to breathe, or I had been cut off from air for hours. Gripping onto him tightly, pushing myself as close as humanly possible to him I started relax, letting his scent fill me, his arms hold me, and his love cover me.

Feeling his tight, iron grip around my weak broken form, his fingers trailed sweet gentle pattens on my back. His hot warm wet lips placed loving kisses on my neck, soothing me the best way possible, the best way I needed to be soothed.

"What.... what did you find out?" I croaked out, my voice was thick and harsh from all the crying I had done. Edward tried to pull back from me, but I gripped him even tighter digging my fingers into his sides.

"I'm not going anywhere, bunny, I just want to look at you." He whispered in my ear. Sliding back I let my hands run down his arms stopping at his wrists and held onto them. Edward sighed, his hot warm breath fanned my face as his smouldering green eyes stared at me holding so much compassion and love in them.

"I don't know a lot, my dad could only tell me bits, he needs to have a bypass. I don't know the details, but they are taking him down soon once he is stable enough." My grip on his wrists subsided as the news hit me hard. His hand overlapped mine letting his fingers fall through mine.

"A bypass?" My voice was nothing but a whisper. He nodded at me squeezing my fingers gently. "How... what sort... double...... triple....?" He shrugged his shoulders at me.

"I don't know, baby, my dad didn't say." I looked at Rose who just sat there eyes wide open, a blank expression on her face. "Rose?" Edward spoke to her. She moved her wide eyes towards him, I don't think she had even blinked. "I'm sorry.... My dad is talking to the surgeon, your mum kicked up about my dad operating on him, demanding that no man who spawned a diseased spreading fag should be allowed to operate on him." Rose's eyes glazed over, it was almost like you could see the red mist forming in her eyes.

"She said what? Where is she?" Rose screamed getting to her feet.

"Rose.... leave it. Our family doesn't need a fucking showdown in the middle of the hospital while dad is being operated on." She huffed at me and stared at the door. "Babe?" I touched Edward's arm, he looked at me and smiled. "Sorry." He chuckled and shook his head.

"Don't be, my dad brushed it off with a smile and a mutter of 'looks like you did too' remark." Chuckling slightly at his words I wondered just how fucked up my family must look to the passing public.

"Yeah, I guess they did." I leant forward and rested my forehead on his chest and held my hand towards Rose. "Save it for later, Rose." I heard her heels click against the floor as she turned.

"Jazz, are you sure we came from her? You know I thought most of this was all dad's doing, that mum was just tagging along, but now? God, they're both as bad as each other." Lifting my head off my lover's chest I watched as she sat down huffing. "I just can't believe she said that to Carlisle. God, Edward, what must you think of this family?" He rolled his eyes, I knew what he thought of them.

We had talked about it, laid it on the table. I had asked him to be honest and truthful no matter what, even if he thought it was disrespectful and that it may hurt me, I wanted to know the truth. And he told me. It was hard to hear some of the things he had said about them, but everything he said was right. I couldn't disagree with him. For him to keep it to himself right now and not tell Rose just what he thought of my family, when he had every right to, I was thankful for.

Moving off the cold hard floor and sitting down next to Edward I curled into his side, the minutes ticked by slowly while we waited for any news. We weren't even sure if he had gone down yet, if he was still on the ward while they waited to get him stable enough for his bypass. For all I knew he could be halfway through it by now, or only just starting. Edward had said he would hunt his dad down and find out what was happening, but I was unable to let him go, for him to leave my side right now. I would sooner not know than spend my time feeling cold and alone while I waited for him to return.

As time ticked on I thought about all the times I had shared with my dad, the good and the bad. My mind filled with the argument from today, the look on his face as he disowned me, the words I hit back with so full of venom and hate. Those were my last words to him before his heart attack, I didn't want them to be my last words forever. I wanted to fix the rift in the family, to repair the damage that had been caused over the last few months, to have my parent's back and for them to be supportive towards me. I knew to repair this damage my family, my parents would want me to say goodbye to Edward. That was out of the question. I wasn't going to let him go just have them back. I wasn't going to lose his love for me, the way he made me feel and the undying support he had just to repair and fix this rift.

I guess I was hoping that this scare would put things into perspective. Maybe my parents would see just how fucked up it all was and that they would realise once healed just how short life was and we could start to put the pieces back together. It was a small hope, a hope in hell if I am honest with myself, but people do the strangest things when they have a near death experience, could this be any closer to near death?

Life is far too short, and maybe I was willing to be the bigger person here and offer a chance to rebuild the bridge once again. Maybe I was being stupid to even think about it, but it in the early hours of the morning when you're sitting around in the hospital waiting for news you start to think, you realise things and think that this should be a chance to short everything out. I wasn't going to hold my door open forever, I would close it at one point in time if it was rejected, repeatably rejected. There was only so many times I could withstand to have something like that thrown back at me before I just gave up and cut all loses. Tonight was the final line, the last lifeline with everything that had happened, all the harsh words and tempers storming I would forget it all and offer to sort it out now with my father's life hanging the balance.

Curling tightly into his side, his hands ran up and down my back relaxing me as my eyes closed and my body gave out. Too tired to stay awake any longer, too tired to think anymore, I relaxed into my lover's arms knowing that he was there for me, just for me and no one else. Sleep overtook me while one last thought rang into my head.

The one thing I wouldn't give up, that I will not part with for the sake of having my parents back was Edward.

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_Doesn't Rose rock? Isn't J's Mum a complet a bitch? If your wondering why J's mum and dad don't have names, it's because I haven't thought of any._

_Well my lovely's, I know I have left you guessing as to what will happen with his dad,but at least there is now cliffie again._

_Please be kind and hit the review button, send me some love. Jen x_


	30. Chapter 30

_**AN****: A little late in the update today, FFn decided it didn't want to upload the chapter. Stupid site.  
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_**Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, I know I'm a complete fail with replying to them, I do try.**_

_**The story is almost over, can you believe it? There is about 3 more chapters to go then it's all done.  
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_**Here's chapter 30!  
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_**EPOV**_

Dawn was just starting to break outside as we lay in bed, me on my back with Jasper's head resting on the top of my stomach. His right hand trailed up and down my side as he pushed his face into my stomach every so often feeling the hot salty tears hit my stomach. My hands drew patterns on his shoulder blades and down his biceps, while he went through his bouts of sobs.

It had been two weeks since Jasper had received that call from Rose telling him his dad had a heart attack. The two weeks that followed had been nothing short of hell as families fought and argued over everything, mainly Jasper. Our relationship had been pushed to the brink because of it, the strain that had been inflicted upon it had made us both question if we would make it out of this mess. Tempers had flared and harsh words were used, as we were battered continuously and pushed to our last nerve we turned on each other, over stupid things.

The harshness of our fights were down to the pressure we both felt, as my family and myself took rip after rip of his mother's abuse, Jasper was feeling the wrath of her tongue directed to him. It was only a matter of time before we blew up at one another, having been pushed so far that we no longer saw just who we were fighting against. Thankfully the fights were burning on a low grounds and didn't last much longer than ten minutes before one of us came to our senses and calmed the other down, managing to pull back together and form a stronger bond.

Turning my head I looked at the clock wondering what a hell of day today was going to bring to us as we faced this together.

_Flashback_

_We slept on and off waiting for news on Jasper's dad. The floor had been paced more times than I cared to remember as the hours slowly ticked on. An hour was feeling almost like an eternity. Time seemed to go so slow, almost as though it wasn't moving at all. _

_We had left the family room choosing to pace the floor of the corridor, the same four walls were closing in on us. I admit I didn't give a shit about what happened to his dad, but I didn't want to see Jasper so upset like this. I wanted to wrap him up in my arms and take him home, shelter him and protect him from this mess that was eating him up on the inside. _

_My father's form came into view, I didn't need to hear the words that fell from his mouth to know, the look on his face said it all. Jasper shook as the words left my father's lips, his hands clenched in fists as he was told that his mother was banning him from seeing his father. _

_Jasper screamed loudly in the corridor before making a beeline to where his father lay in rest. Going after him I grabbed hold of his hand and spun him round, pulling him tightly to my chest while he battled to break free. Cursing and shouting at me, while hitting my chest, he then crumbled and painful heartbreaking sobs ripped through him. _

_Holding him tightly to me he wept and mourned the loss of his father. "I'm sorry, so very sorry." I whispered into his ear as his hands gripped into me almost painfully. _

_Pulling him back into the family room my dad followed as Rose went off to see her father in rest. Sitting down I pulled Jasper onto my lap, almost cradling as you would do a child. His face was buried into the crook of my neck as his hands gripped the hair at the nape of my neck._

"_I'm sorry for lashing out." He choked out. All I could do was kiss the top of his head. He had nothing to say sorry for, he wanted to go and I stopped him knowing that now was not the right time for another battle with her. He was hurt and angry, his dad had passed and he was being banned from seeing him while his mother was there. _

"_Jasper." My dad called. He turned his head out of my neck and looked at my dad. His red raw eyes were puffy and bloodshot, his cheeks were tear-stained and his nose red and runny. _

"_I don't know how long you plan on staying here, but he will be moved to the chapel of rest soon. I can call you when your mother has gone and give you a few moments with him." Jasper's body trembled in my arms as he nodded and curled back into me._

_I couldn't even begin to think of how he must feel right now. He had lost his dad at a time when there was such a rift in the family. Jasper had hopes of sorting it out with them, I knew family was important to him and I knew the rift was tearing him up inside. To lose a parent must be one of the hardest things to have go through, but to lose one with such a rift that is right in the middle of it must be almost too much to handle._

"_Edward, take him home. I'll call when she has gone." Looking at my dad I didn't think I had ever been so thankful that he had accepted me for being gay than I did right then._

"Do you think he's sorry for acting the way he did?" Jasper asked me as the light crept through the windows even more.

"I don't know. I would like to think that he does, that he now looks down and wishes things had turned out differently." Jasper sat up and looked at me, in the poor morning light I could make out his bags under his eyes, along with the deep red rims from the days and hours of crying.

"Thank you." His fingers played with mine. "Looks as though today will be the last day I will see my father. I'm dreading this, but I want to pay my respects and say goodbye, even if it will fall on deaf ears." His bottom lip trembled slightly as he brushed his golden locks off his face. He let out a long huffy breath trying to stop himself from crying again.

The day after his father died my father had called to say Jasper's mother had gone home and he could come to the chapel of rest. Jasper sat and cried, painful sobs had ripped though his body, pain of the death of his father, the pain of knowing their last words to each other were ones in temper, the pain of knowing his father had disowned him just before he died.

From what we were told Jasper's dad had a massive bleed during the bypass, and while the team of highly skilled doctors worked frantically to stop the bleed their efforts were in vain. His dad had been suffering with a number of health problems, high blood pressure was one of the main things his dad was suffering from. It also turned out that his heart was working overtime due to a couple of blocked artery's that came to light following his heart attack.

Jasper's mother had been in full-force the days that followed his father's death. Jasper and myself took the blame. To her none of this would have happened if I hadn't been on the scene, if Jasper had of stayed away from me and my lifestyle then his father would be here now. While I disagreed with her there was a small line of truth to her words.

The arguments that had gone off between us and his parent's had only added to the strain his father's heart was under. If we had never happened then those arguments would have never taken place and his dad wouldn't have had the heart attack, that was true. The events that took place had played their part as they had done to all of us, but there was no guarantee that his father's heart wouldn't have had an attack at some point in time.

Rose had all but stopped speaking to her mother when the funeral arrangements were being made. Jasper's mother had not wanted her now diseased disappointment of a son there, Rose had argued that despite what had happened he was still their son and should be allowed to say goodbye to his father at his funeral. The rift in his family had grown bigger with Rose siding on our side, making his mother feel as though she was losing everyone around her. His mother had only backed down to him going to the funeral after Jasper's uncle who was her brother got involved.

"Come here." I held my arms out to Jasper, his shoulders were shaking as the tears came again. Crawling towards me his head rested on my chest as his eyes closed.

"All I have done is cry, and latch onto you as though I'm about to die if I let you go. I'm sorry if I'm crowding you." He croaked out while gripping me even tighter.

How could he possibly think he was crowding me? He was grieving over his dad, even though the fucker didn't deserve to have Jasper's tears. Again he had tried to mend to the rift with his family, thrown another hand to his mother to build the bridge once again. How many more times was he actually going to do this until he accepted his mother wanted nothing to do with him? There was so much in me that wanted Jasper to just fuck them off, fuck her off now. I hated his mother with a passion, the evil fucking bitch had done nothing but hurt her own son over and over again, and why? Because he decided to try and make this work between us. Because he chose to follow his heart in spite of what others thought about him.

He should have cut her out long before this, long before today, but he hadn't. While I can think it's what I would do, what would I really do if my parents suddenly turned on me? Of course I would try all angles, all ways and all roads just to see if there was anyway the rift could be mended.

"Don't be stupid, baby, if you can't lean on me when you need me the most then when can you? Jasper I'm here, whether you spend the next two weeks, or two months in this state I'm here." He lifted his head off my chest giving me a loving kiss on the lips. "I'm sorry, Jasper. I'm sorry all of this has happened because of me, because you got with me. I'm truly sorry." My eyes closed resting my forehead against his.

"If you're trying to tell me that you regret this, then fucking don't." My eyes opened to see his red rimmed eyes filling with a firery blaze in them. He straddled my waist while grabbing my wrists and holding them down above my head.

"Listen, I fucking love you. I don't regret any of it! Not one single thing, not our first night together, not the way I acted towards you, and I certainly don't regret me asking you to marry me. I don't regret picking you over my family. I don't regret falling in love with you. I don't regret a single fucking thing that has happened since that first night, because all of, fucking all of it has led me into your arms. It's led me to the love I feel for you, to the fucking way I need you, to the way I feel completely fucking complete being with you." His eyes burned with fire as he stared at me.

While keeping me pinned down to the bed the intensity in his eyes almost scared me, the passion that burned bright with fire inside his blue orbs was something I had never seen in him.

I knew he loved me, knew that this was what he wanted and that he was more than willing to defend us to anyone including his parents, but never did I think that his love for me would burn this deep. Burn as deep as my love for him was. Tilting my head slightly back but keeping my eyes on him I smiled at him slightly while I licked my lips.

"I don't regret any of it. I just feel bad that you lost your parents, that's all." Jasper smirked looking down at me, his gorgeous blonde curls hanging down over the sides of his face.

"Don't, their choice was to either accept it or not, they chose not to." He leaned further forward, the tips of his curls brushed the sides of my face tickling my skin. "I love you, I need you." He whispered out before his lips crashed hard against mine, forcing my mouth open with his tongue.

I moaned into the kiss as his hands let go of my wrists and found there way into my hair, pulling it hard. He rolled his hips against my growing cock causing another moan and a shudder to come from me. So much aggression filled his kiss before breaking apart from my lips where his eager lips attacked my jaw and neck.

"Fuck, I need you. I need you fucking now." He growled in my ear. "Now Edward." He demanded before he crashed his smooth wet lips against mine again. My hips bucked, thrusting my hard cock against his firm ass. "You don't understand." He whispered against my lips with ragged breaths. "I need to fuck you into oblivion. All fucking fours, babe." He rolled off me and went to the bedside drawer.

Throwing the bottle of lube on the bed he crawled back to me with the corner of the foil packet in-between his teeth. He looked at me seeing the hesitation in my eyes, I had only bottomed for Jasper twice including the first time. While I trusted Jasper and knew he wouldn't hurt me the idea of it still shot a small shimmer of fear through me.

Stroking the side of my face softy he smiled. "You know I won't hurt you." He kissed my lips gently before whispering "Please" at me.

Complying with his earlier demands I got on my hands and knees. Jasper moved behind me, taking in a shaky breath. "Do you know how fucking sexy you look right now? On all fours, ass in the air for me?" I moaned in response as I felt Jasper's fingertips run down my back and over my ass cheeks.

The lip on the bottle of lube clicked open moments before I felt his warm slick fingers run down the crack of my ass and circle my hole before pushing a slick finger inside. I moaned as his finger moved in and out of me before he added a second finger. Breathing out I tried to relax my muscles as Jasper slowly pushed in and out of me. Distracting me, his other hand slipped around my waist to my cock where he began stroking me slowly. Adding slight pressure to the sensitive head I groaned out incoherent sentences as my hips rolled back against his moving fingers.

"Jazz...... baby." My breathing was hard and ragged as the pace picked up, thrusting his fingers in and out of me while stroking my cock. I was quickly becoming unglued. I whimpered as he removed his fingers and let go of my cock. He chuckled softly and tore the foil packet open.

"Is this what you want?" He asked rubbing the head of his cock over my entrance. I groaned needing him as he slowly pushed into me, breaking past the tight wall of muscle. I gasped slightly at the mixture of pain and pleasure. Jasper stilled his movements for a minute until he felt me relax before pushing a little further in.

With slow thrusting movements he went deep each time until he was fully buried deep within me. Jasper moaned with his small gentle thrusts holding my hips.

"I thought you said you wanted to fuck me into oblivion?" I asked him knowing he was trying to go slow. "Fuck me, Jazz. Hard." He pulled back just leaving the tip of his head head before slamming into me hard. His fingers gripped onto my hips almost painfully hard as he thrust into me harder and faster.

"You're so fucking tight....... I love it." Jasper moaned out as his thrusts picked up the pace. Hearing him moan and grunt behind me while we fucked I wondered why I had always put this off. Why had I dug my heels in with him over this and stopped him from loving me completely?

"Argh...... fuck........ right..... there." I cried out as he continued to hit my sweet spot over and over again. Dropping onto my elbows he continued his hard frantic thrusts.

My whole body felt alive, hypersensitive to every little touch he made, everything he did, a shiver ran through me of pleasure setting a tingly feeling all over my body. My cock throbbed as Jasper's thrusts became more urgent and harder.

"Come with me...... I'm so fucking close." Jasper urged as he neared his peak. Dropping even lower so his face and shoulders were pressed into the pillow I grabbed my aching cock.

The new angle changed the way he was hitting my sweet spot and four strokes later I was screaming out in ecstasy. I came hard, shooting my cum all over the bedspread and my hand. My body shook as ever muscle in body contracted.

"Jesus!........ Fuck!" Jasper screamed out as my ass tightened around him and pushed him to his own climax.

He kissed my spine as he pulled out of me breathing hard. Collapsing onto my stomach I tried to catch my breath. "I love you." He whispered giving my hot sweaty cheek a kiss. I smiled at him lazily as he wandered off out of the bed and towards the bathroom.

My eyes closed as I relaxed into a wonderful state of happiness. I felt the warm wash cloth gently clean me from my lover's hands before throwing it in the hamper and coming back to me.

"I could go back to sleep after that." I mumbled out making him chuckle. Jasper laid down on his side and looked at me, the tears were already beginning to fill his beautiful eyes again. Pulling him into my arms and holding him tight to me, Jasper took in a few shaky breaths.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" He asked lifting his head off me to study my face. Giving him a gentle loving kiss I poured all my love for him into it.

"You didn't, I would have said." He smiled weakly as his bottom lip trembled again.

"Good, I don't think I could take it right now if I did." His voice shook slightly as he battled to stop the tears. "I'm hoping that once I see him in the ground that this." He pointed to his tear filled eyes. "Will stop."

Rubbing my thumb against his cheek I smiled softly at him. "Maybe it's what you need, the closure of it all. Even though you're hurting because you have lost your dad doesn't take away the feeling's you have now over your mother and the feelings you had before he died." Jasper sat up and ran his fingers through his hair.

"I just hate that right now all I seem to do is fucking cry! Cry over that bastard who disowned me, cry over the fact that my mother wouldn't let me see my dad when he died, cry over the fact that my fucking family is full of complete and utter shit!" He let out a pissed off growl.

"You're crying because your are grieving, even though they don't deserve it." He snorted.

"Fucking understatement, babe. Fucking understatement." He rolled off the bed and pulled up a pair of sweatpants. My eyes couldn't help but run down his chest, taking in his muscled planes that covered his chest, before seeing the short blonde hairs of his happy trail that disappeared under the waistband of his pants. "I'm gonna make a drink, you heading into the shower first?" I nodded. "Tonight you fancy just getting a few bottles of wine and getting smashed?"

"Getting smashed? What are we, seventeen again?" He chuckled and shrugged. "If that's what you want to do then fine we'll have a blow out." Walking back to me on the bed he leant forward and gave me a sweet loving kiss.

"Thanks." He looked down a little almost as if he was shy. "I mean thanks for being my rock the last few weeks, I would have gone to pieces if you hadn't just supported me when I needed it." He laced our fingers together and gave them a squeeze.

"Don't be stupid, Jazz, why wouldn't I?" I asked watching as he shrugged. "Go put the kettle on. baby, love you." I climbed out of bed, really not wanting to get up. The lack of sleep last night was catching up to me and all I really wanted to do was crawl back into bed with Jasper and go to sleep with him in my arms.

"Love you, too." He called as he walked out the bedroom and headed downstairs.

Heading into the bathroom I flicked the shower on giving it a few minutes to heat up before climbing in. The hot water from the shower soothed the tension out of my shoulders, I felt drained. Jasper wasn't sleeping well, the stress of the last few weeks were catching up with him and when he wasn't sleeping I wasn't sleeping. Jasper had spent most of the nights talking about his dad, reliving old times when he was with accepted in his family, when he wasn't in a relationship with a man.

After washing my hair and shaving I climbed out of the shower and wrapped a towel around me, wiping the now steamed up mirror in the bathroom I looked at my own reflection. I looked tired, like I hadn't had a good night's sleep in a while, but I knew I looked a damn sight better than Jasper.

_Jasper, my little bunny.  
_

God how I hated seeing him like this. I hated seeing the dark bags under his eyes, I hated seeing his eyes filled with tears. I hated that his normal blue sparkling orbs were now dull and lifeless. The sight of him like this was tearing me apart inside, tearing me to know he was suffering so much, feeling so much pain and anger and I couldn't do a single thing to stop it, to take it away. I wanted to see him smile again, and not just after we fucked. I wanted to see his permanent smile, the one that always sat on his lips, but I knew it would be while until he was back to that again.

Leaving the bathroom I walked back into the bedroom, the bedroom that was mine, which was fastly becoming ours. There he sat, paper in front of him, drinking his mug of coffee. He lifted his head slightly and I saw the slight shimmer of wetness on his cheeks. He smiled softly at me. "Rose called." That would explain the tears he has shed then.

"Yeah?" I asked walking over to the side and picking up my coffee to take a sip.

"Mum's had a run in with her over the cars. I told her we will make our own way there, that I didn't want to ride in the cars with her. Rose thinks I should be as he was my dad to and it's the principle of the matter." He sighed tilting his head towards me slightly. "Sorry it caused more tears, she is really falling out with my mum over all of this."

"She will do, she's your sister Jazz, she loves you." Jasper closed the paper and chuckled softly.

"Yeah, she does. I'm gonna take a shower, babe." He said getting off the bed and walking past me.

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**_Please hit the review button and send me some love, Jen x_**


	31. Chapter 31

**_AN/ Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. You guys rock! I know a lot of you are all sad that it is coming to an end, me too but it has run its course. _**

**_I have began a new fic, no I haven't given up on It's Fate I'm hoping to start the next chapter today. The new story will replace this one with its updates once it's complete. If you haven't checked it out yet then please do, be warned and read the authors note before you read._**

**_Broken Dreams and Beautiful Nightmares_**

http: // www. fanfiction . net /s/5705101/1/ Broken_Dreams_and_Beautiful_Nightmares

**_A massive thank you to my wonderful beta who is just the best._**

**_Here's chapter 31!  
_**

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_**JPOV**_

__The black suit sat hanging off the wardrobe door along with a crisp white shirt, waiting for me to put it on. I should be dressed by now. I should be downstairs waiting for the taxi to come and take me to my father's funeral. Instead I was sitting on the edge of the bed with my socks on and boxers just staring at it.

I was hurting, hurting so much that everything in my life seemed dark and grey, nothing seemed light and sunny, not even Edward. Edward was and always will be the best thing in my life, but I was seeing the effect of the last few weeks on him. The effects of me being in this state on him. While I loved that he would sit and talk to me during the night when I couldn't sleep, or hold me tightly in his arms, protecting me and covering me love when I felt alone and unloved, it was having an effect on him. One I wish I could stop.

Today was for me to say goodbye, to let go of this large massive part of me that never thought in a million years I would let go. My family and myself were parting ways. My father's death couldn't repair the damage that had been done, it just drove the divide even wider than it already was, pushing us further and further apart. I couldn't do it anymore. No more could I hold my hand out and ask for us to try and rebuild this road once again. My mother had seen to it that the road was not just broken down into rubble, but blown apart to create something bigger than the Grand Fucking Canyon. The hand stayed there after my father died, casting off her selfishness and lack of compassion and putting it down to her grieving over the loss of her husband, but the hand disappeared when she told me I wasn't welcome to his funeral. My father's funeral and I had been told I wasn't welcome. It was only because of my uncle that I was now going, if he hadn't of stepped in I wouldn't be going.

This was so strange, so backwards. I struggled to make sense of my feelings. On one hand I loved my parents still, I grieved over the loss of my father and felt the pain of knowing I would never see him again, never share a pint with him or a loving embrace again. I felt for my mother who after thirty years of marriage was now finding herself on her own, she had lost the love of her life, the one that made her complete and whole. But the other hand was such a different hand altogether. I hated them, hated my dad for how he acted before he died towards me. I hated my mum for how she acted before and how she continues to act. I wanted them gone and out of my life forever, today was the final bow.

Picking up the trousers to the suit I pulled them on before grabbing the white shirt and jacket. Throwing the jacket on the bed I buttoned up the shirt and looked at myself in the mirror. The dark bags showed signs of how much sleep I hadn't had, the red puffy eyes showed the tears I had shed and the pain I had felt. Grabbing a plain bobble I pulled my curls back and tied them off my face. I hardly ever tied my hair back, normally when I was working out I would, but today I wanted that bitch to see the signs of how much pain I had felt and keeping my hair down masked those signs.

Sliding my arms through the jacket I walked down the stairs, the taxi would be arriving any minute now. Any minute I would hear the horn honk telling us that it had turned up and I would be off to see my father laid to rest in the earth. How would I actually feel seeing him being lowered into the ground? How would I handle seeing my mother who by her own words now hates me for becoming 'Gay'.

Her words had made me once again question just what section I would class myself in. Yes, I was happy and frankly I didn't give a shit anymore, but I could neither agree or disagree with her. I wasn't gay as such, I slept with Edward. I thought Edward was hot, fucking smoking hot at that, and I loved him, but I didn't fancy another man on the planet. I could admit if a guy was good looking, but I certainly wouldn't be finding myself hard. So I could have argued that point with her, but her comeback would have been you're sleeping with Edward. Edward on the other hand was gay, he found guys attractive and found the thought of a woman laying naked on his bed nothing short of a turn off. I, on the other hand, still found women attractive. So again I could have argued with he,r but her comeback would have been the same, not that any of this actually mattered anymore.

"Why does she have such a hard time trying to get her head around me and you together when I managed it, and yet I'm the one sleeping with you?" I asked Edward as he came out into the hall. My eyes ran down his body, he looked fucking hot in his black suit and the thought did run through my mind to just rip his fucking clothes off and fuck the living daylights out of him again.

"Because your mother is nothing short of a close-minded bigot who thinks that there must be something seriously wrong in the world if two men find happiness together." He replied as he walked closer to me and snaked his arms around my waist holding me close to his body. God, I could stay here all day. "Bunny, you have tried more than once to build the bridge, now just leave it be. If your mother cannot for the life of her want to reconcile with her son after the death of not just her husband, but your father, then she isn't going to start anytime soon." His lips lightly brushed against mine setting my lips on fire.

"I know, but still...... she's my mum." He held my glaze, staring at me intently with his smouldering green eyes.

"I know." He brushed his thumb against my cheek. "Despite what I may think of her she brought you into this world and without her I wouldn't have you." I smiled weakly at him, hearing the taxi pip it's horn outside.

"You're still glad you have me?" He chuckled as he broke away from me and picked up house keys from the side and opened the front door.

"Immensely so. I wouldn't want my life any other way." He smiled and held out his hand for me as he turned towards the now open door. Taking his hand I walked outside with him and towards the taxi.

The funeral passed in some sort of blur, I shut off from what was happening, from the words that were said to the hymns that were sung. All of it just blurred together. Some things caught my attention, when I heard people speak about my father being a great man or how he loved his children, I almost laughed at that. I was not too sure how I didn't, but somehow I managed to just snort at the comment and not laugh. There was a big part of me that wanted to go stop his best friend from speaking, to address the family and friends of my father and tell them that he did not love his children for who they were.

I wanted to tell them how my father had disowned me for finding happiness with another man, how he had written me out of the will and told me how disgusted he actually was that he had a son that happened to fall in love with his best friend. I was sure the gasps and shocks from them would have been enough to have me removed from the church, but at least they would have known the truth. Edward seemed to know what I was thinking, that I was contemplating walking up there and letting everyone know how it actually was because his arm snaked around my waist and pulled me closer to him while whispering "Don't Jazz, it's not worth it, be the bigger person and don't let her have the satisfaction of destroying today." Lacing my fingers through his I smiled and gave them a gentle squeeze. I was thankful that he was with me right now, by my side, supporting me when everyone around me seemed to just hate me or want to have a pop.

My mother kept her eyes on me when she could, her steel grey eyes were cold looking back at me. The warmth and loved that I had once seen in them were long gone and replaced by hate and disgust. You could almost see the words, the sentences she formed in her head as she looked at me. Her eyes much like my own gave her away to the people who knew her the most.

As my father's coffin was brought out to the graveyard Rose walked over to me. Her eyes cast down to our joint hands and she smiled brightly, I had made a point of holding his hand in front of my mother, in front of my family. I made a point of hugging his body close to mine when we walked in and out, all of it manly to spite her, to rub it in her face, that I had made my choice. Edward had won hands down and she needed to accept it or get out of my life.

Rose never said a single word as she hugged me tightly and gave me a kiss on the cheek, she didn't need to. My sister had my back, she had shown that, proved that to our mother that no matter what I chose to do with my life she loved me and supported me. I watched as she repeated the same action on Edward, but added in his ear simply the words of "I love you, too." My heart soared hearing her tell him she loved him. I knew she did, it wasn't like they had never known each other. Edward and Rose had a great relationship of picking silly little childish fights with one another for fun, but hearing her tell him she loved him today, right here, meant so much more than anything else she could have said. She was welcoming him, letting him know she didn't care.

She stood by our sides in the middle of us as our father's coffin was placed into the ground. I know there were some words that were said, I didn't know what they were, I wasn't listening. My eyes flickered between looking at the coffin and looking at my mother who was still staring at us. The phrase 'if looks could kill' sprang to mind. I watched as my mother tossed dirt on top of his coffin, watched as Rose refused and watched as words among the family was muttered about Rose and I. Our family wasn't stupid, they certainly didn't need to have the picture drawn out for them as to why my mother was being so cold towards me.

The family slowly moved away from the coffin and headed back for the wake. Rose left soon after saying her own personal goodbyes and pretty soon all that was left was Edward and me on one side of the grave and my mother on the other.

"I don't want you at the wake." She muttered looking at us with cold eyes and a hard face. Was this really the same woman who gave me life?

Wiping my eyes to remove the soft falling tears I gripped Edward's hand. "I don't want to be there, I came to pay my respects to my father, other than that I'm not interested." Turning on my heel I walked away from her, walked away from my father's grave and I walked away from my family.

We walked out of the graveyard hand in hand and in complete silence. My mind left the thoughts of my family soon after leaving, my mind drifted to something else, something I wanted now more then anything else in the world. As we waited outside the graveyard hand in hand I thought about the past few weeks and months, our time in Paris, the way we got engaged the talk we had about surnames and what we agreed, even to us thinking about setting a date, my mind became filled with it all.

"I don't want you to take Hale, I don't want you to have that surname. I want to take Cullen." I watched as Edward frowned at me a little but soon smiled softy at me.

"If that's what you want, it's your choice and I want you to be happy." Again he was thinking about me, always thinking about me being happy. "What's on your mind other than that, Jasper? And don't lie." Was it really that obvious that something was on my mind? Other than my family which was pretty damn clear, there was something else on my mind, and Edward knew it. He knew that my mind was being occupied with something other than my family.

Looking down at our joined hands I smiled seeing his engagement ring glisten in the weak sunlight. "I want us to get married, now. I don't want to wait. I don't want anything fancy, I just want you and me married right now." My eyes stayed focused on our hands, on his ring as I spoke. I heard Edward intake a sharp breath and I regretted it. Regretted speaking what was on my mind, regretted telling him that I didn't want us to wait, that I wanted us to do it now.

"Jazz....." His voice sounded almost defeated. He didn't want to...... he had said when we got engaged he wanted a long engagement and here I was telling him, almost demanding him to marry me now. "Is that what you want? For us to get married now and not wait?" He asked. I could feel his eyes burning into me, piercing through my skin until it burned, but I refused to look at him. Refused to see it in his eyes and face that this wasn't what he wanted.

"Yeah...... it is." I went to walk away from him feeling embarrassed more than anything else, but his hand wouldn't let mine go. He pulled me back to him taking hold of my chin and lifting my face to his. My eyes stayed down unable to look into his even though everything was telling me to. Telling me to look into my lover's eyes I fought it and kept them down.

"Look at me, Jasper. Look at me." He asked in a whispering demand. My eyes slowly lifted to his as his hand kept a gentle hold on my chin. "I don't want you to be saying this because of today, because of your emotional state of mind. I want you to want this, to really want it, not to just say it because you're hurting over the loss of your family and looking for a replacement. Jazz, I would marry you tomorrow, I really would, but I don't want to agree to something only for you to change your mind." I shook my head.

"It's not, and I do. This is something I have thought about for a while, so.....?" Before he could even answer me the taxi pulled up. Normally I would have been happy with the quick response instead of waiting twenty minutes longer than originally told, but right now I wished it wasn't here.

He wouldn't answer me now, not with the taxi here and the driver listening to everything we said. He kept me close to him in the back of the cab, his finger trailing up and down my arm setting it on fire. He never uttered a word to me as we made our way home. I think secretly he was glad that the taxi had turned up getting him off the spot he was currently on. Of course I understood what he was saying, my emotions had been all over the place while I grieved not only for the loss of my once loving father, but for the loss of my loving mother as well.

Slowly I was putting things in order, today had done me good. Watching my father lowered into the ground gave me a sense of closure, I really had walked away from my family today. Washed my hands of them to never see them again, other than Rose. All I wanted to do now was marry Edward, start a new life with him. He was all I needed, he loved me and supported me no matter what. What else could I possibly need from another human that Edward hadn't already shown or given me? There wasn't.

Stepping out of the taxi I headed towards the front door while Edward paid. I left the front door open and headed into the kitchen with beer on my mind. Pulling open the fridge door I pulled out two bottles of beer and placed Edward's on the side while I downed mine. The front door closed shut and he appeared a few moments later taking his bottle of beer and looking at me. He looked down at the bottle of beer while his brow fused together thinking about something.

"Yes." He said placing his beer down on the side and taking my hand. "We'll sort it out and do it now." He smiled. "Well, as close to now as we can." He pulled me closer to him, and crashed his lips hard against mine. His tongue forced its way into my mouth as my hands snaked around his waist and down his ass.

Breaking apart from the kiss I smiled looking at him. "You mean it?" Joy crashed through me. The pain I was feeling inside of me was still there, but his love, his agreement to marrying me now was overpowering any other feeling that was running through my system.

"Yes... I mean it." He whispered as his lips met mine again. Moaning into the kiss my hands slipped up the back of his shirt, feeling his smooth skin covering his hard muscles.

"Make love to me, I need to feel you." He took my hand and led me upstairs to what was more his room but had become ours. "I love you." I whispered to him as his hands slid underneath my jacket, pushing it off my shoulders and letting it fall to the floor.

His fingers began undoing the buttons on my shirt as mine did the same. "I love you, too." He murmured in a husky voice before our lips met softly. The feel of his smooth soft wet lips against my own caused a shiver of excitement to run through me as our shirts hit the floor.

My fingers eagerly found there way to his belt buckle, fumbling as I undid it and pulled it through the loops. My hands ghosted over his rock hard cock which was straining against the fabric of its confinements. Popping the button and pulling down the zip my hands eagerly slipped down into his boxers where my prize awaited. He moaned into the kiss as my hands ran over his hard hot shaft, feeling the silky skin cover steel underneath my fingertips. In a swift movement my trousers and boxers were around my ankles as I felt Edward's fingertips lightly run over my hip and thigh. His lips kissed across my jaw and down my neck, so loving and gentle, adding slight nips to my skin as he went.

My mouth pooled with saliva as I ached to have his cock in my mouth. Pushing me gently back towards the bed he laid me down before climbing over me. Our cocks rubbed together causing us both to moan loudly into the kiss. As our tongues explored each others' mouths I tugged at his hair, pushing against him to flip him on his back. I needed to feel his cock in my mouth, I ached to feel it against my tongue as it slid in my mouth. I could hardly contain myself as my body rushed with sheer pleasure at the thought of tasting him on the tip of my tongue. Edward rolled onto his side as his hands roamed my chest stopping at my nipples. I cried out in pleasure as he pulled on my nipple ring with his fingers while his mouth moved down my neck and across my collarbone, nibbling it and sucking as he went. My mind was in overdrive as my body took wave after wave of pleasure, pleasure he was giving me, the love he was loving me with. I don't think I had ever been happier, in the midst of all the hell and havoc that was going on around us feeling his love made me forget everything and just be happy.

Edward flipped himself around, moving his head toward my cock and bringing his just inches from my face. I acted as though I was some drug addict needing his next fix as I took him in my mouth. Curving my tongue I coated the side of his cock while my lips moved up and down his beautiful cock in a fast pace.

"Fuck.... Jazz." He cried out loudly as my mouth attacked his cock. Taking him deeper and deeper into my mouth I grazed my teeth down his shaft. With him deep in my mouth I felt his tongue swirl around my swollen sensitive head, flicking his tongue against my slit. I groaned around him, the vibrations causing him to thrust into my mouth, taking him deeper into my mouth.

Edward's talented mouth soon engulfed me until I felt the tip of my head hit the back of his throat. I moaned around him again as his smooth wet lips slid up and down my shaft pushing me closer to the edge. Our hips thrust into each others' mouths as our movements became almost frantic as we neared our pinnacle. My hand played and tugged with his balls which began to tighten, his cock pulsated in my mouth before shooting his cum down my throat as I swallowed. Edward moaned around me as I felt his finger push into my ass. I moaned releasing his softening cock from my mouth as Edward picked up the pace. A second slick finger pushed into my ass making me cry out with pleasure, his mouth tightened its seal around my cock as he thrust his fingers into my ass. His fingers hit my sweet spot and he began massaging it, the muscles in the pit of my stomach tightened as my body began to shake.

"Fuck!" I cried out as my climax crashed through me. My body exploded with pleasure as I came hard in his mouth. I whimpered slightly as I felt his fingers leave my ass. Breathing hard I rolled onto my back as Edward's tongue licked up my softening cock before bringing his lips to mine. His tongue danced against mine which sent a shudder through me as I tasted myself on his tongue. His hand gently cupped the side of my face as he kissed passionately, pouring all his love into the kiss before pulling back and looking me with his dark green eyes that carried so much love in them.

"I need to feel you in me." I whispered to him feeling his cock hardening against my thigh. He smiled at me as I heard the lid of the bottle of lube click open.

He pulled my legs up and around his before two slick fingers pushed inside me. I moaned as he began to work his fingers in me, his lips kissed across my stomach leaving a trail of hot fire burning my skin from where his lips had been.

"You're so sexy, and gorgeous and all mine." He murmured against my stomach making my breathing hitch in my throat. I loved how he made me feel, loved how his skin felt on mine, his body pushed hard against me.

"Please.... I'm ready." I gasped out needing him now. I was sure that if I didn't get my way now I would combust and die.

Whimpering as his fingers slipped out of me, I watched as he tore the condom packed open and rolled it down his long hard thick cock. Groaning I watched him coat himself with lube, stroking himself a few times before I felt the tip of him against my entrance.

"Edward." Breathless whispers of his name left my lips as he slowly pushed himself into me. Wrapping my legs around his waist I pushed my heels into his ass forcing him into me, and moaning loudly as every inch of him pushed into me. Edward released a low growl that rattled deep within his chest as he finally filled me completely. Thrusting slowly in and out of me our eyes stayed locked together as we made slow passionate love. His hands held onto the tops of my thighs as he stayed split on his knees in front of me. His teeth bit his bottom lip, holding it there before letting go and murmuring a soft moan. My hands roamed up his arms to his elbow before pulling him forward so I could capture his lips with mine.

Time was lost to me, to us as we locked ourselves away in own personal heaven, slowly making love, connecting to one another again. Our bodies became slick with sweat as we slowly climbed towards our euphoric high. Our breaths were hard and laboured as moans and breathless pleas fell from our lips, directed towards one another.

My body felt on fire, cursing through my veins at a record-breaking pace, setting alight every inch of me. I was hypersensitive and aware of every move he made, my body responded to the simplest of touches. He repeatedly hit my sweet spot over and over again slowly, painfully slow. I was sure that at that moment in time I could have died and I wouldn't have cared less.

My now rock hard cock was trapped deliciously between our slick bodies, my hips rocked against his meeting his every thrust. My brow was covered in sweat, wetting the tips of his bronze locks and making them stick to him. My head tilted back in pleasure, pushing deeply into the pillow as he moved back into a kneeling position. His thrusts picked up a little more, becoming sharper and hard, driving me closer to my release.

I fisted the sheets crying out as his drove deeper into me, slamming into and hitting my sweet spot at just the right angle. His warm hand wrapped around my aching cock pumping it, matching it to his thrusts, my back arched as my orgasm hit me full pelt. My muscles twitched and tightened all over me as my toes curled.

"Oh god!" I cried out in a scream as I felt the hot spurts of my cum hit across my stomach. Edward's thrusts became erratic, slamming into me harder and faster as he neared his own release.

The pure pleasure that was written all over his face my heart swelled to a point of exploding in my chest. He was perfect, so beautiful, locked in his own personal pleasure that was ripping through his body making his muscles contract. A loud cry left his lips as he threw his head back cumming hard before collapsing on me, breathing hard. I wrapped my arms around him holding him tightly to me, allowing ourselves to bask in the aftermath of our lovemaking.

He lifted his head off my shoulder and kissed me softly on the lips. "Jasper Cullen, huh? You sure?" He asked with a small, but wonderful smile on his lips.

"Yes." I answered whipping the hair off his brow and smiling at him. "The sooner the better."

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**_Well.....Jasper said goodbye to his family. Can't say I blame him really._**

**_Hit the review buttons my lovelys and send some love, Jen x  
_**


	32. Chapter 32

**_AN/_**_ Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, you guys rock. I love reading all the wonderful reviews that you guys send me it makes me so happy. _

_Well this is the second to last chapter......how sad is that? The boys have come such a long way since the start to the story, they have both grown together and I'm gonna miss them when its over. I do have a new fic running now, that will replace this one when its over, Broken Dreams and Beautiful Nightmares already has two chapters up. Its a little dark and covered a hard subject but worth a read, if you haven't gone and checked it out then please go take a look. _

_And as for It's Fate I haven't forgotten about it, them boys aren't really talking to me right now but I have started the chapter and I'm hoping that I will have it up by the weekend. _

_A massive thank you to Amy for doing her thing and sorting out the awful grammar I sent her last night thanks to a bottle of wine._

_I hope you guys like the chapter and I'll see you at the bottom._

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_**JPOV **_

The grass crisp and green covered in a light shimmer of morning dew. The early morning sun was just breaking through the white clouds, I smiled looking out over the grounds of the eighteenth century mansion. I couldn't be happier right now, with everything that had gone off, with everything that had been said. I found myself in a beautiful grand bedroom complete with four poster bed on the morning of my wedding.

The last two months had been filled with us planning and looking. Neither of us wanted anything fancy and lavish, nothing that screamed look at me, all we wanted was to just get married and be done with it. The most important thing about today wasn't how much money we had spent, or how grand everything looked, all that mattered was that we got married with our closest watching us. The mansion had seemed perfect, the grounds were beautiful along with the rooms, it was perfect for our small and intimate wedding.

The only people from my family attending today was Rose, the rest weren't, we didn't even invite them. Edward's parents were here to watch along with Seth and his latest dolly bird and Emmett and Bella, that was it. We hadn't bothered inviting anyone else, we didn't want to. I had wanted us to just disappear and get married that way no one could ruin it for us, but Edward had dug his heels in saying that he may not care about guests being there but he did want his mum and dad there. I backed down and realised that maybe us just disappearing wasn't really fair on everyone else.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" I turned to see Maria standing there with a small smile on her lips, her eyes already covered in tears just waiting to fall.

"Yes." Maria slowly made her way towards me where she engulfed me in a hug. "Thanks for coming." I whispered to her before pulling back from her embrace.

"As if I would miss this? Don't be stupid, Jazz. I watched as you figured your head after that night. I was there when you cried over him because you had been an ass. I was happy when I saw you fall in love with him. Despite all of your faults I wouldn't have missed this for the world." She wiped under her eyes and smiled.

"Thanks Maria, you know for all the advice in the beginning, for kicking my ass when I screwed up. And thanks for not turning your back on me when I got with Edward." She slapped my arm playfully and chuckled.

"You're still you no matter whose bed you're climbing into." She looked around the room. "It is gorgeous, you two picked a beautiful place." She ran her fingers over the solid wood that made up the four poster bed. "Have you had breakfast yet?" I cringed, the thought of food made me feel sick.

"No, has Edward?" We parted ways late last night leaving him in the bar with his dad to have some father-son time. I felt slightly sad that I didn't get that, that my dad wasn't here to see this, but in the same breath even if he was alive I wouldn't want him here.

"You have got to be joking." She laughed. "Jazz, Ed isn't in a fit state to even walk, let alone eat." My heart rate picked up and panic washed over me.

"Why? What's the matter with him?" I frantically began to move towards the door only to be stopped by Maria grabbing my arm and laughing.

"Jazz, he's fine. Hung over and looks a little green, he had one too many last night, but don't you worry, he will be there fit and ready to marry you." A long breath left my lungs that I realised I had been holding.

"You've seen him? Where? When? Did he say anything? I want details, Maria, details!" I all but demanded, Maria laughed and sat on the edge of the bed looking at me.

My nerves were killing me, I was becoming a mess, fast. I wanted to find the fast forward button and just get to the point where I was marrying Edward and not standing here waiting around.

"Will you relax? God, Jazz, you need to calm yourself down and take a few deep breaths, okay?" She smiled sweetly at me while I paced around the floor.

"Just answer me, Maria, please!" She pursed her lips together, deliberately putting off answering what I wanted to know so badly.

"Yes, I have seen him and no, he didn't say a word about you or today other than water and painkiller." She smirked while my face fell.

Was he regretting this? Did he have second thoughts? Did he not want to marry me now? Oh god, what if he stood me up? Left me standing there like a fucking idiot waiting for someone who won't come. He had been on my mind the whole morning, since I woke up. Fuck, he had been on my mind all fucking night since we parted ways.

"Oh." I mumbled out a little hurt that he hadn't even spoke about me on the morning of our wedding.

"Jazz, I'm playing with you. Of course he spoke about you, he's marrying you today. In a few hours as well." She chuckled at me while I shot her a dirty look.

"Not fucking funny, Maria." I snapped at her. "I want to see him." Grumbling I walked back to the window resting my arm on the window frame.

"Then go and see him, Jazz, he wants to see you." I pulled at my bottom lip while contemplating this. Could I really go and see him? Now?

"But its bad luck." Maria laughed at me and walked towards me resting her arm on my shoulder giving it a light gentle squeeze.

"It's only bad luck if you believe it is. Jazz, if you want to go and see your man then go and see him, it won't make any difference to your marriage. Fucking silly old wives tails don't make a marriage work. Loving each other and being there for each other when the other needs them, it's giving and taking and working at it all the time, these things will make your marriage work, not if you see him the morning of your wedding." I frowned slightly feeling the panic in me begin to rise up again.

"Jazz, go and see him, even if it's for five minutes, just hold him, kiss him, tell him you love him." She grinned. "Want me to take you?" I nodded like small child pulling my bottom lip. Maria took my hand and walked me out of the room, in the back of my mind I thought that if Rose was to catch us she would march me back to my room and lock me in there until it was time.

Grinning like a madman I wandered bare-fucking-foot in my sweatpants and Tee, my hair a complete mess from sleeping, towards his room. Euphoria washed over me, I felt as though I was walking on air. My body felt alive and tingly, almost shaking with excitement as I neared his room. Still pulling my bottom lip Maria slapped my hand away from my mouth, I pouted and she rolled her eyes.

"Don't be a child, Jasper." She said almost joking with me, but being a little serious at the same time. "Go see your man, you have five minutes." She walked away from me leaving me standing at his door.

Tapping gently on the large wooden panelled door I waited for him to open. I could hear him moving around inside the room, groaning slightly, a chuckle wanted to escape my lips hearing him hungover. I wondered how much he had drunk last night for him to be groaning like that. The door opened and a hungover, but happy looking Edward stood there.

"Jazz.... what you doing here?" He asked staring at me. I smiled and moved closer towards him, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck and breathing in deeply; letting his scent fill me, wash over me and embed itself into me.

"I wanted to see you." I whispered in his ear as his arms wrapped tightly around me. "I love you." They fell from my lips so effortlessly, like my lips had always been designed to say them to him, just to him.

Breaking from our embrace I walked past him and into his room. I heard the door click and close behind me as I made my way to his bed where I laid down on my front burying my face into the pillows that smelt of him. I smiled hearing him walk towards me and feeling the bed dip.

"Smelling the pillows is fine, but it doesn't beat the real thing." I mumbled with my face still in the pillow. Edward's musical chuckle hit my ear as he leant over me. I could feel his chest pressing softly against my back, his hot breath fanning my neck before his soft plump lips kissed my skin. He breathed in deeply, taking in my scent, pushing his face deeper into me.

"Home." He murmured so softly in a whisper. "I missed you last night." The smile spread across my face like wildfire. I don't honestly think I could have stopped it even if I tried.

"Me too." I turned to face him, being met with his fire blazing green eyes that burned with love.

"You know we're not meant to see each other, it's meant to be bad luck." The amusement in his voice made me chuckle.

"Fuck that, it's a myth seeing you hours before we get married won't make or break our marriage, but if you want me to go I will." I slowly began to wiggle my way out from under him.

"I never said I wanted you to go anywhere." He rolled to his side and pulled me closer to him, bringing me back to where I had wiggled from. Of course I was never actually going to go anywhere and I put up very little resistance.

We laid together, wrapped in each other arms relaxing. I felt all my nerves disappear, all the panic that had built up inside me washed away as his love covered me. I sighed contented hearing his soft snores and feeling his breath fan my neck. My arms tightened around him as I felt myself slipping into a blissful state of sleep.

Time passed by and I wondered just how long I had been here, wrapped up in his arms, feeling his body pressed to mine and having his heat just radiate off him and onto me. I know it was just gone half eight when I came here, surely it wasn't much past half nine now? We weren't getting married until four, so we had plenty of time before the event itself. There was no need to rush and break this wonderful connection I was feeling on the bed with Edward, the world could wait. And really, who gives a shit if I part with him five minutes before we get married?

"Just what the fuck are you doing, Jasper?" I smiled and wrapped tightly around Edward. "Jasper!" Rose screamed again moving closer towards the bed, Edward chuckled softly holding me tighter to him.

"I'm snuggling." Rose snorted and grabbed the top of my ear making me yelp. Edward did nothing to help other than relax his arms allowing Rose to pull me up.

Why does the top of the ear fucking kill? It doesn't matter what age you are if someone grabs it, it fucking hurts like a bitch.

"Up!" She commanded. "You're not meant to see each other until the wedding, now move it, baby brother." Rose demanded in a short sharp tone at me. I kissed Edward on the lips knowing the next time I kissed him he would be my husband.

"I love you." He smiled and stroked my cheek. "You'll be there, won't you?" I asked feeling my nerves creeping back up again. Fucking Rose, I loved her and all, but she had seriously fucked my calm mood.

"You know I will." He chuckled. "You better go before Rose tears into you, love you." There wasn't much chance of me responding, the moment he stopped talking Rose had my arm and was leading me out of his room.

"Jazz, room, shower, now. I leave you alone for five minutes and you go AWOL on me. Do you know what time it is?" She asked as she closed the door to my room.

Shrugging I answered. "Dunno, about ten-ish, I guess." She shook her head at me.

"Try almost one." One? What? Wait, that can't be right....... I haven't been in Edward's room all morning.

"What took you so long to come get me?" I asked acting a little smart, as I pulled my Tee off my head.

"I thought you were sleeping as you hadn't come down. Edward's parents thought the same after what he put away last night. We were right, though we didn't think you were both sleeping in the same bed. Now go and get showered." She pointed towards the bathroom door like a mother would do a child.

Following her orders I hit the shower, letting the hot water warm my skin and wake me up. I smiled remembering just how Alice had taken the news, how she had acted when she walked up to me in the middle of the club and how she had tried and failed to worm her way back in.

_We had arrived at the club arranging to have our friends waiting for us in the VIP area. They all knew we were getting married, or should I say they knew we were engaged to one another, but none of them knew we had set a date. _

_Following the weeks after my father's death I had slowly pulled myself out of my sad state of grieving. I had come back to the club about a week after the funeral, wanting to set my life back in order. Grieving over someone who didn't give a shit about me the last few months of his life was pretty pointless. It would never undo the harshness of the events that had taken place, it wouldn't make my dad suddenly reappear and accept me. The people that I needed in my life had accepted me with open arms, the most important person in my life had fully accepted the person I was and loved me for it even more. _

_The date for the wedding had been set, the venue had been booked, all that was left was telling our friends. Edward's family didn't know yet, we were heading over there at the weekend to tell them. _

_Walking into the club holding Edward's hand in mine, our fingers linked so beautifully together, like two pieces of the same puzzle, I smiled widely at everyone. Happiness crashed through me over and over again. I wanted to shout at the top of my lungs that we were getting married, I wanted the whole god damn world to know that Edward was mine and was soon going to be my husband. _

_Our friends were already sitting around the table waiting for us. I flashed a toothy grin before Edward dragged me off to the bar to get the champagne. I was about to combust, my body was shaking with excitement. Excitement of telling our friends, excitement of marrying the most wonderful person in the world. I didn't think I could cool myself off if I tried. _

_We left Jess to attend to the champagne as we walked back to our friends, both of us stupidly happy at the thought of becoming a solid joint unit._

"_Fourteenth_ _of May, we're getting married." I blurted out. We hadn't even sat ourselves down yet and already the words had left my mouth. _

_Edward looked at me and smiled, his eyes filling with so much emotion hearing me announce our wedding to our friends. I knew just how much he loved hearing me speak about our relationship so openly after my refusal to even call him my boyfriend at the very beginning. _

"_This year?" Rose asked smirking at Edward. "I thought you might have waited awhile. Are you sure you really want to marry into this family?" She asked him._

"_I'm pretty sure." He wrapped his arm around my waist pulling me closer to him. _

"_Congratulations, guys." Emmett boomed, Bella nodded and smiled at us. Seth stood up and walked towards giving us a hug both. _

"_Really happy for you both, man, you two look so happy with each other." Seth whispered. _

"_Thanks, I take it you'll all be coming, won't you?" I asked causing Edward to chuckle and place a kiss on my cheek. _

_The night wore on drinking champagne and informing them about our plans. Edward and I had both booked the night off at the club. We may be here, but we certainly weren't working. Well, that was the plan, but just like all good plans something always goes wrong. _

_The problem that presented itself to us tonight was one of the barrels had gotten stuck and wouldn't come off the pump. Result? Wiping out the supply of that brand to the main bar. Edward had shot off to have a look at the problem with me promising that if anything else happened I would take care of it. _

_I ended up eating my words, no longer than five minutes had passed when a four foot nothing bitch appeared in the bar heading right towards us. I groaned, and watched as Rose locked eyes on her. _

"_Jazz." Her voice was low and weak, almost shaking slightly as she spoke. _

"_What do you want, Alice?" It seemed as though the music had been turned down. It was always a little quieter in the VIP area, but never this quiet or so it seemed. _

"_I heard about your dad...... I just wanted to say I'm sorry and if you ever...... well, you know." I snorted at her words. She was one of the main reason's behind the rift in my family. _

_Even though I had accepted that my mother would never accept me for falling for Edward, I still strongly believed as did Edward that Alice telling them had played a hand in their reactions. I didn't think we would have been all alright because it became clear that their reactions would have still happened regardless, but Alice had made things worse. For all we knew the arguments that took place could have been avoided if she had kept her fucking trap shut._

"_If I ever what? Want to talk? Need a shoulder to cry on?" The words left my mouth in a bitter tone full of hate. I hated her with a passion. _

"_Yes... Look, I know things between us are a little awkward, but I still love you, Jazz. Those feelings I can't just turn off." She sighed, and for a split second I almost felt sorry for her. _

"_If I need anyone to talk to, or a shoulder to cry on I'll speak to my..... husband." I __added with a smirk at the end, her eyes nearly popped out of her head and her mouth hung open._

"_Hus.... Husband?" The shock in her voice only made me grin even more. Yeah, okay, he wasn't my husband yet, but in two months time he would be. _

"_Didn't you know? Me and Edward are getting married in two months time." Just to piss her off even more I flashed her my engagement ring._

_"Jazz...... Please, just don't do this...... Don't marry him." Her hand touched my arm, my eyes drifted down to her hand then back up to her face. Was she fucking serious? _

_"Get your hand off him." Rose snapped swatting her hand away from my arm. Alice turned to look at Rose who was now on her feet. "Lay another finger on my brother and I swear I'll tear your fucking head off!" Rose sneered, her face filling up with pure rage. _

_Out of the corner of my eye I saw Edward walking back towards me, his eyes had narrowed as he spotted Alice standing there. Sending him a small smile which he returned I looked up to Alice._

_"I think you better go." Alice turned her head and a low almost growl came from within her as she spotted Edward walking towards us. _

"_Rose?" She turned to Rose looking for.... I don't know, support maybe? Rose glared at her unimpressed by her little show. _

"_Are you deaf? Or just plain stupid?" Alice huffed anger filling her face. _

"_I give it six months, if that. Jazz, you're not like.... him." She sneered at the end looking at Edward in disgust who just smirked as he sat he down. _

"_Look at what he has done? Thanks to him your mother isn't speaking to you and your father is dead. All of this happened because of him." The venom in her voice coated every single word she spoke. Edward tightened up slightly next to me, this __little thing weighed on his mind from time to time. _

"_Did you not understand me before?" I asked. "Leave Alice, you're a nasty piece of work using my father's death as a way to worm into my life again. I'm not interested." I laced my fingers though Edward's and gave his hand a gentle reassuring squeeze. _

_Alice stood and narrowed her eyes at all of us before huffing and turning on her heel and leaving us alone. Edward let out a long breath before turning to look at me, his eyes filled with love smouldering me, locking me into place and under his spell. A small little curve played on his lips, just turning at the corners, his hand stroked the side of my face so lightly, almost not touching me at all. Smiling back at him my hand overlapped his. _

"_I love you." I whispered to him before capturing his lips with mine in a loving cherishing kiss. _

"_Love you, too.... bunny." He whispered against my lips smiling. _

"I swear to god himself if you do not get your ass out of that shower in the next minute I will come in and get you!" Rose's screams pulled me out of my memory.

Cutting the water off in the shower I grabbed a towel and dried off. Wiping the now steamed mirror I looked at my shaking hands. My nerves had crept back up, I could feel my whole body trembling slightly, and the closer we got to the time the more nervous I became.

"Jesus, Jasper, get the hell out of there now! It's gone two." Rose screamed as I pulled on a clean pair of boxers. _Fuck! _

I had under two hours to go until I married him, the thought filled me with excitement as well as nerves. If I was shaking now, how would I feel when the time came? My mind wondered how Edward was holding up, he had been so worked up yesterday, snapping all the time. He was like a completely different person. I knew he was just nervous about today and he was releasing his stress, but god he was a pain in the ass.

Walking out of the bathroom I smiled at my sister who had put great big rollers in her hair, I couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of her. Shooting me a look she disappeared into the bathroom and closed the door. My suit was already hanging up and out the protective sleeve, we hadn't gone for anything flashy and outrageous choosing to go for something very simple and stylish. The suits were plain dark gray with a white shirt underneath it, they both matched as we had both been there together when we picked them out.

There wasn't the element of surprise for us, there was the not knowing of what the other was wearing, there wasn't even the 'don't see each other' rule beforehand. Everything was simple and relaxed.

I had always pictured in my head something more flashy, something that drew in attention when you walked past, that screamed I was getting married. When I was going to marry Alice I spent ages looking at all the different suits you could hire, from the flash and bold to the plain and simple. I had wanted a flashy wedding, an expensive wedding. Flashy cars, a beautiful church and a reception venue that came out of a magazine. I wanted to follow the traditions of not seeing each other until we were to wed, I wanted it to be just right.

That made me chuckle.

All of what I wanted had suddenly changed, asking Edward to marry me, to telling him I wanted to do it now, it all changed. I no longer wanted or needed the flashy wedding I thought I would have, all I needed and wanted was for Edward to just be there ready to marry me. This, how it was set now, felt perfect.

"Jazz?" Rose clicked her fingers in front of my face. "Are you going to start to get ready or just continue to stare at the suit?" Sighing I smiled looking at my sister who had now removed the rollers from her hair letting her long blonde locks cascade down into delicate soft curls.

"You're happy for me, aren't you?" Rose giggled handing me my shirt. Why was she handing me my clothes? I was capable of getting dressed on my own without her help.

"Baby brother of mine, it makes no difference if I am happy for you or not, he makes you happy. Edward puts that smile on your face and adds that spring in your step, not what I, or any other thinks." I frowned, it was a yes or no answer, thats all. I didn't need the whole crap of what makes you happy, blah, blah, blah.

"You know what I mean, Rose." She rolled her eyes while I buttoned up my shirt with fumbling shaking fingers. "You're the only family I have here today." The sadness rang in my voice. The thought had never once popped into my head that I would be getting married without my parents being here, without my mum being here. It hurt slightly to know that my only family here was Rose.

"Yes." She came towards me and placed her hands on my shoulder. "I love you, Jazz, no matter what and I want to see you happy. I am happy for you, happy that you grabbed hold of what you and him have despite the crap that has been thrown your way and I can't wait to see my baby brother marry the love of his life. Now get dressed"

Time slipped by, my day had been filled with me sleeping in his arms and daydreaming. Before I knew it Rose was dragging me out of the bedroom and towards the main room. After a lot of talking and planning we agreed not to have either one of us standing waiting, and agreed to walk in together, hand in hand.

I reached the main room taking in shaky breaths. My chest felt so tight as my body shook with nerves, the room was moving, spinning and wobbling. My hand rested against the wall while I bent my head down trying to get a hold of myself. I felt Rose squeeze my hand reassuringly while I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths.

"I'm gonna go in." Lifting my head I smiled seeing her tear-filled eyes. "You look gorgeous, good luck." Rose let go of my hand and pushed the door open. Part of me wanted to look but the other part of me didn't, choosing not to look I turned and pressed my back against the cool white wall tilting my head back and closing my eyes.

Hearing the soft footsteps hit the marble floor, that grew louder and closer with each passing step, I smiled opening my eyes and saw Edward walking towards me. His bronze hair was more styled than normal with a slight bit of wax in it, his green smouldering eyes smiled with his emotions swimming in them so thick I was sure I could feel his love through just his eyes alone. A breathtaking smile on his full kissable lips, the tired looking man I saw this morning had gone, in its place was a man who radiated happiness and love.

My eyes never really registered that he was getting closer until his hands slid down my arms and linked through my fingers. "Hi, bunny." He whispered to me before giving me a small soft loving kiss on the lips.

"Hey, babe." Resting my head against his forehead I wondered why I had even thought about not seeing him at all, this felt so intimately beautiful and unbelievably perfect.

"Gentlemen, are you ready?" Both of us turned our heads at the same time smiling at the woman who would be conducting the ceremony, we both nodded. "I'll see you both in there in a few minutes."

My nerves had disappeared as she walked into the room leaving us alone. "Shall we?" I asked as he sucked in a deep breath before nodding.

Squeezing his hand tightly in mine we heard the soft piano piece being played, our signal to walk in. Walking into the room holding his hand tightly in mine I was overcome with emotion, seeing our friends, my sister and his family all here to watch this happen. So much had happened in such a small space of time, we had gone from being best friends, to lovers to us now standing here getting married. My mind repeated the same thing to me over and over again, he had always been there. All the years we had known each other he had been right under my nose all this time and I had never noticed until one fucking drunken night.

We had wasted so many years, so many times I had watched him have different boyfriends and I never once guessed that some years down the line I would be madly in love with him and minutes away from him becoming my husband. I guess the time was never right for us to discover there was something more between us than friendship, everything happens for a reason and it happens when the time is right.

I looked at the woman standing in front of us, I watched as she moved her mouth and the words fell out, but nothing that she said was sinking in, whatever she was saying I wasn't taking in. It wasn't because I wasn't interested in her words because I was..... I just wanted to get to the exchanging rings, I want him to hurry up and be mine. And while all this talk she was making was somewhat interesting it wasn't the reason I was standing here next to him.

"I believe the couple have chosen their own wedding vows. Jasper, if you would place the ring on Edward's third finger of his left hand." She asked.

Taking Edward's ring out of my pocket I looked deeply into his eyes, seeing them shimmering slightly with tears. Sliding the platinum diamond ring down his finger I held it there. Closing my eyes for just a second I took in this wonderful feeling that covered me, hoping to cherish it for the rest of my life and keep it safe.

"I could spend hours trying to find the right words to tell you that I love you and what you mean to me, but there aren't any. What I feel for you no words could ever describe. I will stand by your side no matter what life throws at us. I will offer my advice, be there for you to lean on and cover you with love." I smiled at him and gently squeezed his hand in mine. "I promise I will love you everyday of my life."

A small tear ran down Edward's cheek which he quickly wiped away before grinning from ear to ear. "Edward, would you place the ring on Jasper's third finger of his left hand?" My eyes stayed fix to the ring as he slid it down my finger placing it next to my engagement ring, the two looked beautiful together.

"There is no one in this world that knows me better than you do, there is no one I would want to spend my life with other than you. You are my everything, and I will always be by your side. I love you." His voice shook slightly, his eyes shone and a loving smile placed on his lips.

We stared at each other, looking deeply into each others eyes as the ceremony wrapped up. I could hear the sniffles of who I would guess was Rose and Esme, but I didn't bother to look. I could only look at one person, and that was him. Hearing the words come from her mouth I almost burst with happiness. "Seal your marriage with a kiss."

As his lips meet mine the tears fell from my eyes. His soft lips were upon mine sealing our marriage with a kiss, he was mine. Edward was now my husband and I couldn't be any happier. I didn't need anyone else in my life, all I needed was him giving me his love and support as we started our new life together.

* * *

_The boys are married, who is happy? _

_The chapter felt right to end it there without going into later on. I know I left out the humps.....you can't complain you have had humps nearly every chapter :D_

_Please hit the review button and send me love, Jen x  
_


	33. Chapter 33

**_AN/_**_Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story, put it on alert and placed it in there faves. I have been completely blown away with the number of reviews it has gotten and I have loved reading every single one. _

_A massive thank you to my beta for doing her thing and working her grammar magic on my chapters. _

_I have some bad, some sad and some good news. The bad news is the boys from It's Fate has gone on mute on me and will not speak, I haven't forgotten about the story and I really do want the next the chapter out and up but I can't make it come I have to wait until they begin to talk to talk to me again. The good news is I have begun working on something else which won't leave me alone until I get it down so who knows there maybe something else popping into your all your inboxes soon. Of course Broken Dream and Beautiful Nightmare is three chapters in and I am working on the fouth, if you haven't read it yet go check it out and give it a chance._

_And the sad news is......This is the final chapter or Right There! _

_I'm so sad to see it come to an end, but the boys have grown both personally and together and have reached the end of th road. I hope you all have enjoyed the ride I gave these guys, with all the ups and downs and fights they have had I hope the final chapter closes it nicely for you._

_Here its is....the last chapter.  
_

* * *

_**JPOV**_

I stood with the front door open watching as Edward slowly pulled onto the drive of our new home. He grinned at me through the windshield, a smile that was purely just for me, before opening the car door and stepping out onto the thin layer of snow we had during the night. Opening the back passenger door he carefully leant in, my eyes stayed fixed on him as I watched him carefully un-clip the fastener and lift out Mia. Holding her close to his chest he kicked the car door closed and walked towards me.

"You get her off." I asked looking at his tired eyes. He smiled and carefully handed me her. I kissed the top of her head breathing in her little scent, the hint of baby shampoo still lingered on her from her bath last night.

"Yeah, she caved about twenty minutes ago." He answered gently as we walked back into the house. Carefully carrying her upstairs I placed her in her crib and turned on the baby monitor.

Mia had arrived into our lives two months ago and since then our nights of passion had been swapped for trips round the block in the car trying to get her to sleep, tonight had been no different. It was now just turned five and we both had given up on trying to get any decent amount of sleep. I had been out in the car at two leaving Edward to take the later shift if she wouldn't go down, the car seemed to work better than walking the floor with her.

Even though we had forgotten what it was like to have a full night's sleep we wouldn't change her for the world. Mia was biologically mine and Maria's, the idea of this had come about not long after we got married. We both wanted children and we both knew the other would love to have them as soon as possible. Maria had come round one night to look at the wedding pictures and find out how our honeymoon had gone, while looking over the pictures and talking we had sunk ourselves through a few bottles of wine and we were all a little drunk.

_Flashback_

_  
"I brought wine!" Maria announced walking through the door and placing them down on the table. "I want pictures, I want details, and I want a glass." She grinned._

_"Anything else, Maria?" Edward joked while getting up and moving towards the kitchen to get glass and a bottle opener._

_"No..... I think that's it." She called after him before looking at me. "Look at you, you're glowing with happiness. I take it you guys had fun?" Fun? We had more than fun, our two weeks off the coast of Italy had been amazing._

_"We didn't want to come back." A sheepish smile crept on my lips as I thought back to our honeymoon, and the two weeks we spent there._

_"You did see Italy, didn't you?" She asked with a knowing grin as Edward arrived back with the glass._

_"Yeah, the hotel room was really nice, so was the balcony and the beach." I flushed slightly at Edward's words. Yeah, we hadn't really seen much of Italy, most places we went to we ended up making love._

_Maria looked over the wedding photos as we talked about our honeymoon. We spoke about work and how Lauren's case had been dropped. I didn't care to be honest. Yeah, I was happy that there would be no more from the matter and the investigation had now been dropped, but other than that I didn't care. My life had moved on, I was happy working at the club with Edward, happy how my life was and that I didn't have to work in that god awful place anymore._

_"Seriously, Jazz, I miss you at work." Maria said slightly half cut from the wine. "I miss seeing your little fits at the PC when it wouldn't load up. I miss our chats." She looked as though she was about to cry._

_I did miss Maria, we always manged to have a good laugh and pull us through the boring long days there. Maria would always be in my life, she was a good friend to have, and wouldn't think twice about telling me when I was acting like a cunt and needed my head pulled out of my ass. She was to me like Peter and Garrett were to Edward, who couldn't make it to the wedding. They were currently travelling the world and wouldn't be back until some point in the new year. Edward missed them on our day, he had wanted them there so badly, but they were on the other side of the world and weren't close enough to come back for it._

_"I know, I miss you too." Edward chuckled at our drunken miss you's we were currently saying. "But as much as I miss you, I love my new job so much more." I grinned looking at Edward who raised his eyebrow._

_"Stop there, I don't want to know what you two get up to at work." She giggled and refilled her wine glass. "Right, I'm gonna tell you something..... and I mean it as well."  
_

_"What's that, Maria? You've had too much to drink tonight?" Edward asked running his fingertips over the base of my back._

_"No, silly. A baby." She grinned at us. "When you want one, let me know.... You can have one of my eggs." I sat there speechless. Was she seriously just offering us what I thought she was? She can't be offering us this? She just can't be._

_Edward cleared his throat and looked at Maria. "Are you serious?" He asked his voice full of disbelief, she nodded and smiled at us both._

_"Yeah, I'm serious. I may be drunk, but that doesn't mean I don't know what I'm saying. I'll give you one of my eggs, I'll even carry him or her for you. I'll sign over all legal rights to the pair of you. I'm deadly serious, when you two are ready let me know and we can sort it out." My mouth opened and closed like a goldfish._

_Fuck, I loved Maria right now. Though the thought did enter my head not to get too excited she was drunk and there was a big chance that she would change her mind in the morning, when her wine head disappeared, but for now I was happy busy picturing a child of our own. If she actually did do this for us she would be an amazing woman, giving us something we both wanted and would love to have._

_"I can see I've shocked you both." Shocked? Fucking understatement of the year, Maria. "I mean it, guys. I wouldn't say it if I didn't. I'm gonna go and I'll speak to you both later."_

_Again Edward spoke, I really thought I had lost my power of speech. "See ya later, Maria." He walked Maria to the door. I could hear them both talking in the hallway. I couldn't really make out what they were saying, but I know it was to do with the bombshell she just dropped on us._

_The front door closed and Edward walked in smiling at me, I hadn't moved since Maria told us what she was willing to do for us. "What do ya think?" He asked sitting down next to me and laying his back against the sofa, pulling me to his chest he wrapped his arms around me._

_"Fuck...... babe, if she is serious shall we agree to it?" I asked. He released a breath in a smile, sighing happily over it._

_"I think we should, it's easier than finding a donor and everything. Besides, we know Maria, she would be a good choice." I thought about it, if Maria was to do this we would always be around her, seeing every stage of her pregnancy._

_"But would she be able to give it up after it's born? I don't think I could handle that if we went through nine whole months planing and waiting for our baby only to not get it at the end. I mean you hear about this sort of shit happening." I wanted to do it, but the thought of having it all snatched away from me scared me._

_"You sort out the legal papers beforehand I would think, Bunny. I don't know the ins and out of all of this, but I would imagine that you have some sort of legally binding paper beforehand." He kissed the top of my head. "In a few days time we will talk to Maria again, see if she is serious about this and if she is then we can look into the legal side before we start anything." Hugging him tightly I sighed contented with thoughts of our family growing._

_The weeks and months passed, and even though we had spoken to Maria about what she offered we still hadn't done anything about it. The months soon turned and we celebrated our first wedding anniversary, one blissful year of being with Edward had passed. With every day that passed from our wedding I fell more and more in love with him. We had managed to balance out us working at the club and us being a couple, the last thing we wanted was for the club to come between us and cause problems._

_A year after we married we decided that we wanted to move. The house we were currently living in was fine, but we had been there since college along with both Emmett and Seth until they moved out. It held some good memories and some pretty awful ones. We wanted a fresh start, a place where the only memories in there were just of us._

_During us looking at what seemed like a million fucking houses we decided to go and speak to Maria about what she had offered us just over a year ago. We had looked into the legal side of things and what we would need to do, what Maria would have to do and what we would have to do once the baby was born. Asking Maria if she was still serious was a daunting prospect, she could easily have changed her mind and decided against it, and if that was the case we would have to look elsewhere to make our dreams come true._

_Pulling up outside Maria's house I was a nervous fucking wreck. I already had my heart set on this happening now. In my mind we were going to have a baby in nine months time. Edward held my hand tightly as we walked up her path and knocked on her front door._

_"Jazz, relax." He whispered in my ear giving me a kiss. I wanted to laugh at him, he was far worse than me over this idea, yet somehow we had both been spending the last few days __telling each other to relax over it._

_"Come on in, boys." Maria said as she opened the door to us. Heading into her house I felt like we were heading back to the estate agent, waiting to find out if they would give us the mortgage we wanted. It's all in there hands right now, they can make you very happy or very fucking sad._

_"Maria, you remember that night you came round not long after we got back from our honeymoon?" I asked watching as she thought about it then giggled._

_"God yeah, I woke up the next morning feeling like shit from all that wine." She giggled again. "What about it, Jazz?" Yeah, maybe I should have kept my mouth shut and let Edward do all the talking._

_"Well..... Um..... It's...." I sputtered out feeling like a fool. Jesus! Just what the hell was wrong with me?_

_"What Jazz is trying to ask you, is that offer you offered us. Is it still valid?" I looked at him, who the fuck asks if it's valid to a friend?_

_"About me helping you guys out with a baby?" She said it so calmly, like it was nothing of much importance. We both simply nodded unable to find any words to speak. I think her calmness had both floored us and unnerved us._

_"Of course it is. I told you I was serious about it and I have been waiting for you two to finally decide you want a baby." We both released a breath we had been holding, relaxing, finally relaxing over the whole baby matter._

_"You're sure, aren't you?" Edward asked, there was a slight underlying tone of nerves in his voice. His voice was slightly pleading with her not to change her mind._

_"Yes, of course I am, so.... which one of you is going to be daddy?"_

"Are you awake?" His smooth whispering voice hit my ears. His breath fanned my neck and cheek as his arms wrapped around me in a loving embrace.

"Just about." Pushing my damp hair off my face I rested my head on his shoulder. "I would love to have a full night's sleep again." I murmured to him with a contented sigh. He chuckled gently.

"Me too, lets make use of Mia being asleep." He unwrapped his arms from me and took my hand, walking me out of our daughter's bedroom and down the hall towards ours.

Hearing the click on the bedroom door close behind me Edward's lips crashed onto mine. His fingers weaved through my hair pulling me closer to him as his tongue trailed across my bottom lip. Opening my mouth his tongue darted in, brushing against mine. I moaned into the kiss as I tasted him on my tongue. My hands slid down his back and rested on his pert ass, grabbing fistfuls of it and squeezing it hard in my hands caused him to make the most delicious sounds in my world.

Pulling away from the kiss, breathlessly I asked "The baby monitor?" He chuckled as he kissed down my neck and pushed his hands up the back of my T-shirt.

"On." He answered as he pulled my Tee over my head and threw it to the floor before bringing his soft smooth lips back to my eager waiting mouth.

As our lips moved together I ground my hard cock against his making us both moan. Hooking my thumbs through the belt loops on his jeans I pushed him towards the bed until the back of his calves hit the mattress. My hands worked up his Tee until I brought it off and over his head. My fingers ghosted over his hard cock making him moan before I popped the button on his jeans and pulled down his zipper. My hands pushed there way down the sides of the waistband of his boxers, bringing them down along with his jeans. Pushing him back on his shoulders I urged him to lay down on the bed.

Standing back from him I watched as he stepped out of his jeans and laid back, pushing his gorgeous naked body up the bed until his head reached the pillows. A moan escaped my lips as I took in the sight of him, he was so fucking gorgeous lying naked on the bed waiting for me. Popping the the bottom on my jeans his eyes stayed locked with mine as he gently stroked himself, pushing my jeans down I watched him bite his bottom lip and moan softly as I crawled slowly up his body.

Our cocks rubbed together as our lips met, my hips rocked slowly against his creating a wonderful friction between us. His hands roamed down the sides of my body, stopping at my hips and flipping us around so he was on top of me. Staring intently into his dark jade eyes that smouldered with love and passion I became lost in them. I gasped in pleasure as his hot wet mouth suddenly latched onto soft spot on my neck, sucking on it and making me squirm and writhe underneath him. His lips soon travelled down the rest of my neck towards my collarbone where he sunk his teeth in. I moaned loudly and grasped his hair hard in my hands making him moan and bite me harder. My hips bucked seeking more friction against him as he moved down my chest and towards my nipple ring.

"Have I ever told you how much I love your nipple ring?" He murmured to me in deep rich husky voice before taking it in his mouth and pulling on it gently.

"Jesus!...... Hell.... Yes." I moaned out in utter ecstasy as I felt his tongue flick against it while his hand pulled and twisted my other nipple. "Fuck....... Babe, I need you." I pleaded to him causing him to chuckle and shake his head.

"You can wait." He looked up at me through his thick dark lashes resting his chin on my abs. Fuck, I was dying here! He winked at me before kissing across my abs making me moan.

His talented mouth moved across my hot skin effortlessly setting my skin on fire. I cried out as his wet hot tongue skimmed over the tip of my throbbing cock before sucking it into his mouth. My body shook involuntary as I writhed in supreme ecstasy underneath him, feeling his blazing hot mouth devour every inch of me as his tongue caressed the under side of my shaft. I cried out as the head hit the back of his throat and he swallowed around me before sucking his cheeks in and moving back up my shaft.

His tongue swirled around my swollen sensitive head, dipping the tip of his tongue into the slit and tonguing it. "Edward...... fuck..... so....... fucking........ good." I moaned out breathlessly as he sucked hard around the head. Fisting the sheets on our bed I struggled not to lose control and explode into his mouth right now.

Sucking his way back up my shaft I felt his teeth gently graze my skin before he released me from his mouth. I whimpered for a fraction of a second before it turned into a gasp as he began sucking on my balls. His hand stroked my rock hard cock keeping me to a point of explosion, but not letting me release. His mouth worked on my balls, sucking and rolling them just the way he knew I liked.

I was at the near point of dying as he spread my legs wider and pushed my thighs up. The tip of his hot wet tongue ran over my tight pink hole making me shudder in delight. The tip of his tongue slowly ran around the edge before I felt the flat of tongue press against my hole. Moaning and shaking he flicked, licked and pushed against my tightness, the tip of his tongue pushed through my hole as his hand stroked my twitching cock slowly. Pleasure ran through my body and his tongue began to fuck me reducing me into pile of goo on the bed, completely at his mercy and dying for release, but not wanting this moment to end any time.

"Please....... I need you now." I almost demanded in a growl at him. He pulled away from me and I whimpered like a bitch causing him to chuckle. "Stop laughing and just fuck me already."

He smirked as I passed him the bottle of lube from the bedside drawer and got on all fours. This was one of my favourite positions and every time we fucked liked this it brought back the memories of our first drunken night together that started all of this. Feeling two slick fingers push inside me I moaned out in ecstasy and pushed myself back against them, his fingers thrust in and out of my tight hole stretching me.

As I moaned and rocked my hips back to meet his fingers I grew impatient of waiting for what I craved for. My overpowering need to feel his thick big cock in me, fucking me hard from behind was close to unbearable. I needed him so fucking bad, worse than I had ever needed anyone in my life. I was aching to feel him, aching to be fucked so hard I forgot my own name.

His fingers disappeared from my ass and I suddenly felt the tip of his cock rubbing against my hole before slowly pushing the tip in. I grunted out in pleasure happy to finally have what I had been craving. Expecting him to continue to push in he pulled out of me and rubbed his cock up the crack of my ass. I huffed in frustration as he continued to torment and tease me.

"I love teasing you." He murmured to me running his hands down my back and over my ass.

"Please...... babe." I pleaded with him to finally give me what I wanted, what I was dying to have. I wasn't above begging. Fuck, I'd cry if it meant me getting what I wanted.

His lips softly kissed down my spine sending a shiver of pleasure to rip through me. "I love you." His husky voice, thick with lust hit my ears as I felt him push slowly into me not stopping until he he was fully seated inside me. A soft moan left his lips as he pulled nearly all the way out before slamming into me hard making me cry out in pleasure.

My cries of pleasure filled our room as his pace increased, fucking me harder and faster with every thrust, pushing me closer to my release, hitting places deep inside of me. An electric current ran through my body setting it alight, highlighting every nerve-ending, making me respond to every single touch he gave me.

Dropping my arms down I rested my shoulders on the mattress creating a new angle. Ripples of delight ran through my body as he hit my sweet spot over and over again causing my body to crash in euphoria. Digging his fingers into my hips he began to pull my hips back to met his domineering thrusts. I cried his name over and over again, feeling my release building rapidly inside of me.

"Hold off...... I want.... you to..... cum with... me." He panted out breathlessly as I resisted the urge to grab my cock.

"Fuck..... Harder." Crying out the plea left my lips in a muffled sound as I pushed my face into the pillow not wanting to wake Mia from her sleep.

Edward slammed into me harder and faster as my mine was completely lost in the moment, everything stopped existing as my climatic waves crashed all round me sweeping away into a blissful heaven of sheer fucking pleasure with Edward.

"Cum with me, bunny." My pet name fell from his lips as his thrusts lost all rhythm, thrusting franticly into me. Grabbing hold of my leaking cock I matched my strokes to his thrust. Tightening my grip I pumped harder and quicker as my release was just seconds away.

"Fuck!" Edward cried as I felt his hot warm seed spill deeply into me. Hearing him cry in breathless whispers of my name from his lips pushed me over the edge.

My body stilled and then trembled hard as I shot my cum all over my hand and the bedspread. Breathing hard while I came down from my high Edward pulled out of me. Whimpering I missed the contact of his body on mine and collapsed on the bed.

A silly grin sat on my face as I felt Edward softly kiss me and whisper "I love you," in my ear before sleep overtook me.

,ooO00Ooo

Flickering my eyes open I was met with sunlight streaming in through the windows, I groaned and snuggled further down into the covers and rolled over. My arm stretched out looking for Edward only to feel the cold side of an empty bed. Sighing I lifted my head off the pillow and looked at the alarm clock on the bedside, 11:15 pm.

_Shit._ I hadn't slept in this long in ages. I wondered why Edward didn't wake me when Mia woke up for a feed, it was my turn after all, but I couldn't complain about it, I was in desperate need of some serious sleep. Edward must be so tired, he had the same amount of sleep as me, which wasn't a lot. I felt guilty. He had let me sleep while he got up and took care of our daughter, I would have to make it up to him, it was only fair.

Throwing the covers back I climbed out of bed and went in search of a pair of sweatpants and Tee before descending down the stairs. I could hear the faint sound of voices coming from the TV as I hit the hallway. I smiled hearing Edward's voice talking to Mia, my heart filled with love for the both of them as I pushed open the living room door to see Mia's head on Edward's shoulder, her big blue eyes staring at me. Edward turned his head to me and smiled, his eyes looked so tired which made me feel even more guilty than I did before.

"Why didn't you wake me?" I asked him as I gave Mia a kiss on the top of her head before giving Edward a kiss.

"I didn't have the heart to wake you. Besides, you were dead to the world." He chuckled while I frowned slightly.

"How long have you been up?" Stupid question, I could pinpoint the time he had been woken by Mia's cries.

"Long enough to know I have more caffeine in my body than blood right now." I chuckled as he sat back and moved Mia so she was lying on his chest. "Speaking of which...." He trailed off with a smile on his face.

"A coffee?" I asked with a loving smile on my lips, he simply nodded as I got up and headed towards the kitchen.

"You may as well do Mia's bottle while you're there." He called out to me as I entered the kitchen.

Filling the kettle up and putting it on I set about sorting Mia's bottle and grabbing two mugs out the cupboard. As I was spooning the coffee in the cups the doorbell went. Groaning I headed into the living room and poked my head round the door.

"I'll get it. I swear it better not be some fucker just trying to sell us crap that we don't want." There just seemed to be a growing number of people knocking all the time right now, trying to sell you everything and anything under the sun.

"Well, you never know, maybe it will be one of those church goers again." He chuckled, I rolled my eyes. The lady who lived three doors down was really big on church and god and all that, which was great and I have zero problem with that, what I do have a problem with was her turning up every now and then trying to get us to come to church and join in.

Heading over to the front door I braced myself to open it, both of seeing the the church goer and the cold air getting into the warm house. Shock ran through me as I opened the door, I hadn't expected to see my mother on our doorstep. I hadn't seen her or spoken to her since my father's funeral. Yeah, I had heard things though Rose who would tell me the odd thing here and there, but that was about as far as it went.

"What...... What are you doing here?" My voice was cold and flat towards her. What fucking right did she have just turning up here now? She hasn't given me so much as a second thought in just over two years and now she turns the fuck up here on my fucking doorstep.

Anger crashed through me as I thought about everything, every harsh word she threw at me, everything she blamed on me; how she just rejected me when I decided to give it a go with Edward, how I was disowned from the family and cut out of the will, how she couldn't even call when I got married and how she wasn't even there to share in the news about Mia.

"Jasper." Her eyes looked to the floor while I stared at her. "Rose told me that I have a granddaughter." She had to be joking, she was here because of Mia?

"Yeah, you do, and?" I asked dryly. This moment had been pictured so many times in my mind, there were times when I wanted to talk to my mum, when I needed her in my life and she wasn't there.

"Can I see her?" My mouth hung open. In over two fucking years of no contact she turns up and the first thing she wanted was my daughter, not fucking happening.

"No." Short and sharp I answered and by the look of her face she wasn't expecting that answer. What was she expecting? Me to open the door and welcome her in my home, into my life as though nothing had happened?

"Jasper, I just want to see her. I want to make amends." I laughed bitterly at her. "Don't laugh, Jasper, you were brought up better than that." Yeah, I was.

"I was, you're right, but you lost any right to have my respect a long time ago. Over two fucking years! It's been that long. I've gotten married in that time, had a daughter, and all of this you missed because you were unable to accept me being with a man." I screamed at her.

"You suddenly turned gay how was I meant to act?" She questioned. I shook my head unable to actually answer her without tearing her apart. "You're a parent now, Jasper, just think how you would feel if she suddenly brought home a girl? You wouldn't like it." The thought ran though my mind about how I would feel if I actually knocked out my own mother. I went against it, figuring that once I calmed myself down I would regret it.

"Stay there." I pushed the door to and moved sharply into the kitchen to where a photo of Mia was placed. Removing it from the frame I saw Edward out the corner of my eye holding Mia close to his chest watching me with a questioning look. "My mother." I answered sharply to him. I didn't mean for it to come out so harsh towards him, he hadn't done anything.

Opening the front door again I thrust the picture in her face. "Take it, it's the closet you will ever get to her. I will not have someone like you around her, poisoning her mind." Her mouth fell open. "And another thing, if Mia ever comes home with a girlfriend or does something I don't like I won't ever hold it against her. I won't go and disown her if she is happy. Her happiness means more to me than anything else, I'll never turn my back on her the way you did with me for finding happiness." My whole body shook as I battled to keep my temper under control. She went to say something but I put my hand and cut in before she even got the chance.

"Don't bother, I don't care any more what you have to say. Do not come here again, do not show your face at my door ever again." With that I slammed the door in her face and turned round closing my eyes and resting my head on the back of the door.

"Are you okay?" Edward's soft caring tone filled my ears. I opened my eyes to see Edward's smouldering green eyes staring at me intently just inches away from my face making me smile.

He was always there for me, through everything I had ever been through in my whole god damn life he was there, supporting me when I needed it most and loving me when I was hurting. The one that was made just for me was right there the whole time. I was glad that I opened my eyes to him and fell in love with him.

Wrapping my arms around his neck I kissed him gently on his soft plump lips before whispering "I am now."

* * *

_There it is. All done and dusted. Some may have wanted Jasper and His mum to finally come back together but I personally don't think it would have fitted well, I think the ending the was perfect for our boys and I hope you enjoyed it. _

_For the last time please hit the review button and send some love. If you have never reviewed it, reviewed it a handful of time or review nearly every chapter, please hit that little button and take a minute to tell me what your thoughts._

_Thank you and I'll see you all soon, Jen x  
_


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